Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I do own my OCs and the plot of this story.

NOTE: This is not the final chapter, but Jessi has given up writing.

WARNING: There's some sexual content in here, so I don't recommend reading if you're below 17... though I know you young people don't give a fuck xP

FINAL ENTRY

I'm sorry; I can't bear to write about my experiences anymore. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please remember me by this final entry. This is all I want you to remember me by. He doesn't like me writing.

He's been keeping a tight eye on me as of late, getting angrier at me as the days pass. As you read in the previous entry, he beat and raped me, and I know there's only more to come. I know there's only going to be pain and suffering for the rest of my life. Is my time as a human almost up?

When I first began my entries, I thought I was writing them for someone to find. I thought I would be able to get them out of the prison I was in and release them into the bright world. I have not seen the light of day in weeks, maybe months. There are no windows, no fresh air, no clocks or calendars - How long have I been here?

Every time I tried to hope, he's destroyed it all. I can't bear to have positive thoughts such as friendship any longer. I can't bear to feel like I have worth or that I will be saved. My mind tortures me with such vicious lies.

JayJay may or may not be alive, being the strongest in our group, but Tay will meet her end before I next see her. As for Shiina - I'm not sure what to think of her anymore. In my rational mind, she is a whore that gives into any attractive man, any man that says he loves her. It's hard to believe I had my eyes closed to her true self for so long.

You may ask if this is my rational mind writing. You may ask if I'm sane. The answers are yes and no. I'm in my rational mind but I'm far from sane. The things I've been seeing out of the corners of my eyes have been terrifying beasts coming to rip me apart. Some dwell in the many shadows of this hell, but most are under the floorboards. That's right; they're right beneath my feet.

I'm unsure if they are Sasori's creations or my creations, but I know they are real. How do I know, you may ask? Because I see them with my own two eyes. I see them move the floorboards beneath me. I hear them whisper things to me as I drift off to sleep. I hear them creeping and crawling below, planning to touch me when I'm asleep. They want to hurt me, but they want me to believe they are my friends. They beckon to me. I've never seen what one looked like completely, but I know that they are black figures. Some are large and some a small. Sometimes they move things and try to dart away, but my eyes always catch them. I've been seeing them even more recently, and I find myself constantly looking over my shoulder. Don't worry - they won't be the end of me. I never let them get too close.

I still find myself contemplating my jealousy that he mentioned. I asked myself first if I was really jealous and how I could ever be jealous. Then, I came to terms with the jealousy and accepted it. You might be asking how I understood the jealousy and accepted it, taking the situation I've described to heart.

Yes, I have been raped by him.

Yes, I have been beaten by him.

Yes, I have had some of my body altered by him.

And yes, I agree that all of these things don't appear to be good or pleasant.

The truth of it all is that they weren't pleasant to endure, and the body alterations probably made my sanity deteriorate quicker, but he did it not to hurt me. If he calls me beautiful and treats me like his possession all the time, why would he try to hurt me? Why would he want to damage something that's his? There is no logic in abuse, but there is logic in punishment and reinforcing the rules, right?

I used to think that he was horrible and only wanted to torture me. I used to dread waking up to face him every day or night or whatever. I used to see him in the wrong sort of light.

He had the right to hit me when I didn't do what he wanted me to... but only sometimes. Most of the time, I was displaying bad manners that I doubt my parents ever taught me. He thought it was better for me to understand through physical reinforcement.

Maybe the rape doesn't have to be rape anymore. Maybe I can learn to enjoy it and maybe that would make the pain stop. Maybe then he wouldn't be so-

...I don't understand... why I'm crying right now, but I think I'm on the right track to recovery. Don't you think? I think I'm ready to feel love for him. I think I was jealous and I think I should accept that jealousy. Maybe I'm just sad because this is my last time writing to you and I'm doing it on a greasy old cloth. Am I fooling myself? What do I really feel?

I don't know why I'm crying but I can't seem to stop. I'm so confused. I'll miss writing to you, I guess. I'll miss... all the times you've listened... but I don't need to write to you anymore... because my suffering... well, it's almost up. I think I'm... able... to understand my feelings now. But remember me for who I really am... okay? Forget what I said in the beginning, about remembering me... by this last entry.

