It's the penultimate chapter to the penultimate chapter. The next one is going to jump forward a month or two and I've already got the first half written. Enjoy! :D

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or any of the characters.

Chapter 14 - It's Over

After a restless night sleep, Kate woke up and her first thoughts were of the words that were shared between her and Castle the night before. He'd been right, they needed to talk. Really talk to each other. She had been fooling herself that nothing was wrong, but she'd woken up just over a week ago in a hospital bed with Castle and Gina leaving together fresh in her mind. She'd been so incredibly mad and upset. She went home that night and couldn't decide whether to punch something or cry. Inevitably, it was the former as the latter would make her seem weak, not human. She had the same want to cry now and she almost did until she heard shuffling outside her door.

She heard Castle groan as though he'd just woken from a slumber and then she heard him speak.

"Wha-? What happened?"

She was sat on the edge of the bed now listening to him. It's not like he'd never eavesdropped on her several times. She could deduce that he wasn't alone when she heard the second, much softer voice of his daughter.

"Dad. Why are you sleeping in the hall? You have a bed upstairs."

"Me and Kate had a fight again. God, I hate it when this happens and it's always my fault. Last time we argued she kicked me out and told me we were over and at first I was so angry at her, but mostly at myself for walking away and letting her win."

Is this the fight that Alexis had mentioned at the hospital? Had she really told it was over? If she did, she must have been furious at him, much like when he opened her mother's case or undermined her when Damien Westlake was suspected of his wife's murder.

"I hate it when you both fight too. You always get that droopy look on your face as though the world is about to end. I can tell when something has happened because you stop being so chirpy and you stop talking about her. Do you realise how much you talk about her? Most of the time it's not even about a case. Kate said this today, Kate did that today. I'm eighteen years old, Dad, I'm not stupid and neither is everyone else. And you know full well that she wouldn't have made you go away forever. You two are just as bad as each other and you can't keep away."

"You're wiser than you look, you know." She heard him sigh. "I just don't want it to be over. Solving murder cases had given me something to do instead of going to wild parties and getting drunk. I've been happier these last few years than I have the rest of my life."

So had Kate. She'd had a fairly normal childhood until her mother was murdered. After that, she was miserable, dealing with guilt, grief and an alcoholic father. Castle had made everything easier and lightweight, even before the Precinct.

"What's made you happier? Solving cases, or your favorite detective?"

Kate heard him chuckle lightly through the wood of the door. "C'mere, Pumpkin. Love you."

"Love you too, Dad. I'll be waiting in the kitchen for my breakfast waffles, but right now, you have to get in there and talk to her. Although considering she's a detective, I wouldn't be surprised if she'd already heard us speaking."

There was the sound of shuffling in the hall and footsteps towards the kitchen. Then came a simple knock on the door.

"Kate? Can I come in?"

He opened the door and stuck his head around the edge to see if she was awake. For some reason, he wasn't the least bit surprised to see her sat against the headboard with her legs crossed looking back at him. She simply nodded for him to approach her.

"You were right, Castle. We need to talk." She patted the bed next to her and he sat where she indicated.

"I'm sorry." They said it at the same time and smiled at each other.

Kate looked down before speaking.

"When I woke up at the hospital, my first memory was of you walking away from me with Gina so you could take her to Hamptons. I was so angry at you, Castle. You just left and all you gave me was a handshake while I was trying to open up to you. I was trying to tell you that I wanted to come with you. I didn't want Tom Demming, I wanted you and you didn't want me."

"I always wanted you, Kate. You amaze me, every little bit of you. You heart, your strength..."

"My hotness? I remember, Castle."

They shared a smile before Castle carried on. "I asked you to come with the Hamptons with me so we could spend time together. I wasn't trying to get into your pants or your bed. When we first met, that was what I wanted. Last year, now even, I want so much more than that. I want all of you, Kate and I want you to feel the same way about me. I left because you were with Schlemming and it killed me. I saw you kiss him and it hit me that I wanted that with you and it scared me at first. I haven't felt feelings like that since, well, Kyra and look how that ended. But I came back and this time I'm not leaving. Not unless you want me to."

"I never want you to leave. I already said that I want you around when I catch my mom's killer, but it's more than that. I don't know why, and it scares me, but I always want you there, even if you're staring at me doing paperwork." She sighed and put her head on his shoulder. "There's something else I can recall about LA. After I went into my room, I didn't stay there." She turned towards him to look into his eyes. "I came back out, Castle, and you weren't there. I missed you, again. What is it with us and all these lost opportunities?"

