Ch 14- A Little Patch of Heaven

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July 1915

"M'lady, I'm not sure there's much point to this, its nice of you but…"

"Cora." She gave an exasperated sigh, correcting her friend.

"Well, we are in public…"

Cora sighed. "Elsie I'm just giving you a break, please take it. It's not as if you haven't earned it!"

By now, Benjamin Crawley and the twins were nearly six months old. All three spent a lot of their time babbling, smiling, and generally melting their mother's hearts. They also spent the bulk of their time together and were already good friends, just as their mothers had hoped. Elsie couldn't believe so much time had gone by. A full year had passed since she'd fainted at the garden party and she and her husband had confessed to everyone that they were in fact married and expecting a long-awaited baby. At present, Cora and Elsie sat under a tent together holding their babies the garden party going on all around them. Elsie didn't feel particularly comfortable there as guests kept coming up to Cora so they could meet baby Benjamin, most of them ignoring her completely in the process. But Cora insisted she and the babies stay and rest.

Unable to negotiate with her employer turned friend, Elsie looked to her infant twins for solace. She couldn't have been happier with her surprise twins than she was. Charlie and Charlotte were the best of blessings and she found herself falling more in love with them each day that passed. Elsie discovered that as the babies grew and changed, she and Carson grew into being their parents. The pair were no longer overwhelmed by their babies and while they'd long dreamed of having a family together, they never would've expected that life could be quite as good as it was. She could still barely fathom that the twins were a joy she could not describe.

"Are you having fun my lad and my lass?" Elsie whispered in both their tiny ears.

Charlie, a bright blue-eyed baby boy, rested in his mother's arms carefully watching all the strange ladies and gentlemen who came to meet his friend. Elsie looked down at him, kissing his cheek when she noticed him looking intently. Charlotte, who was chewing on her rattle, paused doing the same. A few people had come over to see her and the twins, Dr. Clarkson, for example, Isobel, even his lordship's sister, Lady Rosamond and varying townspeople.

But most of the guests who came to pay homage to the youngest Crawley ignored the housekeeper and her twins. That hurt Elsie, not out of vanity or because she had any particular expectation that these people should be kind to her: instead, she hadn't wanted her children to know what it felt like to be upstaged, to be hurt or made to feel less than because they weren't rich, and they weren't going to grow up to be a lord or lady…Elsie's whole mission in even having wanted to be a mother was to raise children who didn't feel their path had been chosen for them. She wanted the twins to believe their destiny was of their own making. For now she sat back thinking that sitting there, watching Benjamin be praised like this undermined that effort. But then again, they were still there, under the tent, in a privileged place. Elsie sighed.

'Well lass.' She thought to herself. 'Some advantages are better than none, aren't they?'

Baby Charlotte looked over at Ben when she heard him giggle. Ben was probably happiest of all of them that day. He adored his mother and was overwhelmed by the idea that he was spending all day with her and not just a few hours. He kept looking up at her kind of awestruck, looking away only when Charlotte or his favorite sister, Sybil, caught his eye. Cora kissed his cheek. She was desperately in love with her son and had never bonded with her other babies in this same way. She knew it was a bond borne out of almost loosing him twice, but she wouldn't have it any other way.

"My darling is that your big sister over there?" She whispered and he clapped cheerfully. Sybil was by far one his favorite people in the world.

Charlie was content to just lounge in his mother's arms but Elsie could tell Charlotte wanted to get up and run (not walk), which would be difficult considering the girl and her brother were just now making attempts at crawling and hadn't come close to standing yet.

"I know you've got a lot of ideas in that wee head my girl, you're a smart one. Mummy sees that in you and she loves it. But sometimes we have to take things slow." She whispered. "Slow and calm can win the race my Charlotte."

"I do hope you're enjoying yourself." Cora added.

"I am but it is far too kind for you to let us just…lounge here like this." Elsie hesitated. In addition to all her mixed emotions about the twins, she felt she should be working.

"It's a party, please enjoy yourself, and besides…I think this might be the last party we have for a while…"

"Unfortunately; I'd have to agree."

Elsie had been surprised she'd been asked to plan a party at all that year with how everything had changed. It almost didn't seem appropriate to her and she'd double-checked with Cora before she'd started working on it. It was a much smaller, simpler affair than it had ever been before, but it still gave the house and all their guests a much-needed sense of normalcy. She knew her husband, for example was enjoying himself immensely. For him, the whole thing was a return to normal, although a brief one. Neither of the Carsons understood just how fleeting of a return it would prove to be but Cora was already beginning to understand.

"No more parties, not like this one, till after the war I'm afraid. Maybe not even then." Cora sighed, looking down at Ben. "I'm so happy he's a baby."

"Oh, me too." Elsie replied, hugging Charlie tight.

