Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or Radiohead. It bothers me too.

A/N: Okay, this I have to say is the reason why I decided to do this collection. This song SCREAMS Crellie in my mind (you'll get it after you hear the song), and I'm really proud of the finished product. This is considered the band's "scariest" song, so I figured I would do an oneshot that was fitting. Taken place while Craig is in rehab. Also, this is a bit fantastical, so you've been warned. As always, read, review and enjoy!

"Climbing Up the Walls"; OK Computer

Ellie was typing away at her computer, completely immersed into the task at hand when she felt a chill run down her back. Pausing briefly, she turned, seeing Marco a few steps away. Gasping, she grabbed her chest. "Don't do that!" She tried to steady her breath, shaking her head. "Why do you insist on lurking in the shadows. It's weird."

Marco rolled his eyes, handing her a glass of water. "I'm not the one with all the lights off, sitting in the dark at 2am." He leaned over her shoulder, trying to read what she was working on. "Shouldn't you be getting some sleep?"

Ellie scoffed. "Shouldn't you be minding your own business?" She cocked an accusing eye, looking back at the computer. "Look, I have to finish this before class tomorrow." She could tell Marco was rolling his eyes as she spoke, ignoring the urge to ram him with her chair. "I don't have to be there until after 11, so I'll get a quick nap before, okay?" She turned, finding a grimace on his face. "What?"

Marco shrugged, perching on the table beside her computer. "It's just you've been not getting much sleep in a few weeks. Call me crazy, but I'm just concerned, is all." He leaned over, giving her a peck on the forehead. "As soon as you're finished, get some sleep." He took away the cup of coffee off the table. "And no more coffee for the rest of the night. You're gonna get sick if you keep at it."

Ellie chuckled. "Yes, Mom." She held up her glass of water. "Thanks for this." She patted his hand, watching him walk up the stairs. "Night."

"Later, sweets." As Ellie heard Marco close the door to her room, she inwardly cursed him for stealing her coffee, it was the only thing keeping her from shutting her eyes. She drank the rest of the water, but she knew it was helpless, she would have to go to bed now.

After brushing her teeth, she hopped in bed, turning toward the window. She could just make out the moon through the curtains, trying to see if it was bigger than it was the previous night. She had made a habit of staring at the moon, making faces and shapes from it, anything to distract her from sleep. She remembered when sleep was one of her few solaces, now being one her most dreaded excursions. She fought sleep at every turn, desperate to deflect any need for it, but when she was very nearly on the verge of collapsing, she caught a few winks, never failing to be faced with thoughts and images of the apparition that haunted her dreams as well as her sober state, Craig Manning. Like every night, hIS lone figure stood before her, just as welcoming as he was foreboding.

I am the key to the lock in your house
That keeps your toys in the basement
And if you get too far inside
You'll only see my reflection

Craig walked back to his desk, scribbling in his notebook when a nurse opened the door. "Checks."

Craig waved, seeing that it was one of the nicer nurses. She had always brought Craig comic books that her son had left when he went to college earlier that season. He wasn't much into the books, but it was a nice distraction from the same pale walls that felt more like a tomb. "Hey Rachel."

"Hey Craig. You better get some sleep now. You have a 8:30 group meeting." She gave him a gentle smile, closing the door.

Craig continued to look at the door, trying to remember what his own mother was like. She had died when he was twelve, but with everything that had happened over the years, certain things about her seemed to fade. He could see her vividly in his dreams, but there were times when he forgot the way she used to smile or how she used to laugh when they went out together. He liked to think that she was thoughtful like the nurse, always thinking of others and treating everyone as their own, but he just missed having someone around he could talk to.

He turned off the desk light, feeling sleep take over his limbs as he willed himself to his bed. The medication that he was under made his sleep pattern erratic, either making him extremely drowsy in the morning or up at all hours in the night. He tried to face another night of restless sleep, finding the moon in the sky a singular comfort. He watched as it seemed to sway in the night sky, the clouds forming a cocoon of vapor, trapping the glow, lightly spreading it down below. He imagined himself free from these walls, out on the open sea, slowly drifting far away, nothing but the wind as a constant companion. He closed his eyes, desperate to find some hope of survival, not willing to conceive the notion that he would have to face another three month stretch inside. He had dreams of fighting, struggling to come undone from the stray jacket that was invisible, but always there.

