And All Manner of Things Shall Be Well
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, which is the property of the honorable Hiromu Arakawa. I do claim ownership of all OCs I've created for this story. I just like to play around in it's world and annoy the characters for awhile.
My pledge to you, the reader: Neither Edward, or Alphonse will fall in love with any of said OCs!
Author's note: After all the excitement of the last couple of chapters, Edward and Ian have a little down time as they visit Alphonse at his college lodgings. If they can ever find them, that is! It's more banter amongst friends, and an audience with Miss Chievous, the wonder kitten!
After-beta: ShiniLuv
Chapter Fourteen: In which Ed and Ian get lost - really lost.
During the same time as Button's interview with Carpenter was starting, Bond's car entered the campus of Highgate University. Ancient - chartered over 700 years ago by King Hotspur - and massive - even third year students still got lost. Bond the spymaster, the suave overseer of New Britain's M17, was also lost - helplessly so. He'd followed the signs to Hotspur Hall, the lodgings where Alphonse and Pratchett lived, but he couldn't find it.
But how was he to know the signs were turned the wrong way at least once a week? He innocently asked students walking by for directions, but that turned out to be a bad move as well. All students considered the work of getting visitors thoroughly lost to be a fine art, so each one pointed the pair of adults in the wrong direction. If you were to ask a group of four students directions to a particular building, each of them would give you a different set of directions.
Edward was getting so frustrated, he was realy to get out of the car right now, then stand in the middle of campus, and just scream Alphonse's name until he showed up. Sooner of later, his little brother would get word of a crazy blond man screaming "ALPHONSE!" at the top of his lungs. After what seemed to be the thousandth circuit of what appeared to be the same quad - they all looked alike to Ian; Edward spied the welcome sight of Pratchett, Prince, and a girl he didn't recognize walking by them.
He scrabbled for the handle which rolled down the car window, but couldn't find one; then leapt back in surprise when it smoothly rolled down with a faint buzzing sound. He looked over at Ian who was smirking at him. "Power windows, Elric, one of the perks of being a spymaster." He looked back at the sidewalk, the trio were already past him. After opening his seat belt, Ed stuck his head and shoulders out of the window and bellowed "HEY! PRATCHETT!"
They turned to look curiously while Ed frantically waved both hands. Prince snickered "I bet he's lost", waved back, and made as if to walk away. "Oh, Prince!" the girl whined, hauling on his jacket, "don't be so mean!"
"Oh, all right, Lilith! But you know we are going against the unofficial student code!" Lilith, a pretty girl with long black hair, and brown eyes, who was wearing a long blue skirt, a long-sleeved purple shirt, and a short denim jacket, rewarded Prince with a dazzling smile.
Pratchett was already walking to the car, and greeting Edward. He turned slightly and said over his shoulder. "Visitor related to one's roommate don't count, Prince!"
Once he got to the car, he stuck his upper body to the shoulders in through the window, forcing Ed to shrink back against his seat. "Smashing motor, Mr. Elric, any chance of a lift?"
"Uhhhh..." Ed looked at Ian, who was smiling broadly; so he just shrugged. "I guess it's O.K."
"Utterly smashing!" Pratchett yanked the back door open and bowed to Lilith. "Ladies first." Lilith gracefully slid onto the seat and Pratchett made to follow her in, but he was blocked by Prince. Mincing on his toes and speaking in a falsetto, Prince playfully slapped Pratchett's hand. "Egad! You Cad! Remember: ladies first!" Then he scrambled in after Lilith.
Pratchett grinned, then shook his head. "You've got to stop doing that, Prince, you'll give some lads ideas!" Ed bit his lip - hard. Otherwise, he was going to burst out laughing. He looked over at Ian again; his shoulders were shaking. Don't catch his eye! Don't do it! Grey/green met gold, Ian tried to suppress a chuckle, but only succeeded in turning it into snort, which finally set Edward off.
