Chapter 14: I'm coming home.
The water was alive, it was warm and welcoming and everything that he wanted from it. Bill hadn't thought he missed it so much, but now he was back in it, all thoughts of going back to the ship forgotten.
Immediately Bill was at the bottom of the sea, practically rolling in the sand and feeling the seaweed between his fingers. He was finally home, and it felt great.
The ship was still floating above him, and Bill didn't even send it a passing glance.
He moved out from the shadow of the ship though, so that he would be able to feel the bright sun on his skin, and he wouldn't have to worry about them being able to send the anchor to land on him. Even though that was a long shot to begin with.
Where was he? Concentrating on the currents for just a moment told him where he was, which wasn't that far from where he had first been picked up. No wonder he immediately felt at home the second he was placed in the water that actually felt alive and wasn't dead. This water had life in it, it had soul in it.
He raked his tail through the sand to truly get the feeling of home against his skin before he raced off deeper into the sea.
A part of him did feel terrible for leaving Dipper at Gideon's mercy, but at the same time he was still hurt that Dipper had tried to stop him from taking that moment of freedom. Dipper had seen all of the abuse he had been through, why was it such a bad thing he was taking the chance to get free?
Dipper was probably just thinking of himself. Bill didn't blame him, as he was always looking out for himself first of all, but it still stung. How much did Dipper care about him, if he wasn't going to let Bill escape an abusive situation?
Yet at the same time, wasn't that what he was leaving Dipper in? He was leaving Dipper with a horrible situation, where Gideon would hurt the other if he didn't return, and if he didn't return with treasure on top of that.
Bill brushed all those thoughts aside as he pushed himself to swim faster. He was home, he was free. He didn't have to go back if he didn't want to, nothing could ever force him to return to that tub.
How wonderful it felt to have his entire body stretch out and not feel the confines of the tank hit against him. He could feel the sun against his skin through the water, and he could breathe in fresh water that wasn't tainted and stale. Bill was happy
Over the time of being with Dipper, well, more like being on Gideon's ship, he had spend a lot of time practicing his voice. At least now he could make small sounds, and though they hurt they were still produced and out there. It was more than he could hope to create on the pier.
It didn't matter that much, not when what really mattered was the fact that he was home, and it wasn't that far of a swim from his family.
Soon the ship was nothing more than a speck in the distance, and it was nothing more than a passing thought. They were just bad memories floating on the distance, and it was nothing to him. The scar would fade and soon enough he would be able to get his voice back. There wouldn't be a thing that would bother him, not when he had his family back, he was home, and he couldn't wait to be completely reunited with the sea.
It was barely a ten minute swim before he was back at the sunken ship that his family called home. It really wasn't that much of a swim, and he could just barely see the form of his older brother and sister there. They probably thought he was dead, but it didn't matter, because now he was back.
Bill was the youngest, with his older brother William surpassing him by ten years and his older sister, Ahna, surpassed him by four years. He had a mother and a father, and they meant more to him than anything else. To Bill, family was everything, and he was cherished among his family. Bill was the baby of the family, and he knew it.
His brother noticed him first, racing forward and embracing Bill while the blond fought back tears. William was like his brother, with a bright mop of blond hair, but with a bright red tail instead of the gold one Bill had.
Ahna looked confused for a moment as she saw her brothers embracing, but then it dawned on her that Bill was alive, and he was right there.
"Bill!" Ahna's own tail was an off shade of blue, looking closer to navy than it was close to blue. Bill pulled away from Will with a silent sob, getting closer to his sister and bringing Ahna in for a hug as well.
They were a strange group, but family was family, and it meant everything to sirens. Nothing would be able to tear Bill from his family now that he was reunited with them.
Will and Ahna pulled away from their new found brother, leading him down into the ship. Bill hoped his mother was there, having missed her most, but he wouldn't mind waiting until she came back. He had all the time in the world now.
"Where have you been, Bill?" Ahna latched onto his hand like she was known to do, refusing to let go.
