AN: Probably one of the longer chapters.
Quick warning for death and a little bit of descriptive body horror. Dunno if it really deserves an "M" or not, but... yeah, fair warning.
"On your left!" Max shouted, dodging another zombified villager. Nikki took an extra second to groin-stomp the (male) villager before catching up. Max had to admit, her tactics definitely kept them from going after them.
"GRRR!" They shouted in surprise as they skidded to avoid a huge, hulking figure in white. They lost him in an archway where his hugeness kept him from fitting. The groaning and growling behind him indicated the rest of the brainwashed-Ones were stuck there for the time being, too.
They blindly followed corridors, taking whatever way seemed to lead somewhere or not have an army of white-wearing weirdos coming down them.
The group found themselves in one of the spacious courtyards of the castle filled with boxes and carts lying about and heard the swoosh of wings above them.
"Hello, Maxwell."
"Zit-face." Max spat back. The three Woodscout-doppelganger monkeys landed in front of them, smug-faced.
"That's not nice, Maxwell. I'm sure Lord Daniel will be pleased to extract that out of your personality in your Cleansing sessions. Heheheheh!" He chuckled nasally.
"Not today!" Nikki screamed, launching herself at them. Pikeman screamed as she bit his leg and only bit harder when Snake tried wrestling her off. Petrol took a more direct approach and came hulking towards the other two, grinning nastily.
"Max, lookout!"
Max moved onto a cart on the courtyard just in time to avoid a flurry of small, glass marbles spray onto the ground. Neil and Space Kid stood beside an enormous overturned crate conveniently labelled "Marbles". He watched the Petrol-monkey stumble on the orbs and land on his back, slowly rolling away.
"Newton's Law of Eat Shit! The bigger they are, the harder they fall, and the further they keep going if not influenced by another force!" Neil shouted as the stumbling monkey was carried by the marbles out the courtyard and right into the moat outside.
"Nice going!" Max congratulated. Suddenly, Nikki landed beside them as Pikeman finally managed to get her off of him.
"That's enough games, Maxwell! Petrol, get-… Petrol?" The leader noticed his heavy-hitter was nowhere in sight. "Uh… Snake! Plan Delta!"
They both hid amid the rubble, but the four could hear them shuffling around. Max grabbed a wooden plank, ready to beat the living crap out of them. Neil nervously clung to a stick. Space Kid brought out his trusty laser gun and Nikki protruded her claws.
Meanwhile, with the Woodscouts.
"Alright, Snake, on my cue, I want you to hide in that convenient box over there until I give the word and then we surprise attack them." Pikeman whispered.
Snake nodded quietly and hid in a cardboard box as Pikeman watched the group nervously look around, waiting for the right moment.
"Boy-Howdy, wouldn't you know it? The one day action actually happens around here and we're still moving boxes." One brainwashed zombie spoke to another.
"Yep. Just the daily grind, I guess. But we love Daniel and we will do as he commands. Hey, you missed that one."
"Huh? Oh, yeah, is the shipment gone yet?"
"You can make it if you hurry."
The zombie nodded and grabbed the box, quickly sealing it with tape and rushing it over to the loading bay.
The same box with a certain monkey in it.
"Okay, Snake? Ready? NOW!" Pikeman shouted triumphantly as he sprang out from hiding.
…
"Snake, I said NOW!"
…
"Snake? Snake! SNAAAAAAAKE! Oof!" Pikeman was toppled over by the brown, furry force of nature known as Nikki. She did the only thing she could do, she bit his leg. "Ah! Why? Not again!"
"Hey, Max." The human glanced over at Neil who was grinning evilly while holding a green potion bottle, a label clearly written.
Max felt his own lips curl maliciously, "Perfect."
"AHHHH! No, not there! Not there!" Pikeman screeched. Finally, Space Kid ripped her off of his leg and before he could react to this change, he felt a painful impact on his skull as a glass bottle shattered. "Ow! Mother f- grrr! You are totally dead! You hear me? Dea- why is my face itchy?"
He scratched his face furiously as the green potion sank into his skin. The four watched on, two in confusion, the other two in knowing evil. Pikeman's already pockmarked face made actual popping sounds as more and more zits erupted like popcorn. His entire face became red with them as he shrieked in confusion.
Then, those zits got zits.
And those zits got zits.
And the zit's zit's zits' got zits.
And soon, a Pikeman-monkey with a towering three-foot tall head was overbalanced and lay on the ground, an enormous, almost unrecognizable, mass of red pustules with a twiggy body attached at the side.