Remember me from the first, where I had my sanity and could understand my own fucking feelings, and when I could understand who I loved and who I hated. When I loved JayJay, Shiina and Tay, but hated Sasori. When I didn't have abdominal pains and knew what was going on with my body.

Remember me as beloved, endearing little Jessi.

A ROOM UNDERGROUND

Deidara set Shiina on a spare bed - which Sasori had provided - as gently as he could. She was still as unconscious as she had been when they had landed, which meant no fun for him. He'd thought about trying to wake her up with pleasure, sure that would have worked, but Sasori had been waiting for him when he landed at the bottom of the underground location. Sasori eyed her with a hunger he didn't like, a hunger that made him think twice about leaving her in his abode. He didn't want to return one day to find she took more of a liking to the puppet master than himself. He also didn't want to come back to find her turned into a poor excuse for art.

The blonde took a step back and furrowed his brows. She was a good catch, yes, and not one he wanted to just throw away. Her heavy resolve to keep her sanity would bother him when the time came to break her, but he wouldn't give up. He had threats, beatings, rape, and torture in store for her; he would break her even quicker than Sasori had broken Jessica.

Deidara looked over at his partner, who was leaning lazily against the doorway. He watched the bomber with a critical eye.

"How difficult was she?" The puppeteer questioned.

Deidara smirked and shrugged, taking at seat at the foot of the bed.

"She was an easy catch... hmn. Maybe she wanted to get caught."

The scorpion narrowed his eyes, his face portraying sly intentions and uncertainty. He walked toward the dozing girl, shuffling through his pockets to find what he was looking for. Deidara raised a thin brow and watched; he wouldn't object as long as he kept his hands to himself; it was important that he be the first to take her.

Sasori produced a syringe with an unknown liquid and stopped beside his target. His eyes drifted over her form, taking in her long legs, slender body, and developed chest. Despite just finishing with his own doll, he was greedy. He wanted another woman to dominate and curl to his touch. He squeezed the syringe slightly to emit a little liquid before leading it down to her neck.

"What the hell are you doing... hmn?"

He stopped the needle when it was just touching her pale skin and casted the blonde a glare of impatience.

"I'm making sure she's really unconscious, brat."

There was silence as they made hard eye contact with each other, battling through unheard thoughts. Shiina, truly awake, tried not to quiver as she felt the cold metal against her skin. Needles were an ultimate phobia of her, something she'd hated ever since she had gotten shots as a child. She was unsure of the drug within the syringe, but she was sure it would knock her right out. The needle pressed harder against her skin and she willed her body not to jump.

"I want her to wake up... hmn." Deidara scoffed at his comrade's idiocy. How else was he supposed to have his fun?

Shiina had already identified one of the men as, obviously, Deidara. She guessed that the other was Sasori, the one who had taken Jessica. She figured if he was in near her then Jessica was also nearby, perhaps even in the same place. There was hope of rescue, but only if she was allowed to carefully plan; only if Deidara planned to keep her alive for a long time. She almost breathed a sigh of relief when she felt the needle move away from her neck.

The men said nothing to each other as Sasori placed the syringe back into his cloak and stepped away from their victim. The silence was deafening; the room itself appeared to by crying for someone to say something. Shiina tried not to move.

"I'm going to check on the subjects." Sasori said while rolling his eyes. He would have had much more fun playing with his partner's new toy.

"They were delivered alive... hmn?"

Deidara had been under the impression that they had all been destroyed by the vicious Kisame. None of them had put up much of a fight. All of them had been unbelievably weak and unprepared; pathetic.

"Except two. The other girl was killed by Pein and the bug boy was killed by Kisame."

To this, Deidara chuckled, making Shiina's blood boil. It was devastating news to know that two of her teammates had been terminated, but she wasn't surprised. Tay was the weakest link when left alone without protection or backup and she didn't think Shino's bugs enjoyed the water. She kept up her act and decided she didn't want to make a big deal about it until she was in the clear. There was sorrow, but unseen sorrow. She was at least satisfied that JayJay, Guy, Lee, and Neji were still alive... for the time being.

