"Jasper I can't swallow these tablets!" I coughed as the tablet I'd spent the last few minutes trying to swallow popped out my mouth into my hand.

"Why don't we try breaking them in half…" He went to get the tablet out my hand.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you"

"Oh yeah, Alice spit" He laughed.

Even though it hurt like hell I managed to swallow the two tablets broken in half. That meant four swallows. I swear I could taste blood in the back of my throat like the rough broken edges of the tablets had cut and scratched the back of my throat.

I lay back onto the pillows of Jaspers bed. Such a comfy bed…

"Alice you know you'll be late meeting Jacob and Seth if we don't get a move on…"

"Well you know, now I'm here in your darn comfy bed with you for company I don't know if I really want to go" I thought about it "Mhmm, I'll phone them now"

It didn't take more than an extension of the truth to convince Jacob and Seth that I was far too ill to travel all the way to La Push. I just said I couldn't stop getting sick and didn't want to hurl on Jaspers leather interior.

"So have those tablets worked?" Jasper asked concerned as all I'd done since hanging up with curl up and close my eyes.

"Yeah I think they have, I'm just trying not to move so that if they haven't I won't know about it" He chuckled and stroked my hair.

"So when are your parents coming back from their holiday?" I most definitely couldn't still be here when they came back. I didn't want to meet them yet.

"Wednesday" He paused "But they stay longer sometimes" His voice didn't sound too happy.

I turned over and looked at him.

"And you're ok with being home alone?" I asked while playing with his free hand that rested on the space between us.

"I'm not bothered really, I mean, well I quite like having the house to myself" I felt my neck almost snap up so I was looking him right in the eyes.

"And why do you like being at home on your own?" I asked, I was asking because I liked being home on my own too and it would be interesting to see if it was for the same reasons.

"I just feel alone but in a good way, you know what I mean?" He asked.

"I know exactly what you mean" I said chewing my lip "I get scared you know"

"Of what?" I chewed my lip abit more not sure if I would regret having what would turn into a heart to heart with him.

"I get scared that I'll start to be alone more than I'm with people and socialising. Then I get scared that I'll suddenly become far too alone and then-"I looked up at him "Then I'll be just alone and I won't like it" My lip trembled so I chewed it some more.

"Come here" He said wrapping his arms round me "You're a little doll you know"

I looked at him questionably.

"You're so tiny, like a doll but not a rag doll or a plastic doll. Your just like a china doll, gorgeous but fragile" I knew what he meant, I knew exactly what he meant. It was just a shame I couldn't see it like that myself.

I lay my head on his chest as he played with my hair again.

"I know I haven't known you long but, mhmm I don't know it feels like I've known you ages" I said thinking and talking at the same time.

"I know what you mean" He said, it sounded like he was doing the same as me.

"And that Jasper dear is one of the reasons I think you're so lovely" He chuckled.

"You are actually a little doll aren't you?" I smiled and shook my head.

"My head isn't hollow" I pointed out.

"You know what I meant" He laughed.

"Mhmm I do know what you meant"

"Your also far my complicated then you seem you know" He said as he tightened his grip around me, it didn't hurt at all it was tight but gentle. I felt so safe.

It reminded me of when I was a little girl and my dad use to hold my hand, this was back in the days before he was a swinger and when he him and my mother still showed me lots of love and attention.

It was when I still called my dad daddy and hated saying dad because it's what older kids would say, grown up kids.

When we walked and went shopping he use to hold my hand and as I started to get more insecure and they started paying me less attention I use to make him hold my hand tighter because it took a lot more effort to make me feel safe.

I will never forget the day when I asked him to hold my hand tighter and say "I'm not holding your hand tighter so I can either hold your hand like normal or not at all" The memory hurt, it was probably the first of many memories I have of being pushed away from them, my parents, my mummy and daddy.

That particular memory had me blinking back tears as I explained it to Jasper.

"Well, I'll always hold you as tight as you need me too" He gave me a warm smile "Even if it feels like hugging a bag of bones" I smiled back at him.

"You know what Jasper"

"What?" He titled his head.

"I'm most definitely sure I love you"

"That's good because I most definitely love you too"

Fwaha, cheese right?

Well cheese or no cheese it's what you're getting.

Please review tell me what you think, the memory? Not going to La Push? JUST TELL ME IN A REVIEW YOU LITTLE DARLINGS.