"Eh?" Prince scratched his cheek in confusion. "Am I really that funny?" Lilith kissed his right cheek. "Yes, you are, you goofball." Prince smiled, a rather sloppy grin.
Then Pratchett bussed his other cheek. "You big goofball, you!"
Prince was mock offended. "OY! I don't swing like that!"
Edward was laughing so hard he could barely breathe. Why didn't I go to college? He was closer in age to the trio in the backseat than Al was - if he only could have decided what subjects he wanted to take. When the Rockbell's mailbox began filling up with thick college brochures, and catalogs of course offerings, Edward's mind had just boggled with the possibilities for study. He admired Alphonse for choosing a major - veterinary medicine - and a minor - history of alchemy in New Britain - and sticking to them. He mentally shook himself. Get serious now - I have a job to do - once everyone stops laughing!
It turned out Edward and Ian had been really lost; Hotspur Hall was on the other side of the sprawling Highgate campus. They had come to an agreement with Pratchett, Prince, and Lilith, a ride over in exchange for a promise never to breathe a word of the breaking of the unofficial student code. Hotspur Student Residence Hall (it's official name) was a grand old red brick Lancastrian pile, one of the oldest buildings on campus.
Six stories high, the walls were pierced with tall, narrow windows, and pockmarked with what looked like marks from cannonballs. With a crenalated roofline, it looked like a fortress. After Edward mentioned this impression to Pratchett, he got a semester's worth of history lectures on Hotspur Hall. Ed tuned him out shortly after "Well, Mr. Elric, it was a fortress, in fact, one of the major battles of the Wars of the Roses was fought in front of it, and..."
Ian leaned against his car and listened politely - or just pretended to listen politely. Prince and Lilith leaned next to him, and exchanged smirks and eye rolls. When Pratchett finally paused for breath, Ed grabbed his chance to get a word in edgewise: "How is my brother?"
Pratchett seemed dumbfounded at the sudden change in subject, being as he was still in "tour guide" mode. "Oh, um - Al? He was taking a nap when we left." With that, Pratchett took up right where he left off. "If you stand on this corner, lean to your right, and squint very hard, you can just make out the scars left by Royalist musket balls during a minor skirmish fought during the New British Civil War..."
Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. As a rule of thumb, he had no trouble being rude to annoying people, but he genuinely liked Pratchett. The boy was genial and good natured, but oblivious to hints he was long winded at times. Still...
The next time Pratchett paused to take in air, Ed slapped his hands on the hood of the Morris Major, making Prince and Lilith jump, and Ian frown. Ed ignored him. Time to be firm. "Pratchett, I would like to see my brother. Now." Then he leavened his sharp gaze with a smile. "Please."
They had left Al napping on the couch, but he was studying furiously by the time the group entered. He now sat at a plain table in the middle of the sitting room, said table piled high with textbooks which surrounded him like baby mountains. Ed's first sight of Alphonse was the top inch of his unruly mop of caramel-colored hair. Al was intently bent over his work, alternately flipping through the pages of a textbook, scribbling in a notepad, and occasionally muttering softly to himself before running a hand through his hair. Edward couldn't help smiling, this brought back old memories, because he used to study alchemy books the same way.
Edward walked up to the table, and propping his elbows on a stack of textbooks, he put his chin in the palm of his automail hand, cocked his head, and waited for Al to notice. But Al never noticed his brother's presence. Ed looked back at the others - Prince and Pratchett were grinning like maniacs, Lilith had sat down on a comfortable chair nearby, her legs crossed at the ankle, she was shaking her head, but smiling just as broadly. Ian stood behind and a bit to the side of the two young men, hands in pockets, and his expression unreadable. But he was mentally remarking on the on the physical, and the physiological resemblence between Edward and Alphonse. Both have that remarkable ability to focus!
Not until Al attempted to pull a book from the stack Ed was leaning on did he realize he wasn't alone. He looked up and gawked, his chocolate brown eyes wide, and mouth open, looking like a rumpled goldfish at Ed, who flashed him a seraphic smie.
