Thank you so much for the kind words and feedback! Sorry for the heart wrenching content of the previous chapter. FYI – after this chapter, (starting with chapter 15), the story is going to be rated M – so it won't pop up on the page unless you change the filter (or unless you follow the story). Just so you know!

Chapter 14 – Believe It Anyway

"This world's gone crazy and it's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway"

~ Martina McBride

The next morning, Stacie stood huddled with several other doctors inside Beca's room for a long time. Against all odds and current medical beliefs, Beca had survived the night. Not only had she survived, her dangerously low white blood cell count had risen - and there was – miraculously - no trace of infection in her lungs. Her blood pressure and heart rate were completely stable. She was resting comfortably for the first time in weeks.

Stacie was the last one in the room. She fixed Beca's blankets and stared up at the ceiling, trying to calm the rising wave of tears. It didn't help. She broke down then - for the first time since Beca's diagnosis. Unable to keep herself upright, she knelt to the ground. She sobbed heavily, her head resting on the bed, her hands folded in the first prayer she'd entertained since she had been a little girl and the bad thing had happened.

"You cry when I don't die?" Beca asked softly. "Weirdo." Stacie sat up, taking deep breaths and swiping at the tears still falling.

"Sorry," she said, trying to stop.

"You're allowed to be human," Beca answered. "I was a little worried you didn't know how to cry," she teased. Stacie laughed through the tears.

"It's not an advisable pass time in my line of work."

"Yeah, seeing all those STDs would be a cry-worthy bummer." Stacie laughed again.

"That was bad," Stacie told her, eyes shining, "You're slipping."

"I've been a little tired."

"I know," Stacie said with a soft voice and a nod, more tears coming without her permission. "Thank you, for not dying."

"I try my best to defy odds whenever possible."

"God, I love that about you." Beca smiled and reached out to grab Stacie's hand. The taller woman moved up to sit on the bed and hugged her. "You have to hold on - we can make this work if you keep fighting."

"I'll try my best," Beca agreed. "Now, clean up before you go out there. If Chloe sees you crying, she's going to think I'm dead."

"Don't be macabre."

When Stacie exited the room, she looked and felt better than she had in weeks. Chloe, Aubrey, Jesse, and Dr. Mitchell were standing in front of the closest waiting room, watching for her. She was sure they had already seen the other doctors leave Beca's room. Although Dr. Patil was her oncologist – the family had very little contact with her because Stacie's heavy involvement had made her the go-between since the beginning. She walked over to them and led them inside. The room was filled with only the Bellas and Beca's family. Chloe saw that Stacie planned to talk to them all at once and looked worriedly in the direction of her children, who were in various states of sleep, cuddled around each other, and Emily.

"It's okay," Stacie assured her. "Good news, for once." Chloe couldn't believe her - there hadn't been good news in weeks. Everyone in the room sat up a bit straighter. The twins and Vera sat up, scooting against the far wall to listen. Only Dahlia remained sleeping in Emily's arms. Stacie sat down in the chair that Benji vacated for her, thanking him softly as he did so. She was so tired.

"Beca's white blood cell count is almost normal," Stacie said. "Her heart rate and blood pressure have stabilized - and there's no sign of infection in her lungs."

"How did that happen? What did you do?" Chloe asked.

"There is no good explanation," Stacie told her. "Beca's body just decided to put up a really good fight."

"What does it mean?" Bella asked.

"It means that we can try the bone-marrow treatment," Stacie told her. "Dr. Patil is pretty confident that she can irradiate the rest of the cancer cells – then we need the bone-marrow transplant to start her immune system to rebuilding. We just need to find a match." The next few hours were a bustle of activity. All of the Bellas were tested, even though a non-familial match was unlikely. Dr. Mitchell, Chloe, and the three older girls were tested. Chloe was hesitant, but Poppy and Bella reminded her that they were 18 - and Vera begged to be allowed.

Beca slept the entire day – comfortably. She didn't wake once in need of pain medication and wasn't disturbed by the line of family and friends in and out her door. She finally woke around dinner time and asked the nurse to help her clean up. With assistance, she washed her face, brushed her teeth, and changed into a new pair of pajamas. She wanted to put her wig on but the nurse told her she looked beautiful just the way she was – and that the wig was too cumbersome for her to worry about until she was feeling much stronger. She settled for exchanging the scarf for a brown hat with crocheted flowers that Dahlia had given her.

