Holy. Crap. I have never written so much, so fast before. I think this is my longest chapter ever! I wanted to make it long for you guys because you're awesome, and I love you all so much. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and a special thanks to Lieutenant of the BVB army, QueenEAC, and Boccochan832 for your reviews/pms on chapter thirteen. I really loved them! And thank you to everybody who has stuck with this. Ohmyjesus, I am being so emotional right now. I can't believe this is ending! I'm filled with an equal amount of happiness and sadness. Well. I'll stop blabbing now, hope you enjoy this last installment of: Hunger
Zexionienzo
The year was 1943, meaning that I was nineteen years old, my young adult years flushed down the drain, and my innocence stripped from me. I was an orphan, with no living family left. Frou Red, who had demanded I call her Angelina after she helped me escape that place, helped me settle in a home on the outskirts of Reims, France. It was somewhere between Strausburg and Paris, and in the small stone house resided the owners, two German women with hearts as warm as melted butter. As soon as I entered the house, Frou Red right behind me, I was assaulted with hugs and kisses all over my face. It was like I was eight years old again and visiting my Aunt Jean's home.
"Darling, mien Kind! Come in, oh you are so skinny! Just bones and skin! Don't worry wenig engel, we will make you big and strong again, like a lion!" The women's round red faces chuckled cheerily as they led me inside.
"He can stay anywhere except the white room." Angelina said softly before taking her leave. I wondered why she said that. What would a white room have to do with anything?
It was at the kind, full hands of these two women, Oma and Mutti as they told me to call them that I recuperated. They fed me so much food I thought I would burst, told me great stories about their young lives and the adventures they had, and let me help around the house to keep my mind from wandering too far. There were three other boys and two girls living with us. There was Alfonse from Paris, Josiah and Abraham, brothers from Poland, Kizzy from Romania, and Gertrude from Germany. The girls didn't ever talk much, and none of us ever talked about how we got here, why we escaped, and why we were taken from our families. For us, it no longer mattered; we just wanted to be free.
Not being in the presence of so many people for such a long time took some getting used to. Alfonse was a chatter box, and he reminded me of Aloise the way he would strut around the house doing his chores. For the first week I was at Oma and Mutti's place, I hardly spoke a word to anybody. Slowly I warmed up, and Kizzy and I began teaching each other words from our native tongue. It was a fun game to play; we would sit across from each other and exchange insulting or praising phrases, laughing at each other's pronunciation or tone as we spoke the foreign words. It was like we were children playing in a school yard again, these little things gave us back some of the sanity we'd lost while we were beaten and tortured for too many years.
One day, when Oma and Mutti were arguing about what to cook for dinner, and everybody was busy, I decided to go exploring around the house. It was small, but I had never really gone farther than my own room, the kitchen, or the yard. I realized after a while what Angelina must've meant about the "white room"; the room I shared with Alfonse was called the "blue room" due to its decoration in entirely blue. The kitchen was the "pink room" Josiah and Abraham's room the "green room" and Kizzy and Gertrude's room the "orange room". I walked cautiously up the wooden stairs and down the picture-frame lined hall. Kizzy and Gertrude's room was at the top of the stairs, and down the hallway were two more rooms whose doors were closed directly across from each others'. I took to the door on the left first. Its knob opened smoothly and inside I discovered what must've been the "red room". All the furniture, from the closet door to the bed to the rug were all varying shades of red. It was a rich, seamless color plastered to the walls that caught my eye. I quietly walked my way to the wall at the far end of the room and next to a window overlooking the bright, green backyard. My hand slipped from my side to rest against the walls cool, smooth surface and I began trembling. There was something itching at the back of my mind. I closed my eyes and leaned, shivering against the wall. Images began dancing behind my closed lids. Sebastian staring at me as we lay together, his eyes boring into mine when we "showered", his beautiful, bright eyes overflowing with tears as he was taken down the hall and away from me.
I felt my own eyes betray me as hot tears left wet stains down my cheeks. I quickly opened my eyes and ran out of the room, shutting the door closed behind me and taking a deep, shaky breath. I shook my head and wiped the tear-streaks away. I had to find him. What if he thought I was dead? What if he'd moved on and found someone else that he could lay with, hold hands, kiss…
No. no, I couldn't think about that. I had to have faith and hope that Sebastian was still out there, rebuilding his life and searching for me as desperately as I wished I could search for him.
