AN: Trigger warning for mentions of a canon sexual assault.
That Monday, Jane materialized by Madison's locker while she was collecting her stuff to go home after school. Madison didn't even have a chance to greet her before she launched into what she came for.
"So I know that you are probably really busy and all, but I would really love to have a girl's night out on Thursday with you, Kitty, and anyone else you want to bring. They obviously don't have to be in Glee. We haven't been there for you nearly as much as we should have been and Kitty and I really want to hang out with just us girls." Madison blinked in surprise at her brother's girlfriend.
"I would love to hang out with you guys! If we are opening this up to anyone else, can we invite my friend Vivian? She's pretty cool. I can't think of anyone else though. All the cheerleaders have mostly decided that I don't exist anymore and I don't really have any other friends outside of Glee." Jane grinned at her.
"Great! Do you want to have a good old fashioned girls' night in or a girls' night on the town? I'm fine with either and I know Kitty is too."
"Um, why don't we do a night in, since it is a school night?"
"Sounds good!" Exclaimed a startlingly peppy Jane. It was almost like the two girls had switched personalities, with Madison now the more reserved one and Jane the more upbeat, enthusiastic one. Madison stared as the other girl bounced away before turning back to her locker. She was interrupted again by her brother, who came by with his stuff to walk to the car with her.
"I know the rumor mill has been cranking overtime today. How are you holding up?" Her twin asked her.
"I'm hanging in there. People usually just look at me critically, they don't actually say anything to my face really. I did hear someone whisper something about me being 'totally fuckable' though."
"That's not that unusual though, right? People say that all the time."
"Yeah, but it's usually just football players and they usually just whisper it or whistle. Today it was someone wayyy lower on the social scale and he made no attempt to hide what he was saying."
"Really? Who?"
"The president of the Science Club. Not exactly the most popular group, hmm?"
"So that means that your popularity is taking a huge hit from leaving Cheerios and being suspected pregnant then, right?" She nodded. "We did anticipate this." He pointed out. "We knew that being a Cheerio was a huge protection factor in the jokes and commentary. And you have to admit, you always look very… attractive. Anyone with eyes can see that." Mason waggled his eyebrows at Madison and she laughed.
"Maybe. But I would appreciate being able to exist without my body being commented on all the time. And it's only going to get worse, isn't it? The more I start to show, the more people are going to think they have a right to comment on my appearance or proposition me?" Mason nodded grimly.
"People are already calling you a whore and talking about how they'd like to 'hit that.' When it's actually confirmed that you are pregnant, they are going to think they can take advantage of you." Madison nodded, then linked her arm with Mason's and they started towards the car.
"So we'll deal with it."
"And we are absolutely not letting you anywhere without someone with you. I don't think anyone would assault you, but Sue made this school pretty aggressive. We should prepare in case someone tries to take advantage of the pregnant girl by force, rather than coercion." Mason said worriedly. Madison squeezed his hand before getting into the car.
"We can handle this." The girl promised her twin. "All of us." He smiled back at her and agreed, hoping that she was right and they wouldn't crack under the pressure of the politics of McKinley High.
Thursday seemed to drag on forever, probably because Madison was so excited to hang out with the girls. She hadn't had a day devoted to just hanging out and talking since she had found out she was pregnant, since when Mason ignored her the other cheerleaders ignored both of them. And even when she had been included in Cheerio hangouts she still often felt left out, since they would often make snide remarks about her and her brother being "Creepy Incest Twins." She knew that even if Kitty had participated in that in the past, she wasn't going to do it tonight. Jane had even checked to make sure that Kitty was going to be on her best behavior. Admittedly, Madison doubted that Kitty would refrain entirely from snarky comments, but she was just happy that she would try. They had decided to hang out at Jane's house, since her parents both worked late and she had no siblings. Mason had been kind of surprised when she had told him that it wouldn't take place at their house, but had shrugged and left it alone.
In Jane's room, which was even bigger than Madison's, they picked a movie to watch. There was an argument of epic proportions before they finally settled on Legally Blonde, which satisfied everything, even the demands for a musical. It was feminist enough for all the girls, as well as chick flick-y enough to satisfy the girl's night requirements. Plus it had amazing songs that were easy to sing along to.
After watching the movie, and consuming way more junk food than was good for them, they settled down for a good old fashioned gossip session. Kitty, of course, provided most of it since she knew everything about everyone it sometimes seemed. There were a lot of breakups recently, and even some cheating scandals. One couple had had a huge blowout fight outside of the lunchroom, but was found making out after school. The girls quickly exhausted the interesting stories before turning their attention to those in Glee. Jane of course had no updates on her love life, since she was still quite happily dating Mason, though she did admit that they had almost broken up during the month when he had cut off his sister because she thought he was behaving very badly. She was certainly glad now that she had stuck with him, but she conceded that it had been a very rough patch. The conversation then turned to Kitty, who wasn't dating anyone.