Sasori walked out the door, but not before tossing Deidara a small jar of stuff that resembled lip balm. The blonde caught it with one hand and inspected it. There was no label, only a creamy substance within.

"What the-"

"Rub it on her sensitive parts. She won't be comfortably satisfied for hours, which means more pleasure for us."

Shiina resisted the urge to snap her eyes open and call threats. Deidara stared at the stimulant with a growing smirk. He gave his partner a wave as the door closed, and it certainly didn't take long for him to take action.

'To wake up or not to wake up, that is the fucking question...' She contemplated.

Her pants were slid down with haste, along with her panties before she had time to do much. She was unsure of what to do and how to do whatever she thought of. She knew the strength of her captors and she understood that Deidara wouldn't be gentle with her. But could she resist the stimulant until it wore off? Was it worth it for her to try? And what the hell would she be able to do if she 'awakened' and tried to stop him? It would be her against a much more powerful S-ranked criminal.

He parted her lower lips apart with his index and middle fingers as he dipped the opposite hand's fingers into the jar's glossy contents. Slowly, he touched the substance against her slit, rubbing it up and down sensually. He pressed more of the substance around the inside of her pussy as well; just to be sure the stuff would work. He rubbed her sensitive button with a little more of it, as well as the flesh surrounding her slit. He made sure he covered all of her.

Shiina hadn't felt anything at first. Sure, it had been cold but nothing out of the ordinary. It was only when he slid her entire outfit off that she started to feel the stimulation. There was a warm feeling within her, making her pussy feel as though it was on fire. It made her unwillingly yearn for something to be inside her. It made her yearn to moan and press her legs together to relieve the pain. She tried not to quiver or make any strange facial expressions, aware that he was watching her, but within the first five minutes...

Her eyes snapped open and her hand seemed to have a mind of its own. She bit her lower lip as her fingers lightly petted her clit. The pleasure was explosive. She needed even more. She had no idea how the strange substance took away her free will and made her act like a savage, but her mind wouldn't let her rational thoughts arise. Her cheeks beamed bright red. What she was doing was completely wrong and humiliating... yet she couldn't bring herself to stop. Her hole desired something longer and thicker than her fingers, but she knew she would regret it.

She struggled to bring her fingers away from her clit, but they always went back. The pain in her womanhood was booming, begging to be quenched.

She was mortified - the gel had turned her into something disgusting.

She whined in frustration, knowing full well that her former friend was eyeing her with a playful smirk; she desperately wanted to gouge his face in. Even he hadn't expected the substance to work this well, but he was content with the outcome.

He grabbed her wrists and removed her fingers away from her clit. As much as he was getting off on her embarrassing act, his erection wasn't going to fix itself. It was time to taunt her; time to initiate the breaking process.

"I didn't know you were such a whore... hmn." He mocked. "How many other men have you let inside you?"

Shiina was enraged at his question, enraged at his behaviour. How dare he ask something so degrading!

He held her wrists away from her aching part and refused to let them go. Instead, he climbed atop her and pressed his hard lower half against hers. She felt like she was on fire, feeling his clothed length against her pussy. One part of her, the savage, wanted him inside, pressing against her tightening walls. Another part of her wanted him to get away from her. Yet another part of her just wanted him to go away so she could relieve the pain herself.

She battled with him, using up the little strength she had only to fail. He was stronger than she remembered.

"I am not a whore." She hissed. "I haven't gone on any 'fucking bonanzas' like you probably have. Not that my sex life is any of your business."

He leaned his face down to hers in an intimidating way, a strange grin placed on his lips. It scared her how attractive she still found him. It scared her how different he had become.

"I've made a lot of women scream... hmn." He chuckled. "But how many men have you spread your legs for... hmn?"

He was pestering her for the answer, and she wasn't sure what to tell him; it wasn't every day that someone asked her how many men she's slept with. She counted in her head. She'd definitely had some good sex in her life, but she wasn't sure why she was so willing to tell him. She wondered what he would do.

Deidara, luckily, was more patient than his partner. He spent his time hovering his eyes over her body, greatly impressed with her hourglass curves and her round breasts. They weren't large or mosquito-bite small; that was a big turn-on. He couldn't wait to fill her up.