"Nice work, Niel."
"Yeah, let's go, though. The potion label said they're still magical zits, so they'll eventually… er, 'discharge' at once." Neil admitted.
They took a second to process what that would look like.
…
"Eeeeew."
…
"C'mon!" Max shouted, leaving behind the moaning, disgusting blob.
They ran back into the castle hallways. The zombies were definitely less of an issue in this area, but they still blocked several routes with sheer density.
They broke past another couple odd brainwashed villagers and made it to a nearly-empty corridor. Max was panting from all of the running, "*huff* Okay, we seriously *huff* need a break."
"NIKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" A shrill screech erupted from the darkness of the hallway.
"God f*cking dammit." Max grumbled tiredly.
Then, from the darkness came three… things.
"WOAH! Nikki, the f*ck did you do?!" Max cried, backing away from them.
"Uh… some harmless, not-going-to-bite-us-in-the-butt fun?" She chuckled nervously.
The former Flowerscouts were completely bald of their fabulous head-hair. Their body-fur was dyed ridiculous swirls of blue, green, yellow, and pink, making disgusting patterns and colors in-between like too much food-dye mixed in icing. Their nails were sharpened and black, the manicured nail polish scraped away in their fury. Lastly, their faces and exposed skin was red and thrumming with pustules and hives.
The three creatures hissed with sharp teeth.
"F*CKING RUNNN!" Max shouted. They ran as fast as they could away from the three monkey-girls who elected to scuttle along on all fours like an unnatural cross between a beetle and a spider. Twice, Max swore he saw Tabii's head swivel a full 360.
"Neil! Throw more of that zit potion!"
"I can't! The crate only had the one bottle!"
Max swore under his breath. The girls were definitely gaining speed and given their state, he'd bet he'd be grateful in the end if they left most of him intact for Daniel to brainwash.
"Idea!" Nikki screamed.
She separated from the group and ran to a specific door she flung open. She stood in front of the darkness yawning behind it, "Hey, butt-scouts! Pbbbbbbtttt!" She spat her tongue at them.
"NIKKAAAAAY!" The flower-creatures screeched, changing tracks to go after the chimera.
Nikki waited for them to get close before she jumped up and used the three as springboards to hop over all of them. The creatures flew straight through the doorway and were engulfed in the darkness. A loud series of crashes echoed upwards as it became apparent that Nikki found the basement stairs.
Nikki slammed the door shut and deadbolted it as she heard the creatures scrambling upwards and pounding against the re-enforced doors.
"That oughtta hold 'em." She said confidently clapping her hands like wiping dust.
*creak!*
"Buuuut just to be safe, go! GogoGOGO!" She screamed.
They left the echoing bangs of enraged, trapped flower scouts behind.
"Squirrels!" Neil shouted.
"Are you f*cking kidding me! Every five steps it's something new!" Max whined as the walls crawled with chittering mass of adorable fur.
*Chitter!*
Max looked next to him and saw a particular black squirrel with an eyepatch. "YOU!"
*CHATTER! Chitter squeak squeak squeakity chitter.*
Neil shrieked. "Augh! It's chattering menacingly at us!"
"F*CK THIS!" Max said, grabbing the leader and throwing him at a barrel.
As it turned out, the barrel was filled with peanut butter!
And the head squirrel drowned quickly in its creamy deliciousness!
And from the depths of the barrel, a ghostly image of a squirrel with a fine crown on its head emerged.
"I thank you, loyal subjects," the figure said in a low, deep voice, "I, Mark the King of the Squirrels, do thank you for avenging my death in such a delicious fashion of my favorite thing to rub on myself; Peanut Butter."
"Yeah, yeah! Screw this!" Max said, rushing past the craziness. And it definitely wasn't because the author wanted the squirrels dealt with but was getting impatient.
Nope.
Definitely not.
Daniel stormed out of his room to the balcony where he watched his army slowly converging on the small collection of vagabonds.
The web was closing in.
It was time to make an appearance.
"We're trapped!" Neil shouted.
They had finally run out of places to go. All of the hallways were filled with brainwashed villagers in white. What's more, the woodscouts-monkeys had gotten together again; Snake was covered in packing peanuts and Petrol stinking of stagnant pond water and scum. Pikeman was nowhere to be seen.
The group huddled further together into their corner away from the advancing army.
"Well, well, well."
The corner darkened as shadows coagulated together and rose into a column that split apart like a curtain to reveal Daniel, smiling broadly. "Isn't this just… lovely?"
