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I now have over 600 reviews!!!!! Thank you all so much for helping me reach this incredible feat!
This goes out to the ever ASTOUNDING QUEEN OF CLIFFHANGERS!!!!!! movieandbookgirl (can I promote her and her story enough? :P) for agreeing to update her story with the incentive that I would drop everything else I was working on and update as well when she did XD
And also to Sendmeonmyway for actually taking my advice and going over there to read her story Flight 2804. We were both all giggly that you did it and I was rather flattered as well, though hardly surprised that you enjoyed the story :)
Disclaimer:I do not own Twilight, though I do own 6 different orange blankets that I sleep with every night, 4 different orange hoodies of varying blinding powers, and this plot line (that is so cool, it MUST be orange as well :D)
Without further ado, please feel free to Read, Review, and Enjoy!
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EPOV:
My heart rate felt too fast to survive. I felt that surely I would have a heart attack before she could answer my convoluted attempt at discovering whether or not she and Jacob really were a couple... Can one die of anticipation?
"No paradise?" I had asked her. God, why did I have to stick with that cheesy metaphor? Because it seemed I became an idiot around Bella, that's why.
But she looked me in the eye, ignoring my stupidity as she said, "Nope. No trouble, and no paradise with Jacob to begin with."
I just about broke out into a jig at hearing her confirmation of the hope that had begun to creep up. Of course, I don't possess the knowledge of how to inact any jigs, so the thought was rather ridiculous; perhaps I should have said something like I was so excited that I wanted to play Beethoven's Fourth... I actually had the ability to do that, after all.
I really need to stop letting myself think, it seemed.
But Bella wasn't dating Jacob. She wasn't taken. She was single. I hadn't been acting like an asshole by unconsciously flirting with someone who was taken all this time.
And what perfect timing that I realized my true feelings for her in the same day that I also discovered she was available. The same day she came to my house for the first time... Oh God, I hope she likes our house.
To cover up my sudden nervousness, I gestured for her to walk in the house ahead of me and tried not to stare as I remembered the ardent love I declared for the Levi jean company when she first exited Rose's car in front of me. To distract myself, I placed my hand on the small of her back to guide her inside the house, pleased that she didn't seem to mind my intimate touch. My hand was on fire.
We walked in and I helped her out of her coat, hanging it up in the hall closet along with my own. I felt like I was doing something right when she smiled a breathtaking smile at me, a hint of a blush in her cheeks. She really was just too beautiful for her own good.
When we got to the living room, we discovered poor Jacob (yes, I could afford to be sympathetic to him now) being assaulted by Emmett's enthusiasm.
"JAKE!!!!!!" A hard smack was forced upon his shoulder. "We should TOTALLY give you a tour of the whole house!" then he was roughly pulled up from seat. "You only saw a little bit of it the last time you were here, right?" Emmett nearly wrenched his arm out of its socket as he pulls him away. "Come on!"
Poor kid...
But Jacob took it in stride and barely winced at all the abuse Emmett unknowingly put him through. Must have been nice to have some bulk on your person when dealing with that brother of mine. When Emmett clapped him on the back again I decided to save him.
"Ahem," I cleared my throat, announcing our presence. Our presence... Was I being too much of a girl by thinking how nice it sounded to describe Bella and I as one entity?
"OOOOOH! Bella!" Emmett exclaimed. "You need to come on a tour of the house, too! Come on!" And then he took her hand, guiding her away from me. It served me right for trying to help Jacob Black. I wouldn't make that mistake again. Bella looked back at me, amused at Emmett's antics. I supposed I shouldn't have been too mad at him if he caused her entertainment. I sighed.
Then I laughed as Emmett grabbed Jacob's hand as well and led them both down to the basement to begin his tour. Jacob was obviously uncomfortable with it but didn't complain aloud. Good boy. Emmett would make it worse for him if he didn't play along.
I leaned against the wall of the entrance way, listening to my dear brother shout to them as he showed them around the lowest level of the house for a few minutes, waiting impatiently for them to come back. It didn't take very long for Emmett to drag them back up the steps, Bella tripping a little, but Emmett helped her up all the while.
