Disclaimer: If I owned Ouran, let's just say the things Hikaru and Kaoru would do...? Yeah, Ouran would have its rating boosted.
"You can be…the sexy maid."
"Why do I have to be the sexy maid? Maybe I want to be a sexy butler. Or better yet, a sexy policeman."
"Policemen have ugly uniforms and if you were a maid, you'd wear a short little skirt and I could see your ass better. Easier access and everything."
"Policemen have handcuffs."
"Maids have feather dusters."
"…Do you want a feather duster up your ass?"
"…No. Okay, um…how about…a sexy teacher?"
"Teacher and student is overdone. You know what isn't? A cashier and a bagboy."
"What the fuck is a bag boy? And I don't want to pretend to be either of those things. They aren't sexy."
"I don't know. Haruhi said they bag your things. And besides, it's us. We could make them sexy."
"True, but still. If Haruhi knows about something we don't, then we probably don't want to do it. Too commoner-like."
"She showed us commoner coffee."
"…Commoner coffee doesn't count. Hey, wait! I got it! A wedding planner and his customer."
"What?"
"Okay, so. I'm the sexy wedding planner who seduces the just as sexy groom to be."
"Hey, what about the wife?"
"Who cares about the wife?! You're going to have me, the sexy wedding planner!"
"If I wanted to marry her, then clearly I care about her. Why would I throw that away just to have sex with my wedding planner? Sounds kind of cheap and not something I'd do."
"You wouldn't marry a woman, first of all. Second of all, it's a fucking roleplay scenario. It isn't real so who cares."
"I do. I need to get into my character."
"For a fuck?!"
"I need to make this realistic. What's my motivation to leave my wife, who you know has to be hot and I proposed to, for some wedding planner?"
"To fuck."
"…Worst reason to ruin a marriage ever. Wow."
"That's it. I give up. Come here."
"Hey, I have yet to give my consent--oh, never mind. You have it."
Notes: I like dialogue fics, what can I say? xD I want to apologize for being so slow on updating and replying to reviews. Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing and I love every single one of you! Honestly, your reviews are one of the few things that make me smile. :) I'll try harder to update.