Chp 14: The Sounds of Chaos
Mandy, Kairi, and Yuffie stood shoulder to shoulder in a broom closet at Destiny Island High as the three stared in horror at the file Yuffie held out in her hands.
"This can't be real," Mandy said in shock.
Kairi's lips were sealed shut in terror as her thoughts of Riku made her tremble. She couldn't bear to open her eyes to what the many headlines of the documents in front of her said.
Test 145. Test 162. Test 194. Test 223.
Test
Test
Test
Test
Choas. Everything for Kairi went to chaos. Her mind was twisting and turning around this that was so horrible it was unfathomable. It was like she had just stepped into a horrible, grotesque painting and everywhere she stepped mine bombs would explode and the mirrors were melting. It hurt just to picture everything in her head. Yet, the more her mind snapped over it, the more it didn't seem so impossible. Riku's skin was always so pale….unnaturally pale. Kairi even recalled a time when she could've swore his skin turned a very faint yellow. She closed her eyes and studied his face over and over again. It wasn't hard for her to remember every scar, every freckle, every second of seeing his face. After remembering all the times she had seen him, she then noticed that each time he saw him his eyes grew darker and darker, his cheeks sunk in further, and his voice grew weak. And then she remembered seeing the many empty orange bottles of pills around his cell. She froze in her guilt.
How could I have not known?
"I can't believe this," Mandy exclaimed, "This is so fucking corrupt."
"I guess this is what the government does….they test medication on humans so they can say they didn't test it on animals," Yuffie replied.
"Fuck!" Mandy shouted. She kicked over a stand full of mops and brooms. They rolled all over the cement floor.
"I am so god damn mad I can't fucking THINK straight!" she yelled again, her face as red as blood.
"Oh my God….what if there are Safe Houses all over the country?" Yuffie said while turning white. "What if THIS is the fate of every kid who gets fucked out of a foster home?"
Mandy had the demeanor of a serial killer as she paced around the small room, and Yuffie's fists clenched tighter and tighter as she thought of all the illegal medication the Safe House kids could be taking.
"Just think about the medication there is now….I know you've seen those commercials where non-profit lawyers offer to take up cases where people who took stuff like Rydlan, or Prozac, or Zoloft and committed suicide or died. And those are actual government approved medications. This shit they're giving them hasn't even been made completely! Think about what they may be taking!"
"Oh my god, I can't handle this….." Yuffie sighed, "I wonder how many of them have died already?"
"DON'T SAY THAT!" Mandy yelled in the way a teacher would yell at a student who did something wrong.
Mandy and Yuffie had almost forgotten Kairi was there due to her silence.
"We have to do something Mandy," Yuffie said with tears welling up in her eyes.
"Yuffie what the fuck are you talking about? We can't do SHIT!"
"What? Why?" Yuffie said in a shocked tone.
"Yuffie we're teenagers! No one is going to believe us. Teenagers have unprotected sex and give birth at 17, or they go to jail for shop lifting. Teenagers are NOT heroes. This is an adult's world we can not win!"
"Why do you have to be so fucking pessimistic all the time!" Yuffie screamed.
"I'm not being pessimistic I'm being realistic!" At this point Yuffie and Mandy were standing face to face screaming.
"Oh please spare us the emo routine!"
"Quit trying to be clever! There can be no happy ending to THIS story miss sunshine!"
"Kairi you can't possibly side with her can you!" Yuffie screamed as she and Mandy both whipped their heads over at the silent Kairi at the same time.
At first Kairi said nothing. She just remained motionless with her glassy eyes staring at the ground, not moving an inch. She was like a mannequin.
"Kairi?" Mandy said. She and Yuffie exchanged wary glances. A few more moments of silence passed. She finally spoke.
"They're all going to end up like Daniel….."
And with those works Kairi shattered any doubt in Mandy's mind. Her eyes grew glassy and she backed away from the two girls. When Mandy leaned against the wall and cried all her pain out, Yuffie closed her eyes tightly and pretended that she was somewhere far away as tears started to roll down her eyes as well.
"We have to do something…" Kairi said. Yuffie nodded slowly.
"Mandy does have a point though Kairi….what can we do? We're only teenagers."
Kairi glanced over at Mandy. She was now fully collapsed on the floor sobbing so loudly she had no idea why someone in the hallway didn't open the door.
"We'll have to get together and think of something….something BIG. This can't be handled in a bullshit manner….this is serious."
"I know," Yuffie replied.
"But please," Kairi began, "while we are thinking of something to do….I'm begging you….can one of you PLEASE go to Safe House and make sure Riku is safe. I need to know…It's killing me."
"I'll do it…..' Mandy choked through her tears. Kairi and Yuffie gave her concerned looks. Her dark make up was running down her face and seemed to blaze like wild fire against her pale skin.
"Are you sure you're ok to go Mandy?" Kairi asked.
"Yes…." She sniffed. "Don't worry….I'll be fine. I promise."