"Trade off! Al!" Alice ran forward, giggling at the little game, and ushered Jacob and Bella around the first floor. I followed behind this time, amused at the fact that Alice didn't point out "kitchen" or "dining room" like a normal person, but instead pointed out the "elegant Victorian design" of the mantle or the "antique Revolutionary War" chairs around the table. She was such a silly girl, but I loved her dearly.
We were headed to the stairs to the second floor when Emm announced the start of the pregame show, and Jacob turned to the living room, Bella and I following behind.
And here is another reason why I love my sister so much...
"Trade off, Edward. Show Bella the second floor," she said, smirking a little. From my peripheral vision I saw Jacob pause mid step and I could see his internal debate.
Should he let Bella go upstairs alone with me, where my bedroom was? Or should he look like an overprotective fool by turning around and either following Bella and I (and therefore missing the pregame show) or by pulling her away (which she surely wouldn't appreciate)?
I tried to look as respectable as possible when I breezed past Jacob. He reluctantly let me pass as he continued his trek into the living room. Alice smiled at me and gave me a pat on my shoulder as I passed her, and she also "accidentally" bumped into Bella, causing her to trip on the first step of the stairs. I smirked. I really loved my sister right about now.
"Having a clumsy moment?" I asked Bella softly, taking her hand so she wouldn't trip on any more steps. Of course.
She just blushed and nodded, and I smiled when she held my hand more tightly as her foot got caught on a step. Thanks for the idea, Alice, I thought to myself as I described the pictures on the walls that depicted my family. Esme had always loved remembering these things and having keepsakes. If one went into Carlisle's office, they could even see our birth certificates and adoption papers framed and displayed proudly.
We arrived on the second floor landing and I pointed out the bathroom, Emm and Jasper's room, and Alice and Rose's room.
That was when it got awkward. We only had my room left and I avoided her gaze as I opened the door and flipped on the light switch, leading her in and hoping that I wasn't being untoward, bringing the girl that I liked into my room alone so soon after meeting her. This was my room, after all, and it might sound slightly immature, but I considered my room a very intimate space. To have someone enter it was like letting down every one of my walls and allowing them see all of me. Of course, I was massively over thinking the entire situation; there's hardly any individual aspects to my bedroom, but that didn't depreciate the fact that Bella would be the first person not of my immediate family to enter my bedroom.
I held my breath as she looked around, taking in the desk underneath my side window, the little lamp out of place on my window seat because of the tendency I had to read at my window, rather than my desk, my bed, and the wall of CD's directly across from her window. Those were all things she could have seen before--though, admittedly, the CD's would have been difficult to see from that distance--but she examined them as if it was her first time seeing it all, as if it truly interested her. And that made me feel as if this was a very personal experience.
Her fingers slid across the album titles as she peered intently at them, lightly caressed my lamp before flicking it off to save electricity, and her eyes met mine. I wanted to kiss her. Would she mind if I did? I desperately hoped not as I took a step forward, and her gaze flickered behind me at my movement, and her mouth dropped open.
I paused. What the hell?
"Is that your piano?" she asked, clearly in awe of my beautiful Arden. She was my pride and joy, my own personal grand piano that was the sole reason I was the only child with my own room here: I needed the room for her, and my siblings didn't enjoy being kept up half the night with my playing whenever I felt inspired.
From the angle of our windows, Bella had not been able to glimpse My Precious until that moment. I was very pleased at how impressed she was, and decided to show off a tad. I led her over and sat next to her on the piano bench, stretching out my arms and fingers over dramatically as she giggled. I grinned half a grin at her, knowing that I was very talented, but somehow still nervous about how she might like my playing.
And then I dove in, playing Esme's favorite. After I got into the rhythm of the piece, I chanced a glance at Bella. She looked about ready to faint.
"Bella? Are you alright?" I asked her frantically, halting my playing.
"Yes," she said, and my phone beeped, signalling a text message. "You're just--I'm a little overwhelmed," she sighed, and I smiled.
I flipped open my phone and saw the words, Jacob's freaked about the sudden halt in playing. He wants to run up there and make sure you haven't attacked her.
I'd have to thank Alice for that warning later. I repositioned my fingers and started playing again, a softer, slower melody this time. When I looked at her again, she was smiling widely.