Once she was sitting up and supported by the deluge of pillows she'd somehow ended up collecting, she asked the nurse to find her family. The woman didn't have to look far – the three older girls, Chloe, and Stacie were waiting to enter her room. Dahlia was at home with Emily and Benji, who were staying at the Beale Mitchell home.

Stacie sat on the end of the bed and explained what they needed to do. "The cancer cells that are left are hiding in your bone marrow."

"I take it that's very sneaky of them?" Beca asked. Her friend rolled her eyes and Chloe chided her for not taking it seriously. "Okay, okay," Beca said. "I'll pretend to be serious. What does that mean?"

"After consulting with several other doctors, Dr. Patil wants to do a final chemo treatment that would kill the cancer cells – even those in your bone marrow and any that try to escape into your blood stream. But that's going to decimate your body's natural defenses – your immune system. Which, as you know, is already partially compromised. So you'll need a bone marrow transplant after the treatment- it will kick-start your immune system to rebuild."

"Okay," Beca agreed, immediately feeling even more tired just thinking about another chemo treatment. "When do we do that?"

"Normally, we would have to find a donor. But we've already found one. Bella is a perfect match," Stacie told her.

"No," Beca said quickly, shaking her head fast enough to make herself dizzy. "No - I'm not allowing it."

"I'm 18," Bella told her. "It's not your choice. I'm not going to let you die if I can do something to help." She was standing to the side, her arms crossed.

"It's too dangerous. Anything could happen," Beca told her. "The answer is no."

"You don't get to decide that," Poppy said from across the room. "You don't get to decide to leave without trying every possible thing. We need you, Mama. And Bella is healthy - it's not a big deal. We already talked to the doctors - it's more dangerous for you than for her."

Beca looked at Chloe. "Help me here, please?"

Chloe's eyes cast down. "Beca - I love you. But I don't agree with you on this. If Bella is willing - and she's a match, I think we need to try it."

"Girls, please go outside," Beca said firmly, looking at each of her daughters. She might have lost strength and weight, but her glare was still as strong as ever.

"Mama – " They all began to argue.

"Now," Beca ordered. She turned to Chloe and Stacie. "You two stay right here." Once the three teens were outside, Stacie closed the door, cutting them off from the conversation.

"I'm not going to do this," Beca told them. "And I can't believe you two think that I would. It's too much—"

"What if you die?" Chloe asked softly. "We almost lost you last night. The doctors still don't understand why we didn't. Isn't that close enough for you? What if there is no other way to get rid of this cancer?"

"It would suck," Beca admitted. "But Chlo, I can't put our daughter in danger to save my life - "

"If you die - and we don't try this transplant - how do you think Bella is going to feel? She'll spend her life blaming herself. Is that what you want?"

"That's not fair," Beca shot back.

"Neither is you trying to tie our hands because you feel badly about putting Bella at any sort of risk."

"The risk isn't that high," Stacie cut in. "I know you're worried. But really, the biggest risk is Bella going under general anesthesia. And we'll do all of the precautionary tests first to make sure she can handle it. And she won't be under for long – an hour, tops. I'm her doctor too – I wouldn't suggest this if I thought we were putting her in unnecessary danger."

"It's going to hurt," Beca argued. "Don't they have to go in through bone?"

Stacie nodded. "It's going to hurt. And she knows that. And she still wants to do it. You didn't raise a fool, Beca. She understands what she's getting herself into. But she'll recover – quickly. She's eighteen. She has a better immune system than the three of us combined."

A few minutes after Chloe and Stacie emerged, telling them that Beca had agreed to the procedure, Bella slipped into the room. She closed the door behind her and could feel her mother glaring at her, so she was looking anywhere else when she walked in. "I know you're mad," the teen said. "And I'm really sorry. But I'm not going to let you die just so you get your way."

"You're infuriating," Beca said.

"So are you," Bella shot back. She walked over to the bed and sat next to Beca, her eyes filling with tears as the small woman hugged her. She felt so much weaker than she had a few months before - Bella could feel every bone. But it was still her mom - and the hug helped. "I can't lose you," Bella told her softly, glancing over and meeting Beca's eyes for fleeting seconds.

"What if something happens to you?" Beca asked. "How would I forgive myself?"

"Mama, I'll be fine. Seriously - Aunt Stacie has been researching the procedure like a dog with a bone - I've read so much about it. There's not a lot of danger. There's some risk of infection - but we'll be careful. And I'm healthy - I can fight an infection."

They moved quickly – Bella and Chloe met with more doctors and Bella was walked through the procedure more times than she really cared to be. She had to undergo a variety of tests to ensure that she was healthy enough to be put under general anesthesia. Two days later, she woke in a hospital bed.