"Yeah," Max shot back, "fan-f*cking-tastic. Can't get any better-"
*SMASH!*
The entire group jumped as three fists erupted from the stonework floor and destroyed the surrounding cobblestones as the Flower-Scouts-from-Hell clawed their way out of the holes they dug all the way from the basement.
"God, I had to open my mouth," Max said warily backing away.
"Yes, isn't this wonderful? Everyone here, I just- wait." Daniel paused and did a quick head-count (well, glossing over the multitude of white-zombies). "Where's Pikeman?"
"I'm here, sir!"
Pikeman stumbled his way through the crowd. His head was deflated, but still red as a tomato. "Sorry, I just… um…"
"Hey, zit-face!" Max called out, "How'd you like your head matching your ego?"
"Silence, you cretin!" The monkey shouted.
"Pikeman, what are they talking about?"
"They… might have hit me with a zit-potion."
"A full bottle of pimple potion… on top of your normal face…?" Daniel questioned.
"Yes, sir."
"And the… results… 'went away' recently?"
"Yes, sir."
…
…
Daniel took a noticeable step away from the humiliated monkey-squadron-leader.
One tiny brainwashed zombie walked up, "Ve are all set, Lord Daniel, und ve are-"
"Hold the f*cking phone!" Max exclaimed, pointing at another Dolph-clone, but this time most certainly an exact replica of Dolph. "What the hell are you doing here!? What the-"
He looked around, seeing all of his fellow campers in their Daniel-cult mode. Erid without the weird furry-fandom ears and crap. Nerris and Harrison in their actual camp clothes (just white). Even a Space-Kid (with helmet), Nikki, and Neil look-alike in the crowd.
"Why are you all here again? Didn't you show up already?! Hell, I've got Nikki and Neil right here with me!"
"Uh, what's going on?" Nikki-beast murmured to Neil-crow. He just shrugged.
The Nurf-zombie answered, "Well, obviously you can only do so much casting with a limited set of character designs, so you'd need to compensate by featuring a recurring cast in different roles. Namely, given canonical equivalents with 'zombified' characters it was easier, albeit admittedly lazy, for a recast in this specific role relative to a specific canon-character equivalent."
…
"Yeeeeaaaaah, whatever." Max drew out the words. None of what Nurf-clone said made any sense. Beside him, he didn't notice a tiny sliver of a crack in the stonework of the 4th wall.
"Eh-hem," Daniel cleared his throat loudly, "Now that that's all settled, let's head to my personal chambers. I'm sure you're all dying to find out what I have in store for you."
They were led by knife-point through the halls they had blindly scrambled through before to a specific room. Inside was practically empty save for a large, glass bowl full of fruity-smelling purple potion that reminded Max briefly of a bowl they'd serve punch out of at a prom. Or at least, what proms looked like on TV.
"Now, Max. You've caused me quite a bit of trouble lately, haven't you?" Daniel spoke with a cold tone that definitely belied his internal fury. "Frist off, you incite a coup of the Witch of the East's lands. Then, you destroy one of my contracts. Those papers aren't exactly cheap, you know. Nor are the quills, for that matter. You journey all the way to my castle, destroy my guard's best defenses, use my property without my permission, and then throw my offer right into my face after my heartfelt moment with you."
He faked a pout and looked at Max with big, blue eyes that tried mimicking a David-esque kicked-puppy quality to them. But having something like David on him, it looked… wrong. Like a bear trap disguised as a leaf pile in autumn. Or a muffin with poisoned berries.
"I'm giving you- One. Last. Chance." Daniel stated, holding out the quill and parchment again. "Sign. Or else."
Max saw it as it was this time. There was nothing good about the contract. The whole thing screamed 'Satanic-Faustian-Deal' all over it, he just couldn't see it at his low point.
"Hard pass, cult-man!" He retorted.
"Well… what's to stop me from taking, say, your friends." Daniel taunted, his eyes and hands crackling with red energy.
Max was suddenly restrained by two zombie-guards as Nikki-beast, Neil-crow, and Space Kid were covered in a crackling layer of red energy. They were screaming in protest as they slowly made their way to the parchment.
"Oh, if only they had a Hood-Dee, too-"
"No! STOP!"
The room was silent.
Max huffed, tiredly, "You want me? Fine. They're not on the table." He looked Daniel straight in the eye. "If I do this, I want you to let them go, alright?"
"I must say, I'm impressed, Maxwell. I didn't think you had anything like it in you." Daniel mocked, releasing his magical grip on his friends.