"All work and no play makes Alphonse a dull boy."
"Huh?"
Ed's smile widened into it's familiar, toothy grin. "Al, shouldn't you be resting?"
Alphonse finally shut his mouth, and then blinked owlishly. "I've got a major test coming up next week, so I need every spare moment to study!"
"WHAT!?" Ed drew back, astonished. "The fall term began only a month ago, I thought you wouldn't have any big tests until just before winter break?!"
Al shook his head in response. "Not my feline studies professor, brother. He popped a quiz on us the first day! Good thing I'd read most of my textbooks on the trip from Central."
"You READ your textbooks?!"
Al shrugged. "I was bored. You know what a drag train rides are. I tried, but I couldn't nap like you used to; you could drop straight off and sleep for hours, then wake up in an instant. I tried a couple of times, but train seats aren't very comfortable, & I would wake up with a crick in my neck!"
"Did you read on the ferry too?" Ed was curious to know whether Alphonse also suffered from seasickness.
"I did while we were in port, but once we passed the breakwater, the rolling of the ship made me feel a bit queasy. But I was fine once I put the books away and went out on deck for fresh air." Edward made a face. Whether on deck or in his cabin, it had made no difference to him, he still retched on that ferry. So he could sleep like the dead on trains, and Al didn't get seasick. Ah well, equivalent exchange.
Suddenly, Ed felt something scratching on his left leg. He looked down to see a small grey tabby kitten busily working it's claws on his one decent pair of dress pants. Just about to flex the leg and send the little beast flying, he hesitated, that kitten looked familiar. Al followed his gaze downwards and he smiled indulgently. After capping his pen, he swooped down and grabbed it by the nape of it's neck before gently lifting it into the air, and putting his other hand under the kitten's hindquarters to support it.
"Miss Chievous!" He cooed at it, "come here you naughty little girl!" Ed threw a look back, Pratchett, Prince and Lilith were all rolling their eyes. Obviously they were all well acquainted with Al's ailurophilia. Ian gave him two raised eyebrows and a smirk - he had a maiden aunt who was cat-mad.
"Al?" Ed began, incredulous. "Did you bring that kitten all the way from Risembool?"
"Yessss!" Al had cradled the kitten against his chest, and he was smiling rapturously while Miss Chievous alternately licked and nibbled his rounded chin. "She was a good little traveler, when when I took her out of the carrier." She would curl up in my lap, or sit on the window ledge. It was like she'd done this before in another life."
Al still had that silly grin on his face, and Edward began to wonder if his little brother wasn't somehow "touched" in the head. Was there something about cats which made usually sane people lose their common sense? Very gingerly, Ed reached over and scratched Miss Chievous behind one ear. It mewed once, then leaned it's tiny head into his touch. "Nice kitty," Ed crooned, but he took the sentiment back a nanosecond later when the Missy sunk her little needle sharp fangs into his index finger. "OW!"
The little brat wouldn't let go, Ed could have just yanked his hand away, but he resisted the temptation because he knew it would upset Al. To Ed's annoyance, his little brother chuckled. "She's teething, Brother, and she likes to chew a bit." A bit!? After Missy let go, Ed examined the finger. It still tingled with pain, but the skin wasn't broken. He wondered if the kitten had had it's shots yet. It was as if Alphonse could read his mind. "Yes, brother, she has."
Al held Miss Chievous over his head and grinned at her. Missy didn't grin back, but she purred so loudly she could probably be heard all over the building. She's got him well-trained...
"We call her 'Miss Chievous the Wonder Kitten'," Pratchett's quip was dry. "Because it's a wonder anyone but Alphonse puts up with her!"
Al spun around in his chair to retort. "You're just jealous!"
"JEALOUS!? Pratchett's response came in a squeak of mock outrage, "She peed in my shoes!"
