A/N Chapter 14 whoo! I don't know how to feel about this chapter. To me, it feels like a transition chapter, which is quite essential despite having nothing major happen. But yeah, hope you enjoy it regardless :)

DISCLAIMER: This fic contains views/opinions/actions etc that may be controversial. A major part of the story is about cheating, and I just want to say that just because I write about it, there is no piece of me that supports such behaviour. If reading about this type of thing is not your cup of tea, you are free to read something else. Thanks. :) x

"So you have feelings for her?"

[14]

Ed tried not to jog back to the dorms. She marched down the halls, praying she got to her dorm without Derrick being anywhere near it.

After last night, she couldn't face him. The way she'd stood up and just left, with no explanation, had immediately created a tension between them that had never been there. She'd felt it thickening between them, especially when Derrick didn't try to stop her from leaving.

He didn't ask where she was going, hadn't tried to make amends. Nothing. It was unknown to her if he'd left as well, if he went back to the dorms to see if she'd gone back there.

If he had, then he would've been disappointed. She could've gone for a walk to clear her mind, or gone to grab something to eat to calm her down. But, she worried that, if he'd come here last night, those possibilities wouldn't have crossed his mind. The first thing her mind made her believe he would think was that she went to Roy.

Which was the truth, and his aversion to Roy still annoyed her, even though it was now a bit justified. But he didn't know about her and Roy's...situation.

Her thoughts were just taking a turn, when she spotted Derrick outside of her dorm. He was frowning at the door, apparently having knocked only to get no reply. Ed's heart hammered in her chest in panic; she'd need an excuse. But she was also angry at him, disappointed in their failed attempt to patch things up between them, and she simply didn't want to speak to him right now.

But, Derrick never seemed to understand all that.

Hearing her footsteps, Derrick turned, looking surprised. "Where were you?" he asked, incredulously. "I've come here twice and you weren't in!"

Ed pursed her lips. It was just like him to act like nothing happened. He hated confrontation, and would avoid it at all costs. Even if that meant leaving a big issue in their relationship unresolved, while knowing it upset her.

"I was angry last night," she bit out. The mention of last night made him frown and fidget uncomfortably. Ed had a sudden thought to push the issue further, just to watch him squirm, but decided against it.

It wasn't worth it.

She sighed, crossing her arms. "I slept in a hotel. Didn't feel like coming back here."

Derrick frowned. "Where did you get enough money for a hotel room?"

Ed clenched her teeth. "The academy pays us. I save up."

She was clearly irritated now, and Derrick decided to drop the conversation.

Already she yearned for the peace Roy's little abode offered, the comfortable air between them a direct contrast to this.

Why had she even left? She'd worried about Derrick fruitlessly waiting here, but, didn't he deserve to be given the cold shoulder?

She could've just come with Roy here and gone straight to the stupid political lecture. It would've saved her mood, which was currently plummeting.

Ignoring his silence, she moved to unlock the door. She did have a lecture to go to, and even though it was General Krayon's lecture – the major boring asshole who only talked about great politicians – anything was more entertaining than having to bear Derrick's awkward silence.

She had a lot to think about, from all the things Roy had admitted to her just a half hour before, to the weird butterfly feeling he gave her when he admitted said things. Her mind was running through everything simultaneously, and it was tiring. She was restless.

During the lecture, at least, she could zone out, think about everything that needed to be analysed. Even if Roy was next to her, he had Maes to talk to when she gave him the silent treatment. It wasn't like the alchemy lecture, where he was so bored he would pester her to death.

"Where are you going?" Derrick asked her, as they both walked in her slightly messy room. She had almost forgotten he was there, her mind already focusing on her thoughts.

Without sparing him a glance, she muttered, "I have a lecture in five," as she rummaged through her drawers for something fresh to wear.

She would've preferred to have a shower, especially after what went on at Roy's house, but there was no time now.

"Oh," Derrick said simply, standing awkwardly at the doorway.

Seeing as he wasn't moving, she glared at him. "I need to get dressed, Derrick."

He got the point, flushing before spluttering an apology and shutting the door behind him.

Once alone, Ed sighed. Keeping up with everything was so much work.

By the time she was done pulling on her casual academy attire, brushed her hair and opened the door, Derrick was nowhere to be seen. Instead, the familiar figure of Roy was what her eyes settled on. He was, as usual, leaning against the wall by her dorm room.