He shoved the parchment in front of Max's face again, holding out the quill expectantly. Max reached for the feather-
"Ahh-ah-ah," The Warlock tsk'd admonishingly. "Don't think I didn't forget your Hood-Dee. Can't have you incinerating another one of my contracts."
Max huffed angrily, slowly reaching for his hoodie zipper.
"What do you think you're doing?!" Daniel exclaimed.
"Huh?"
"I don't know what you're trying to pull, but I won't let it happen!" The Warlock suddenly pounced on the smaller human who batted him away as he realized the man was trying to get at something in his hoodie's pockets.
"The Hell?!"
"Ah-Ha!"
Daniel leapt back with his hands gripping-
"Mr. Honeynuts!"
Daniel, initially confused by the object, was pleased at the reaction. "Oh? I take it this is rather important to you, isn't it?"
"Give it back you f*cker!" Max shouted angrily.
"What if I don't?" The Warlock taunted. "What if I don't want to?"
"What if I shove my foot up your ass!"
Daniel's face ticced before grinning coldly, "What if I- say…"
He whirled around suddenly and grabbed a wooden torch from its metal sconce and held the burning, orange flame up menacingly.
"What if I burnt your precious 'Mr. Honeynuts'?" Holding the flame ever closer to the foot of the stuffed bear.
"NO! YOU BASTARD!" Max roared. He did the only thing he could think of, he gripped the underside of the nearest liquid material (in this case, the potion) and overturned it onto the flame and, subsequently, Daniel.
…
"Wha- What?" Daniel stuttered frightfully. His trembling turned quickly to rage, "WHAT HAVE YOU DOOOOONNNNEEEE!"
Daniel dropped the bear (thankfully devoid of the mystery potion) which Max caught immediately as the Warlock stumbled away, clutching his head and shouting incoherently. Max was horrified as smoke and steam started sizzling off of it. The cult leader made his way to his vanity mirror and gasped in horror.
Before whirling around.
"OH, JESUS F*CKING CHRIST!"
Daniel's face was rotting.
It wasn't rotting like becoming a zombie all gaunt and decomposing. It was rotting like meat left out in the sun in summer. His skin was an unhealthy yellow-gray tinge. His eye sockets drooped drastically around the sensory organs. His hair fell out in chunks and flesh and skin sloughed off like bloody, raw hamburger patties.
"I'M MELTING! I'M MELTING!"
"YEAH, NO F*CKING SHIT!"
Daniel slowly stumbled his way towards them, hate in his eyes, but his feet and body making nauseating 'slorch' sounds with each step as more and more sloughed off onto a bloody streak on the ground. The chunks of what came off literally melted into puddles of red-brown liquid that smelled like some putrid soup at the bottom of a compost bin.
Daniel, with half of his face skeletal and the other half well on its way, sent a stare of absolute hatred and fury at the small boy before the frame collapsed into a clatter of wet bones and squishy, rotted flesh. Even as they watched, the bones liquefied and the clothes were eaten away as they joined the rest in a growing puddle of Daniel sizzling and smoking quietly on the floor.
…
…
"Outta mah way."
The QuarterMaster Doppelganger (?) walked past the amassed crowd of horrified viewers with a mop and bucket in hand. He slowly started dragging the mop over the brown-red puddle and squeezed it into the bucket. Rinse and repeat.
…
…
"H-holy, f*cking shit." Max mumbled quietly.
"Well, what'd you expect, child? A pile of black clothes and a witch's hat? Heh. Someone melting ain't a pretty sight." The QuarterMaster grumbled back, not stopping his macabre visceral cleanup duty.
…
"That is seriously f*cked up."
They assembled at the front gates. With Daniel gone, the brainwashed citizens returned to their rightful state of mind and happily saw the others out. The winged monkeys had 'flown the coop' back to the Jungle where Nikki promised they'd have to deal with her later. The sun had come out and shone happily over the entire valley signifying the oppressive presence was finally gone forever.
"Yeah, I liked this place better before," Max mumbled, glaring at the chittering squadron of kind little squirrels. He glared back at them as one made the 'I'm-watching-you' sign.
One of the villagers (the Preston-look-alike) ran up to him with something in his hands, "Here! Please, take it. You deserve this as a reminder of what you have accomplished for us here today."
Max took it, realizing it was the Warlock's Sacrificial Dagger itself.
Nikki gasped, "Guys! You know what that means?!"
"Uh…"
She rubbed her hands greedily. "Wishin' time!"
AN: Kind of wrapping things up soon.
Did anyone catch the YouTuber reference?