The war had put a lot into context for Elsie. She'd been so crushed all those years about being unable to get pregnant. And now she had two perfect children, just in time for all the men (whose age her son should've been) to go off to a war, which it seemed most of them weren't slated to return from. Elsie knew she couldn't have handled that loosing her much loved son in that way, or watching her Charlotte lose a beau that way.

"Mummy loves you so much Charlie." She whispered. "She's glad she had to wait for you and hopes you never, never in your whole life have to face anything like this. Oh she hopes so much my beautiful boy."

If there was one thing Elsie hadn't fully grasped about motherhood, it was how much she would worry. She found herself endlessly agonizing about the futures of these perfect little people. It was obvious that times were changing. She knew they were and she wanted something better for them, something different that wouldn't have been available to any Carson or any Hughes that walked the earth before them. She looked over at Benjamin Crawley and Cora, feeling slightly jealous in some sense. Lady Grantham, in her mind was assured of a certain kind of future for her children.

Little did she know, Cora shared her concerns and lamented over the possible outcomes for all four of her children. She felt, at times, as though the earth on which they stood was about to crumble and swallow them whole. She had not said it to Robert, but she wondered if Downton was a viable prize to leave her son, come 1940 or so when he would no doubt inherit the title and estate…she knew estates like it were rapidly folding up, that they couldn't be maintained. In a way she thought Mary was lucky for the loss of it, luckier than she'd ever understand and she worried that baby Benjamin had been slated with a burden instead of a palace.

Cora was also worried her girls would not marry or otherwise find a life… or that they would choose a life that wasn't befitting of a lady at all...

"I still don't know how I feel about Sybil becoming a nurse…" This was something she freely admitted to Robert, Elsie and almost no one else. "I don't think I like it but I can't say I don't want her to help…or to be herself. Did you really leave home when you were about her age?"

"Yes ma'am." She smiled, the thought making her feel better about how far she'd come in her life.

She looked down at her baby girl. In that moment, hope leapt in her heart and she found herself struck with this incredible feeling she could not shake. It rung within her like a sudden 'zing' resonating with her soul almost victoriously and in a simple, subtle moment she understood that her Charlotte would have chances she'd never dreamed of.

Cora sighed. "Oh Elsie I…this war is going to change things. It already has. I am worried what will become of my children and their options."

"Well I can understand that."

"Times are changing rapidly, some of it I welcome, and parts of it like this war its…it's like a dark cloud moving in and I see it but am powerless to stop it or to take cover from it. Did I tell you? Almost no one knows yet." Cora paused, turning to her friend a look of utter confusion on her face. "Cousin Isobel wants to turn Downton into a hospital?"

…..

Later That Evening

"Well my wee lad, my wee lass are ya ready to help Mummy and Daddy celebrate?" Elsie began, patting baby Charlie on the back.

Charlotte was on a blanket on the floor, laying on her stomach and looking up at her Mum trying to figure out how to crawl. Thus far, she had the upper body strength to raise herself up on her tiny hands and stay there, but couldn't combine that with moving just yet.

"Charlotte. It's Mummy and Daddy's special day did you know that?"

Elsie never could've guessed she'd spend her nineteenth wedding anniversary with her six month old baby twins, and if she had she would've assumed they were the youngest of a large brood, not the two long awaited only children of an aging but very much in love couple.

She kissed the side of Charlie's head and put him down on his tummy next to his sister. Elsie giggled as she watched the twins and got on her knees to build a fire. Neither baby really had the strength to move around on their own yet but they were trying (and failing) and it was adorable. Their efforts reminded her of how hard she and Carson had tried over the years to have children and of how much she loved him. Tonight would be a night for them to celebrate that and she was almost giddy about it; she couldn't wait.

"Can you believe it Downton, a hospital?" Carson huffed as he came in the front door. "Oh let me do that."

"I can build the fire. And you seem more offended than Lady Grantham." She giggled, not referring to her as Cora because Carson didn't like it when she did.

"Well I am its absolutely absurd. Preposterous."

"She said it wouldn't be for a while yet, things would have to get much worse and hopefully the war will be over before that happens."

Carson sighed. He had a feeling the war wouldn't end anytime soon, but chose to change the subject.

"What are they doing on the floor?" He smiled at the twins.

"We're working on crawling! Look Charlotte, look Charlie it's your Daddy, he's home to celebrate with Mummy."

The twins looked up at him and began to giggle and squeal.

"Oh…Elsie it's moving too fast…have they made any progress?"

"I know." She kissed his cheek. "I think Charlotte's almost ready to start crawling. She'll be first."

"I can tell she wants to." He laughed, watching his daughter try to pull herself up on her knees.

Charlotte kept falling but not making a fuss about it. Charlie was content, however, to remain poised on his hands, looking up at his Dad. He was excited he was home and wished he'd notice him.

"I'm immensely proud of my girl," Carson continued, lifting his son into his arms. "She reminds me of her mother."

"Oh?" Elsie asked, throwing one last log into the fire.

"Yes. Sweet but determined, and she does my heart so much good."