Once she stepped out, he looked at her, and grinned. She grinned back.

Thankfully, he hadn't bumped into Derrick again it seemed.

"Hey," Roy greeted casually, raising his eyebrows.

"Hello," she greeted back. A smirk slid on his face.

He'd seemed a bit dejected when she left his house, but now he'd apparently bounced back. She would dare say he was in a good mood.

As they walked down the halls, books in hand, Roy carried on the little joke. "How was your morning?"

Ed's lips twitched. "It was all right, I guess." Glancing at his frowning face from the corner of her eye, she smirked.

"Just all right? Mine was wonderful."

"Good to know."

He huffed, keeping silent after that. Yet there was no ill tension, just the casual silence. It made Ed think when exactly she'd managed that with Roy.

There had always been tension between them. Whether that was from insults flying and annoyance reaching its peak, or from the sexual tension she now admitted had very clearly existed between them, there was always a form of tension that had made her feel on edge around Roy.

Yet now that was nonexistent.

She didn't have time to contemplate it more as they met up with Maes, who waved at them excitedly.

"Hello, you two! Bout time you showed up!" He glanced at Roy pointedly. "Don't think I didn't notice you skipping this morning, Roy! I always tell you! Go to bed earlier so you can wake up early! That's a child's rule!"

Maes babbled on as he always did, and it brightened Ed's mood. Maes was definitely a great distraction from everything. He always had something to talk about, and if you focused on what he was saying, sometimes he even managed to make you interested in any mundane topic.

Roy barely replied to him, but Maes wasn't deterred, going on and on.

He turned his attention to her, just as they entered the lecture hall. "How was your morning, Ed? You had shooting practice right?"

"Yeah, it was fine."

The conversation paused momentarily as they found seats at the far back, as usual. Roy sat in the middle, with Ed on his left and Maes on his right. Ed was, thankfully, next to the wall, so no-one else was next to her.

Roy placed his books down as well as a plastic cup of coffee she hadn't noticed before.

"Another coffee?" she said in disbelief, elbowing him lightly. "You had one this morning!"

As soon as she realised how that sounded, it was too late.

Roy stared at her, and Maes had raised his eyebrows, looking between them. Her face was on fire.

Shit. That had come out way too wrong. It'd been different in her head!

There was no way she could save that. Not from Maes.

"I-I mean...You said you had one this morning..."

If anything, that made Maes even more suspicious, for he narrowed his eyes. He sat back, observing silently. She was keeping an eye on him, and she hoped Roy had noticed what he was doing.

Yet Roy wasn't saying anything. It was frustrating and confusing beyond belief, because that was just giving Maes the answer he was waiting for.

She nearly smacked his knee discretely in order to get some reaction, but Maes spoke.

"Hey, Ed..." he said, frowning at her. Ed flushed under the scrutiny of his bright emerald eyes. To anyone else, what she had said wouldn't have raised suspicion. But Maes wasn't aiming for the Investigations department for nothing, and he knew both Ed and Roy well. "Don't you have a boyfriend?"

Ed spluttered, her heart accelerating. "Y-Yeah I do."

Maes glanced between them again, a calculative look on his face. His gaze lingered on Roy, as though he wanted to say something, but was refraining. Then, for a split second, his gaze flickered to her, before he leaned into Roy.

Roy was sipping his coffee, when Maes slapped him hard on the back, making him choke. He leaned closer, into his ear, but Ed could faintly hear the whispered words.

"I told you to take her out on a date, not seduce her afterwards!"

If possible, Ed blushed further. He what? They had talked about...?

Then, he turned back to Ed. The disappointment she saw on his face was like a dagger through her heart. "Shame, I finally met the guy today, we hit it off great. He seems like a good kid."

"Trust me," Roy grunted. "He's the devil incarnate."

Ed frowned. If Roy had said that a few days ago, she would've punched his arm in admonishment. But now she let it slide. The guilt was erupting inside of her like a volcano. She had to clench her hands to stop it from getting too overwhelming.

She turned away from them.

There were so many things wrong with this...

Just as General Krayon walked in, Maes mumbled, "I just hope you know what you're doing, you two."

But Ed wasn't sure she knew.