"... Five." A bit of a sheepish reply.

"Including me... hmn?"

"...Mmm."

"Who were they... hmn?"

She was taken aback once more by his odd question. She didn't like how he was trying to invade her property and was acting like she belonged to him; it was bullshit. It was hard for her to think rationally for a long time, though, with the pulsing between her legs. Perhaps, she thought, if she answered his questions he'd let her touch herself - let her feel relief. Her answers were short, concise, and to the point.

"No one you'd know."

"Tell me who's been inside you... hmn."

He was getting pushier. She wanted to argue with him to try and get her point across that his questions were useless, but she didn't have it in her. Already her breathing was increasing and her heart pounding. The pain below was getting worse. She grit her teeth and sighed with irritation.

"KibaKankuroGenmaGaara." She said in a hurry, as if they were poison on her tongue.

She felt one of his mouthed hands lick her wrist and quivered under him. He released one of her wrists and held her by the chin, taking in her facial features and slight blush. Her lower jaw was trembling, likely from the feeling of dissatisfaction in her pussy, and her eyes were squinting back at his. He moved his face closer and left his lips just in front of hers, yearning to taste her in more ways than one.

"I'm more of a man than any of those guys combined... hmn... and you know it." There was cockiness rather than anger in his tone. "But I guess I'll have to remind you."

He unzipped his pants and she felt his manhood press against her aching spot. Her thought were jumbled and she could do nothing but lightly gasp. She'd forgotten how large he was.

UNKNOWN LOCATION

Neji was beginning to feel weak from dehydration and blood loss when he heard a faint scraping sound from JayJay's cell. The last thing he'd told JayJay was that he'd seen Shiina get taken by the blonde Akatsuki, but was unsure if she was alive. Neji thought it was likely she was alive but would be destroyed in no time, just like everyone else. Since then, he'd heard nothing but the faint dripping of water from somewhere.

Neji fell asleep for what seemed like five minutes but was probably a full hour or more. He dreamed of the smooth, green forests of Konoha and training with his teammates. Much to his chagrin, he awoke in a sweat surrounded by darkness and tight air. There was no trace of Lee, Tenten, or Guy-sensei. There was no trace of the lush forest. He was left with only his thoughts.

Tay had been terminated just as he was pulled beneath the water, he recalled. He watched as three orange blurs came at her from all directions and heard a great rumble as he sunk. It was clear how strong Tay was compared to the rest of her comrades; she couldn't have had a chance against three Akatsuki members. He hoped her death was instantaneous, if not very soon after the attack; he prayed she hadn't suffered.

There was also the matter of Shiina being taken by the blonde Akatsuki. Why he had chosen her, he did not know. He didn't even know if he had been telling the truth about Jessica. There was so much mystery to his situation that it almost gave him a headache. A kunoichi from Konoha a willing sex partner to a criminal? That didn't sound right. It couldn't be right.

Neji pressed his ear against the hard wood next to him and tried to determine what his teammate was up to. The scratching sound persisted, but from where? He knew there was no chance of much hand movement due to the large ball they were attached to, but perhaps...

"Hey." He pressed his lips against the wall. "Hey."

...perhaps JayJay had managed to move the restraint ever so slightly.

The scraping sound stopped abruptly and he heard JayJay chuckle jovially. Neji wondered if the poor boy was beginning to lose his mind or if he was onto something devious.

"What is it? I'm busy."

"You are aware that we are both bound in secluded rooms, don't you? What can you be so occupied with?"

There was silence. The kind that was cold and hard.

"...What?"

Neji sighed and shook his head in frustration. JayJay wasn't the type to understand street talk rather than sophisticated talk.

"What the hell are you doing in there?" He asked.

There was more silence before the scraping sound started again. It didn't stop like Neji had expected it to. It kept going for what seemed like hours. JayJay's nails were bloody and his fingers were almost skinless to the bone by the time the scraping stopped. He pounded his head hard against the wall, starling his friend on the other side. Tears ran down his dishevelled face, from eyes that had been dry for years. He wanted to know how long he'd been trapped in his cell and if anyone was coming back for him. He could no longer relax. He could no longer be calm.

