Disclaimer: I do not own Big Valley or any of its characters nor am I making any money. This is just for fun.

A/N Thank you so much for your feedback. And now for the conclusion...

If Tomorrow Never Comes

Chapter Fourteen

The last week had been rather tense for the Barkley family. Heath's health had, had its ups and downs over the last few days but thankfully he was now well and truly on the mend. He was expected to make a full recovery. Victoria who was the last of the family to be cleared to finally see Heath sat next to Heath's bed. She sat back in her chair as she watched her son sleep. She smiled at him and for the first time since this whole thing started, she was able to feel a little at ease. Everyone was either over their sickness or in Heath's case would be soon. It really amazed her to think of what Heath had done up at that cabin. She knew without a doubt that if Heath had not been there she and perhaps even Nick would be dead right now. She only wished it had not cost Heath so much to do all that. It pained her greatly to think of all he had suffered in order to get them back home safely.

Victoria was pulled out of her thoughts when Heath began to moan and move about in the bed as if in the midst of a bad dream. Victoria got up from her chair and gently tried to wake the distraught blond. "Heath dear, wake up. It's ok it's only a dream. Come on now honey wake up," Victoria coached soothingly. Heath reacted to her voice but did not open his eyes, "Mama?" he called out softly. Victoria smoothed the hair back from his face and replied, "Yes Heath it's Mother. Now please wake up." Heath immediately opened his eyes but they were still blurry and unfocused from sleep. He blinked a few times and looked at Victoria still not quite in focus. "Mama?" She smiled at him and lovingly brushed her hand over the side of his face. Heath's eyes finally seem to focus and oh so subtly jerk away from her touch. "Oh. mother." His voice flat.

Victoria slowly pulled back her hand utterly crushed by Heath's reaction to her. It wasn't so much that he had pulled away from her touch for she could easily dismiss that as being surprised by how close she was standing over him. And it wasn't even the fact that he had clearly been calling for Leah, for he had done that many times before when he was ill or hurt. No, it was that for the first time upon waking up and realizing it was her and not Leah, he reacted with disappointment. "Heath?" her tone making it clear she was asking what was wrong. Heath smiled at her his expression a bit stained. "Mother its so good to see you are feeling better." Victoria continued to look at him with hurt and confusion marring her features. "Heath?" she questioned again in that same tone of voice. And once again Heath completely ignored it. "How are the rest of the family?" Victoria frowned, unhappy that he was not talking about what just happened. She decided to answer Heath's question even though she knew full well he already knew the answer.

Victoria sat with Heath for the next two hour. After Victoria gave up trying to find out why Heath had reacted the way he had Heath relaxed and they had a pleasant visit with one another. Heath was now once again sleeping Victoria pulled his covers up over him and kissed her son on the cheek. She stood and determinedly strode out of Heath's room she knew exactly who to go to, to get the answers Heath refused to give her.

Victoria walked into the den and saw Audra and Gene playing cards while Nick and Jarrod stood by the pool table though neither seemed to be playing. Jarrod was the first to notice her standing there in the doorway. "Mother, how is Heath doing?" Victoria briefly glanced at her oldest before zeroing in on Audra. "That is something I would like to know myself." Audra's wide-eyed expression at hearing her mother gave her away. Victoria walked into the room and stopped a few feet away from her daughter. "I know you know what is going on with Heath. He has been distant with me since we got back from the cabin and when he woke up not more than two hours ago he was less than pleased to see me there. Now I want to know why." Audra's eyes darted around the room as if trying to find an escape, while Gene just looked confused. Nick seemed to understand what his mother was talking about and would like to know what was going on as well. Jarrod, on the other hand, didn't seem fazed in the least by her accusations which made her suspect that he already knew the answer. She again brought her attention back to her daughter. "Audra?" Victoria said expectantly.

Instead of Audra, it was Jarrod who spoke up. "Mother perhaps Heath was just a bit disoriented and was surprised to see you there." Victoria looked at Jarrod more than a little angry. "Jarrod, I am not so old or so feeble-minded as to not see that there is something wrong with Heath. Nor am I stupid enough not to realize that it has something to do with me. So don't patronize me, Jarrod. Audra, I asked you a question, and I want an answer and I want it now." Audra looked up at her mother pleading her eyes filled with unshed tears. "Please, Mother don't ask me this. Please, just...just let it go."Audra begged. "No, Audra, I have to know. Why is Heath acting this way with me?" Victoria said knowing now more then ever she had to know what had gone on for her children to act this way.

Audra once more asked her to let it go but Victoria refused. Audra took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then began to tell her mother all that had gone on to make Heath act the way he was. Victoria was horrified and devastated to hear what she had done and worse what she had said. Seeing Nick and Gene's equally horrified faces made her feel that much worse. Victoria turned and walked out of the room ignoring her children's concerned voices calling after her. She was determined to try and rectify this devastating mess as soon as Heath woke up again. Until then she planned to sit at his bedside and pray that she would know just what to say to help heal the damage that she had done.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Heath stirred as he felt cool hands on his cheek and forehead. He slowly opened his eyes and saw his mother hovering over him he smiled at her weakly still remembering how he had acted the last time he woke up to find her there. He wished he had not done that, he had not meant to, he had just reacted. Her hurt and confuse face flashed before his mind's eye and he felt a rush of guilt wash over him once again. Heath looked up at Victoria's face and his heart sank. She knew.

"Heath?" She said softly. Heath gave her his full attention and remained silent. At seeing this Victoria sat down on the side of his bed. "Heath, I have noticed as of late that things have not been the same between us." Victoria paused for a moment or two hoping Heath would talk to her but when he continued to stay quiet she started to speak once more. "Audra has told me why that is. Heath, I can not begin to tell you first how sorry I am for, ever saying such things. And second that never have I ever felt that way about you." Heath's eyes were now downcast a million emotions swirling within him. He knew what she was saying was the truth but it still hurt and fed into his lingering insecurity as to his place in this family. In her heart.

Victoria placed her hand under his chin in order get him to look at her again. At seeing the pain, guilt, and uncertainty in Heath's eye, tears began to well up in her eyes. She grabbed his hand and clutched it between her hands. "Heath, I love you. And though you were not born to me I could not possibly love you more then if you were my own flesh and blood. Please know that. And please know that I would never knowingly hurt you. It is the last thing I would ever want." Heath gripped her hand back he heard the sincerity in her words."I know. Mother, I know," Heath assured because he did know. He knew it all along it just didn't seem to make the pain go away.

Victoria smiled and shook her head with tears running down his face. "But it still hurt you. No matter how much you know, that I didn't mean it, it still hurt you. I still hurt you." She knew just by looking at him that she had just hit the bull's eye. "I am so, so sorry Heath. Please forgive me." Heath looked her in the eye and smiled then nodded. "Mother, I'm sorry for the way I have acted. I never meant to hurt you." Victoria wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug. Heath returned the hug he knew that there would still be a lot of work to do to fully repair the damage. But he was ok with that, sometimes things had to be torn down in order to find the weak spots. That way they could be rebuilt stronger and better than ever.

I'm sorry about how short this is but I really wasn't sure what to do with this. So tell me what you think.