Chapter 14: To Do Something For Her

It was raining, hard, outside.

Rin watching in fascination as rain pelted her large window, streaking down the colored and clear glass. Thunder rolled in the sky, shaking the very foundations of the castle, even as lightning lit up the otherwise inky blackness.

All that power, all that fury, all that raw energy outside; it was exciting.

"It's been a good rain season." she said out loud. If the rains persisted into winter, they would have snow without question.

"This forest needs a lot of water to survive."

Rin turned in surprise then smiled at her visitor. "My lord." she bowed her head a bit in respect. "What a pleasent surprise."

He said nothing. Instead he walked forward and stood before her, looking down at her tiny form. Carefully, as if he didn't want to alarm her, he reached up and grasped her chin in his hand and tilted her head to the side.

Her ears were a bit pointed, but nothing overly noticable. In fact, if you weren't looking you would probably never notice the tip that was forming.

In fact, the most obvious thing about her ears is that they were red, raw, and bleeding bit.

"You should stop scratching." he said, releasing her.

"I know." Rin blushed a bit. "But, they really are itchy."

Since he had gone through very much the same process when his own ears had formed, he didn't push further.

"Kagome spoke to me." she said. "Told me...what would happen to me."

"I doubt she explained why." Sesshomaru said.

"She said she forgot." Rin frowned. "She said her memories were starting to fade."

"That day is always the first one they forget." Sesshomaru said.

"What day?" Rin asked.

"The day I recieved my curse." he said without emotion.

"Your curse." Rin repeated. "You all keep mentioning it, saying it's your punishment. But what could you have done so wrong?"

"I ran afoul that which vexes all men." he said.

"What vexes all men?" Rin asked.

"Can you not guess?" he asked, reaching up and carressing her cheek with the back of his hand. "I've been out of touch with the world for a long time but I doubt very seriously that that has changed. A woman."

"A woman?" Rin asked.

Sesshomaru nodded. "An enchantress, a witch if I ever saw one. But powerful. More powerful than can be imagined. She herself has been dead for decades, centuries maybe, but look how her magic persists to this day. Even now, you, have been cursed."

"I don't understand." Rin shook her head as he walked away from her and stood at her window instead. "What could you have done that was so bad, so terrible, that she would want to hurt you like this."

"I deserved it." Sesshomaru said making Rin jump a bit in surprise. He turned and smirked a bit as if he knew her thoughts and he probably did. "My arrogance was unforgiveable and my pride was so great that I refused to admit I was wrong even when I knew I was."

Rin went to him and hugged him from behind. "No one deserves to watch everyone they love turn to demons that only want to kill them. No one. That woman was wrong."

"You don't even know what happened." Sesshomaru said as he lifted a hand an placed it on the arm around his waist. "You weren't there. I deserved what I got. I know that now."

"Still." Rin shook her head. "Couldn't she thought of a better way to teach you a lesson."

Sesshomaru turned in her arms so that she was burying her head into his chest instead of his back. "A girl like you would never understand the wrath of a woman like her."

"All the same." Rin looked up at him. "But still, I guess, without her, I never would have been able to meet you. So, in a wierd way, I'm grateful."

Sesshomaru said nothing, just looked down at her without expression. Which was, Rin figured out, was his way of being speechless and not knowing what to say. He simply said nothing at all instead of blustering and blushing like other men would.

She rather liked it.

Moving carefully, because she didn't want to startle him, she unwrapped her arms from around his waist and, instead, moved them to curl around his neck as she stood on the tips of her toes to reach his face.

He didn't touch her back or help her.

But he didn't stop her either which, Rin had figured out, was his way of just letting her do as she wished.

As he would say, he didn't prohibit it.

She touched her lips delicately to his and found, to her surprise, they were a bit cold. He himself, was a bit cold. Not distant, at least not more than normal, but physically cold.

"You're cold." Rin whispered into his lips. "Why are you cold?"

He didn't answer.

So Rin put her lips back over his and let her own warmth sink into him.

He didn't kiss her back, but he didn't stop her either.

It was inappropriate, she knew, for a properly bred lady to kiss a man who wasn't her husband.

But who would judge her?

Jaken, maybe, but the little imp like thing judged everyone.

Kagome was trying so hard to get Rin to like him she would probably cheer and Ayame had looked a little lost since Koga left and probably wouldn't notice.

And if Sesshomaru himself didn't mind, why should she care if the whole world did.

"What are you doing, Rin?" Sesshomaru asked when she backed off to catch her breath.