I took another deep breath to clear my head and turned the knob of the second door before me. This knob was more difficult to open than the other had; it was slightly rusty and the hinges creaked as the door slid open noisily. I closed my eyes and walked into the room, the door shutting behind me suddenly startling me into opening my eyes. As my lids flew open, I regretted ever going on this little "adventure". The walls hadn't been painted or covered in wall paper; there were no windows, the only light coming from a disgusting, horrifying white lamp in the far corner on a white rug, covering the floor from wall to wall. There was a white bookshelf and a white chest and a white drawer and on the far side of the room a bed with white posts, and white sheets and blankets and white pillows. I backed up slowly against the door as my head began spinning. My palms were wet with sweat, and my entire body was quacking in fear. This must be the "white room" that I had been so forbidden from entering.
I closed my eyes, I had to get away from that horrid absence of color, but the image of the room was burned into my mind. And as I looked around and noticed more white, the plain walls morphed into tiled ones, and the floor became cold concrete beneath my suddenly bare, frozen feet. The bed was now a long metal table with brown leather straps, holding my brother strapped down. I tried to stop it. I tried to get away. I clawed at the door, but it wouldn't open. It was locked shut.
"NO! LET ME OUT! God, oh God, no…please, no!" I cried and cried as I struggled to leave the room. Its white confines had me by the neck, forcing me to watch as the miserably horrid scene played like a sick, demented theater performance before me. I was just the audience, watching with gripping fear violently running through my veins, unable to do a thing to stop the actors before me. The blade shined in the magnificent spotlight, running down my brother's body as if taunting me, tempting me to hope that it wouldn't protrude. I whimpered and tried shielding my eyes from the scene, but even behind closed lids, it was stuck in my mind and would not end until the fateful close. But suddenly, everything went black and my brother was no longer on the metal table. I sighed with relief, thinking it was over until I realized I couldn't move. I frantically pulled and clawed at my arms and ankles, but it was of no use. This time, it was me under the horrible white light with the horrible, doctor and the terrifying knife in this sick, sick performance, with me as the leading actor. The knife came closer and closer to me, its sharp, horrifying blade gleaming in the light. And I was crying, tears streaming down my face.
"No! PLEASE NO! Oh god, oh GOD! Don't- DON'T!" I froze in terror as the blade touched my skin, barely leaving a scratch. Just as it had done to my brother's body, it was drawn across my stomach without penetrating the skin. Then, slowly, very terrifyingly slow, the blade came to a stop in the middle of my chest, and plunged deep, deep into my-
"!" I screamed my head off. I screamed and screamed and thrashed and clawed at my constraints. I couldn't take it anymore; my brain was going fuzzy, mindless with terror as the blade plunged again and again into my body, the pain coursing through my veins like fire.
And then, just as suddenly as it started, it all went away. My screams stopped, reduced to muffled whimpers and cries, my whole body shuddering and trembling terribly. Big, strong fluffy arms surrounded me and rocked me back and forth. A loud, calming voice shooshed in my ear and whispered sweet, calming words. I didn't have a clue what they were, as they were in German, and the only words in German I knew were "Shut up" or "Move faster, pig". I looked curiously up at this strange, wonderful persons face. It was Oma. Mutti was behind her, shooshing the other kids and sending them down stairs. I looked over my shoulder at the door to That room and shivered, burying my face in Oma's large, soft chest as a second round of sobs racked my body.
"Shhhhh, mien engel, shhhh. Be calm; don't let the devils of your past revive in your future. Let them die away now. Shhhh." It was that night that I cried myself to sleep in Oma's arms, and was laid to rest in my beautiful, beautiful "blue room". Blue. I liked that color. It was nice.
I slept for a day and a half without opening my eyes or stirring once. Oma said it was "To get the evil spirits out of me". When I awoke, Alfonse was sitting on his bed across from mine. I slowly sat up and stared at him with my one good eye. The boy smiled sadly at me.