After that, he was silent, as was Roy. That fact alone said a lot about the little incident just now. Maes and Roy were always interacting in some way during General Krayon's lectures.

It left her with her thoughts. The General was going on and on with things Ed couldn't give a shit about, talking about war strategies as if they were the most interesting topic, and her mind wound back to just this morning.

To Roy. To her, To...this that had happened between them. This that she feared was getting a bit too important to her.

For a flash, she contemplated stopping it. But her heart clenched in protest, and she discarded the thought. She was already too fucked up; practically breaking up with Roy would hurt her more than relieve her conscience.

It would make her absolutely miserable, and probably destroy their friendship. And, a slight flutter in her stomach told Ed that, even if she tried to stop, the attraction she felt for Roy would always win, making her run back to him like a pathetic puppy.

And she was not embarrassing herself like that.

It was bad enough Roy had seen how desperate she was for his touch most of the time.

And that brought her to another dilemma of hers. The confused thoughts swimming in her mind were endless, and Roy just kept throwing more in.

What he said this morning had made a dangerous feeling erupt inside of her, one she was positive she'd never felt before. It was dangerous because it was unknown, and therefore required further analysing; she needed to keep it in check.

But even after that decision, she still considered what he said.

Would going on the pill, like he'd suggested, somehow change their 'relationship'? Or show more feelings than she wanted displayed? Did she even trust him enough for that?

It had only been a month or so since they started being...friends with benefits...While Roy might be sleeping exclusively with her, she had no idea if that would continue. What if he got bored? Would he tell her, or try to spare her feelings for the sake of their friendship?

She was completely perplexed, and found herself wanting to sit down for a very detailed conversation, one where Roy's full intentions regarding her were in the spotlight.

Roy wasn't a relationship person. That was possibly the first thing she had learned about him. He didn't like to be tied down, hated it in fact. And she couldn't demand something like that of him, not when she was already in a relationship.

Their situation was so complicated that for a second she speculated maybe Roy's suggestion had been a spur of the moment thing. She didn't know how to feel about that.

Did he think her going on the pill would be convenient? He wouldn't have to buy condoms, unless he bought them to sleep with others...

But then again...what he'd told her today had shocked her. His admission had seemed so sincere. Actually, it had been sincere, since Ed could more times than not understand when Roy was bullshitting.

And then there was the fact that he refrained from lying to her. Ed didn't know what was up with that, since everyone lied even innocently, yet Roy avoided flat-out lying like the plague.

She should ask him about that some time.

From the corner of her eye, she glanced at him. He was slumped in his seat, his teeth absently biting the straw of his now empty coffee cup. He was staring straight ahead at the General, yet he didn't appear to be listening. Maybe he was thinking about the little incident with Maes. Maybe he was angry with her for accidentally revealing their secret.

But why would he be? He had clearly talked about her with Maes. It made Ed a bit suspicious, but she didn't want to make assumptions too quickly.

As though sensing her eyes on him, he turned slightly, catching her gaze. Ed waited for a second, debating whether to turn away, when Roy sent her a small smirk and broke eye contact.

She wondered what he was thinking.

She couldn't believe she did it.

It was only a few days after the incident in Roy's house, and now she already held the small set of pills in her hand. The impromptu visit to the doctor had passed by in a blur, and she only remembered the embarrassment she had to endure when lying about wanting to 'feel closer to her boyfriend' with a slight wince.

As if taking the pill would make her feel closer to Derrick.

The doctor had given instructions on when to take the first one, and so she concluded she had to wait a few days for the first day of her period to come.

Fucking hell, she was trembling. Whether from excitement at Roy's potential reaction – the surprise, the pleased smirk – or apprehensiveness about the potential outcome of all this, she wasn't sure. Perhaps it was a cocktail of everything, currently mixing up her stomach.

Even though she was dying to see Roy's reaction, she wasn't ready to tell him. She needed to make sure she could fully trust him first. For now though, it wouldn't hurt having twice the protection, right?

Ed hid the small set of pills in her pocket. She had to hide them well. Neither Derrick nor Roy could find out about them.

Just thinking about all this was making her feel extremely weird. This wasn't like her, she thought. A few months ago, when she'd come to Central, taking contraceptives had never even been a possible idea. Hell, having sex had never been a possible idea. And then she met Roy...

Shaking herself out of her thoughts, she entered her dorm room and sat on her bed.