"Clair de Lune is one of my favorites," she said and I smiled back. A girl who knew Debussy... What could I have ever done for the gods to allow this gift to be placed right across the street from me? I chose not to question it, and instead took it in stride.
I slowed down my playing and used one hand to grab the remote to my stereo, turning it on the CD that was playing the other night, increasing the volume. When the sounds of Debussy exited the speakers, I stopped playing altogether. Bella just kept a smile on her face, carefully avoiding my gaze as I desperately tried to catch her eye.
The song switched and she finally let me look into her beautiful brown eyes. My phone beeped again. I exhaled loudly and saw Bella roll her eyes at the interruption. I was glad we were on the same mind with that one.
Did the CD just switch songs? Smart move, bro. Jacob would be even more stressed if he didn't think that both of your hands were occupied at all times.
That one was from Jasper. I wanted to hit him. Bella giggled. I blushed when I realized that she had seen the text.
"Umm, I'm sorry, he-" she held up her hand, cutting off my apology. I put her hand down and our hands rested between the two of us on the piano bench, just barely still touching.
"I don't mind," she said simply. Those three words would be the death of me, I knew it.
My phone beeped again. I let out an annoyed huff and flipped it open. Rose.
Jacob heard the CD skip. You should get a new one without scratches. He's worried now. It's very cute. He thinks you two are making out.
I wanted to bang my head against the wall.
"What does it say?" Bella asked. I sighed as I tilted the phone in her direction. She blushed as a small smile reached her lips.
"So you and Jacob really aren't together?" I confirmed one last time. I needed to make sure before I finally made my move. If Jacob already thought we were making out, then why not do this, right?
"No, we aren't," she said with a sad smile on her face.
Wait, she's sad about that? Why?
"He wants to, but... I'm not interested."
Of course you're not. He's a couple years younger, less refined, has an attitude, he's too big and bulky for you-
"I told him that I wasn't interested in dating right now."
Well, crap. She wasn't interested in dating. And there went the beginnings of my grand plan to have her fall in love with me. If she didn't want to, then I had no hope of ever getting any farther than friendship with her.
It almost made me wish that I hadn't yet realized the depth of my feelings for her so that I wouldn't have my hopes crushed so suddenly.
Because what depths these feelings had. It was completely irrational how strongly I felt for her in such a small space of time. I knew it wasn't "love-at-first-sight" because it wasn't a physical attraction that first drew me in. And it wasn't simply a meeting of minds either, because we've hardly spoken to each other before these feelings surfaced.
It was just her presence. The very Bella-ness about her that nearly brought me to my knees at the rejection that I faced: the way she stood awkwardly in her window, how I could see her blushing from so far away, the way she bit her lip... Everything about her drew me in--her face, her voice, even her scent. Strawberries and freesia. Nothing was more tantalizing than that in my mind.
It almost seemed as if this was a measure of torture: putting this siren in front of me, letting me think I had an opportunity to be with her, and then ripping that away from me. I was utterly right in my earlier assumption: I hadn't done anything worth the prize of her accepting me to be with her. And I still wanted desperately to kiss her. I am sick and masochistic.
Her words still reverberated in my mind: "I told him I wasn't interested in dating right now."
In ten words, my mind was in an uproar, and I had cartoonish depictions going on in my head with my internal debate.
Little Devil Edward on my left shoulder argued that kissing a girl didn't precisely mean dating her, so it's wasn't off limits.
Little Angel Edward on my right told me how unfair it would be to confuse Bella like that.
Little Devil Edward stated that there was nothing confusing about her reactions to him. She seemed to want him like he wanted her.
Little Angel Edward had no valid response and sulked. He halfheartedly used the old "what if you're wrong?" argument against his opposition.
I vacillated back and forth. My face was still close to Bella's from when she leaned over to read the text from Rosalie.
Though my head was still undecided, my hand that wasn't touching hers on the piano bench has made it's decision without me. It reached up and cupped her cheek.
Little Angel Edward told me not to do it.
Little Devil Edward hopped over to my right shoulder and bludgeoned Little Angel Edward with a Cupid's bow and stabbed him in the butt with a cupid's arrow.
Both Edwards cheered me on as I let my hand drift down from her face to her neck.