"You sleep good?" I laughed at that. Sleep good? Never. I didn't think I would ever get to sleep well again after that.
I was grateful to the others, as they didn't question or mention anything about my screaming fit. All but Alfonse did tend to avoid me a bit though, giving me curious looks as I entered the room. I didn't mind though, not if I didn't have to talk or think about IT.
Days passed, and then weeks. I was growing restless. My mind kept wandering to Sebastian, until he was constantly on my mind, the only thing I could think about. I went to Oma about it.
"Oma, might I ask you something?" the large woman turned and smiled brightly from her cooking. It seemed like Oma and Mutti were always cooking, making food for their "wenig engels".
"Anything, darling." I smiled lightly and sat on a stool at the kitchen table.
"I…I think I need to look for…for Him." I said quietly. I still hadn't spoken His name since the last time I'd seen Him. Oma chuckled and stirred her broth.
"That, my boy. Is not a question." I sighed and rubbed the back of my head.
"Well, I guess I just don't know what to do. I don't even know where to start!" I said, throwing my hands in the air in exasperation.
"I guess…I guess I'm asking you for advice." Oma nodded her head in thought before speaking softly.
"Well, I think you already have your answer." She said, turning to look at me again, her face serious. I scrunched up my nose.
"What do you mean? I wouldn't have asked you if I-" I started, but Oma interrupted me.
"Do you love this boy?" I felt my cheeks flare with heat, and I nodded my head sheepishly.
"And does he love you?" I nodded my head again.
"I-I think so, but-" Oma held up a hand.
"Then you have your answer. Love has no boundaries, love can overcome any obstacles." And with that she went back to stirring, as silent as a fox. I thought about her words for a moment. I mulled them over in mind, twisting them around and pulling them apart. "Do you love this boy?"
I nodded my head again. Yes. I think I understood now.
"Thank you Oma." She turned and smiled again as I got up and went to my room and began to pack my things.
I stood on the stone steps up to Oma and Mutti's house. Alfonse, Josiah, Abraham, Kizzy and Gertrude were all hugging me, tears in their eyes and smiles on their faces.
"Good luck, Ciel! We wish you luck on your voyage! Have faith in your journey!" As I turned away from them, Alfonse whispered in my ear in Danish words so no one else could hear, "go get him, tiger~" I blushed madly and swatted him away.
"Oh shoosh!" the boy giggled and hopped back to his place, waving me off. As I turned away, again I was assaulted, but this time by two sets of large, comforting arms.
"You didn't think you could get away so easily, did you!"
"Yes, how could you forget about us?" Mutti mock-cried. Oma hit her lightly on the shoulder.
"Oh come off it, he's a young boy in love!" the two women chuckled heartily at my reddening cheeks and they both gave me a good-bye kiss. I felt Oma press something into my palm as she walked away.
"Don't forget this, mien wenig engel!" As I walked away I opened my palm a stared in wonder at a small, heart-shaped locket. I grinned and clasped it around my neck. I looked to the brightening sky high above me as I took my first step closer to Sebastian.
It had been three weeks since I started my search, and I had come up with nothing. Frou Red had suggested to me to search in Paris, or France in general; she didn't think that he'd have left his home country. But France was so huge! How could I find a single person in the thousands, millions of its inhabitants? My doubts were wearing me thin; everyday that passed made my heart ache without his touch, without his voice or his eyes. The only thing that stopped me from trailing from my search was the thought that every day I lived was bringing me closer to him.
I was staying overnight at an Inn outside of Paris. I had just gotten to the magnificent city two days ago, and had stayed at a different place every night under a different name. I started with the East side of the city and planned on working my way across, asking everybody I met and spoke with if they'd seen Him.
My search was to no avail. Nobody had ever heard of a man named "Sebastian" with burgundy eyes, no less. I was getting antsy. My money was running dangerously low, and I had been eating less and stealing just to make it through another day. The crowds of Paris were thick with people. Women and children, Men and boys, every and all walks of life traveled the streets. The only set back was the soldiers that paraded through every once and a while. Every time I saw one in their Wartime uniforms I quickly shuffled by and kept my gaze at the ground, trembling like a leaf.