She was awake but she in a lot of pain, so she kept her eyes closed. She knew as soon as she opened them, she would have to answer questions - and she really didn't want to yet. A slight shift to alleviate pressure from her right side caused her to groan, giving herself away.

"Bells?" Chloe was at her side in seconds. Bella opened her eyes and tried to smile at her Mom. It came out more like a grimace.

"Hi," she said, her voice rough from lack of use.

"Hey," Chloe said, gently pushing a lock of brown hair behind her ear. "How are you feeling?"

"I don't want to alarm you," she said with a straight face. "But I think someone took a drill to my pelvic bone."

"You're insufferable," Chloe teased. "Is this really the time to joke?"

"It's always the time to joke," Bella responded. "I'm fine, Mom."

"You look like you're in pain."

"I'm achy. But it's not that bad," she promised, using her own definition for what was bad and what wasn't. Chloe pushed the nurse call button anyway. A woman appeared less than two minutes later, a bright smile on her face.

"Hello, Bella. I'm Kathy. I'll be your nurse today. Welcome back. How are you feeling?"

"I'm f-"

"She's in pain," Chloe told the nurse, interrupting her daughter.

"My lower back is achy - and my sides. But it's really not that bad."

"On a scale of 1 to 10 - one being barely noticeable and 10 being bad enough that you can't see straight. Where would you put it?"

"6?" Bella suggested. The nurse looked at Chloe.

"What do you think, Mom? 6? Or higher?"

"She's an under-estimator," Chloe responded. "I'd go a little higher."

"Alright," the nurse said with a smile. "The doctor left you pain medication - so I'll bring that in. You let me know in another fifteen minutes if it doesn't kick in." Bella nodded.

Luckily, Beca didn't know that Bella was in pain – and never would. The most difficult part of the whole procedure was that Beca was in isolation for a week following. Her immune system needed time to build itself, so she was not allowed near anyone who might be sick or carrying anything. To minimize contamination, they were allowed to choose two people who were allowed in to see her for one hour, twice each day. Chloe and Jesse were those two people and they had to wear silly yellow gowns, booties, and hair coverings – which made Beca laugh uncontrollably the first time she saw them.

"I'm glad you're amused," Jesse responded, sitting in a chair near her bed. "How are you feeling?"

Beca nodded. "Not like I was the other night. Not like I'm – well, you know…"

"That is good news. Feeling like you're not – you know – is a step in the right direction."

"I miss the girls," she admitted. "And Chloe. It's not the same – only getting to see people twice a day. It sort of sucks actually. But I don't want to waste our time talking about that. How are you? How's the family?"

"I'm good," Jesse said with nod. "My best friend almost died a few days ago – but she's alive. So we're good." Beca smiled. "And, you know, I might have just been offered the job of music director for a new film by Felix Van Groeningen."

"What?" Beca asked, her smile growing. "Jesse, that's awesome!"

"Yeah, I'm pretty excited," he agreed. They spent their hour together talking about the film – Jesse trying out music ideas on Beca and her giving him a hard time about every suggestion. Once Beca was out of isolation, Chloe brought the girls – and dinner from a nearby restaurant. Hospital food was not something any of them enjoyed – and it was hard enough getting most her brood to eat.

Dahlia sat next to Beca, who was fully dressed and sitting up in bed. Bella sat in a chair next to her. Poppy and Vera sat at the end of the bed and Chloe sat in the other chair in the room, on Beca's other side.

"You girls need to get back to school," Beca said, after they had mostly finished their food. All of the girls looked up at her, not sure what to say. Certainly, they knew they were missing classes – but that hardly seemed important after almost losing their mother.

Chloe had been mulling the situation over in her own mind, as had each of the girls. They had only attended a few weeks of the spring semester before they'd been pulled out to go home. Their classes had gone on without them – it was almost time for midterms.

"We can make up some of the classes in the summer," Poppy pointed out. "They'll transfer from UCLA."

"No," Beca responded. "I'm doing better – I'm on the mend – you girls need to get back to your own lives." There had been no sign of cancer cells since the last blast of chemotherapy. It was too soon so say she was in remission, but things looked good. No matter how much they argued, Beca had made up her mind. Two days later, while she was still in the hospital, the three teens had packed up their things and were being driven to the airport by Jesse.

"Your mom's going to be fine," he told the silent group.