"Come on Kitty," wheedled Madison, "there must be someone you like!" Kitty shrugged.
"I'm not really completely over Artie I think." Admitted the blonde. "And I think that until I actually come to terms with that, I'm not going to actually get any crush more substantial than thinking a guy is cute. And that's okay. I need time to myself anyway. I need to figure out where I stand and stop tying my worth to someone else." The other girls made sounds of agreement. Vivian in particular was very enthusiastic about agreeing, so they turned to her next.
"We don't know anything about you!" Exclaimed Jane. "Now you have to tell us something about yourself, that's what girls' nights are all about!"
"Um, okay." Answered Vivian. "I guess I can come up with something." She thought for a moment. "Well, I can't think of any particular crushes I've had. Actually, I can't remember ever having any crushes." She shrugged. "I never thought much about that kind of stuff. I've always been under a lot of pressure to do well in school so I don't get much time to devote to anything else. The only reason I was able to come tonight was because I did all my homework for tomorrow well in advance." The girls all looked kind of surprised at the idea of not being able to do anything because of schoolwork. "It is what it is though, and because of how much I've focused on school I think I have a good chance of being Valedictorian and going to whatever school I want. My mom just wants me out of here because she thinks it's stifling and she's afraid that I'll end up married by 24 and popping out babies and keeping house for some guy for the rest of my life. And I don't want that either, so of course I work hard."
"Ohio isn't that bad!" Pointed out Madison. "I really like it here!"
"It's not a bad place," answered Vivian, "just not the kind of place I want to live forever. I want to see the world and work somewhere where there's more going on than just petty drama. I want to do something with my life. Something big!" Her voice got more lively as she continued. "I don't know what yet, and it isn't going to be acting or singing like you guys like, but maybe working in the UN or being a CEO. I don't know. Just something that makes a difference in the world." Kitty and Madison blinked at this, but Jane was nodding along enthusiastically.
"I know exactly what you mean! I want to be a lawyer because I want to help people, not because I want to get rich. It's so amazing when my mom comes home after she's won another of her public defender cases. She always works on a couple of those in addition to the bigshot cases she does. She does the bigshot cases because they pay the bills, but she does the public defenders one because she wants to fight the system. I want to do that too."
"I want to be a therapist." Added Kitty, her voice significantly quieter than normal. "I want to be able to help people who have been really hurt and don't know what to do or how to handle it." The other girls stared at her. They had absolutely not expected her to say anything like that.
"Any particular reason why you want to do that?" Asked Madison carefully. Kitty stayed quiet for a few minutes. Kitty pondered what to tell them. I've come this far. If I tell them I just want to help people they aren't going to believe me. And if I tell them it pays well they still aren't really going to believe me. I trust these girls though. And they have already given me plenty of ammunition to use against them if they tell anyone.
"I want to help people who have been hurt the way I have." Jane blinked at her.
"Hurt the way you have been…?" Her voice trailed off questioningly. Kitty took a deep breath. Then another. It seemed as though she'd never answer them and the room was dead silent and very tense.
"What I say does not leave this room. I need you to swear it. And if you break your word I will make your life a living hell."
"Does this include Mason?" Madison asked. "And Roderick?"
"Yes." Kitty nodded firmly. "I've only ever told one other person and that ended badly. I need a guarantee." The other girls agreed, and then pinky swore that they would never tell anyone. Kitty looked even more nervous afterwards, if it was possible.
"When I was younger, I was sleeping over at a friend's house. It was all going fine until" her voice cracked but she controlled it and charged on with her story "until my friend's older brother came into the room and literally into my sleeping bag. He told me to be quiet, that this was all fine and normal but I knew it wasn't. It felt so wrong. And I went home the next day and pretended that nothing was wrong for month." Her voice cracked again and she took a few deep breaths before continuing. "When I told them what happened, they went and talked to the other parents, who obviously denied it. My friend found out and then spread it around to everyone that I was lying about being assaulted by her brother. I transferred schools eventually, when the bullying got too much." The other girls were stunned at this revelation. Finally, Madison pulled Kitty into a tight hug.
"How old were you? And how old was he" Jane asked, her eyes sparking with anger.
"I was 12. I remember because I had gotten my period for the first time a few months before on my birthday and it was still so new to me and I had been worried about getting it at the sleepover. He was 4 years older and he always seemed so cool and we all had such a crush on him."
"How far did he go? It's okay if you don't want to answer that, I was just wondering exactly how sick this guy was." Vivian questioned, her calm voice barely masking the crackling anger underneath.
