Disclaimer: Don't own.
A/N: Now attempting to write longer chapters, key word here being 'attempting'. I only just realised that it's a good idea to give a warning about this story, though if you're still reading, I guess it's pretty pointless: violence, innuendo, and language. If there are typos or things like that in this chapter it's because I'm on a time limit.
PS For those of you who didn't know, Veld was the leader of the Turks before Tseng.
Memoirs of a Genius
Day XIV
Incompetent helicopter pilot decided to take the long way over to Wutai: via the Gold Saucer and Rocket Town. Just what I need; two minutes of so much as having an ocular sense in the Gold Saucer is enough to make a man go blind. Not to mention that annoying music. Think I read in the paper about some woman committing suicide because of said music once.
Interesting.
…My brother had better well prepare a hell of a party- I mean, funeral, after all of this.
Not that I'm whining, or anything. It goes against my code of self-respect.
Which, for some reason, reminds me of me panicking just before I had to get on this stupid helicopter… I couldn't leave my pet project just like that.
I drained his Mako tank, the said, "Quick, put this on," handing him a long blonde wig before he could re-coordinate himself to his surroundings.
Never mind from where I have the wig, mmmkay? Let's just say that Lucrecia liked dress-up.
"…W-what?"
Again with his whiny questions.
"As a disguise!"
…Just for my justification, it was the best disguise I had on hand at the moment. Blame it on fear of discovery, or rather, fear of seeing Veld going into a jealous hissy fit of rage.
That Valentine sure gets around.
Vincent looked like he was about to go into a fit himself, but put the effeminate wig on anyway.
"Now, Professor, what is the use of disguising myself as a girl if I am floating in a Mako tank stark naked?"
For once, he had outstripped me. Stop, I know what you're thinking; I meant outstripped as in mentally. Gah.
"Product of a sex change operation?" I suggested. "Whatever, it's not as if anyone cares about you, so get back in there, you useless excuse of a… whatever."
"What about the 'S' word? Mako hurts…"
"…I am afraid there is no time for that now… and I know Mako hurts."
"…"
"…"
"…I meant sedation…"
"...Oh. Of course, but just to shut you the hell up."
YOU SEE? You see what pure idiocy I have to put up with all day? It doesn't help that he's getting incredibly passive-aggressive, and even whinier than usual. Not to mention pathetic- wait, even more pathetic.
And I still don't understand why everyone is in lust with that man. Granted, he's fun to, ahem, abuse, but-
Oh snap. Did I just admit that?
…Just… forget it, all right?
Right.
OoOoOoOoOo
Now, I am a man who has already achieved much, and who, despite being relatively young, feels old. Therefore it is logical to conclude that not many things scare me, and those of them that do, don't actually bother me that much, because I somehow manage to scare them equally as much. You know, action and reaction, and all of that.
The Gold Saucer is one of those things.
So when the pilot informed me that we would have to stop at the Gold Saucer to refuel, and that it would save time by making the stop at Rocket Town superfluous, I lost what little colour I had…
I think the pilot just wanted to throw me off to make me stop ranting about Sephiroth to myself- not to pilot, because he's an inferior creature.
Just to note, I have an excuse to talk about Sephiroth, as parents do: he's my number one project. Surely it would be odd if I did not? How brilliant of me… now no one can be suspicious of paternal connection.
Must go. Being practically kicked off helicopter.
…Next test subject: Random Helicopter Pilot.
Hehehehe.
OoOoOoOoOo
Lucrecia would have been proud.
As I got off the helicopter, I spent five minutes trying not to have a seizure due to the crazy music, bright colours, and the sheer gaudiness of the place, when I suddenly recalled one of Lucrecia's philosophies:
"Take a deep breath, relax, and channel your energy into something productive. Inhale, exhale. Good. Achieve a sense of self-awareness. Tap into your id. Unleash your inner desires…"
Granted, she probably would have not wanted me to sneak up on a mascot, gag him, gather some children, and play a fun match of 'who-can-pistolwhip-the-chocobo-the-hardest-without-making-his-head-implode' before getting bored and letting the children take over the game, who looked like they liked it. I'm good with children. Besides, they're fun to scare.
