HEY HAROLD PLODDER FANS! Im baaaaack! AND NO I DID NOT GIVE UP ON THIS! Summer's comin up, and I'll have oodles and oodles of time to write! After this, three chapters to go and the first chapter of Harold Plodder will have been told! Here, read as Harold, Don, and Heidi come face to face with a new challange - the arrival of a baby dragon. Disclaimers: I do not own the Harry Potter series, but I DO own the following: the fifty-pack of Wizard's Magical Color-Changing Markers, Heidi's crazy spazzyness about exams, Hagger's butt (yes, its true), Heidi's (fake) suicide attempt, a drunk Hagger, and Banana the Texan Spiketail. AND VIOLA! =D

Chapter 14: Banana the Texan Spiketail

Apparently, Quiddle had much more guts than Harold, Don, and Heidi had predicted. He seemed to become paler and more terrified in the weeks passing, but didn't look as though he'd given in to Snake's demands yet. When they passed the third floor hallway, the three first years would lean up against the door to make sure Puffy was still hissing and snarling inside. Don started screaming at anyone who made fun of Quiddle's pathetic stutter, reducing a small first year Snufflepuff girl to tears and causing Snake to take twenty points from Diffindor.

Heidi, however, had much, much more on her mind than the Alchemist's Rock. She'd stolen Harold fifty-pack of Wizard's Magical Color-Changing Markers and started color coding her notes. Harold was already pissed enough about that, but now Heidi had been yelling at him and Don for not doing the same.

"Heidi, will you just chill?" said Don exasperatedly one night, yanking his schedule out of reach of the markers. "The exams are a while away!"

"Um, no they're not!" snapped Heidi.

Don threw up his hands. "They're ten weeks away!"

"And you think that's a while?" Heidi hissed. "What is the matter with you people? Can't you see that it's time to study? We need to study! Right now! Or else we all fail! And we'll be doomed! I can't believe I hadn't started earlier, I really can't believe it, I don't know what I was thinking, oh my God, I need to quit slacking, oh my, oh my…"

"HEIDI, SHUT UP!" roared Harold.

"Well, at least the teachers agree with me!" she shot back. It was true. The teachers of Pigzits were piling so much homework onto their backs that Harold was surprised he hadn't suffocated yet. So much for a fun, relaxing Easter holiday.

"Dittany, dittany, dittany…what the hell is dittany?" snapped Don angrily, flipping through the pages of his book. "How are we supposed to remember all this?"

"Hagger!" cried Harold suddenly. "What are you doing in the library?"

Heidi and Don both whipped around to see Hagger bending over a shelf with his butt taking up the whole aisle behind him. He straightened up quickly, his face red, clearly hiding something behind his back. "Uh - nuthin…jus' looking," he lied.

"What's behind your back, Hagger?" said Heidi slowly.

Hagger began to back away towards the door. "Um…me butt?"

"No Hagger, not your butt," snapped Heidi, while Harold and Don collapsed in a fit of giggles next to her. "What else?"

"Nuthin! It's just me butt!" he snapped. "And what are you doin' here, eh? Still tryin' to find out who Nick Sleighbell is?"

"Oh, we found him a long time ago," said Don loftily. "And we know what that giant monster cat thing is guarding, it's an Alchemist's -"

"Shhhh!" Hagger looked around wildly. "Don't yeh go yappin' about it here, there's too many witnesses!"

"Then we'll make an uninvited house call eventually and grill you for information," said Harold absentmindedly, still holding his schedule out of reach of the markers.

"Fine! Be a stalker like that!" Hagger began backing away. "Just - do yeh think yeh could give me some notice -"

"Nope."

"Dang. Well…gotta go!" He left the library, scratching his head.

Heidi leaped up and snatched Harold's schedule. "Don, go check and see what section he was in," she ordered.

"HEY!" Harold lunged for Heidi. "Give that back!"