In the pit of his fears, he imagined never leaving, forever imprisoned for the wrong that he did onto others on the outside. He seldom wanted to accept the comic books from Rachel or the care packages that Joey and Angie often sent, feeling unworthy. But what he struggled the most with was the dreams that would soon take over his mind. The dreams that haunted him in his waken state and chased him down. He would usually wake with a start, no need for alarms anymore because the face that greeted him was one that he beloved, but felt revolted by. Her face was the constant reminder of his deeds, the misfortunes that his life had resulted to, and consumed every facet of his mind. He found himself longing to be with her, the one that he let go away, but Ellie Nash wasn't just his best friend, she was the dream that he couldn't seem to shake, the island that he couldn't seem to leave.

It's always best when the light is off
I am the pick in the ice
Do not cry out or hit the alarm
You know we're friends till we die

Ellie stared out ahead, seeing his figure in the distance. She reached out to him, wanting to touch him and afraid to at the same time. He smirked at her, beckoning her like a siren, trying to trap her in his web of deceit and lies. She felt drawn to him like a moth to the flame, but something was holding her back. Could have been fear or the knowledge that he wasn't real that made her keep her distance, but when she turned to run away, she found him in her path again. He crossed his arms, a small smile on his face. "Why are you running, Nash?"

Ellie shook her head. "You aren't real. You're fake. You don't exist." She tried to say what she felt, aching to tell him that he hurt her, but she needed to be logical. "You don't exist."

Craig put his hand over his chest, mockingly whimpering. "Well, that's just plain rude. I feel real. I'm talking. Seem real enough to me." He walked toward her, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I can do that, right? If I didn't exist, I couldn't do that."

Ellie closed her eyes, trying to make him disappear. "You don't exist."

Craig pulled away. "Stop saying that. You're only making me feel bad."

Ellie backed off him, feeling a wall on her back. "You can't feel anything." She tried to hold back the tears, not letting Dream Craig see her cry.

He walked up to her, taking her hands. "Why don't you trust me?" He pulled her closer, making him tower over her. "I'm gonna be here for you. I'm not going anywhere." He smiled down on her, trying to put her at ease, but Ellie found it far more demonic than a comfort.

And either way you turn
I'll be there

Craig looked at Ellie, finding her more beautiful every night her saw her, standing in the same shirt he saw her wearing at the airport. He couldn't shake the image of her, leaving in a tearful haze, desperate to distance herself from him. He walked up to her, trying to touch her, but she backed away. He ran a little faster, trying to make a fast approach, but she was just that faster at moving further away. "Why are running, Nash?"

Ellie smiled coyly, shaking her head. "I'm not telling. You have to guess."

Craig rolled his eyes, already fed up with the ridiculous tricks his mind was playing. He wanted to touch her, feel her breath, have something tangible to know that she existed, that he wasn't losing mind. He moved quickly, catching her hand. He pulled her toward him, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. He watched it fall through his fingers, watching how the dark room seemed to only hold the light in her hair. She smiled up at him, seemingly mischievous as she pulled away from him. She tried to run again, but Craig stopped her. He pulled her closer. "Why won't you let me stay with you?"

Ellie shrugged. "Maybe I don't want to be caught. How do I know you'll stick around? How do I know I can trust you?"

Craig backed away, letting her go. "I don't know." He closed his eyes, trying to figure out what to do when Dream Ellie stood beside him.

"I hope you do figure it out. I won't always be here." She took his hand, pulling him down the dark room. She looked back at him, a small smirk on her lips. "But I'm here now. Prove me wrong."

Craig felt a lump in his throat, trying to form words, anything that would make her stay. "You're always here, Ellie. You'll always be around."

Open up your skull
I'll be there
Climbing up the walls

Ellie pushed herself away from Dream Craig, trying to run along the wall. She could feel his eyes on the back of her neck, hungrily watching her as she tried to escape. When she reached the end, she found herself trapped in a corner. She watched as he walked toward her, shaking his head. "When are you gonna learn? I'm here. I exist. It's not the worst thing in the world."

Ellie pushed him away. "Don't you think I know that?! I don't want to see you. I don't want to ever look at you again. But you're here. You're always here!" She fell down on the ground, burying her face in hands. She weeped for refuge, an escape clause from the sudden doom of a dream, a path of solitude to freedom. "Just stay away from me."

Dream Craig shook his head. "But I can't. I can't leave you."

Ellie wiped her face. "Why?"

Craig shrugged, gesturing to dark room. "As much as you want me to leave, I can't because you don't want me to." He crossed his arms, standing close beside her. "I'm like this dark room, a secret in the back of your mind that you can't seem to find the light. Until you can put me away on a shelf, I'm gonna keep coming after you."

It's always best when the light is off
It's always better on the outside

Dream Ellie snorted at Craig's suggestion. "You can't keep me, Craig. I'm not yours to have." She walked away, a door magically appearing at the far end of the room.

