Peanut butter experiment: Failed miserably! The blender... It took an hour to get all the mush out of it... My dad got pretty pissed too. Conclusion: Peanuts and butter in a blender makes a strange tasting butter, but the blender will either get thrown out or spend 3 hours getting cleaned! Remember that! My next experiment: Does mixing Mentos and Diet Coke really work? I'll let you know in the next chapter...
--LINE--
The Ichiraku family was happy. Why were they happy? Because Naruto and Lee had suddenly entered the restaurant and ordered a bowl of ramen each, telling the two to keep them coming. They'd also drawn quite a crowd. They were both on their eighteenth bowl and didn't seem to wanna quit any time soon.
After the twentieth bowl, a huge gathering of people were standing outside the ramen stand, taking bets on who would give up first.
Naruto lost. He could've continued, but right in the middle of his twenty fifth bowl, he'd heard giggling coming from outside. He'd turned around and peered through the crowd to see Misao and Gaara walking past the ramen stand. Gaara had his arm wrapped around Misao's waist. Naruto could live with that. He saw red though, when he saw Gaara lean in and kiss his sister on the cheek. He spit out his ramen, paid for it and unsealed his Bo staff.
"You bastard! Unhand my sister!" he roared as he ran out of the ramen stand, swinging his staff around wildly. Gaara turned and spotted Naruto. A robotic voice sounded in his head.
'Hand around Threat's sister, Threat swings a metal staff, Threat has slitted red eyes that are burning with rage... Processing new information... Best possible way to diffuse situation: RUN!'
Gaara quickly let go of Misao and took off like a bat out of hell. Naruto growled as he ran past Misao. Kushina walked up to her, popping out from an alley.
"My father reacted like that when Minato and I were dating." she said and sighed with a smile. "This is so nostalgic. Father chased Minato up our flagpole and then sat down, waiting for five hours for Minato to come down and 'face him like a man.'"
"But why does he act like that?" Misao asked as she saw Naruto bat Kiba into a wall for standing in his way. "You'd think he's jealous or something..." she said before her eyes widened. "You don't think he's... into incest, do you"
Kushina stared at Misao incredulously.
"What?! No! You just don't understand men, Misao. I actually think it would've been better if you'd met Naruto after you lost your virginity..."
"W-What?! Why?"
"Because, right now, Naruto thinks of you as his sweet, innocent little sister." Kushina said with a smile. "It's hard to understand men. Just like it's hard for men to understand women, but I do know that as long as he can, he's going to be your living, breathing chastity belt." she said and grinned when she heard Misao sigh in annoyance. "Come on. Let's go home. Let them run until they're tired."
--Namikaze Compound--
"Come down from there, Gaara! I'm not gonna hurt you!" Naruto shouted, sitting under a flagpole, on top of which, Gaara was located.
'This is quite the predicament I've gotten myself into... I could try to use my sand, but he'd either beat me up, or Misao would... Or both... Shukakku? You got any ideas?'
"Nope..."
'Damn...'
"Aniki! What are you doing?!" Misao shouted as she and Kushina got back, only to see Naruto sharpening a kunai.
"Me? I'm just playing a game of tag with Gaara." Naruto said with a sweet smile on his face.
"Help... me..." Gaara pleaded from his spot on top of the flagpole.
"Now, now, Gaara-kun. You're acting a lot less like a man than I thought you would." Kushina said as she stared up at the redhead.
"Yeah, but you haven't been beaten by his drunken bear before... You try getting knocked out cold by a giant barstool and then not cower like I am..." Gaara said with a groan, his pride severely damaged from his girlfriend seeing him in the position he was in.
"Aniki!" Misao shouted, glaring at Naruto. "You better let him down right now!"
"Or?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Or I'll tell Lee that you want to challenge him." Misao said with a smirk. Naruto ran home quicker than any of them could follow.
--The next day--
Naruto sat on a bench at Namikaze training ground 3, just minding his own business while supervising Misao's training, when Tsunade suddenly sat down next to him.
"Ah, ohayo, Baa-chan!" he exclaimed when he saw the blond Hokage. "I'm surprised you have enough free time to get out of the office."
"When it comes to visiting my family, I do. Now, Naruto. I have a proposition for you." Tsunade said, making Naruto raise an eyebrow.
"Proposition?"
"Yes. Jiraiya has been thinking about retiring and focus all of his time on writing, and we need someone to take up his spy network. If you do that, you'll be able to take over his position as the Toad sannin." Tsunade said, causing Naruto's eyes to widen.