Take one every day, at the same time.

The doctor's voice ran through her mind. She'd already decided to take one every day as soon as she woke up in the morning.

Falling back on the bed, she groaned.

What the hell was she doing?

This had the potential to turn into a disaster. All the what-ifs were already crossing her mind and, as always, they were unpleasant.

What if Roy had lied about sleeping with others and eventually gave her some disease?

What would she do then?

Tell her mum? Tell Derrick? Tell no-one?

What if Derrick found the pills?

She rubbed her face with her hands, applying pressure on her eyelids as though that would eliminate the mental images.

Maybe she was she wasn't.

She had to wait to find out, she supposed.

Roy was immensely grateful for the coffee Maes brought him before they began the conversation.

Roy knew Maes didn't approve, and, from the forceful way he'd spoken to him during Krayon's lecture a few days ago, he'd known he'd be hunted down eventually for a reprimand.

Edeline was going to be the topic of conversation. That had been established from the moment Maes had hurried him in his dorm room and sat down on his bed, his eyes glaring daggers at Roy.

Thank the heavens for the coffee in his hand.

"Roy."

Roy nodded at him, choosing to sit on his desk chair instead of next to him on the bed. He sipped his coffee urgently.

"I can't believe you."

Roy shrugged. Maes' eyes narrowed.

"So, are you going to tell me exactly what's going on with you two?"

Maes in his interrogation mood always managed to make Roy uncomfortable. Especially when he was the one being interrogated.

The urge to toy with something in his hands made him focus on twirling his coffee around its plastic container. For a moment they both stared at the cup, the brown liquid moving in circles, as Roy gathered his thoughts.

"I'm not sure," he finally said, which earned him another glare.

But it was the truth, as loath as he was to admit it.

Roy always liked being in control. He liked knowing exactly what he was getting into, he liked knowing all the details about everything and everyone he was interacting with, so he would always have an advantage. He hated being out of the loop for anything.

Yet with Edeline he was walking through a dark maze, with no map and no torch. He was in there blind, completely, and he hadn't yet addressed the situation. Out of fear, he now shamefully realised, he'd rather keep their relationship confusing than attempt to clear it up with the risk of it all blowing up in his face.

Maes rolled his eyes, clearly not believing him. And it was logical to Roy; Maes knew him well, and there was no way Roy would 'not be sure' about something.

But here they were.

"Come on, Roy," Maes coaxed. "You're sleeping with Ed or not?"

Not that was a question he most definitely knew the answer to.

"Yes, I am," he answered flatly. He betrayed no emotions, and that was the moment Maes knew getting answers out of him would be like pulling teeth.

He stared at him for a silent moment, those bright green eyes of his unwavering as he tried to figure his best friend out.

"She's cheating on her boyfriend." He paused as though letting that sink in, but it had sunk in long ago. "How can you sleep with a clear conscience knowing that?"

"It probably helps that I hate the guy," Roy admitted truthfully. If Derrick had honestly been more likable, things might've been completely different between him and Ed.

"He's a good kid, Roy. He doesn't deserve this."

Now, Roy scowled, his annoyance sparking. "Aren't you supposed to be on my side?"

"I'm not sure I want to pick sides in this."

He had a point; this didn't concern him. He had no reason to get involved. But wasn't he already, now that he decided to corner Roy about the issue? If he'd truly wanted no involvement, he should've acted like nothing happened.

But that wasn't Maes' character, and they both knew that.

Roy's lips twitched into a smirk, which Maes wiped away with a glare.

"Is this your way of proving you're the better guy to Derrick? Cause if so I'm really disappointed in you."

Taking a large sip of his coffee, Roy returned the glare. "No, it's not." It kind of had been, in the beginning, but now it wasn't.

Satisfied, Maes relaxed a little, uncrossing his arms. "How long has this been going on?"

Roy answered immediately. "A little over a month."

"Holy shit, Roy." His eyes widened. "Are you serious? You've been sleeping with Ed for a month?" Then, he paused, as though something occurred to him. "Do you sleep with others as well? Does she know that?"

It irritated Roy that both Maes and Ed had thought the same thing. "No. And if I was, I would've told her."

Now Maes was looking at him unsurely, a little worried. "So you're basically in a relationship with Edeline...?"

"No."