Craig stood, running to the door before she got to it. He blocked it, lunging at her. "You can't leave me here."

Ellie crossed her arms. "Why not? This is your prison, not mine." She tried to move away from him, reaching the doorknob.

Craig pushed her back. "This is your prison just as much as mine. I want to be with you."

Ellie chuckled. "No you don't. You chose Manny, remember. I'm second rate, your Plan B. Manny dumped you and now you think you can have me. I don't want you. You had your chance." She stomped away, trying to find another exit.

"But I had it wrong!" He screamed after her as she moved further away. "I thought I wasn't good enough for you. I wasn't the amazing guy you thought I was. I was this asshole who thought he was someone special because he had a few gigs. But the truth was, I was afraid of you."

Dream Ellie halted. "Afraid of me?" She turned, seemingly apprehensive. "Why?"

Craig sat down, not willing to look at her. "I don't know. I guess I never wanted to disappoint you, ruin what I had with you."

"So you used drugs?" She crossed her arms, looking unmoved. "I don't understand you, Manning."

Craig stood up, feeling a wave of hatred for the artificial Ellie. "What makes you think you're better than me? You cut... that's hurting yourself!" He threw his hands in the air, trying to relieve the tension that seemed to build. "We're the same, you and I. We hurt ourselves, trying not to hurt others, but we still seem to."

Ellie turned away, not willing to look at him. "When have I ever hurt you?"

Craig chuckled, shaking his head. "The moment I knew I would never be good enough for you and that you couldn't accept me."

Ellie ran to him, hitting him constantly on his head. "You idiot!" She continued to hit him across the head, not letting up. "I would have accepted you no matter what. You never let me in!" She hit him more, crying as she threw punch after punch.

Fifteen blows to the back of your head
Fifteen blows to your mind

Ellie crawled up in the corner, trying to make Dream Craig disappear. "You don't exist. You don't exist."

Craig rolled his eyes again. "Here we go again."

Ellie looked up, screaming. "What do you want me to do, than?"

Craig folded his arms, staring at her as if the answer was obvious. "You already know what to do. You have to let me go. If you want me to leave, I'll leave. But you don't want me to, do you?"

Ellie sniffled, seemingly confused. "I do want you to leave. I told you to leave for the past three weeks. Every night, it's the same thing. You tell me to tell you to leave and you stay around. Why won't you leave me alone?"

Craig shrugged. "Because you don't want me to leave." He took a seat next to her on the ground, taking her hand. "I don't want to leave you either. But you have to be willing to let me go. If I leave, I won't come back."

Ellie looked at Dream Craig, feeling her chest ache with grief. She found him only more beautiful than in reality. He seemed flawless with his cheekbones, chiseled into a smile that made her weak in the knees. He reached for her, taking her in his arms. She breathed in his dreamlike state, remembering the few times she was close enough to smell his cologne or the times when he let her wear his jacket if it got too cold. She wanted his scent to surround her forever, but she had to let him go. She couldn't continue to torture herself over a guy that constantly hurt her. She tried to guard her heart from pain, but as he warmed the coldest parts of her soul, she only divulged the presence of him more.

So lock the kids up safe tonight
Put the eyes in the cupboard

Craig pushed Dream Ellie away. "Stop hitting me!"

Ellie laughed out loud. "Why? I can't give you a little pain back from all the hurt you've given me?" She pushed him, trying to get a rise out of him. "Come on, Manning? You're not so tough now, are you? You can't hide behind your lies now. It's just you and me here. No one can protect you here." She shook her head. "And to think I cared about you."

Craig closed his eyes again, willing for her to stop. "Just shut up!"

"Why? So you can pretend that whatever you did outside of your... what do you call it again? Oh yeah, 'prison', will magically disappear. It doesn't work like that, Craig. You have to prove to me, prove to yourself that you want to be better." She walked up to him, nudging his shoulder until he looked up at her. "You think you're not good enough for me?"

Craig shook his head. "I'm not."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "What does it have to take to get you to see that you are! You said so yourself, remember? We're the same. If you want to be with me as much as you seem to think so, than why don't you prove to me that you're worthy. What do I have to do to make you realize that you are?"

Craig looked down, unsure how long his mind would continue to play this game. "Forgive me."

Ellie crossed her arms. "Just like that?"

Craig sighed exasperatedly. "What do you want from me?!"

Ellie looked at him expectantly. "Isn't it obvious?" She walked toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Craig could smell her lightly scented soap, not perfume. He had always liked that she didn't wear perfume like Manny or Ashley, just her clean body. He sniffed the air, trying to hold onto the artificial smell, lingering in the air.

