Chapter 14

"You are still in pain, aren't you?" Barnabas asked her gently.

Liz nodded. "I am. Lord, I have so little control. When the pain is over me I can't think of anything except how much I want it gone. The I don't feed until the hunger is too great." she tugged Barnabas' sleeve. "I know how you feel about attacking children. And Vicky... Vicky is my niece and she's pregnant. I should have never touched her, yet I did."

"Why didn't you come to me for help?'

"And let you see me like this? It was bad enough that Carolyn and Roger could see what I had become. I was proud, too proud... I had nothing , but I still had my pride."

'We would have helped you."

"I know that there is only one way you can help me now" A spasm shook her. "With a stake. But not yet."

"We understand that. We won't do it until you ask for it."

"I didn't know that I would still hurt. I didn't know that it would get worse. I thought that I'd be like your are. Pearce did not tell me that it would be like this."

"Pearce? He did this to you?"

Liz nodded "I paid him to do it."

"Did he offer?""

"No. I asked him to. I heard that he'd do anything for money."

Barnabas frowned "We will make things better for you, Liz. As much as we can. You won't have to hide. I will get you what you need."

Carolyn moved to her mother's side. "And we can be together, mother."

"Carolyn, don't cry." Liz said softly.

"I love you, mother. I don't want to lose you."

"You won't. Not yet." Liz embraced her tightly "It is all right, baby. Don't cry. It is all right."

Barnabas left them alone. He went downstairs where George was waiting for him.

George shook his head. "You know what will have to be done, sooner or later."

"I do."

"Liz is in terrible pain. She knows it herself that there is not cure and no help for her. Megan told me enough."

"Derek" Barnabas said darkly " he probably knew what would happen and he did not care. If he wanted her money so much, why didn't he just steal it?" Barnabas' hands tightened "I am going to kill him for this."

"He probably didn't know."

"He must have known! If Megan knows of it, he doest too."

Upstairs, Liz held Carolyn tightly "Maybe it is for the best. We could not go on as we had been doing."

Carolyn didn't answer. This acceptance from her mother meant that soon would be another acceptance... and she was not ready for it.

Liz pulled out of the embrace.

"What's wrong?" Carolyn asked.

"I am hungry and I can't"

"Why not, mother? Please, let me help you."

"You are my daughter. I explained it to you before."

"But it is all right. Let me help you this way." Carolyn put her hand on Liz's shoulders. "please take it. Let me do this for you."

Liz pulled back her lips. She had done this often enough/, but never to Carolyn. Yet how could she deny her this much? Soon they would have to say goodbye. Let her have this at least.

Downstairs George was ready to leave.

"Carolyn will take care of her. But does she understand what is going to happen?"

"She understands. Both of them understand. But they need time together."

"Liz is in pain." George pointed out again.

"She does not want to end it yet. When she does, I will do it myself."

"You will?""

"I once trusted my father to do the same for me. Instead he..." Barnabas' voice became low, filled with hate, as it always did when he talked about his father. "that will not happen to Liz if I can help it. I have silver bullets. The moment when Liz says that she wants out of it I'll put them in my gun and... and do what must be done. But not before."

"All right. But the longer it takes, the longer she'll hurt. And there is nothing for her now."

"There is Carolyn. They need each other."

"I know. I know..."

"But Derek better not show his face around me or I'll tear him limb from limb. Don't tell me that he didn't know. Somebody should teach him a lesson."

"I will give him a lecture on it."

"Lecture! He should have both his arms broken, and I will do that myself. How can anyone be so greedy, so stupid, so. so.. irresponsible?"

"You mean that the cancer did not stop growing?" Derek was sick as George described what had happened to Liz.

"No. It did not. She's in as much pain as she was before. Worse, even. And it will get worse."

"But why? Why should it...? It makes not sense."

"You didn't know that it would come out this way?' George asked softly.

"How could I?... I never knew. I never heard of anything like this... Oh, God."

George believed Derek. He was greedy and given to wild schemes, but he would never purposefully hurt anyone. He had been sick because of what Nicholas had once forced him to do. He would not knowingly condemn Liz to what she was now undergoing.

"I didn't know." Derek repeated.

"I believe you."

"You do?' There was no surprise, no satisfaction in his words.

"It is not your style to do something like this." he put his hand on Derek's shoulder. "God knows that you have been a trial to me, but you'd never do anything like this knowingly."

"She asked me to do it She said that she'd pay me well if I made her as I was. She looked me up. She called me on the phone... I did not seek her out... it seemed an easy way to make money. It made her happy... and it turned out like this."

George wondered when Derek would develop some common sense. He eventually would, if he lived that long. But it would not happen in the foreseeable future. Derek was now weeping noisily. George let him have a handkerchief and waited until he was calm again.

"Just a bit of advice. Keep away from Barnabas. He's very angry with you, and he might get violent."

"I want to explain it to him."

"You'll do nothing of the sort. He's feeling murderous towards you. Just wait until I have calmed him down. Then, if you want, I can arrange for you to meet him for explanations."

"Why wait? Why not explain right now?"

It was Barnabas, appearing between them without warning.

Derek flinched at the anger and raw hatred that he saw in Barnabas' eyes.

"Yes. Explain to me how come Liz is now in more pain than a human being can stand. Explain it to me how you could do it."

Derek began walking back, almost running.

"Explain it to me." Barnabas' voice was slow, with ominous echoes. Derek knew that if Barnabas ever got his hands on him it would be a messy and painful end for him.

"Enough!" George stepped between them "Leave him alone!"

"You know what he did! You saw Liz!"

"He did not know that it would turn out like this!"

Barnabas snarled.

"Don't be so damned self-righteous!" George shouted "as if you had not done worse!"

"I never..."

"Why is it so terrible? Because it happened to Liz? It also happened to Megan. And to Dirk Wilkins, and to Roxanne Drew."

"It was not the same" Without realizing it, Barnabas was now on the defensive.

"No, it was not. They did not ask for that to happen to them. You were just too busy to worry about being careful, so it happened! Liz did want it. She asked him! She paid him for doing it!"

"But he did not tell her what would happen."

"How could he, when he did not know of it himself? If Megan had had a cancer when you attacked her, would that have stopped you? If would not, so don't act outraged now.!"

Barnabas was now trying to answer the angry accusations hurled at him. George saw that he had made his point.

"Derek is one of my men. Whatever his shortcomings, he has been of value to me and I don't like the idea of you assaulting him, on any pretext. Understood?"

"But..." Barnabas was still unwilling to let go of it.

"Must I recite to you your own misdeeds? Must I remind you what earned your being strapped to that guillotine? Derek never did anything to deserve that. He never killed anyone. So don't get so high and mighty because he screwed up a bit."

Barnabas grumbled still.

"You know that I am right." George said firmly "Just go home and calm down. Blowing off steam the way your are doing does not help any."

Barnabas grumbled again, but in a more subdued way.

"Go." George said, more amicably now. "there is nothing that you can do here."

Barnabas gave Derek one last poisonous look and vanished.

"Just keep out of his way." George told Derek "he should have calmed down a bit tomorrow, but it is better not to push your luck."