"Hey boy, you look a bit thin. Do you think you could use some food?" I looked up and came face to face with a tall, handsome man with blonde hair, striking green eyes, glasses, and a toothy smile. I gave him a glare and held myself as tall as I could, which wasn't nearly as tall as this man (though I would never admit to that).
"What makes you think that? I'm no beggar." The man smiled even wider and chuckled softly.
"All I'm saying is that you look a bit Hungry. Maybe food, specifically isn't what you're craving?" The man grinned wickedly at my confusion. His hand snaked around my waist as he pulled me towards a tall, brick building.
"Come inside and I'll get you all warmed up." He said, his voice silky smooth. I tried to get out of his grasp.
"I'm sorry, sir, but its mid July and I think "warming up" is not something I need right now." I said quickly. I could see vaguely where this was going, and it wasn't anywhere I wanted it to be.
"Ronald, let the poor boy go, it's quite obvious you're not his type." A voice came from within in the door way as "Ronald" opened it. The blonde haired man pouted like a child.
"But he's so pretty! I just want him for my own!" The voice behind the door chuckled.
"Yes, yes well, why don't we let him in out of this heat, hm?" Ronald frowned and stomped like a little boy through the door and down the hallway. I attentively walked in and jumped as the door closed behind me.
"Ciel?" I turned toward the same voice as before. How could this person know me? But I didn't have time to contemplate this question as I was brought to the ground in a flash of electric-orange hair.
"Lavi?" I asked incredulously. The red-head looked up at me, tears evident in his green orbs and the biggest smile I had ever seen, plastered to his face.
"Ciel! I can't believe it; we all thought you were long dead after they took you and Sebastian away! But you're not, your right here! Wow. I can't believe this. This is crazy! To think that both of you managed to escape…just…wow. This is so fantastic!" Ciel's eyes widened at Lavi's words. Wait. He'd seen Sebastian?
"Lavi! Lavi, please tell me, how do you know Sebastian has survived?" I asked, my voice trembling. Lavi stared at me, dumbfounded for a moment before his face brightened up in recognition.
"Oh! He came here round about two months ago, now that I think about it, probably around the same circumstances as you, Ronald trying to seduce him, I suppose. He looked miserable, I gotta tell you. His eyes were all red-and not just the irises- looked like he hadn't slept in days! And he wouldn't stop talking about you, it was so sad. He really missed ya. Wait until he hears! Woo-hoo! Won't HE be just as happy as a clam!" I cut Lavi off from his blabbering by pulling him into a tight hug.
"Where is he? Please, oh Please tell me Lavi! I NEED to know!" I gripped his shoulders as I trembled with excitement. So he was here, and probably close! Lavi smiled.
"Sorry little dude, I only know where he works, and as the sun is long since dipped down, curfew's up and he won't be working anymore. But I can show you his bakery bright and early tomorrow morning. How does that sounds?" I shook my head miserably.
"No! I need to see him now! How could I ever wait an entire night now that I know that he's so close!" I asked, eyes wide. Lavi just chuckled and ruffled my hair.
"Chill out, just think: one night of waiting and an entire lifetime with that dude. See where I'm going? It will make seeing him all the better." I sighed and nodded my head. Lavi was probably right, but that didn't stop my heart from racing in my chest, or my veins from going crazy with adrenaline and excitement.
I soon discovered that this building was a kind of brothel. I shuddered at the thought, but Lavi was the owner of the building and the business dedicated to the pleasure of every and any person that happened to walk past the blue door our front. Ronald Knox was a man Lavi had found on the streets of this great city, and had offered him a home-only to discover that the man was chronically horny. Ciel couldn't help but chuckle at this, and caught the reassuring gaze of his long-lost friend, whose eyes told volumes more than his words. They gave breath to his past, his sadness, his love, his freedom, and his imprisonment.
"Alright Ciel. Here's your room. Sleep tight, and I'll see you in the morning." I nodded and headed into the room. I turned on the lamp and laid down on the black-sheathed bed. I couldn't stop thinking about Sebastian. In less than twenty four hours, I would get to see him again, touch him again, love him again. I smiled soundly and wrapped my arms around a fluffy pillow, closing my eyes and falling gratefully into a dreamless sleep.