I've got the smell of a local man
Who's got the loneliest feeling

"I'm sorry I ever hurt you. I'm sorry I didn't give us a chance when I wasn't screwed up... well, less screwed up. I'm sorry I chose Manny over you. I'm sorry I didn't say sorry before now. I'm sorry that I can't really smell you, really touch you. I'm sorry that I may never be able too. And I'm sorry that I can't really apologize, knowing that you're something only my mind's eye can see." He looked down at Dream Ellie, holding her close, willing himself to not tear her away.

Ellie felt Dream Craig move away from her, spreading the cold from the room all over her body. She opened her eyes. "Where are you going?"

Craig looked down at her with pleading eyes. "Don't let me go, Ellie. I don't want to leave you." He took her hands, pulling her up. "We can make it. We can stay together just like this."

Ellie pulled away. "This isn't real, Craig. We're not together and we certainly can't be like this. I have to move on."

Craig shook his head. "No... we can be together. You and me. I promise, I'll take care of you and I'll be there for you. I'll stop hurting you, you'll see."

Ellie felt the tears form, willing them not to fall. "I can't continue to live like this. Dreaming you're here when you're not."

Craig frowned. "But it doesn't have to be that way. We can be together... out there." He looked upward, smiling. "Give me another chance. I can be better. I can make you happy. I can be everything you need, just give me that chance."

Ellie turned away, not able to look his way. "I've given you too many chances. I can't be with you. I can't let you hurt me again and again." She faced him again, feeling weak as she looked at him, even in her dream state, he still found a way to take her breath away. "We're not real. This isn't real."

Dream Craig walked up to her, taking her hand and kissing it. He pulled her closer, kissing her temple and kissing her cheek, slowly leading to her lips. He kissed her gently, not savagely, but hungrily. He held her closely, not leaving her side. "I may not be real. Not like this." He pulled away slightly, taking his hand to her chest. "But I'm here. I own your heart and you own mine."

That either way he turns
I'll be there

Craig continued to hold Dream Ellie, determined that if he said those words, that she would somehow be real and that this wouldn't be a dream. The same dream he had for weeks. They all started the same, all ended the same. He would have a fight with her, she would hit him, he would apologize and she would still leave. She would constantly leave like he always did. He always left her behind, never considering how she felt, what she needed or the fact that he needed her as much as she needed him. He thought that tonight might be different, somehow the tide would turn and she would stay.

Ellie looked up, smiling gently. "Wake up, Craig."

Craig shook his head. "Why bother? There's nothing good out there. Just the same plain white walls filled of empty dreams and blank futures."

She chuckled. "How poetic?" She looked up with a quizzical brow. "I'm out there. I'm right out those four walls." She took his hand, leading to a window that suddenly appeared. "You can walk with me under the trees out there. You can talk to me out there, be with me out there. You can let me in."

Craig shook his head. "You wouldn't want me to take you there. You deserve better than that."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Stop telling me what you think I need! You haven't been right yet, so stop trying to make those decisions for me." She walked away from the window, leaving Craig to continue to stare out. He saw the small pond that was near the building. A few trees surrounded it, making it look serene among the stark ivory towers that stood any a few yards away.

"I just want to be good enough for you. I'm a coke head. I'm nuts. Why would you ever want to be with someone like me."

Ellie shrugged. "I can't answer that question for you. You have to go out there and find out. That's why I'm always leaving you. You hide away in here, thinking that these little false moments with me will suffice for the real thing out there. I'm not always gonna be here. And I won't always be out there either." She took hold of his hands, squeezing them. "You have to get better. You have to or you'll never know for sure."

Open up your skull
I'll be there

Ellie twisted and turned, jumping up in her bed. She blinked her eyes, taking in her surroundings. She could make out the closet and her chair. She looked to see the moon, seeing that it was pitch black outside like in the strange room from her dream. She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to calm her racing heart. She felt sweat down her neck, throwing off the covers as she raced to the bathroom. She splashed some cool water on her face, feeling her body shake all over. She heard a knock at the door, but she was fearful to open it. "Ellie, it's me." She sighed when she recognized the voice.

She opened the door, revealing a worried Marco. "Hey, is everything okay?"

Ellie crossed her arms defensively. "Yeah, why?"

Marco stepped inside, looking around. "I just heard you muttering kinda loudly, that's all. Something about 'Stay away' and like 'Don't go'. Just wondered if you were alright."