"W-What?!"
Tsunade nodded.
"Yes. We need a new generation of sannins. Those sannins will be you, Shizune and Anko, seeing as they are currently the holders of the contracts. If you do take up the mantle of sannin, you will immediately be promoted to jounin and, on the battlefield, you'll be the commander, outranked only by me."
"That's a big responsibility." Naruto said with a hand on his chin. "I'll do it."
"Great, then I'll just-" Tsunade started, only to be interrupted by Naruto, who held up his hand.
"But not yet."
"What?"
"I want to go to Mt. Myouboku and train with the toads first." Naruto said as he got up. "That's is something I have to do. I won't take on the title of sannin until I have proudly earned my sennin headband."
By sennin headband, he was referring to the Oil headband Jiraiya had received when he finished his studies in Mt. Myouboku.
"Ero-Ojiji said that I'll have to find it myself if I want training in the Senpou (Hermit arts). So, with your permission, I wish to head out as soon as possible."
Tsunade got up with a smile.
"Leave when you're ready, Naruto, but hurry up. I feel like something bad is going to happen soon."
"So do I." Naruto said as he gave Tsunade a hug before walking over to Misao. "Imotou."
Misao stopped meditating and looked up at her brother.
"What the matter, Aniki?"
"I have to leave again." Naruto said, making Misao's eyes widen.
"What?! But you just got back!"
"I know, but I have more training to do. If you want more training, ask Ero-Ojiji to supervise it." Naruto said and walked off.
He walked through the compound until he got to his house.
"Ladies!" he shouted. Seeing that no one was home, he just wrote a quick note before heading off.
--3 weeks later--
'This is useless...' Naruto thought as walked through the forest on the outskirts of Kami knows where. Naruto had been wandering around for 3 weeks and he was completely lost, he had run out of supplies and he was exhausted. 'I... I can't take anymore...' he thought as he collapsed, his vision fading.
--12 hours later--
Naruto woke up to the sound of a cricket chirping. He opened his eyes to find that he was laying in the exact same spot as before, only it was night time now. Suddenly, a splat sound was heard, followed by the immediate seize of cricket chirping.
'I guess there's a hungry toad somewhere around here...' he thought and was about to close his eyes, before they widened. 'T-Toad!' he shouted in his mind and started crawling in the direction of the sound. He looked over a bush to see a plain toad croaking at him. The strange thing was that the toad was black and slightly larger than your average toad.
"A-Are you from Mt. Myouboku?" Naruto asked with hope in his voice. The toad just croaked, making Naruto sigh. "Of course not..."
The toad jumped up to Naruto and turned his head to the right, before hopping in that direction. Naruto, having nothing better to do, followed it.
--15 minutes later--
"Are you just pulling my leg or something?" Naruto asked as he crawled through a thick bush. Suddenly, he noticed that it was day time. "What the hell?" he asked out loud and looked up to see a huge mountain. "Mt. Myouboku..."
He noticed something that made him sigh. The way up was a long road that spiraled up the mountain.
'Crap...'
--After a long and gruesome walk--
Naruto finally got to the top of the mountain, only to collapse from exhaustion. An old, cloak wearing toad with bushy, gray eyebrows and a beard hopped up to him.
"Oh? A youngster, huh? Let me see here..." he said and held up Naruto's head so he could get a good look at his face. "So, this is Jiraiya-chan's grandson, huh? Ma!"
Another old, cloak wearing toad, this one a female, wearing some kind of black hat, jumped up to him.
"What's the matter, Pa? Oh, a youngster! How nice!" she exclaimed as she looked Naruto over. "He's cute too."
"It's Jiraiya-chan's grandson, Ma." Pa said with a smile, making Ma's eyes widen.
"Oh, a Senju comes to us, huh? Well, I guess we should take him home and let him rest. Gamakichi!" she shouted.
"What?!" came a voice from behind the bushes.
"One of your friends is here to see you, but he's exhausted and we need to take him home!"
Gamakichi, a lot bigger than two years ago, hopped into view to see the blond.
"Oh, Naruto?! He's come here for training?! Wait until Dad hears about this!" he exclaimed and picked up Naruto, before putting the blond on his head.
--The next day--
Naruto woke up, surprised to find himself in a bed.
"Good morning, Naruto-chan." said an elderly voice. Naruto turned to see an old toad with big, gray eyebrows, a beard and a small patch of hair on his head smiling at him. The toad turned to the doorway. "Ma! He's awake!"