"Mr. Carson that's so sweet." She blushed, almost near tears.

"Happy Anniversary Mrs. Hughes." He kissed her cheek.

…...

An hour or so later the sun set and by this time the twins were fast asleep. They lay them down in their shared crib and just stood there staring at them for a few moments as they slept. The four of them had had dinner together and the twins had conked out just as they'd finished eating. It wasn't the romantic anniversary dinner one might hope to have but it suited Carson and Elsie just fine.

"Elsie they're so beautiful. Mrs. Hughes…from the moment they were born…well from the moment you pulled me out of the kitchen and told me you were finally pregnant, I haven't been able to stop being amazed and proud. With them and you and I think that pride and awe will last me the whole of the rest of my years."

"Oh Mr. Carson me too." He kissed her forehead delicately.

"Whoever thought this would be our life after almost twenty years worth of marriage?"

"Certainly not me." She giggled resting her head on his shoulder.

"Come on." He whispered, taking her hand.

"Were are we going?" She asked. She followed him down the stairs, her hand in his. She was surprised when he led her into the kitchen and pulled a small basket out of the cupboard.

"Charlie we can't leave the babies, it's…"

"Shuuuu…we'll hear them."

Carson led his wife out the back door and into their garden. It was a perfect night, not too warm, not too cold. The stars shone brightly above and Elsie found they took her breath away as she gazed at the heavens. Carson smiled, taking a blanket out of the basket and laying it in a patch of grass in the middle of the garden Elsie had planted in her spare time.

"Oh my Charlie it's just perfect." She sighed, tears in her eyes.

"Remind you of anything?" He asked, pouring her a glass of wine.

"It's just like the night we ran off together. Just for dinner."

"Just for dinner." He reminded. "And then we ended up out here in the fields, in the beautiful moonlight all alone. I could've stayed out here with you forever my Elsie."

"In a way I think you did." She started to cry more.

"At that I did." He said, extending her glass to her and she went and sat next to him.

Elsie would never forget anything about that enchanted night and she was touched that some how, her husband seemed to have reproduced it after nineteen years. Everything about tonight was the same as it had been years earlier: the light, the air, the sky, the connection she felt between them, the pounding of her heart and the blooming realization that she felt endless love for this man…everything. Nineteen years ago, they'd gone out just for dinner and then found themselves here, out in the fields kissing in a way she'd never been kissed before. By the end of the night they were two towns away, married and making love for the first time in a hotel room neither of them could afford. It had been the craziest thing either of them had ever done and also the absolute best. Carson leaned over to kiss his wife and she sighed into his lips, tilting her head and replying eagerly to his lip lock.

"You don't have to cry." He whispered.

"Oh yes I do…this is the most thoughtful, romantic thing you've ever done and I'm just overwhelmed."

"I love you Mrs. Carson, endlessly, wholly." He smiled, tears coming to his own eyes. "I'm sorry it took so very long for some of our plans to come to fruition but…I'm happy. Endlessly, blissfully happy with you, and with perfect baby twins who show in their very being how much I love you."

"Oh Charlie."

"What a better way to celebrate all that, and the life we've shared together this whole time, than with going to the place where we first decided to become one, do you remember what I said to you?"

She didn't speak and instead leaned into kiss him once more, snaking her tongue inside his mouth gently. When she broke the kiss she leaned her forehead against his. "You said I can't live without you, and I'd love it if you'd marry me, marry me, marry me right now because you've stolen my heart. And I said yes, yes oh yes my Charlie." She kissed him again once she said this.

He took her hands in his own and kissed them. "I'm so thankful you said yes, and that we went and we did it right then…but I didn't get part of my wish until last year."

"Oh?"

"Yes, you see. I wanted to marry you for so many reasons…one of them was that I wanted with everything in me to tell the whole world I loved you. That you belonged to me and I to you…that we were created for each other just as the stars were made to grace the heavens above."

"I don't think a lot of people could imagine Mr. Carson saying such things." She blushed, openly crying now.

"He may be quite a proper man. But for his Elsie, he'd concede to just about anything." He smiled into her eyes. "It's our nineteenth anniversary and our first in one go, because it's our first anniversary of being free to tell the world that we are one."

"Charlie that's magnificent." She cried, having not thought of it in that way.

"I'm so honored to spend my first anniversary of that and the nineteenth of our marriage here with you alone in our little patch of heaven. Thank you for being my dream come true. For being as magnificent to me as the heavens above."

She started to cry when he said this, "You wonderful man. You're my dream come true…I never would've had an ounce of a wonderful of life as I'd had without you. Thank you that in everything you do, in the way you love me even in the way you kiss me you constantly assure me that everything will be alright."

Suddenly Elsie felt at peace about her worry about the twins and their lives. Carson had ensured her they'd have a wonderful life and so far he'd been right.

"Happy nineteen years Mrs. Carson and here's to nineteen wonderful more." He whispered, leaning into kiss her as a shooting star flashed above their heads.