"Ok….now we need to get to work."
The minute Mandy placed her boot on the ground in Safe House she immediately regretted it. In Safe House there was always an ever present sense of doom in Safe House, but today it seemed to be more present than ever. The feeling of dread she felt choked up the words in her throat and hindered her thoughts. She walked slowly….as if she was walking in a funeral march. She looked all around her. Today something was different. In every cell she looked in everyone was crying. There wasn't one cage that you couldn't hear tiny sobs coming from. Like the cries of a child who was slowly going to sleep. The sounds of crying were breaking Mandy. Every step she took forward she wanted to take five steps back. With each painful step she took she knew more and more that she was walking towards something that she couldn't bear to find. The further she walked down the hall the louder the crying got. She tried to picture she was someplace else. She tried to forget the fact that the world in front of her was slowly turning to chaos and she couldn't make it stop. In her mind she was lying in an open field with Daniel by her side. They ran their hands over each others scars and smooth skin, and made love under the stars until they burned out into daylight. But Mandy soon had to open her eyes to the real world that was only getting worse and worse. She couldn't walk anymore. She couldn't handle taking in all she had to take this slowly. She had to run. She ran all the way to where she knew Riku was….the sounds of crying growing louder and louder until they started to spin in a circus like way. When Mandy got to where she was going, however, things didn't lessen for her. She looked into Riku's cell and found him sprawled out on his floor crying harder and louder than anyone else.
"Riku…" Mandy said helplessly. There were tears in her breath.
"Riku?" she said one again, louder this time.
"Riku please look at me!" She was crying now. Riku finally looked up at her. He was a wreck. He was in worse shape than Mandy or Kairi had ever seen him. It made her cringe to look at him. He was skinnier than ever and his burning bright eyes seemed to have lost their shine from being buried in the dark dark circles around them. He just looked like all life in him was gone. She snapped out of concentrating on his physical appearance.
"Riku what's wrong with you?" she shouted, "What's wrong with EVERYONE? What is going on!"
Riku continued crying. He gripped his hands into his hair so hard you could hear the strands snapping. Mandy started to get scared. Then Riku lifted his pale, sickly arm and pointed it outwards. Mandy started to turn around.
"Riku I wish you would tell me what's……"
A piercing scream rang through the air.
Mandy slammed hard into the wall behind her as she closed her hands tightly around her eyes, screaming the whole time. The Safe House kids cried harder. They knew that she had finally seen what they had seen.
In the cell diagonal from Riku there lied the most gorgeous dead body anyone could see…..Kayla.
Mandy screamed louder and louder. She ran over to the cell while crying violent tears. She pounded on the wall hard.
"No! No! No!" she screamed over and over again. Kayla lied there so beautiful with her silky blonde hair covering most of her placid face. She was like a slain innocent.
It was too much. Mandy clenched her hand over what of her heart she could feel. She had finally reached the point where she could think thoughts. Her head was ringing. All she could do was cry. Cry and hope that it would bring Kayla back.
"HOW LONG HAS SHE BEEN THERE?" Mandy screamed as she whipped her body around at Riku. Riku's face was stained with tears that he couldn't cry anymore.
"A few hours…." He sobbed.
"WHAT!" She couldn't believe what was happening. It was so horrible she didn't even feel like it was actually going on….like this was just a horrible, sick dream.
"What are they going to do with her?" Mandy asked even though she didn't even want to know. You could tell that Riku wanted to cry even more. He was making the sobbing sound but no tears came out. He was all dried up.
"I don't even know Mandy….I don't know. This hasn't happened before.
"Well what do you THINK will happen?" she yelled in an almost menacing way.
"Honestly?" Riku said.
"Yes!"
"Honestly, I think anytime now the Safe House people will walk in and take her body away and burn it in a furnace somewhere."
"WHAT!" she screamed loudly.
"You told me to be honest!"
"No!" she cried again.
Mandy crawled over the edge of Kayla's cell. She placed her hands against the glass and cried until she, like Riku, was dried up too. She banged her fist so hard on the glass that a crack formed, but she didn't even notice her hand bleeding.
"Kayla….." Mandy whimpered. She had never known her. Mandy had never even seen Kayla before this moment, but she had heard her story and couldn't believe that this was the end for her.
Mandy examined Kayla's cell once again. Her crayons and colored papers were scattered everywhere. Her blankets looked like she had just gotten out of bed. Then Mandy noticed that Kayla was holding a tiny plastic hand in hers….her dolls hand….her baby's hand….Madison. Mandy sobbed even harder at that. And then Mandy noticed something under the gorgeous hair that covered her pale dead face….and that was a smile under parted on her pink lips.
Mandy screamed.
"NO! It can't end like this for her! It won't! I won't let it…."
Then, in the most impulsive move Mandy could've made, she stood up and powerfully kicked a hole through the glass with her big boots.