Rin smiled and said, as she did before, "I only want to please you, my lord."

"You are playing with fire." he said as he finally touched her back. But it was only to grabb her arms and pull them from his neck and set her back on her feet.

"I am a grown woman." Rin said and, as soon as he released her, she was back against his chest. "I can do as I wish."

He grabbed her wrists and pushed her back again, but held onto them so she wouldn't put her body against his anymore.

The urge to accept her offer was very nearly irresistable. He could still feel the warmth of her lips and the desire to pull her back into his embrace and take what she was offering made his head light and his loins tight.

But he resisted.

She didn't know what she offered, she thought she did but she couldn't. Maybe even, physically, she knew what it was for a man to be with a woman, but she wasn't ready for it. Not now.

"Why?" she asked not put out by his refusal. If he hadn't wanted her to do what she did, he would have said so. It was his frankness that was so appealing about him. So it wasn't that he was objecting her advances because they came from her.

"The same reason I gave you before." He said as he released her and, this time, she didn't push herself back on him. "You aren't ready for this."

"I am so." Rin said, pouting a bit.

"No you're not." he said.

Rin sighed but didn't press the issue. then blinked in surprise when she saw a rose appear in her vision.

She looked up at him, for the first time, actually giving the rose to her and not just leaving it behind when he left.

She smiled and took it, marveling at the softness of the petals.

She brought the rose to her nose and took a deep breath of the wonderfully soothing scent.

Then paused as she felt Sesshomaru's breath on her ear. "One day, I will take you up on what you offer. But not tonight."

When she looked back up, he was gone.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

She had thought that was the end of it. When Sesshomaru visited her at night, he would usually avoid her the next day. So she was a bit surprised when he showed up the next morning with the words "Follow me."

But she did.

He didn't say a word, just led her through the palace.

At one point, Rin thought she saw Kagome poke her head around the corner but it was gone before she got the chance to really look.

"Where are we going?" she asked when he started taking her down a hall she wasn't familiar with.

"I've decided to let you into the west wing." he said.

Rin gaped at him.

"You may come there to visit the library and only the library do you understand?"

"I do." Rin smiled at his back. "Thank you, my lord. I'm sure it must be a bother to bring books to me all the time."

He gave her no answer and Rin smiled wider.

The castle was beautiful in a dark kind of way. Everything was beautiful but demented. There was a portrait of a mother feeding her babe on the third floor that Rin avoided at all costs because the babe was feeding by biting into her breast and sucking out the blood while the mother wrapped her ghostly hands around it's tiny neck. The statues were all grotesque, warped in a way. Nothing ever smiled, it was all one big horror.

And the further into the west wing they ventured, the more tortured and haunting the decor rug beneath their feet stopped being a deep burgandy and more and more resembled freshly spilled blood. It was still soft and luxurient but it seemed darker somehow. Was it a trick of her mind or a trick of the spell?

The doors they stopped before were magnificent, at least two stories tall, and gleaming like they had been cleaned recently.

Sesshomaru hesitated, his hands on the knobs, for only a moment, Then he pushed the double open and stepped aside.

Rin gasped and stepped forward slowly, trying to take in the splendor before her.

Her own library at home had been impressive, the bookstore had been amazing.

This place was indescribable.

Four floors of books, shelves lined up neatly with all the books placed with great care and attention to orginazation. Ladders were against the shelves offering the top shelves to the shorter readers and spiral staircases led the way to the upper floors. There were two massive windows on the opposite wall providing natural light and shining brightly on the tables that had been placed before them to receive the most light.

There were lamps but they weren't ordinary lamps. Like the ones at her one library and the ones at the book shop they were specially designed to go out if tilted or knocked over. There wasn't a speck of dust anywhere and the room didn't smell neglected. It smelled like aged leather and paper and ink. Smells that Rin adored and calmed her soul like no other.

"Oh, Sesshomaru, thank..." she turned to smile at him but he was gone and the doors were shut. She giggled and turned to back to the books.

Rin picked a shelf at random and grabbed the first book that caught her eyes.

It wasn't until she was sitting down on a comfy recliner beside the window that she realized.

She was the only one allowed here and here was the only place she was allowed. Kagome and Ayame and Shippo and even Jaken weren't permitted here. So, if she was the only one here, who had cleaned and straightened the library?

She looked at the gleaming wood of the tables and the carefully tended books and was sure she had to be wrong. There was just no way it was true.

Could Sesshomaru have cleaned this all...

...for her?