He laughed quietly and took her hand in his. "I don't want to miss any more opportunities, Kate. You're more than just my muse, my Nikki Heat. You make me feel that I have something else to look forward to, apart from Alexis of course. When she's gone to Stanford, I'm going to be alone, so expect lots of takeaway, poker and movie nights. I wanna be with you, Kate, but we need to talk more about things. The kiss and the freezer for starters. You practically died in my arms and I wasn't far behind you. That was the scariest moment of my life, teamed with you almost getting blown up, both times, and Alexis being born. Don't get me wrong, I was over the moon at having a daughter, but it's terrifying. The prospect that you're going to do something terribly wrong, but I know now that she'd forgive me for anything and I'd do the same. I'd do it for you too."

He trailed off and stopped speaking, obviously lost in his thoughts. She found it cute. She loved the fact that he was a father, and a good one at that. Wait, love? Where did that come from? Hell, who was she kidding? She was in love with him. With memories had come the feelings and she was exhilerated by them, but petrified all the same. But she wasn't ready for that now. Not until she was better.

"You said we have to talk about the-"

"-kiss. Don't worry about that. Didn't forget. In fact I never forgot about it. You're contagious. I didn't set out to kiss you in the first place, but Ryan and Esposito were kidnapped and if Lockwood had heard shots, they would have been dead by the time we got there. Don't want that now, do we?" He winked at her and she smiled.

"No, definitely not. They're like brothers to me. Sometimes they're like little brothers who I get to order around and other times they're like older brothers who protect me. Actually, they threatened Demming and Josh. Demming understood, but Josh didn't understand. And from what I heard, you interrogated him a little, too."

He jerked his head back trying to look for an excuse. "Need to make sure that he was suitable for my muse. It didn't last long, though considering you'd only gone for your jacket and purse."

She was confused. She'd been talking about the encounter a few days ago when he and Lanie stormed out of the apartment, which ended in Josh getting a police escort out of the room after breaking up with him. Of course, she just had to ask.

"When was that? I was talking about your debacle a few days ago."

He immediately went bright red and tried to cover up.

"Oh, uh, you know. A few months ago, the first time he came to the Precinct, of course, he was surprised that we didn't know he even existed. Sorry about that, by the way. It was weird though, I was probing him for information and he's taller than me, and he had bigger muscles. Not that mine aren't strong of course. I'm a superhero in disguise, actually. They call me Writer Boy. Or Writer Monkey, you can thank Sorenson for that."

She laughed out loud at his humor. He looked so serious and yet he was acting like a nine year old again. "Oh, yeah and what's your weapon of choice?"

"I read to them. I read a gripping and thrilling story in a matter of seconds and the become transfixed while you beat on their ass."

"And what's your second weapon?"

"A razor sharp pen. Jab 'em enough times and I break a few ribs, they cry and confess all their sins."

"You'll need more than that to bring me down."

"Could always jab you with something else and I don't mean my finger."

He almost avoided her assault on his arm with a slap and they both burst out smiling. They'd been having a serious talk and had already reverted back to their usual banter.

They laughed together for a few minutes, joking about superheroes, when Castle revealed he had light sabers. Not surprising. When their laughter faded, Kate was half lying on Castle and he had his arm around her lovingly. They turned to face each other, and their residual grins disappeared. Castle started to lean in to kiss her, but she turned her head. It wasn't that she didn't want it to happen, she just couldn't do it now.

"No, Castle." She continued quickly after seeing his hurt look. "I don't mean never. In fact, I mean soon, but not now. I'm in constant pain, I've just been shot, and I have pretty bad amnesia, even if most of my memory has returned. Just give me some time. You'll know when." She squeezed his hand and leaned back against him. She felt him kiss her hair and rub his hand up and down her arm.

"As long as you're happy, Kate. You deserve to be happy." He repeated the words he'd said to her just two weeks ago and he still meant them, but this time, they weren't laced with anger, but with hope that one day she'd be happy because of him.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

She opened the door with her Glock in hand and he was stood there. She'd been expecting him, yet she was still surprised to see him there and she let it show.

"Can I come in?" Castle looked unsure of himself, catching on to how uncomfortable she was.

"Yeah." She was quiet when she spoke.

She opened the door further to let him stride in and he started talking about the case immediately.