"MANDY!" Riku screamed in a horrified way. A red light and siren went off, but Mandy didn't stop. She kicked until the hole was big enough for her to step inside.
Someone had finally got inside.
Mandy started to grab Kayla's body and lift her up.
"MANDY, NO!" Riku shouted, "I know this is horrible, but don't be stupid. You're not going to get her out of here!"
"SAYS WHO?" she screamed through her tears.
"Mandy they're going to come any second now! There's no way you're going to be able to carry a human body out of here in time. You'll be killed Mandy!"
"What does it matter?" she continued to try and pick her up, but was unsuccessful.
"Mandy….Kayla wouldn't want you to die in vain because of her."
She stopped dead in her tracks. Mandy looked down at Kayla's beautiful body in her arms. She could hear the many footsteps coming for her…her heart pounded. Mandy closed her eyes tightly and her tears fell as she lied Kayla down to rest. But before she stepped out of her cell….Mandy grabbed Madison from Kayla's sign and ran as fast as she could out of Safe House.
I couldn't believe it had come down to this. How did this all happen? This can't be me. This isn't my life. This is a nightmare. I'll wake up soon. But wait...this can't be a nightmare because I have an unbelieved angel lying in my lap. Oh don't leave me my love. I can't live without you. I need you. DON'T LEAVE ME DAMMIT! Oh my God, I'm going crazy. Wait...going crazy? I AM crazy! You made me crazy! You made me what I am now! Oh no, I can't blame you. I love you. I love you. I am who I am now because you are a part of me. I REFUSE to live without you. Oh please wake up.
I pushed the orange tablets away and brushed away the wet, sliver hair that was sticking to his forehead. I held him tight. I never wanted to let go. I wanted to melt within him. I wanted to be his eyelash...a skin cell on his body...something attached to him. God, how did this happen? Was it really that long ago when I was normal? What the hell is normal anyway? If it's anything then I am defiantly not that. This is so wrong. We loved each other too much. We were to dependent on each other? But would I take this unhealthy romance away? Never.
….I kissed Riku's cold cheeks. This is all my fault. If only I hadn't been gone for so long. I lifted my head up and looked around the room. White. Lonely. A bed lying in the corner. His guitar propped against the wall. All his paintings and drawings scattered across the floor. I looked though the glass that had separated us for so long and watched the other lost souls.
How did I get here? How did my life boil down to this single portion of time and space? It's funny how a person can have their very lives dangling in the palm of another's hand. And that's how it is now. He has to wake up. He's woken up a thousand times before. Just one more time my love...please...
"Riku!" Kairi shouted.
She woke up in a cold, cold sweat, breathing like she had been running a mile. Kairi didn't know if she was happy or sad to realize that it was all a dream. In her dream Riku was on the verge of death, but in real life things weren't much different. If her dream was real life at least she would know what was happening. She couldn't take being left in the dark….not knowing whether he was alive, or dead, or just fine, or anything. Kairi clenched her hands in her hair and rocked back and forth. Situations kept playing and playing over and over again in her head….all varying in corruptness and sorrow. Any one of them could be true….it was too much to handle.
Kairi ripped her sheets away from her body and paced around her room….hoping that the chaos surrounding her would silence, but it never did. It drove her crazy.
Kairi opened the door to her balcony and stepped outside. All of Destiny Island lied out before her. She took a deep breath.
A piercing scream rang through the air.
It was sunset on the beach. Kairi, Mandy, and Yuffie stood together in their winter coats and scarves watching Kayla's doll being burned at their feet. They couldn't have the real Kayla with them, but they decided that she poured so much of her soul into her doll….that Madison might as well have been Kayla herself.
The girls wept silent tears.
"We should say something…." Yuffie said quietly.
"Kairi you should do it," Mandy sniffed, "you knew her the best."
Yuffie nodded in agreement. A tear fell from Kairi's face and hit the cold sand.
"I don't even know what I can say…." she began, "I guess all I can say is that the evil ones who took this beautiful soul away from us will pay. But you know….I think this world wasn't the place for Kayla. She's where she really belongs now….with the other angels. And I know that heaven is a better place now because she is in it."
Yuffie buried her face in her gloves and sobbed, while Mandy kept her eyes fixated on the burning doll. They listened with sad ears as Kairi finished Kayla's eulogy.
"I hope that as we release Kayla into the wind on this sunset, her ashes do whirlwinds in the air as she dances across the sunset. I hope that she is free….free to dance, free to live, free to be the girl she was meant to be without being condemned for it."
Kayla's ashes did do whirlwinds the air that night, and you could ask anyone in Destiny Islands….for they all swore that the stars in the sky shined a little brighter that night.
A/N: The next chapter is the big finale. I'm sorry for the delay in updates but this chapter was particularly difficult to write for me. I don't like to rush through stories like these….I don't think it would be as good if I didn't take the time to really focus on everything I can do. So stay tuned everybody….I hope the ending doesn't disappoint you.