"He stopped short of actually going all the way, but he did touch me and made me touch him. He kept telling me that it was meant to feel good and that I must be broken because I didn't feel that way." Kitty clung to Madison tighter and buried her head in her shoulder while the younger girl rocked her back and forth and made calming noises.
"Did he ever get punished?" Jane's fury was tangible at this point. Kitty shook her head, still safely ensconced in Madison's shoulder. Jane was going on and on about how this wasn't right and that he really needed to be punished for his actions until Madison raised a placating hand.
"I know that you want to serve justice, but our first priority is her, not him. And talking like that isn't helping her."
"Besides," put in Vivian, "we definitely wouldn't be able to get any official sanction. Plus, if Kitty is a senior, then he'd have to be in college, right? It would be pretty hard to actually do anything about it now other than help her." Jane nodded, but had a rather devious look in her eyes that seemed to promise trouble for anyone who tried to interfere.
The silence was heavy in the room for a few minutes before Jane turned to Madison, who was still holding Kitty.
"So we've examined everyone's love life but yours! What are the details? Spill!"
"I'm not exactly sure what details you want," she replied with a laugh, "I'm pregnant so there's that." The other girls, including Kitty who had emerged from the cocoon of Madison's arms when Jane had started talking guys again, rolled their eyes at that.
"Well obviously you and Roderick have been talking. Have you decided to date him yet?" Came Jane's quick response. Madison looked distinctly uncomfortable now.
"Well no. I think he'd be willing but I'm not sure I'm ready to jump into the dating game yet, even with him. I'm pretty emotional right now and I don't want him to be doing this because of the baby."
"Girl you know that's ridiculous, right? He doesn't do much outwardly, but he always came to the football games even before you got pregnant and only really paid attention to the cheerleaders. And his eyes were only ever trained on you." Jane shook her head bemused. "Occasionally they strayed to Kitty and Mason, as if acknowledging their existence, but believe me his crush was really obvious. I was always there with him to watch Mason and I saw everything." Jane grinned. "And you guys would be such a cute couple! He would absolutely treat you like a princess and I think your optimism would be a great counterweight to his perpetual pessimism!" Vivian and Kitty both agreed enthusiastically with Jane and Madison turned slightly red at everything she said.
"I just, I don't really feel that pull to date him. I feel like I want to focus on making sure the baby comes into the best situation possible and I'm not sure us dating is the best situation possible. Too many things can go horribly wrong." Kitty looked at her dubiously.
"Those sound like flimsy excuses. If you aren't interested in dating him because you aren't attracted to him, that's fine, just say it. If you are scared, that's understandable too! Just tell us the truth." Madison chewed on her lip before answering.
"Well, honestly I'm afraid that if we do date, it'll end really badly and I'll have to cut him out of my life and therefore out of his child's life. I don't want emotional issues we may have to make it harder for our child." Madison shrugged as she continued. "I mean, it was a one night stand. I don't really know if we are compatible and there isn't enough time between now and when the baby comes for us to really figure it out. I feel much safer and secure having him just as a friend with the idea that maybe, one day in the future, the stars will align and it'll be time to give dating a try. I'm just not ready yet."
"Better," said Kitty, "but still not quite right. Try one more time."
"My last relationship almost destroyed my relationship with Mason, which in turn has made me very commitment-shy. The most important guy in my life has to be my twin or it doesn't feel right. Me and Roderick is the closest I've come to a relationship since."
"There it is." Kitty smiled at her. "That's what I was looking for. A real answer. Wow I really could be a therapist!" The other girls laughed, then sobered when Kitty continued. "Thing is, Hot Rod is in your life to stay. Mason is going to just have to deal with it. You guys share something that's at least as important as a twin bond: a child."
"And Mason thinks you guys would be a really cute couple too!" Put in Jane enthusiastically.
"I know you guys really want this, but right now I need to make Junior here my first priority." Madison rested her hand over her stomach. "That means putting my love life on the back burner, possibly for years. And I'm okay with that."
Vivian's phone lit up suddenly and she glanced down.
"Crap!" Her voice was slightly panicky. "That was my mom, wondering where I am. I was supposed to be home an hour ago!" The girls realized suddenly how late it was and scrambled to get their stuff and get home. Madison stayed behind to help Jane clean up in companionable silence before she too left to get home.
AN: As a quick note, if you have experienced a sexual assault, please seek some kind of help, especially therapy. If you need it, please feel free to PM me. And remember, assault never the fault of the assaulted.
As another, unrelated note, I met Laura Dreyfuss who plays Madison on Saturday! She's actually the sweetest person and was very gracious about talking to me and taking a picture. Her new musical, Dear Even Hansen, was incredible and I highly, highly recommend it!