"So, we went over all of Raglan and McAllister's old arrest records, and you were right. There was a third cop who was there on a lot of those arrests, but then someone went back into those reports and removed their name, so Ryan and Esposito and looking into who was running the records back then."

"Castle, you couldn't have just told me this over the phone?"

He paused. "Well, yeah... I thought that..."

She sighed and shifted from one foot to the other. "Castle, if you got something to say, will you please just say it?"

"Beckett, everybody associated with this case is dead. Everyone. First your mom and her colleagues, then Raglan and McAllister and you know they're coming for you next."

She shrugged and walked passed him. "Captain Montgomery's got a protective detail on me, wasn't that hard to spot.

"That's not going to be enough to stop Lockwood, you know that, think about what they're up against. Professional killers? I've been working with you for three years and you know me, I'm the guy who says we can get past this, but you know what, Beckett, I don't think we're gonna win this."

She was getting irritated now. "Castle, they killed my mother. What do you want me to do here?"

He looked dead in her eyes before uttering the words, "Walk away."

What? Her mother, Johanna Beckett had been stabbed in an alleyway, the case forgotten and said to be gang violence. Now it turned out it was part of a conspiracy. She couldn't walk away from this. She'd die too if she had to.

"They're gonna kill you, Kate. If you don't care about that... At least think about how that's going to affect the people that love you. You really wanna put your dad though that? What about Josh?"

"And what about you, Rick?"

"Well of course I don't want anything to happen to you. I'm your partner, I'm your friend!"

"Is that what we are?"

"Alright, I don't know what we are." He started to walk towards her with slow strides until he was stood right infront of her. "We kiss, and we never talk about it, we almost die, frozen in each others arms and we never talk about it, so no, I got no clue what we are. I know I don't wanna see you throw your life away."

"Well last time I checked, it was my life, not your personal jungle gym." He ran his hand through is hair as he listened to her. "And for the past three years, I've been running around with the school's funniest kid, and it's not enough."

She walked past him again, putting distance between them.

"This isn't about your mother's case anymore, this about you needing a place to hide. Because you've been chasing this thing for so long, you're afraid to find out who you are without it."

"You don't know me, Castle! You think you do, but you don't."

He didn't even hesitate before responding, barely letting her finish her sentence before starting his own.

"I know you crawled inside your mother's muder, and you didn't come out." He didn't look like her Castle anymore. He was furious and she wasn't used to seeing his face contorted in anger? Where were the jokes and the innuendos that wouldn't stop? "I know you hide there, same way hide in these nowhere relationships with men you don't love. You could be happy, Kate. You deserve to be happy, but you're afraid."

"You know what we are, Castle? We are over. Now get out."

When she turned around, he was gone.

They lay there for hours without speaking, just breathing and sharing small touches. She vowed that she wouldn't argue with him ever again if she could help it. It was one of the memories that she wished had never returned, along with the freezer and bomb, but it was in the past, and she was determined to make sure it remained there. They weren't together, but they were both content in the fact that one day they would be, and this time they wouldn't miss their chance. Eventually Castle got up to start making dinner for them seeing as they'd missed breakfast. She lay on the sheets were he'd been just moments before, absorbing the warmth he'd left behind. She retrieved the folded piece of paper from her pocket. She hadn't changed the night before and had slept in her clothes due to her arm hurting when she moved it too much, which meant that she couldn't dress easily without help, plus she'd been too tired.

She'd found the note in the pocket of the clothes that Lanie had packed and had cried when she first read it. She'd kept from Castle. She figured out he knew about it, but not what it said. One day, she'd show to him, but for now it was hers. Reading it once again, she remembered being on the plane from LA. It had been the turning point in their relationship, even though her partner didn't know it.

She sat on the plane in the first class seat that Castle had paid for. He was sat next to her, facing away from her, sleeping. If she was really quiet, she could hear the gentle snoring and to be honest, it was adorable. Figuring he couldn't interrupt her, she reached into her pocket and unfolded the creased letter from Royce. She'd read it plenty of times, but the last part had made her think. Deeply.

Now for the hard part kid.

It's clear that you and Castle have something real. And you're fighting it. But trust me, putting the job ahead of your heart, is a mistake. Risking our heart is why we're alive. The last thing you want is to look back and wonder 'If Only'.

If only's? What if's? There'd be no more of those where Castle was concerned and as soon as she was back on her feet and had less on her plate, she'd take the dive with him readily. Soon.