Immediately, he started signing, only to get looks of confusion from his brother and sister at the gestures. He stopped his hands, trying to think of some way to explain what was happening when he couldn't even get the words out.
After a moment he let his head fall back, showing them the dark scar that had yet to fade. William stared at it for a moment, his face darkening, but Ahna outright gasped, hand going to cover her mouth. After a moment they both turned their gaze away from the shameful mark, their hatred of humans growing by the second.
"Does it hurt?" Will asked, as he lifted up the plank of wood that hid the entrance to their home.
Bill was so relieved that everything stayed just as he left it.
Shaking his head, Bill looked around the small area that his family spent the most time in. The little items that Bill had collected and used to mark the place as his own were no longer there, but Bill didn't blame them for that. They thought he was dead, but he couldn't help but feel horrible that they had tossed him away so easily. He hadn't been gone long, had he?
Bill couldn't dwell on it for long though, because he saw his mother, and pushed himself in front of his brother to greet her.
Any time he had been gone was suddenly erased, it was like he never left in the first place. Bill wished he could cry, because at least that would help with some of his pent up emotions.
"Bill!" His mother, an aging siren by the name of Morna, raced forward, almost knocking him into the wall when they finally hugged.
Bill didn't even mind, instantly hugging her back and doing his best to show through a hug how much he missed her.
"Where have you been? What have you been doing? Do you have any idea how much we worried over you?" She asked frantically, pulling back to place her hands on his shoulders.
Bill nodded to show he understood, placing his hands over hers. If only the gnawing guilt over what he was doing to Dipper would leave him be.
"He can't speak, mama." Will murmured, finally speaking up. "Look what the humans did to his neck. It's terrible."
Though Bill didn't want to show her; he tilted his head back to show his mother the dark scar across his neck. Bill himself had never seen it before, but he knew it was an ugly sight to see just based off his family's reactions. Sure enough, his mother's face was shocked, and yet her hands dropped from him like he was made of fire.
"You let them do that to you?" She asked in shock, and Bill backed up, frantically shaking his head.
How could he explain that they held him down and did the unthinkable? Removing his voice was like losing his arm, it was as much a part of him as everything else.
His mother's face hardened. "If you didn't, you would have died trying to get free and we would have an honorable son to mourn. You took the coward's way out and lived."
William and Ahna were staring at their mother in shock, unable to argue for Bill and Bill unable to argue for himself. He couldn't even explain that he was only good alive and stuck as an attraction to bring more humans by. Bill had no choices, and he knew they wouldn't bring him the sweet release of death.
He was a coward, because he couldn't do the brave thing and end his own life.
"He didn't… Mama I'm sure he just wanted to come home." Ahna spoke up, swimming just a bit closer. Yet one sharp look from her mother immediately had her back and silent.
"That doesn't matter. He knows how we feel about this. A siren who can't sing isn't a siren at all. He will be a burden for the family." Morna kept talking, starting to come forward and push Bill towards the exit. "I cannot kill you because you're my own son, but I can't have you here. You have brought shame on your family."
Bill let himself be pushed, the tears pricking at his eyes taken away by the ocean before he could notice he was crying.
Sirens and mermaids didn't cry, it was a notion lost on creatures who never broke the surface. Yet Bill knew what it was like to breathe air, and with that, came tears.
"Leave, before I change my mind." Morna turned her back on her son, and slowly, so did William and Ahna, as well as his father who Bill had completely forgotten about.
Unable to do anything else, Bill did just that, turning his tail and swimming as fast as he could. He felt his eyes sting not from the force of the water, but from the pain he felt of his family. There was so much he wanted to do, but now it felt so wrong, because there was no family there to share it with.
There was still one person who would be willing to spend time with him though.
Bill glanced back at the direction he came from, where the ship was still waiting for him. Gideon wouldn't like him to come back with nothing to show for it.
Bill glanced around, looking at the seafloor, knowing what he had to do next.