"I just want to get out, man..." He let out a small sob. "I just wanted to save my friend..."

His whispered with a voice Neji didn't recognize as JayJay's. It was a lost, frantic voice, one that just wanted happiness and love. He couldn't handle pain, abandonment, and terror.

"JayJay, you have to get a hold-"

"NO!" JayJay chuckled as he had before. "No, Neji. No, I don't have to get a hold of myself." There was more chuckling that sent chills down the Hyuuga's spine. "No, Neji. No, no, no, no, no." The chuckling became more hysterical. "I don't HAVE to, Neji!" His voice was getting louder and louder with every word. "I DON'T HAVE TO!"

Neji wanted to tell the man to shut up in case they attracted unwanted attention, but he couldn't bring himself to. He convinced himself that JayJay would get better if he gained the chance to blow off his emotion. He allowed him to talk, to yell, and to bang his head against the wall. He allowed him to talk badly about his life, his family, and his friends.

"SHINO!" He cried with petrifying amusement. "HE WAS THE LUCKIEST ONE! HE'S FUCKING DEAD! HE ISN'T HERE WITH US, ROTTING AWAY LIKE... LIKE A BANANA IN THE SUN!"

It was difficult for Neji to hold his tongue, but he managed because fear paralysed him. He felt like something was coming for him, but couldn't seem to think rationally. Was it Shino's ghost? Tay's ghost? A demon? JayJay's voice eventually became nothing more than a buzz as he focused on his dreadful thoughts.

He felt the hair on the back of his neck rise. He wondered if something unseen was creeping through the dark cell toward him, using the walls and his trembling body as a guide. He imagined something terrifying, something that looked like death: a woman with bleeding eye sockets and no lower jaw. She would make choking sounds as she slid to him, choking on her own spit and blood. Her skin would be pasty and rough, her fingernails long and jagged. Her hair would be torn out in some places, perhaps burned, and she would be completely naked. One of her legs would be snapped in two, never to be mended.

This woman would crawl up to him slowly, trying not to make any sounds until he was within her reach.

"...Tay?" He would manage to mumble as she cupped his face with queer affection.

He wouldn't be able to see her, but he would feel her move closer to him. He would be staring death right in the eyes in thick darkness. Her breath would be rancid with maggots feeding on her tongue. With her last breath, she would slither onto his lap and moan...

"You left me for dead, you son of a bitch."

She would snap his neck and leave him lying there, thinking about his pain until he succumbed, and creep back into the shadows. There would be more victims in the future, more traitors.

Neji bit his tongue to prevent himself from screaming. He didn't want to admit his visions to himself. He didn't want to be right about the woman in the shadows, but there was little logical thought left within him. There was only cowardice and dread. What else could be waiting? What else could he be feeling?

Clack.

Clack.

Clack.

"Shit... I..."

Clack.

Clack.

Clack.

"This can't be real..."

Clack.

Clack.

"I can't believe this is..."

Clack.

Clack.

"I must keep pure to my family... my blood."

Clack.

Clack.

JayJay no longer existed. He was alone in a cell, with no human contact, unable to defend himself.

Clack.

The silence gave way to his paranoia and he shut his eyes tightly, waiting for what was to come. The door swung open in JayJay's cell. Neji's eyes snapped open.

Authoresses' Note

I'm sorry this chapter took a little longer to be posted - I was a little stuck for ideas at one point and didn't want to release a half-assed chapter.

In case no one understands what's up with Jessi, she's losing her mind; she's a paranoid schizophrenic. No, this isn't the final time you'll see her, but she isn't going to write diary entries anymore. Instead, her story is going to be shown in third person like the rest of the stories.

I wanted to advance Shiina's plot quite a bit in this chapter, so there's a longer part for her. The next chapter is going to have some cool shit going on, along with a little bit of sexual content.

Thanks a lot for sticking with me and for the reviews. To the anonymous reviewers that I get on this story every so often, you guys are the best. It's very kind of you to write a little something on how you like it and stuff. I appreciate all reviews :)

Until next time, I will try to release something very soon, by the end of March at the latest. I'd love a few reviews as I'm preparing the next chapter, for a little motivation and good feelz. Thanks, guys!