It came out before he could help it, and the momentary regret he felt must've shown on his face, for Maes raised his eyebrows.

"You really don't know what's going on, do you...?" He shook his head in disbelief.

Roy was getting antsy. Maes had this thing where he always managed to point out every flaw Roy wanted concealed. If Roy hated anything more than being out of the loop, it would be having it being rubbed in his face.

He opted for silence, lest he say something he regretted again.

Maes sighed. "Roy, how can you continue this when she loves her boyfriend?"

"She doesn't."

Damn it, Roy should really tighten his control over his mouth.

Maes was back to looking surprised. "How do yo–"

"She told me. She's confused, unsatisfied, and pressured in that relationship. I've told her to get rid of him but she can't. Some shit about upsetting her family."

Maes was beyond surprised by this point. Shocked would be a more accurate description. "I never would've thought..."

"Yeah, it's so fucking annoying when he hurts her and yet she always puts him first. Makes me want to tear his balls off. If he has any."

His friend's bright eyes were studying him again. It always amazed Roy how Maes picked up on everything; tone of voice, body language, choice of words. He'd honestly be a fantastic Investigations officer.

"So you have feelings for her?"

The question came out of nowhere, shocking Roy so much that for a few solid seconds he just stared at Maes.

Did the crush count as feelings? It probably did but...

So confusing.

He frowned, staring at the condensation on his plastic coffee cup. "I guess," he mumbled.

"Does she have feelings for you? More than the obvious physical attraction, I mean."

Roy winced. Goddamn, he hated not knowing stuff. "I don't know."

"Well, find out! Come on, Roy!"

Roy's frown deepened in confusion. He rubbed his forehead absently. "What do you mean find out? I can't just go and ask her!"

Maes rolled his eyes in utter exasperation. It made Roy feel stupid, as though he wasn't seeing something so very obvious.

"Look at how she acts around you, idiot."

"She just swears at me."

Maes' loud laugh filled the room, and it made Roy's lips twitch upwards as well.

"How does she look at you?"

"With hate."

Maes smirked. "Not all the time, obviously." He wriggled his eyebrows, and immediately Roy had a flashback to one of their less innocent moments. Yes, she didn't look at him with hate when her eyes darkened with lust, or that adorable hesitation she most likely unwittingly displayed sometimes.

He made himself forget it, before he got aroused in front of Maes. He'd never live it down.

The conversation went on for ages. Maes had managed to coax Roy into telling him almost everything. The situations that frustrated him most came out easier, while questions about the feelings department were a bit harder to make sense of.

Yet Roy, for the first time, hadn't told Maes everything. He hadn't mentioned Ed's automail and scars at all. Even thinking about telling Maes felt as though he was betraying her. Just remembering what they'd had to go through for her to show him...It had been hard for her; that was obvious.

The discussion only ended when Maes' roommate came in, completely wasted, and demanded they shut up as he fell into a deep sleep. It was getting late, and Maes decided to spare Roy.

He left the room feeling a bit relieved; he'd basically just dumped all his frustrations and feelings onto Maes.

Though he'd also left with a question. Was Ed using him completely as a distraction, or was there something else there? He was ready to study her like Maes had told him, and try to figure out 'how she looked at him' and shit. She'd always been an open book.

Did he want her to have feelings, though? It would certainly complicate things.

Goddamn it, why did he always have to be so unsure about her?

Her eyes cracked open when she heard a soft noise. It was followed by another, and Ed registered someone was knocking on her door.

Goddamn it, what now?

"Yeah?" she slurred, turning on her side. She hadn't even realised she'd fallen asleep. As she turned, the pills fell out of her pocket, and she quickly threw them in her bedside table drawer.

A quick glance at the clock told her it was a few minutes past eight. The sun had only just gone down. There's no way she would be able to fall asleep at a reasonable hour tonight. But then again she was so tired...

"Ed?"

At Roy's tentative voice, she sat up, frowning. "Roy?"

He was silent for a moment. "Do you want to go out for a walk?"

A/N Sorry I'm a couple days late for posting this one but exams have me feeling horrible and very anxious, basically. Exams suck so much :(

I hoped you liked this chapter. I would love to know what you think will happen with Ed and Roy and Derrick. Nd just so you know, this fic will only have like 20 chapters so I guess you could say the end is coming ;)