Don got up uneasily and tiptoed over to the section, wisely taking his schedule with him. He came back with his face full of suspicion. "He was in the dragon section!"

"Here, you can have it back now," said Heidi, handing Harold his schedule. Harold took it and groaned at the bright pink and purple scribbled notes all over it. He stuffed it in his bag and said, "Hagger's always wanted a dragon, he said so when I met him."

"But that's illegal!" Don gasped.

Harold shrugged. "So is keeping a carnivorous cat on the third floor of a school."

"I wonder what he's up to?" Heidi mused.

They made the uninvited house call that evening. Harold knocked on the door, surprised to see that the curtains were closed and some windows had pieces of wood blocking them. Hagger opened the door, grabbed the three of them in his arm, and pulled them in, slamming the door behind them.

"Ow - Hagger! - OUCH!" yelled Don.

"Sorry," he grumbled, pushing them down onto a sofa. "Can't let anyone see inside."

It was blazing hot in the hut; even though it had been a warm day, there was a roaring fire in the fireplace. Hagger quickly poured some tea for the three of them and sat down at the table.

"So…yeh wanted to interrogate me?" he grunted.

"Yeah." Harold cut to the chase. "We want to know who…what else is guarding the Alchemist's Rock apart from that Puffy thing."

Hagger frowned. "I can't tell yeh that! One, I don't know meself. I've never been down there. And two, you three know too much already, what with yer snoopin' an' all…I wouldn't tell yeh if I did know!"

"Please, Hagger?" said Heidi, giving Hagger her best puppy dog face. "You know everything that goes on around here! After all, you're the best gamekeeper Pigzits has ever seen! …And you're pretty handsome, too," she added with a warm, affectionate smile. Hagger's face turned red with embarrassment. "We just want to know who helped with the guarding," she went on. "You know, who else Dunderbore trusted to keep the Alchemist's Rock safe."

Hagger straightened up in his chair, looking extremely proud of himself. Harold and Don grinned at Heidi.

"Well…I guess I could tell yeh that…lets see here…he borrowed Puffy from yours truly…and then the teachers did enchantments…" He started counting on his fingers. "Professor Spout, Professor Fitflick, Professor McGummable, Professor Quiddle, Dunderbore himself, and uhhh…oh yeah! Professor Snake!"

"Snake?" said Harold incredulously.

"Yes, Snake, the guy you think was trying to kill you and steal the Rock." Hagger rolled his eyes. "I told yeh, he's tryin' to protect the Rock, not steal it. Jeez!"

Harold glanced at Heidi and Don, and knew that they were all thinking the same thing: if Snake had helped protect the Rock, he must know all the enchantments the other teachers used to help - except Quiddle's, and of course, how to get past Puffy.

"Are you the only person who knows how to get past that cat, Hagger?" he asked.

"Yep. Just me and Dunderbore. No one else." He puffed out his chest.

"Hagger, could you please open a window?" gasped Don. Harold glanced at him and saw beads of sweat rolling down his neck. "Its boiling in here! Aaaaarg!"

"No, sorry, I can't do that." Hagger glanced at the fireplace. Harold, Don, and Heidi followed his gaze. Sitting in the fire was a huge, orange egg.

"Um, Hagger?" asked Don nervously. "How did you get that?"

"I won it!" Hagger exclaimed happily. "Some weirdo wanted to play Bingo with me in this old pub - and he bought me a bunch o' drinks, too - actually, I think he was pretty happy ter get rid of it."

"Don't blame him," Don groaned.

Heidi looked alarmed. "But, what are you going to do when it hatches?"

"Whattaya think I'm gonna do?" said Hagger incredulously. "Raise it, of course! I got some books here, I've been lookin' up how to take care of it, and I even found out what breed I got. This here is a Texan Spiketail!" He grinned wide.

"Hagger, listen to me," said Heidi. "You want to raise a dragon in your house. Your house is made of wood. When Cutesy Wootsy Dwagon has a temper tantrum, you'll no longer have any house!"