"We know," Poppy responded from the passenger seat. "It's just hard, going back. With what almost happened – " Her voice faded away; they didn't really need to talk about it. They had all been there.

Emily had already been back in Georgia for two weeks – she hadn't been able to stay away from her kids or work for more than a few days. Once Beca was in the clear, she had headed home. She was waiting at the Atlanta airport for the three girls and hugged them.

"How was the flight?" She asked, taking one of Vera's carry-on bags and slinging it over her own shoulder.

"Not bad," Poppy answered. "How's Uncle Benji? And Grace and Jake?"

"Good," Emily told them. "At work and school – where do you girls want to go – my house –or the dorms?"

"We'd better go back to the dorm," Bella told her. "I really hope we didn't leave anything that could spoil in the fridge."

"This is the first time you thought about that?" Poppy asked. "We could have had someone check – "

"I was a little preoccupied," Bella shot back. They weren't exactly angry at each other, but they both remained quiet for the duration of the ride. Emily dropped them off at their dorms and she and Vera helped them inside with their bags. The dorm room was fine – if pretty messy. There was nothing spoiling in the fridge – everything smelled fine. Once their bags were deposited, Emily hugged them both tightly and made them promise to come to dinner on Sunday night – if not before then. They agreed – hugged Vera – and watched the two leave.

That Monday, none of them went to class. But Tuesday, bright and early, Bella woke to get ready for her British Literature course. Her professor – who had received word from her academic advisor about what was going on – smiled politely and welcomed her back. Bella quirked her lips up into as much a smile as she could manage and took her seat. She felt sick by that afternoon. Three classes – and she was desperately behind in all of them. The fact that both of her sisters were probably facing the same dilemma did not make her feel better.

Bella and Poppy weren't quite sure if they should head to Bellas' practice or not. They had left with no warning – and neither one of them had spoken much to Camille. Bella had video chatted and texted with Alexis throughout the debacle – but they had never spoken about what was going on in Georgia. So they were hesitant as they walked into the practice hall, both wondering if they might be kicked back out again. Instead, they were stunned to find the other girls smiling brightly and welcoming them back. Camille's smile was not bright – but she politely walked up to both girls and asked how their mother was doing.

"Better," Bella responded. "Thank you. We know that we're behind – you don't have to use us in the set for the semi-finals if you've already – "

"You're not getting out if it that easily," Camille responded. "But I do expect you to take whatever extra time is needed to learn the new songs and routines." That was the end of the conversation. The choreography had been completed with room for them both – so they spent the afternoon trying desperately to keep up. It was much more exciting though, than the despair Bell felt at being behind in classes. This seemed surmountable.

At the end of practice, she was worn out. They hadn't really done much in the past few weeks but sit in waiting rooms or around the house – and she knew she was out of shape. She was drinking the third water bottle of the practice when Alexis walked over and sat down next to her. When Bella finished, she recapped the bottle and dropped it into her bag.

"How are you?"

"A lot better than the alternative would have left me," Bella responded. "She's going to be okay – and that's pretty amazing. It got really scary there for a few days."

"I'm glad she's going to be alright."

"How are you?" Bella asked. "You never say. We spoke a few times – and texted – and you always changed the subject."

Alexis rolled her eyes and smiled. "My problems seem sort of lame compared to what you guys are going through."

"There's not a score sheet," Bella told her. "Seriously – how are you?" Before Alexis could answer – Poppy appeared behind them, her usual wide smile in place.

"I'm heading to dinner with Aria – do you guys want to come with us?"

Alexis and Bella exchanged one glance and had agreed. "No," Bella told her. "We're going off campus to grab something."

"Well, make sure you actually eat something," Poppy responded. "I know Mama is going to start grilling me about it again as soon as she starts feeling a little better."

"I always eat," Bella responded. "Mind your own business." Poppy smiled and left. Bella sighed and sat back in her chair, staring up at the ceiling.

"You lost weight," Alexis told her, not in a voice that accussed – it was merely a bit of information that she was sharing.

"It got kind of scary," Bella reminded her. "It's fine – My appetite is back. Mostly. Where do you want to go?"

"I need to shower first," Alexis told her. "Then maybe the Grille?" Bella nodded.

They split up for the next half an hour or so to shower and change. Bella was finishing pulling her damp hair into braids that circled her head when Alexis appeared at her door. They walked together to the Grille – a sit-down restaurant a few blocks from campus that was a bit nicer than the cafeteria – and certainly offered more privacy. As soon as their food was ordered, Bella picked up the conversation that her friend – she knew – was hoping she had forgotten.

