Gillian Kearney Fan, thank you for your review. It is a very difficult time for Cal - and he doesn't know half of what's been going on!
beckyboogle, I'm really glad you like Ethan's caring side - I love a bit of caring Ethan and vulnerable Cal! Thank you for your review.
Tato Potato, thank you for your review. I don't suppose Ethan really wanted to share his bed with his drunk brother, but he is a kind, lovely man!
Tanith Panic, Cal says he's sorry for wiping his nose on his sleeve, but he was too depressed to move and he didn't want to use his hand. I had a feeling Cal would be able to justify his behaviour towards women in some way! Thank you for your review.
Ethan was waiting for Cal when he arrived in the staff room. "Shall we go to the pub then?"
Cal groaned. His head was still aching and a lecture from Connie on the subject of concentration hadn't helped matters. "I'm never drinking again."
Ethan looked slightly concerned. "Well, I have heard you say that before but not usually after midday."
"I just want to get drunk," said Cal.
"Okay. Right. I really don't think that's a good idea," said Ethan. "But we can go and have a quick drink if you want to."
"No, I don't want to drink anything," said Cal.
Ethan seemed half-worried, half-frustrated. "If I'm going to help you, Cal, you really need to work out what you want."
Cal sighed. "I wish I knew that, Ethan. There are some things I know I want. But with some things, I change my mind every day."
"Or every minute," murmured Ethan.
"What?" Cal was tired and confused. It didn't help matters when Ethan didn't talk sense.
"It doesn't matter. Come on: let's go home," said Ethan. "I'll drive."
Cal didn't argue. He sat slumped against the window, feeling exhausted, miserable and still not completely well. He wondered for a moment if he was depressed, but it didn't seem likely that he'd become depressed now. He'd been devastated when Taylor had left him; very low the first time he'd started to doubt himself, but everything was so much better now. He was studying to be a consultant. He was…
Cal realised he couldn't think of anything else that was good. Even the fact he was training to be a consultant was a mixed blessing. It wasn't as though he'd actually passed the exam. He didn't think he had much hope of passing it, though Ethan thought he'd be fine.
"Cal? We're here," said Ethan.
Cal got out and he and Ethan walked upstairs to the flat in silence.
"Shall I make tea?" said Ethan.
Cal shrugged and threw himself down on the sofa. He sat, staring off into the distance, until Ethan returned with tea.
"Okay," said Ethan. "Let's start with the things you know you want."
"Someone to love me," said Cal. He looked at Ethan with a small amount of hope that he might say the words, but he didn't – and he needed more than a brother's love anyway. "Someone for me to love."
"So, a girlfriend?" said Ethan. "As opposed to a one-night stand?"
Cal considered. "No, I don't really want a girlfriend. I want a partner. A wife. Someone to share my life with."
"Is it… is it just a wife you want?" said Ethan, an odd note in his voice.
Cal stared at him. "Of course I just want a wife! There won't be any bits on the side, Ethan. Not when I'm married. It'll just be me and her. No-one else."
"I was actually thinking more of children," said Ethan. "Would you like children?"
"No, not now, Ethan!" Cal didn't bother to hide his horror. "In the future, yes. Definitely. It would be nice to have a kid. But not till we'd been together for a while. I'm not ready for kids, Ethan. I'm only just ready to start looking for a relationship. It's much too early for kids."
Ethan spoke without looking at Cal. "Kids don't always wait till you're ready, you know."
"They do if you're careful enough," said Cal. "I'm always careful. And I don't have any kids, do I?"
"Unless the mothers haven't told you about them," said Ethan. "Because they think you won't be interested. Or because they don't know how to contact you."
Cal shrugged. "All the girls know I'm called Cal and I work at the ED. I wouldn't leave out an impressive detail like that. You'd think they'd want my money if nothing else."
Ethan stood up. "Well, I've obviously helped quite a lot. You seem back to your old self already."
"What?" Cal stared at him, confused and hurt. He raised his voice as Ethan walked away from him. "No, I'm not back to my old self! I'm a different person. That's why we're having this conversation!"