Ellie tensed up, slightly ashamed. "I'm fine. Thanks anyway." She smiled, trying to reassure him she was okay. "Just had a bad dream, is all."

Marco nodded. "I was gonna get some water. You want anything?"

"No, I'm fine." She followed Marco to the door, planting a kiss on his cheek. "Thanks, as always."

Marco took her hand, patting it softly. "All in a day's work." He chuckled, closing the door behind him.

Ellie walked back to her bathroom, pouring herself some water and drinking it slowly. She sighed, looking outside the window, still feeling trapped in her own dream. She knew she had to let Craig go, but there was something holding her back. It was as if something needed for her to hold out just a little longer. She chuckled, finding herself taking her dreams too seriously. "You really need to get out more."

Climbing up the walls

Craig woke up with a start, breathing faster than he ever had in his life. He felt his heart racing so fast that his ears started ringing, causing him to shake with anxiety. He rubbed his face, trying to shake whatever beating his dream did to his mind. "What the hell am I doing?" He asked himself that question far too many times to count, never quite able to come to terms with the answer. He thought if he could just stay in his fantasy, be with Ellie, that everything would work itself out. He stood up, walking over to the window and taking a seat. He watched the moon hide behind the clouds again, playing a game of masquerade as the sky seemed to be dimmer from hours before. He felt trapped in his own skin, aching to break free from the demons that lurked in his mind, clinging to a hope that there was something greater out there on the other side.

He wanted Ellie more and more everyday and the dreams were only a reminder of how chaotic his life was becoming. He had reached rock bottom, having lost her but he knew that if he ever got out and still couldn't have her, he would never be able to truly rise above. He looked at the clock across the room. 4:00. He had been asleep for two hours, figuring that if he went back to sleep, he might get a few more hours, maybe a few more precious, artificial moments with her again. He fed off those small moments in his psyche when he could hold her, unlike he had in reality and soak up her light for just a little while. He could pretend that he was not ill, not crazy and somehow able to call her his own. But the moments seemed less and less real over the weeks, finding it more difficult to live on that alone and as he ached to see her again, he felt weaker because of it. A surge of strength ran through Craig's body as he walked across the room, digging in his pants pocket. A smile played on this lips as he found what he was looking for, walking toward the door. As he got closer to the end of the hall, he checked to see if the coast was clear. Relieved, he made one last stitch effort to make things right.

Climbing up the walls

Ellie opened the window, taking in the fresh air and hoping it would clear her senses. She had tried to go back to sleep twice more, but with no prevail. She had given up, prompting to sit by the window, hoping the fresh air would make her drowsy. She had heard Marco go back to his room a few moments before, sure that he was in dreamland where Dream Craigs didn't exist. She envied him for having Dylan in his life, knowing where he stood and even though she had someone who cared about her, she knew better than anyone that he wasn't who followed her in her dreams.

She walked to her bed again, hoping that this would be the time she could finally sleep. She closed her eyes, relieved that there was no Craig, but feeling slightly let down there wasn't. He had been such a staple of her dreams in the past few weeks, always there with a comforting smile, no matter how she felt about it. She could predict every outcome of the dreams. He would taunt her, make her admit that she didn't want him to leave her alone when she always said she did. She wanted him to be real, not some figment of her cruel imagination, creating weird scenarios where he would be there, waiting with open arms to comfort her. But who was she kidding? She knew that Craig was self-absorbed, trying to get his life together. He needed to, she had only wished he would be doing it partially for her.

As she felt herself reaching her first REM cycle, the phone rang. She heard Marco mumbling something in the other room, but reached out for the phone before he did. "Hello?"

Craig tensed up, nearly hanging up. But he smiled, gently whispering. "Hey."

Ellie sat up with a start, checking to see if she was awake. She slapped her face, blinking her eyes repeatedly. "Craig?"

Craig chuckled. "Yeah. Hey."

Ellie looked at the caller ID, not recognizing the phone number. "Why are you calling me?"

Craig felt a lump in his throat, fearing that he made a huge mistake. "I shouldn't have called. It's really late. I'm sorry."

"Wait!" Ellie sat up completely, folding her legs. "Why did you call?" She closed her eyes, trying to not freak out and hang up the phone.

Craig took a deep breath. "I just wanted to hear your voice. Can you talk?"

Ellie nearly questioned that herself. How or why was Craig calling her? Why now? And if this wasn't a dream, why did Ellie find herself more present and somehow relieved? "Yeah, I can talk."

Climbing up the walls

Okay.... I know that was weird. But it's a strange song, so I hope you liked it. Tell me your thoughts!!! And as always, look out for more soon!