"Because you were kept on pulling her tail when you knew it hurt her. That was her way of getting revenge."
"Oh, so she wants revenge, does she? How would she like it if I peed in her..her..." he suddenly trailed off in embarrassment when he realized he'd been drawn into an argument about a kitten. Prince stifled a laugh behind him, so Pratchett shot him a sharp look before gently cuffing the back of his head. "OI!"
Edward sensed these two were probably childhood friends and used to bantering like this. To any outsiders, their exchanges sounded like an argument, but that impression was misleading.
"Can we be serious now?" Everyone looked curiously at Bond, Al throwing Ed a questioning glance, so his brother introduced them. "Alphonse, I would like you to meet Colonel Ian Bond of MI7; Ian, this is my little brother, Major Alphonse Elric." Both Pratchett and Prince, who had been mock wrestling promptly stopped before standing up straight, first saluting Ian, and then Alphonse while both chorused "Sir! Yes, sir!"
Lilith didn't say a thing, she just used her expressive face to make her opinions known: amusement at Pratchett and Prince, impressed at Ian's rank, and surprised at Alphonse's.
It took Ian to cut through the clutter of general silliness. "Alphonse, you brother came mostly to see how you are." Al flashed Ed a warm smile at this news, "but particularlyy to ask you and your friends an important question." Caramel - colored brows rose in query. "What do you and your friends recall about a man who was on the gangplank when you fell into the river yesterday morning?"
"Sorry," Alphonse ruefully replied, "but I didn't really pay attention to him - until he hit me with that suitcase of his!"
Ian's eyes narrowed. "He hit you?"
"Oh, yes!, I can't say for sure if it was deliberate, but it definitely hit me hard, here, it left a bruise!" Al pulled up his shirt with one hand, and pulled down the waistband of his sweatpants with the other, showing Ed and Ian a definite dark mark on his left hip.
"Here, Al!" Pratchett huffed, "there's a lady present!"
Lilith laughed at his concern. "Pratchett, I have three brothers at home, and they all run about in their unmentionables, so I'm hard to shock."
"Al, listen closely," Ian fixed him with a fierce stare, "would you know this man if you saw him again?" As if to speak, Al opened his mouth, thought for a moment, then snapped it shut again before his face fell.
"Sorry, Colonel Bond, but like I said, I didn't pay him much mind until his suitcase hit me, and then I was falling over the edge of the gangplank. After that, everything was pretty much a blur." He ended with an apologetic mumble.
Ed put a consoling hand on the shoulder of his crestfallen brother. "Al, what about the people who came with you? Might they remember him?
Al looked uncertainly over at Pratchett and Prince. "You two were right behind me, did you get a better look at him?" Both young men hung their heads, stuck their hands in their pockets, and shuffled their feet.
"Sorry, mate," Pratchett began "I was looking at your brother, you'd been talking so much about him (Edward's face felt hot) the only thing I noticed was how fast he dropped his things and jumped in after you."
Ian's grey/green eyes locked on Prince. "I looked at him longer, but he kept his head down and his eyes on the ground, like he didn't want to be noticed."
"I saw the bastard's face." Lilith had spoken up. Five pairs of male eyes (and one pair feline) swung around to look curiously at her. "There were plenty of people watching the drama in the river, so I kept my eyes on him. When he thought no one was paying attention to him, he looked up, then back towards the ferry, and smiled. Ian's eyes narrowed again, and Ed's face darkened.
"And then he said 'For what you've done to my family, I hope both of you drown, Amestrine!'"
Al and his friends all wore confused looks upon their faces, but Ed plain looked shocked. He'd heard that word before, a whole world away...
Author's note: A first clue to the identity of the killers of Edward's contacts, and those who attacked Ian. But, will Edward enlighten Bond as to why that word so affected him?
Author's note #2: OK, I give; Miss Chievous COULD be considered a "Mary Sue"; but I don't think she is because Al's love of cats is canon in both anime and manga.