Who knew that some crackpot philosophy from a book called 'Doctors on Top: a Full Guide to Anatomy' could actually turn out so well? Actually, not so surprising as I had combined it with the simple action-reaction equation. But then again, so did the book, but in significantly more disturbing variations.
Spent remaining two hours at the Gold Saucer scaring small children even more, shooting some of the speakerphones, and being hit on by a man who was either homosexual or who had only seen my hair, which is, admittedly, effeminate. SUE ME.
Aside from that small and, hehehe, painful mishap (it took twenty five whole minutes to clean the blood off), I stepped on the helicopter satisfied.
It's at times like these where I am grateful for being under the jurisdiction of Shinra. I simply do not want to think what would be done to me (because of my hair) down in that prison. I feel violated just thinking about it. Ugh.
OoOoOoOoOo
When we eventually landed in Wutai after ten hours- 1600 hours Midgar time but 1100 hours Wutai time, damn jet lag- I was greeted by absolutely nothing or nobody. Not even a 'welcome home' sign. Not that I was expecting one, but still, I haven't been here since I left for Midgar University.
Was v. pissed off and considered strangling Random Helicopter Pilot using my hair (which I am not developing an obsession for), but decided against it because I needed him to fly me back- and I need to do some Incompetent Brain studies.
Hmmm, maybe I will make it a live, drug-free surgery. I don't think anyone has ever monitored a live brain before. And I will get to see how the body processes pain first hand, not through some monitor which mixes up pain signals with pleasure signals. At least, that's what it did when I tested the equipment on myself.
With that cheerful thought in mind, I set off to my father's house, trying to ignore the children pointing at my back and remarking on 'the lady's pretty hair'.
The worst thing off this whole deal is, I can't 'get into character', so to say, on anyone because I will the have to endure lecture from father on sadomasochism which I just know will turn around into embarrassing discussion about BDSM.
….Excuse me, I was experiencing mental images.
At least Jenova is still giving me The Silent Treatment. Thank… someone.
OoOoOoOoOo
Well, everything as usual with my father. When I walked in, he was sitting at the table, smoking and drinking sake while watching some documentary about the Great War of 40 years ago.
"…You came here to celebrate, didn't you, boy?"
I didn't know what to say to that. Went through familiar loop of going through code of respect, scrapping it, and remembering that Father did not much care for Mother anyway as she left him 7 years ago for another couple. Yes, you read that right. Couple. Actually that is something I have never tried…
…but that is besides the point.
"Yes."
"Now listen, Victor, your generation is the epitome of the start of the deterioration of Wutai, ever since the Great War… no respect for elders…. blablabla… moral decay… blablabla… dying economy… blablabla… gradual Easternization…blabla…"
When he starts, he never stops. All his rants are useful for is reminding me to change gil to yen.
He didn't even look up from his sake and was still ranting as I went to the adjacent house that was my brother's.
I didn't even have a chance to knock on the door and the chaos began: his cat leapt on my head, some Shinobi with pathetic aim hit me in the back with a training dart, a nearby Pekinese dog decided to hump my leg, and a random little girl ran up to me and pulled on my hair.
And I didn't even knock on the door yet.
It was in this embarrassing predicament that I heard my brother yelling, "HEY, WHAT'S THAT NOISE I'M HEARIN'?"
"I DUNNO, MAY BE SOMEONE AT THE DOOR," came a woman's voice.
"WELL, GO ANSWER IT, HO!"
"WHY ME? YOU DO IT, IT'S PROBABLY YOUR PRETENTIOUS, LOOK-AT-ME-I'M-A-SCIENTIST-WORKING-FOR-SHINRA PONCE OF A BROTHER!"
More yelling. More agonizing seconds of me standing there, being violated by a child, a dog, and a cat all at once. Finally, I heard loud footsteps, doors slamming, and even more yelling.
At last, Thomas opened the door. He was wearing a cap over a bandana, a sports jacket and top, jeans and a lot of gold: in short, the typical North Corelian stereotype, which I do not understand as very few of them actually embarrass themselves like that. The only thing stopping him from looking like a complete idiot was his complete lack of androgyny. Lucky bastard.
He took one look at me, laughed, and said, "WELL, look who's getting some action ALREADY! Come in, my homie, it's good to see you, man!"