For a while, he really thought Ethan wasn't going to come back. Cal felt upset, not to mention confused. He didn't know what he'd done to upset Ethan so much. He could understand if Ethan wasn't happy about the way he treated girls – or the way he used to treat girls – but it wasn't as though this was news to Ethan. Cal had been doing it for years.
"Okay." Ethan sighed and sat down again. "I'm sorry. It's... it's good that you give the girls enough information for them to contact you if necessary."
"No, Ethan, that's what I used to do!" said Cal. "I've changed. I hardly ever do it now. And when I do, it's usually only by accident because I've drunk too much. It's not something I want to do."
Ethan nodded slowly. "So, you don't want one-night stands."
"No, I don't!" said Cal. "But I don't really know how to start things off apart from by taking her to bed. So I take her to bed."
A smile was tugging at the corner of Ethan's mouth. "So, you're asking me what you should do instead? You're asking me for advice on how to talk to women?"
Cal hesitated. "Um… well... yes. But at least you've had a proper relationship. I've only had a relationship with a con artist."
"Well, I've only had a relationship with someone who was only going out with me to impress her dad," countered Ethan.
They looked at each other then began to laugh. Cal didn't think he'd laughed for a long time. It certainly wasn't very often that he laughed with Ethan.
"But I've had a lot more one-night stands than you," said Cal.
"Infinitely more," said Ethan.
Cal frowned. "Though I might not have has as many as I think. I remember waking up in lots of different places, but I can't always remember what happened the night before. I might just have gone to sleep for all I know."
Ethan gave a reluctant smile. "I'll spare you any comment on that. But as a method of finding the perfect girl, picking someone up in a pub is obviously not working. So you need to meet girls another way. Do any of your friends know any girls they could introduce to you?"
"What friends?" said Cal miserably.
"Well, you know. Max, Lofty, Robyn…"
"I'm just a drinking companion to them," said Cal.
Ethan looked startled. "No, I'm sure that's not true. Why would you say that?"
Cal told him about seeing them laughing together and feeling unable to join their conversation. "And they never talk to me about anything serious. They go to each other and leave me out of it."
"I'm really sorry to hear that, Cal," said Ethan gently. "But I'm sure, if you went to Lofty or Robyn, they would do whatever they could to help you. Max is understandably more concerned with his own problems at present, but I'm sure Lofty and Robyn would want to help."
"They probably would," said Cal. "But the thing about Lofty and Robyn is they would help anyone who asked." He sighed. "It's no good, Ethan. I have no friends."
Ethan looked like he was trying to think. "Have you thought about joining a dating site?"
"No way!" said Cal. "I'm not that desperate yet. I don't think. Besides, you can't tell what a person's really like online."
"In my experience, you can get to know someone a lot better online," said Ethan. "I say things online that I'd never dare say in person."
Cal was surprised to feel a spark of interest. "Oh, yeah? Like what?"
"Nothing that would interest you," said Ethan quickly, turning slightly pink. "And nothing that's relevant to your current problem. Okay, if you really have no friends, then you'll have to make some. How about, next time the Blues are playing, we go down to the pub and watch the match there? I'm sure there will be a lot of fans watching – and not necessarily just male fans."
"What: you want to go with me?" Cal said doubtfully.
A hurt look came into Ethan's eyes. "Are you worried I might cramp your style?"
That was exactly what Cal was worried about, but he didn't want to hurt his brother's feelings after he'd tried so hard to help him. Besides, Cal didn't want to go to the pub on his own. That would make him seem like even more of a loser than if he went with Ethan. "No. No, of course not."
Ethan smiled, but a bit sadly. "It's okay. I don't have to go with you."
"No, I want you to go with me!" said Cal. "We'll have a great time. I think making friends would be good for you too."
"Oh… well… okay," said Ethan. He looked pleased. "If that's what you really want."
"It is what I want," said Cal.
To his surprise, he found it was true.