AU: Hello all, will try and get another chapter up tomorrow after this one but then I am away for a while. In light of developments at the end of the second season, my fic is going to continue that Nucky made the alternative choice. Please review I hope you enjoy this. Some big events coming up in this fic.

Chapter 13

Their last day together was a mixed bag of feelings, emotionally charged yet blighted by the inevitable end that was coming. Try as they might, Nell could not feel that overwhelming swell of desire that allowed herself to give up her body to Richard. They would kiss and caress for a while, he managing to push down the top half of her dress and lavish attention on her neck, breasts and stomach. But then at the moment it seemed to natural progress, Nell went cold all over. She had reached out and physically stopped his hand from stroking up her thigh, her love for him never dimming but some a shadow killed her desire and left only fear. Richard saw how something only she could see, a memory played over her eyes, an unhappy time that shut her off from him. She rolled onto her side away from him, but he was not expecting her to cry and instead he let her have her moment to compose. His body was on fire, these spoiled moments added to his frustration, not with her but with all who had formed her into this troubled soul. The body that carried him was constrained, tight and burning up and he had no outlet and it would take him a while for his mind to overcome all of it.

Would she speak? He hoped she wouldn't' say she was sorry for there was nothing to be sorry for, not really. He would not take her beyond where she was comfortable and happy however hard it became for him. Richard watched her get up and walk to the bathroom, closing the door, he remained on the bed. His eye closed and his hearing sharpened, he could not hear a sound coming from within the bathroom. Ten minutes turned to twenty and before long it was nearly an hour she had been in there. Then he heard the sound of the taps running and it gave him hope. Within a minute the door was unlocked and a look from her invited him in.

She had sat behind him in the water, washed him, towel dried him then led him naked (though she was dressed in her wrap) to the bed and stroked his scalp gently, lulling him into a comfortable, dozy haze. When he was sufficiently sidetracked she had edged herself down the bed and before he was aware she began kissing his length teasingly. His head darted up, though still somewhat hazy but his body immediately rushed with the repressed urges of earlier and he hardened under her touch. Richard wanted to protest, tell her she didn't have to, imagining she didn't really want to but she took him in her mouth before the words escaped his lips. His head crashed back onto the mattress, his eye screwed shut and his hands gripped at the bedclothes as the early waves of pleasure built and built with the rhythm she moved with. He fought with himself to keep his hips from bucking and somehow he sensed he should not touch her, he was barely able to look at her for he was too overwhelmed.

As Nell worked he realised she was not just merely going through the motions, that could be done simply enough, he knew that. But her hand joined her mouth and she alternated between slow teasing strokes and movements to hollowing her cheeks and taking him suddenly nearly causing him to plummet there and then. When his release came, he groaned deep and loud, it was as though something profound was being exorcised from his body but she was with him all the way. The haziness of bliss seemed to surround him as he came down from his high, his body shaking with the aftershocks of his release. When he realised she was near him he reached out his arms to try and engulf her but instead she pressed his head to her chest and wrapped her own arms around him, she sitting up as he lay on her. Nell turned her attentions to massaging his scalp again and she whispered softly.

"Go to sleep, my dear."

"Hmm. But." He murmured sleepily "So. Little time."

"I'm here, it's alright."

And that was the last thing he heard before he drifted off to sleep. Some hours later when he awoke he found her arms still wrapped loosely around him, she had shuffled down slightly and had also fallen asleep. A small movement from him woke her and they looked at one another, realising the sky was growing darker and that mean their final night was upon them. Nell left the bed first, walking to the bathroom and splashing her face with cold water to arrest the final fragments of drowsiness, she cupped another handful and drank whilst she looked at herself in the mirror. Richard watched her all this time, feeling himself at such a parallel to her.

"Shall we go for a walk?" She called then re-emerged and began to dress herself, Richard freshened his own face and did the same and before long with no other exchange passing between them they were stood at the door facing one another. Those deep eyes looked at him and something brave within him stepped forward and taking her waist in his hands he brought his half masked lips to hers. Her own arms slipped about his neck and they clung together in a gentle exchange for a short time. Then they went out into the night, together.

It was a cool, clear night and the stars glimmered in the thick dark blanket of sky above their heads. The pair of them walked arm in arm around the streets idly and finally came to the water edge a little further down from the harbour. Here, they both seemed finally able to speak.

"Tomorrow. Hmm. What. Will happen?"

"I will go back."

"Alec was. Hmm. Expecting this."

"He doesn't know how deeply it runs."

"Hmm. Then why. Are you going. Back?"

"What choice do I have? He has been so kind to me, he saved me in a way. And I do care about him."

In truth Richard didn't really understand, they loved one another so why could she just not return with him? He promised he would wait for her and he would.

"Hmm. I love you."

"I know, but he needs me."

"He. Hmm. Doesn't." Richard said bluntly, surprised at himself though his emotions ran high. She now did not look at him but over the dark water lapping at the banks. "Hmm. He is a. Good man. But he will. Expect more from. You."

"Why do you think I'm going back?" She said roundly, brushing the hair from her face. "I am damaged, I am made for a certain way of life. I realised that today."

Nell moved nearer to him, her face illuminated by the moon, she looked unworldly and elfin just like Elsa used to do.

"Hmm. I don't. Want to. Lose you. Again."

"You can't have me like this, Richard. I can live this way with others but I couldn't with you. It would kill you. Besides, there are promises I made, people that matter. I know it doesn't make any sense but you will see one day. Alec needs me and he stepped in when I needed someone, I cannot forget that."

"Then what. Hmm. Do you. Want me to. Do?"

"I don't have a right to ask anything of you, but we both knew after these five days it would be over. I wish it could be different but I am not the girl you fell in love with." She explained, the sadness evident in her voice. Richard looked at her, pained and sad himself but deep down he understood what she meant. He only wished she could believe that however she came to him, he would accept and love her anyway. But he respected her sense of loyalty to Alec, for he had done the same when Jimmy had plucked him from that hospital.

"I will. Hmm. Still need. To see you. I know. This is. The last time we. Can be free to speak. But I need. To see you. To make things. Better."

"I'm glad you said that." She said and she touched his cheek, feeling the coolness of his skin from the breeze. His eye closed and he pressed himself more into her touch and it seemed like she was draining all that she felt into him. "I love you very much, you know."

"Hmm. What do you. Think will. Happen?"

"I think I am going to be become one of the centrepieces of one of the biggest gatherings of the infamous. It will be a historic moment."

"Hmm. I will be. There. Jimmy still isn't. Cared for much. Nucky spared. Him but. He is not. The same. Alec is kind. To do. Business with him. Few will. Even after. All this time." Richard explained, pain evident in his voice at the decline of his friend.

"So you see we both have parts to play."

Neither seemed overjoyed at this prospect for it was the logic which divided them. As they stared out over the dark water Richard sought Nell's hand and he held it in his own. She came in a little and leaned on him, her other arm wrapping around his front.

"I wonder what our ends will be Richard." She said quietly. Richard imagined his would be with a bullet, it is how he had always imagined dying, but he didn't speak a word in response. Her words made him leave go of her hand and draw her into his side in an embrace, his head resting against hers. Whatever had occurred during these five days, they had been happy and he would remember that till the end of his life. One thing he was certain of, there would be no other man on earth who would love her as constantly and faithfully as he would, whatever happened. For where Richard Harrow pledged himself, Richard Harrow remained steadfast, for those pledges of loyalty were what kept him alive. So tomorrow he would rise and he would see the day through.