"So, how are you – really?"

"I'm okay," Alexis answered, nodding. She sipped from her glass of water and studied the painting on the wall next to them – it was a copy of some famous water scene. Bella was silent – she was not taking that lame wording as an answer. "It's been kind of hard," she admitted. "I never admitted before – not out loud at least – that I was gay."

"You've never dated anyone?"

"I have – only a few people," Alexis answered. "But people do that in college. I've dated guys and girls. Not many – and none very seriously. But I had never really admitted what I knew I felt – until my parents pushed me. I miss them. I mean, it's not like we got along that well. But it was always nice to know that they were there, you know? I mean, your family has to help if you need it. I feel a little without a mooring – knowing that they aren't a phone call away. At least, not for me."

Bella shook her head. "I'm so sorry. I just can't imagine – "

"Your parents don't seem like they would give up on you for anything," Alexis responded, not at all jealous – just happy for her friend.

"They're pretty amazing," she answered. She paused. "Have you tried calling your parents? I know you said you might."

"I tried a few times – and they didn't call back. Your Aunt Stacie gave me some advice – and pretty much told me that I should stop trying for a while. That I was only upsetting myself. It has been a little easier, since I stopped trying. They can't ignore me if I'm ignoring them."

Bella smiled sympathetically. "Aunt Stacie is pretty smart about stuff like that. She's good with people. I'm glad she's been able to help. She's been so stressed lately with Mama – I hope you were still able to talk to her – "

Alexis wasn't sure how to phrase the fact that she spoke to Stacie almost daily. She could hear the older woman's fatigue – but she called every day at some point. They had missed a few days when Alexis had told her about a busy schedule. They had also missed the days that Beca had been hanging onto life in the ICU. Otherwise, they spoke frequently. Alexis was thankful – because sometimes she felt like she had no one to talk to. The counselor she had found at the university was nice enough, but she was a little too unrealistic for Alexis' taste. She didn't think her parents would respond to a request that they go to group therapy – or on a retreat. And Camille was sympathetic – but she had no idea what her best friend was going through. She still had a safety net in place – she still had parents who loved her unconditionally.

"She still stayed in touch. I told her not to worry about me – but I don't think she listens to other people very often."

"She listens." Bella responded with a smirk. "She just hears what you mean, instead of what you say. She's always been really good at that. Mama too."

They remained together in quiet company for the rest of the evening, finishing several cups of herbal tea as they caught up with one another, discussed the Bellas, and simply reconnected. Bella felt lighter as she walked back to her dorm – not knowing that Alexis was feeling similarly as she returned to the Bella House.

In California, Beca was tired of being in bed. With every tiny bit of energy that returned to her, she grew that much antsier. She grumbled as Chloe walked around her hospital room, straightening things. "Can you please bring my laptop?"

"No," Chloe told her again. "You're not supposed to be working – you're supposed to be resting. And the minute I bring that in – you won't be." Beca huffed and lay back against her pillows.

"I'm bored."

"I'm just glad you're well enough to be bored," Chloe responded. "Read a book – watch television. Listen to music. But you are not making any." Beca glared. Her disposition brightened when the door opened and revealed Dahlia, appearing before them in her school uniform. Cassie waved from the doorway and then left to give them privacy.

Beca smiled brightly and held out her arms. Dahlia dropped her book bag inside the door and crawled up onto the bed, hugging Beca. "Hi, Mama," she said.

"Hi, pretty girl," Beca responded. "How was your day?"

"It was good. Mrs. Oliver taught us…" Dahlia prattled on about her school day for long periods of time, giving Beca something happy to focus on. She then pulled out the book they were reading and held it so that they could take turns reading pages. Chloe joined them for that until it was time for Dahlia to go home and eat dinner.

She was not the best at being separated from Beca – she had been inconsolable even after the older woman had begun to recover. She could not forget that she'd been made to say goodbye to this woman. But with many reassurances, hugs, and promises – Dahlia eventually agreed to leave with Cassie.

Beca ate her dinner and then Chloe sat next to her on the bed, curling up next to her. She would go home that night to be with Dahlia – as she knew she should be. But first, she would hold her wife and revel in the fact that she was still there – something that, for a few days at least, had seemed almost impossible.

I feel like this chapter was a bit disjointed. I've been working on it for a long time and I still feel like it needs work – but I didn't want to make you guys wait any longer. The last chapter had a type of cliffhanger that I don't usually have in my stories and I felt badly for leaving you hanging too long.

Thanks so much for reading – please review!