"Hmph, so I finally get to meet the Traitor," a snooty-looking, scantily clad, somewhat attractive woman said.
"That's my girlfriend Chekhov," he explained to me. "She already has two kids, one of which you've… met."
Ah, the hair-pulling beast.
"…Whatever."
See, that's why I have never come back here. I've already made myself a poor enough reputation, what with renouncing Leviathan and pursuing a career in science, but what really pissed them off was that I went to work in the East. Going to Wutai now was a decision I only made because I didn't want the Shinobi out for my blood. It's a wonder they didn't come for me earlier, actually.
Being perceptive for once in his life, my brother stopped and looked at me.
"Come out to the back. We need to talk."
"Fine."
So much for being perceptive. He didn't even ask me how my journey was, if I needed to rest, etc. But that hardly matters as I can stay up for a week without getting too tired. Unless jet-lag is involved. Like now.
So imagine my surprise, when in the backyard was a shooting range.
"There, you look like you need it," he said, handing me a handgun and taking one for himself.
Finally, a chance to experience the Jenova-cells-in-relation-to-projectile-accuracy theory. I've even had plenty of practice on my beloved dartboard.
"So," Thomas started as he aimed for his target, holding his gun horizontally. "What's up in Shinra?"
"Nothing much, the usual," I lied, watching as he barely missed the outer ring.
"And Lucrecia? Oh yeah, she left you…" he fired a couple more bullets and missed. Eventually, he lowered his arm and turned to me. "All BS aside, how about you? What's up with you, Vicky?"
Now, this is why I hate my name. Wondering for the umpteenth time why I had not commited fratricide yet, I just said, "The usual."
"Uh huh. You expect me to believe that? We hardly hear from you unless we call you, you get rich and married and broken up and stuph, and you call that normal?"
"Wait until you hear about the other things I call normal," I muttered.
"What?"
"I said, aim normally and then you might hit something."
At this, 'Tommy' started fidgeting for some reason. "Actually, there is something…Wutai… you might have heard some stuff at Shinra…"
"I've been away on a business trip for over a year, I'm quite outdated on Shinra's Wutain affairs," I said absently, examining the gun I was given and realizing tat it was the same make and model as Valentine's. Gah.
"Well, there's some fishy stuff happenin' over here."
"Like what," I said, bored. Having a paranoid older brother is no fun.
"Well, more people are being recruited to Shinobi training, more people working for munitions, and there are more Materia being manufactured and grown…"
"So what are you implying? War?"
"I dunno, man…"
"Look, it's nothing," I tried to reassure him, something I don't try often. "There's going to be a huge build up, an arms race, propaganda, secret armies and all that, but nobody's going to do anything for fear of losing the proletariats' trust."
He sighed. "…Whatever you say. But you're going to have to decide: come back, or help the enemy to fight us and forsake your country. But know this: I believe in Wutai. I will stay here, and screw the consequences. "
I thought about it, but only for a few moments, and even then it was something along the lines of, "w00t, our department's going to get a budget rise for making potentially lethal things." I didn't let myself think about my brother's naïve comment. In my opinion, patriotism is nothing but an excuse for cowards who need to depend on ideals to survive.
"Know what I really think?"
"What?"
In reply, I only aimed and fired at my target. When I ran out of ammo, I went back inside, smirking at my brother's cry of 'DOUBLE-YOU TEE EFF! THAT'S SOME BADASS STUPH!' as he examined the target and read the words the bullet-holes had formed in the paper.
'FUCK IT' was what it said.
It is so satisfying to suddenly be a good shot… And to be called 'bad ass'. I like that word. Hehehe.
Now, I must fight off my jet lag. Leave me alone.
A/N: Rant Alert!
Ok, to explain the East-West situation: in case you haven't guessed, I am outlining the FFVII universe's warfare using our own Terra's situation. There was a First War between Wutai and the East, which Wutai won, everyone gets PO'd and it gets all Cold War-like, and then there's the Shinra-Wutai war which we all know about. I think that way it gives Shinra more excuses to wage war on Wutai, because how stupid would they sound saying that they needed to fight to get materia? I think the people would buy into it more if Shinra said something about patriotism, national pride, etc. But that's just me.
Rant over. Please review!