"Coming!" come an elderly female's voice.
"How do you know my name?" Naruto asked as he sat up. The toad smiled.
"Jiraiya-chan, Gamakichi and Gamabunta has told us everything about you, Naruto-chan. I am Fukasaku."
"And I'm Shima." a female toad said as she entered the room with a steaming bowl of soup in her hands. "Eat up. You must be hungry."
Naruto grabbed the bowl and noticed that the food consisted of insects. Shrugging, he started eating. He was really hungry. Once he'd gotten over the fact that he was eating insects, he noticed that it was actually really good. He finished to soup and placed the bowl on the nightstand next to the bed.
"Ah, that was really good. Thank you, Shima-sama." he said with a bow, making the old toad laugh.
"Now, now, Naruto-chan. There's no need to bow to us." she said, getting a nod from Naruto.
"You are the toad elders, right?" he asked, and at their nods, he continued. "Well, I came here for training in the Hermit arts, and I'd be really grateful if you took me as your student."
Fukasaku chuckled.
"Well, you did eat Ma's food, even though it wasn't really human food, and we already knew you'd come here sooner or later. Do you think you're ready for our training? It'll be hard."
"I'm ready." Naruto said with a nod.
"Good." Fukasaku said with a nod. "Then we'll take you to the Elder toad. He's the one who has to approve of you."
Naruto nodded and got up, hitting his head in the low ceiling.
"Yeah, sorry. I kinda forgot to tell you that..." Fukasaku said with a sweatdrop forming on his head when he saw Naruto writhing on the ground.
(Is it me, or does hitting your head like that hurt more that getting punched in the face?)
--At the toad temple--
Naruto was on his knees in front of a huge toad that looked just about to fall over and die. He was wrinkly and wore a pearl necklace with the kanji for Oil on it.
"Oh, so this is young Naruto, huh?" he asked with a smile. "I've heard so much about him. Gamakichi-chan speaks so highly of him. When is he coming to meet us?"
"Naruto-chan is here right now, Elder toad." Fukasaku said tiredly, sitting on the Elder toad's right side.
"Oh, that was quick." the Elder toad said, making Fukasaku, Shima and Naruto sweatdrop. "So, this is the one you want to train?"
"Yes, it is, Elder." Shima said with a nod. "Do we have your permission?"
"Of course, of course. It's not any of my business who you want to train." the Edler said, making Shima sigh.
"Yes, it is, Elder."
"Oh, right!" the Elder said, nodding to himself. "Well, you have my permission anyway. Now, when is the young Naruto coming here?"
"He's right here, Elder! You've already given us permission to teach him!" Fukasaku growled with a vein pumping in his forehead.
"Oh, right, right... Well, dismissed. I must await young Naruto."
Naruto was just about to open his mouth, when Fukasaku jumped down next to him.
"Don't even bother, Naruto-chan. When he's like this, he'll never stop."
Naruto just nodded as he followed Fukasaku outside.
Soon enough, they were sitting in front of a waterfall that consisted of oil. Naruto had decided not to wear his coat for now.
"Now, Naruto... We searched your belongings when you were asleep, and judging by the sake, the playing cards and the panties we found sealed inside your scrolls, you practically worship the three taboos of a ninja..."
Naruto had the decency to blush.
"But you're not allowed to do any of the three while training under me, understood?"
"Of course." Naruto said with a nod.
"Good. Now, what do you know about nature chakra?" Fukasaku asked, raising one of his mega eyebrows. Naruto put a hand on his chin.
"Well.. Ero-Ojiji told me that, in order to use Senjutsus, you need to be able to harness it. He wouldn't tell me how to do it, since that's your job. Basically, it's the exact opposite of regular chakra, right?"
"Correct." Fukasaku said with a nod. "Nature chakra is just that. Nature's chakra. Now, being of the Senju clan, I think you might have an easier time harnessing it. How good is your chakra control, Naruto?"
"Excellent." Naruto said, making Fukasaku smile.
"Good. Then I don't think you have to use the same training method Jiraiya-chan had to use when he first started." Fukasaku said and gestured for the waterfall. "This is toad oil. It's a natural... let's call it magnet to Nature chakra. It's a good way to start training, but if you have excellent chakra control, you should be able to gather it on your own."
"But how do you gather it?"
"You have to be perfectly in tune with nature and be completely still. In order to make sure of that, we will train over there." Fukasaku said and pointed at a pair of tall stalagmites about a hundred yards away. "Follow me."