Bella's breathing picked up slightly, as did my own, and I tilted my face closer to hers, stopping a couple inched from her lips. It was my compromise. I'd make the first move, but she had to choose if she wanted it or not.
I nearly panicked when she didn't lean in right away. My fingers twitched slightly on her neck, my other hand tightening on hers before she met my eyes and sighed, her warm breath swimming into my mouth. God, her breath tastes amazing...
She finally moved closer to me and I nearly jumped up to celebrate, only managing to stop myself because I knew that better things would come if I sat still. She licked her lips, involuntarily it seemed, and we were a mere centimeter apart.
And then my damn phone went off again, and Bella jumped at the noise, her lips brushing against mine slightly as she pulled back. I felt a slight shock on my lips--almost like static electricity--from the touch. They tingled.
And that was not how I wanted to kiss her the first time. It was going to be purposeful, not a result of surprise. I cursed under my breath as I opened my phone, vowing to turn the damn thing off. Bella laughed nervously at my words as I fumbled with the stupid electronic device, trying to read who I would have to kill for the interruption. Ah, Emmett. He'd make a good victim if I could get him alone later.
Seriously. Stop molesting Bella and get down here. Mom and Dad just pulled up.
I closed my phone quickly and looked up at Bella. She was staring at Arden's gorgeous black and white keys, a thoughtful look on her face as her fingertips lightly touched her lips, almost unconsciously, I wagered from the faraway look on her face. She was very beautiful.
She looked at me after a moment and blushed slightly. "From the pissed off look on your face, I'm guessing that it was Emmett and he said something stupid." I chuckled and nodded. "What did he say?" she asked.
I paused. I obviously didn't want to quote him exactly. "We should go down. My parents just pulled into the driveway and they've been wanting to meet you."
She nodded and stood up a little unsteadily. I ran my hands through my hair, probably messing it up more than it usually was, before standing as well, leading her out into the hall.
At the top of the stairs, I hesitantly offered her my hand, which she just as hesitantly accepted. I knew we were both grateful for that when she nearly tripped. She hastily tightened her grip on me and used her other hand to grab onto the railing.
We reached the bottom of the stairs just as the front door burst open. Carlisle and Esme stopped in their tracks, Esme's mouth even dropping open as both sets of eyes focused in on our clasped hands.
Emmett, Rose, Alice, Jasper and Jacob trooped into the foyer a second later, all of them also pausing in shock at the sight before them. I doubt any of my family actually expected anything to happen between Bella and I, despite their teasing messages. And here we were, holding hands in front of them. I had to urge to touch my lips. They still tingled slightly.
Carlisle cleared his throat to try to break the awkwardness.
I pondered how to introduce Bella to my parents. I couldn't call her my girlfriend; not yet. And "friend" wasn't an accurate depiction of our relationship either, as we had just sort-of-almost-kind-of-in-a-way kissed. Not exactly friendly behavior. And now she was Meeting The Parents. Already.
Bella must have realized this at the same time as I did because she dropped my hand as if it had burned her, and I was surprised yet again at the amount of pain that small little rejection caused me. I was hurt, annoyed, and confused.
Where did Bella and I stand?
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How is THAT for an acidental kiss, eh? ;)
The end of the next chapter is the REASON I wrote this story, and I'm super excited to write it... it'll be a little bit as I'm still trying to work on updating all my other stories as well as this one, but no more than a week, alrightie, ladies? (and lads... if there are any lads... are there any lads? lol)
I have another request to add onto my rule of "NO JAKE BASHING": Anonymous reviewers!! I love you guys so much! but I always feel bad about the fact that I can't respond to y'all like everyone else, because sometimes you guys have some of the most interesting things to say. If y'all put your email address in the place they ask you to when you submit anonymous reviews, I can still respond to you. If y'all don't want to do that, then that's fine, but I wish I could thank you personally!
One last note: I hope y'all will want to check out my entry into withthevampsofcourse and jandco's A Very Cullen Christmas contest. It's on my other account (where I go when I feel like a gutter-mind:P), the link to which is under my favorite authors on my profile. The story is called "Holiday Spirit" in hopes that everyone who reads will feel like a-celebratin'!!!!! XD
Much Love,
Grace, the unGraceful