Hagger wasn't listening. He was too busy singing a lullaby while stroking the egg with the fire tongs.

So now they had yet another problem to worry about: what would happen to Hagger if anyone found out that he planned on raising a baby Texan Spiketail in his hut.

A few days later, Helga dropped a letter in Harold's Cheerios at breakfast. He wiped the envelope dry on Don's robes ("HEY!"), ripped it open, and unfolded the letter: Get yer butt down here, Harold! The egg's hatchin'!

"C'mon Heidi!" moaned Don as they trudged down to the Herbology greenhouses. "It's a real dragon hatching! Can't we cut class just once?"

"No way!" snapped Heidi angrily. "Like I said before, we've got ten weeks before exams and if we skip class now' we'll get in big trouble! And that's nothing compared to the fix Hagger will be in when someone finds out about what he's doing - mmph!" she protested, for Harold had just slapped his hand against her mouth. Snalfoy was only a few feet away, and had a pretty evil grin on his face. Harold didn't like it one bit.

"Oh, hey Snalfoy!" he called cheerily. "Don't listen to Heidi, she hit her head last night trying to jump out the Diffindor Tower window…guess exams are getting to everyone, huh?" Heidi gave him a murderous look, and Snalfoy stared at both of them in confusion. Before they could screw anything else up, Don pushed them into the greenhouse.

The second the bell rang, Harold, Don, and Heidi sprinted down to Hagger's hut and burst through the door. Hagger had the egg on the table and was staring at it with utmost concentration.

"It's almost out!" he whispered excitedly, without looking up.

No sooner did the three of them sit down when there was a loud crack! The egg split down the middle and a tiny, bright yellow scaly think rolled out onto the table. If Harold had to compare it to something, he would compare it to a shriveled up banana skin that had wings.

"That looks like a shriveled banana skin," Don observed.

"I'll name 'im Banana, then!" cried Hagger triumphantly. Heidi rolled her eyes, then leaped away as the banana-dragon sneezed blue sparks in her direction.

Suddenly Harold gasped - he jumped up and ran to the window. "That miserable, snooping, little newt!"

"What? What?" yelped Don, running over too. Heidi joined them and they all looked out the window to see a pale-skinned boy sprinting back up to the castle.

Snalfoy had seen Banana.

Over the next week, Snalfoy had been shooting very nasty, evil looks in Harold's direction, and it was beginning to piss him off. So he, Don, and Heidi went back down to Hagger's hut and tried to talk some sense into him.

"Just let him go!" Heidi begged, her hair all frazzled from arguing for so long.

"I can't!" Hagger moaned, shaking his head vigorously. "He's too small. He'd die!"

"But Hagger, Snalfoy's gonna turn you in!" Harold said for the tenth time. "And then you'll be fired, and we'll never hear the end of it!"

"No! I'm never sending him away! Never!"

Don slammed his head onto the table. Heidi looked about ready to copy him when suddenly her eyes lit up, and Harold knew she had an idea. "Hey Hagger," she said, grinning slowly. "Got any beer?"

It only took twenty minutes to get Hagger drunk. He lay with his head slumped over the table, one arm hanging free and the other grasping his empty glass.

"So, can we send Banana away yet?" asked Heidi pleasantly.

"Uhhhnnn…whut? No…he's my…draggy-poo…" murmured Hagger.

"Have another drink." Heidi took the beer bottle and poured the last of it into Hagger's glass. Robotically, Hagger gulped it down.

"Please let it work this time," Don groaned. Harold didn't say anything - he was too preoccupied in dodging Banana's sneeze-sparks.

"So, can we send Banana away yet?" Heidi repeated to Hagger.

"Uhhhhnnnn…erg…Banana? Whosthat?" Hagger grunted, blinking slowly.

