Chapter 13: Vietnam All Over Again

Hey guys! It's Yoshi'snumber1friend here! And it's been a long while!

Yoshi: What do you mean? It's only been 3 days… or so.

Me: That's long for me.

Yoshi: Ah.

Maxwell: He's got a point.

Me: Thank you Maxwell.

Yoshi: Suck up.

Maxwell: What did you say?!?

Me: Guys, settle down or I'm getting you kicked out and replaced by Boshi and Flaxwell

Both: Who

Me: (Point to Boshi (look him up on Google) and Flaxwell, (Red hammer bro with a flax hammer).

Yoshi: Oh.

Me: Anyways, I don't own Dead Rising, Mario, or jokes referenced here, or else I'd be rich.

When we last left our heroes, they found out that Carlito had set bombs all over the place. So Yoshi disabled the bombs. But Brad got locked in with some zombies. Then Yoshi left him to his fate.

Yoshi: Doo Doo Doo Doo.

Jessie: Hey where's Brad?

Yoshi: Oh him, yeah he got left inside the tunnels. The zombies were getting him to watch Barney.

Jessie: WHAT??? Why would you leave him down there?

Yoshi: Relax, just how much damage can Barney do?

Jessie: A lot! Now get him back.

Yoshi: Ok geez.

So Yoshi went back down to the maintenance tunnels. He opened the door Brad was by. But Brad wasn't there.

Yoshi: Hello? Brad? Anyone in here? Hmm, looks like no one is here.

Just then Yoshi heard maniacal laughter coming from the tunnel behind him. Yoshi swiftly pivoted around and got ready to face whatever was coming.

Yoshi: Who's there? Who are you? Show yourself!

Just then the figure got closer and the laughing got louder. As the figure got closer, Yoshi got more scared, and more scared, until finally the figure was right on top of him.

Yoshi: Get off of me! Get off you monster, get you stinky, smelly, old… Brad?

Brad: HA HA HA HA HA HA! Let's play!

Yoshi: Um, no time for that, we have to get out of here.

Brad: There's always time to play! Let's sing a song!

Yoshi: Um, no thanks man. You're creeping me out, let's just go.

Brad: Ok we'll sing and walk! Hahahahahaha!

Yoshi: Ok fine.

So then Yoshi ended up having to put ear plugs in his ears. Because the song was horrible!

Brad: I love you! You love me!

Yoshi: You stink at the singing! (He sang this with the song.)

Brad: Aw, don't be such a spoil sport Yoshi!

Yoshi: (Sigh) this is going to be a long walk…

So after about 4 more songs they got back to the security room, where Jessie found a disturbing surprise.

Jessie: WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!?!?!?

Yoshi: Well, you were right, Barney can hurt you.

Brad: Clean up! Clean up! Everybody clean up!

Yoshi: Oh and he also refers to himself as bologna.

Jessie: Well, how will we get him back to normal?

Yoshi: Hold on, brb.

So Yoshi ran off for a second, and then came back with headphones, 52 feet tall speakers, and the CD called "Loudest Rock Songs of All Time".

Yoshi: Hey Bologna.

Brad: Yes?

Yoshi: I've got some cool songs for you to listen to.

Brad: OH JOY!

Yoshi: Now Just put these on.

Then Yoshi turned the speaker volume to the max, and played the song. And well, let just say the headphones didn't help, I'm also surprised that Brad's head didn't explode in the first 20 seconds.

Yoshi: Just have him listen to that and then quit it!

Jessie: WHAT???

Yoshi: I SAID! LET HIM LISTEN TO IT AND THEN QUIT IT!!!!

Jessie: NO! I DON'T WANT A CHEESEBURGER!!!

Yoshi: …Never mind. Maxwell, let's go.

So Maxwell and Yoshi just wandered around the mall for a few hours. When all of a sudden they heard…

??? : Take that you communists!

Maxwell: Communist? I thought communism was wiped out?

Yoshi: No Maxwell, until we find a way to make black hole generators, communism will never be wiped out.

Maxwell: How will that help?

Yoshi: Well you see Maxwell, if-

Maxwell: No no, I don't want another one of your bogus explanations about it, let's just go.

Yoshi: But you didn't even let me bring the Asians into this…

Then they went towards where the voice was coming from. Finally, they found a hardware store filled with beheaded zombie bodies.

Maxwell: This is very creepy.

Yoshi: Cool! It's a piñata shop!

???: I'm afraid not boy, those are the bodies of soldiers.

Maxwell: Yoshi, I think I just had an accident in my pants.

Yoshi: Me too.

???: Anyway, I'm sergeant Cliff, name and rank soldiers.

Maxwell: Um, Private Maxwell reporting for duty sir.

Yoshi: GRAND GENERAL YOSHI REPORTING FOR DUTY SIR!

Cliff: Good, hey wait a minute, grand general isn't a position. Wait, I know, you're Viet Kong!

Maxwell: PST! Yoshi! Who's Viet Kong?

Yoshi: Donkey Kong's cousin, but why would he want to kill him?

Cliff: That's enough living communists. We'll settle this the army way, first one to die loses!

Maxwell: Alright!

Yoshi: What the, Maxwell? I've never seen you so hyped up!

Maxwell: Well that's all changing Yoshi! So start the countdown.

Yoshi: Alright! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Start your engines!

Cliff and Maxwell: VVVRRRROOOOMMMMM!!!!

Yoshi: Ready, set, GO!

Then the racers sped off down the track, leaving Yoshi in the dust.

Maxwell: Alright Cliff, prepare to lose!

Cliff: No way, you'll lose first.

Maxwell: No you will!

Cliff: No you!

Yoshi: Guys, you might want to end this fight before the cars run you over.

Maxwell: Right!

So Maxwell and Cliff started fighting. Cliff swung his machete, but Maxwell ducked and drop kicked him. But since Cliff had a six pack, it only hurt Maxwell's feet. Then Cliff stepped on Maxwell's feet, and prepared to kill him. But Maxwell spit in his eye. So while Cliff was in pain Maxwell picked him up swung him around and threw him. Then Cliff saw a car coming, he stabbed the tire and then sent the car spinning. Maxwell saw it too late to dodge it! So he knew there was only one way out of this, Matrix style. Maxwell then leaped at the car, started running on top of the hood, jumped, then did a front flip and kicked Cliff right on the head.

Cliff: I, I think that am a hefty piece of real estate (faints).

Yoshi: Maxwell you did it!

Maxwell: Yes, I beat the boss. (Play the Paper Mario music where you get a star spirit.

Yoshi: Sweet! Now what?

Maxwell: Well, I don't know, I suppose I could go back and check on Brad.

Yoshi: Ok, I'll just mosey along.

So Yoshi "moseyed along", and eventually he saw a familiar figure.

Yoshi: What the? What's Kent doing here? And why is that guy tied up? Looks like I've got another mystery…

Me: Yay, we did it!

Yoshi: Sweet! We finished.

Maxwell: And this is the best chapter yet!

Me: So, you've got an extra helping of chappie there folks. So find out what the heck Kent is doing with that guy, and did Yoshi's 'musical therapy', work? Find out all this and more in, Chapter 14: Reporter Battles!