--15 minutes later--
"This is a lot harder than I thought..." Naruto muttered as he sat on a flat stone that was balancing on one of the stalagmites. Next to him, Fukasaku was sitting on the same kind of stone on his own stalagmite.
"Calm down, Naruto-chan. Just close your eyes and relax."
Naruto did as he was told and soon enough, without that much concentration, he managed to balance on the stalagmite.
"Now you're ready to collect the Nature chakra." Fukasaku said with a proud smile. It had taken Jiraiya a lot longer to even balance on the stalagmite. "Just feel it around you. You can, can't you?"
"I think so." Naruto said as he concentrated, feeling some kind of energy moving in the air, though he couldn't really recognize it as chakra.
"Good. Gather the energy in your hands and contain it."
Naruto nodded and did what he was told. The chakra was hard to contain, though. When Naruto opened his eyes, he found that his hands had transformed into toad hands.
"Ah! What the hell?!" he shouted, only to get smacked in the back of the head, courtesy of Fukasaku's stick. 'I wondered why he brought that thing up here.'
He suddenly found that he lost balance and fell off the stalagmite, hitting the ground with a crunching sound. Fukasaku winced as he heard the sound and looked down.
"Um... Naruto-chan! I don't think your arm is supposed to bend that way..."
"You think?!"
--The next evening--
Naruto sat in Fukasaku's house, eating Shima's food with great enthusiasm.
"It's so nice to have someone eat my food like that." Shima said with a smile. "Just let me know if you want seconds."
Naruto, unable to speak because he was busy stuffing his mouth with food, just waved his hand, gesturing for more.
"Coming right up!"
"Naruto-chan." Fukasaku said as he looked at Naruto while sipping his tea. "Now that you have the control that you do, you should be able to enter Sennin Moodo (Hermit Mode). We will get to that tomorrow. Entering Sennin Moodo will enhance your strength, speed and agility, as well as greatly boosting the strength in your legs. Once you enter Sennin Moodo, I will teach you Gama-fu and Senjutsus. Eat up and Rest. I need you to be at your best tomorrow."
--In Konoha--
Anko, Kurenai, Mai, Gaara, Misao and Kushina were sitting at the dinner table in Naruto's house.
"I miss Naruto-kun..." Anko complained with a pout. "It's so boring around here without him... Why did Jiraiya-sama have to retire from his sannin duties?"
"Because he's getting old and wants to write that perverted crap he calls literature." Kushina said, making Naruto's wives blush.
"Now, now..." Anko said with a slight grin. "We have actually learned a lot from those books."
"What could you possibly have lear-" Kushina started, but stopped when she saw the blushes on the three's faces. "Oh..."
"By the way, Misao." Anko said as she turned to the girl. "You should go ahead and lose your virginity now when Naruto-kun is gone." she said, making Misao blush furiously.
"A-Anko-san!"
Gaara just sat there, listening to Shukaku's ranting.
"Come on, brat! This is the perfect chance to score! The goal is wide open!"
'This is not a game, and Misao is certainly not a goal!' Gaara shouted in his mind while Kushina put a hand on his chin.
"Actually, this would be a good opportunity for you two."
"Mom!"
--The next day, Mt. Myouboku--
"Are you ready for this, Naruto-chan?" Fukasaku asked, getting a nod from Naruto, who stood in front of him, his eyes turned into the same kind of eyes the toads had. 'He's reached further than anyone ever has in the Hermit arts.'
"I'm ready, Fukasaku-sensei."
"Good. We'll start with some jumping to get used to the ability boosts." Fukasaku said and jumped high up into the air, landing on top of one of the many toad statues in the clearing. Naruto braced himself before hopping after the toad, but used way too much force in it, resulting in him flying over the statue and landing on th other side.
"Try again!" Fukasaku ordered. Naruto nodded and jumped again, only this time, he didn't jump high enough. "Again!"
The day progressed like that. Naruto got better and better at Toad hopping.
"This is good, Naruto-chan!" Fukasaku shouted as he bounced off another statue with Naruto following. "You're making incredible progress!"
"Thanks, Fukasaku-sensei!" Naruto exclaimed as he flipped in the air to make sure his landing was perfect. "I can feel myself making progress."
"Now, let's start training Gama-fu!"
"Yes, sensei!"
--Done--
It's a short chapter, I know, but I wanted to cut here. In the next chapter, I'll be covering Naruto's training in the Hermit arts and his return home.
Until next time, this is ZnK, signing out!