"He's a poor defenseless dragon that showed up on your doorstep, and the only way he can survive is if you let us send him to safety," blurted Don without thinking.

"I…I've always wanted…a…baby draggy…poo…"

"You wouldn't condemn a baby dragon to death, would you?" Heidi pretended to gasp.

"N…no! O'course not…" Hagger forced out.

"Then let us take him," Harold begged quietly. "It's his only hope."

Hagger was silent for a few moments. Then he finally said, "O…kay…save 'im…please…."

"No problem," said Heidi cheerily. "It's been a pleasure doing business with you, Hagger."

Hagger fainted.

"Quick, help me get Banana into the crate," whispered Heidi. Harold leaped up and dragged the ready crate out from behind the woodstove. They put a few old blankets into it, along with a unicorn doll that they hoped to God wasn't Hagger's, and very carefully lowered the yellow dragon into it.

"Now what are we going to do with him?" Harold complained. "If we release him into the Big Scary Forest he could find his way back here!"

"It's all arranged," said Don happily. "I wrote a letter to Charles, my brother, asking if he could take him. He's going to be up at the Astronomy Tower tonight at midnight."

"Great!" puffed Heidi, lifting the crate. "Harold and I will bring Banana up there, and you stay here and dispose of all evidence of us getting Hagger drunk."

"Yeah, we don't want that on our permanent record," grumbled Don.

Harold threw the Invisibility Blankie over him and Heidi, and they set off.

About twenty-five minutes later, they were heaving the crate up the Astronomy Tower steps. Unfortunately, the crate made a loud clunk every step.

"Can't you lift it higher?" hissed Heidi, obviously terrified of being caught. Clunk.

"No, I can't," said Harold through gritted teeth. Clunk.

"Well try to stop that clunking, or someone will see us!" Clunk.

"No one's going to see us, Heidi, we're under the Invisibility Blankie!" Clunk.

"Well then they'll hear us!" she snapped. Clunk. "OW THAT WAS MY FOOT YOU IDIOT!"

"They'll definitely hear us now," muttered Harold, rolling his eyes, as Heidi cursed loudly while hopping on one foot. Suddenly he heard voices back down the staircase. "Shhh!" he breathed, slapping a hand to her mouth.

"But Professor! I know he's coming here! I stole his brother's reply out of some book on Dittany!" Snalfoy's voice, no doubt about it.

"Oh? And where is this letter?" asked Professor McGummable dryly.

"Well…I don't have it right now…I um…kinda dropped it in the toilet."

Harold had to stuff his fist in his mouth to keep his laughter unheard.

"Do you know how many times I've heard that?" snapped McGummable. "Give me a break. Now go to bed. Twenty points from Hisserin and a detention for you!" and she dragged him away by the ear.

Heidi had no trouble lifting the crate for the remainder of the journey. "Snalfoy's got detention! Snalfoy's got detention!" she sang.

"Heidi, shut up," Harold pleaded.

At the top of the tower, Charles and his buddies were waiting. Harold and Heidi helped them suspend the crate between their brooms in a clever harness they had constructed. Heidi gave Charles a hug, and Harold shook his hand. Finally, they were nothing but specks against the moon. Banana was gone.

"We did it, Harold!" cried Heidi, skipping down the stairs. "Banana's gone, our lives aren't endangered, and we can focus on studying now! What could possibly go wrong?"

The answer was at the foot of the stairs. Filth was waiting there, holding a giant wet mop and leering at them. "Well well well," he growled. "Having a little nighttime stroll, are we?"

They had forgotten the Invisibility Blankie at the top of the stairs.

Tadaaaa! How was it? I think this was a bit shorter than past chapters...hahaha! Sweet! Now I'm contemplating on doing the second book after this one...opinions? Actually I think I'm definitely going to do it. The question is...will you read it? And I need a name suggestion for the Chamber of Secrets. So if anyone has any ideas, tell me in your review somewhere! Please! And thanks for reading! =3