The road was cobblestoned. There were tall, black lamp posts lining the sides of the walks, and small businesses and shops up and down the street. Lavi had said this was one of the many shopping districts of Paris, located in the center of the city with many attractions. I marveled at the beauty of this place. It was huge and full of life, it was amazing. Lavi claimed that Sebastian's shop was a bakery called, "Mon Pere Celeste" meaning, "My Heavenly". I smiled lightly, remembering when Sebastian had given me my name with such a similar meaning.
My fingers tingled and my heart beat erratically with excitement as I slowly approached my destination. The bakery was on the corner intersection of two streets. A blue sign was posted outside that read "Freshly baked bread and other goods". I turned to look inside. It was full of people; the small bakery had chairs and tables along the front creating a small café, serving treats and hot drinks to its customers. My stomach tumbled and flip flopped as I opened the door, and I jumped at the sound of the jingling bell above me. It had been years since I'd stepped foot into a bakery, and never had I been in one as marvelous as this one.
My eyes searched, straining around the small Café and bakery in search of him, but nothing familiar caught my eye. I balled my hands into fists and took one more swoop before sighing and taking a step forward. It was at that moment that I looked up, and spotted a tall, lean man with jet black hair carrying a tray of steaming cups over to a table, just a few feet in front of me. He wore a black, buttoned-down shirt with a blue apron tied around his thin waist. My breath caught in my chest, and my head began spinning. It was like everything was suddenly in slow motion. He very slowly straightened up from bending over to put the cups down, his long black hair shielding his face. I felt my heart racing against my ribs, and I was sure I would burst as realization and recognition burned through my body. My body was humming, and the world stopped turning for a just a moment, as I saw this beautiful man that stood not a body's length away from me.
"Sebastian." I breathed, my voice hardly coming above a whisper and inaudible amongst the noise of the café, but nonetheless, as if he'd heard me, that beautiful, beautiful man turned around and his magnificent, shinning burgundy eyes met my own.
There was a loud clatter as a tray fell to the ground, seeming to silence the whole room as everybody in it turned to stare at the man who'd dropped it. He was staring at me, his body began trembling slightly, and he took a step towards me, as if unsure whether or not he was seeing things.
"C-Ciel?" I couldn't take it anymore. I ran straight into his arms, gripping his waist with all I had, tears streaming down my face and my voice trembling as I spoke.
"It's me! It's me! Oh God, Sebastian, I-I can't believe you're really ali-" I was cut off from my hysterical rambling as soft lips crashed against my own. I didn't recoil from his touch as he pulled me close to him. I wrapped my arms around his long, pale neck and kissed him back with all I had. My heart was beating so fast, so, so very fast in my chest, soaring high above me. I felt like a bird, I felt like I could fly away at any moment.
It was when we heard whistles and claps from all around us that I remembered that we were not, in fact, alone, but in the middle of a café. We tentatively pulled away from each other, and I could feel a heat rising in my cheeks. Sebastian was crying, and I was crying, and the people around us were crying, and I was just so filled with joy I could hardly contain myself. I hugged Sebastian hard and he gripped me back, refusing to let go.
"Oh Ciel, oh I missed you. I never thought I would see you again." He whispered sadly into my ear. I felt more tears leak from my eyes and kissed his cheek.
"Me neither." I said breathily. Sebastian held me close and raised his head to the people at the café.
"Hello everybody! This is Ciel." Everybody in the café turned and smiled at me. I blushed profusely and smiled back at them. I couldn't even really feel embarrassed, I held to much happiness and love in my chest to feel anything else at that moment. Sebastian bent down and kissed me again, before picking up his tray and leading me to an empty table.
"Come on, I bet you're Hungry. Let me get you a treat."
*cries* hgDSZvfck I am still, like so totally freaking out. I love you all to death and NOT SO SURPRISE: There WILL be an epilogue. *eye brow waggle* a sexy smexy epilogue, mwahahaha~ please R&R to let me know what you thought. Was it a bad ending? Good? Baby, I gotta know!