Title: If tomorrow Never Comes
Author: D Sollers
Subject: Brooke Davis had it all. She was beautiful, with great friends and a hot boyfriend. With the end of senior year approaching, Brooke finds herself facing tough decisions. But what happens when the very person she is running from, is the only one that can help her through?
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with OTH
Author's Notes: Second update for me in a row. Pretty good all things considered! And remember, I love reviews! The good, the bad and the ugly ones.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
"Attitude is the way you mentally look at the world around you.
It's how you view your environment and your future.
It is the focus you develop towards life itself."
-Unknown
The morning had come quickly for Brooke, who had already dressed and eaten breakfast before six thirty. She wasn't sure what was making her more nervous, the doctors appointment or the speech that Lucas had given her the night before. Rachel knocked on the bathroom door and peaked her head inside. "Ready bitch?" She asked with a grin.
Brooke nodded her head and gave herself one more look in the mirror. "Listen Rach, I just want you to know how happy I am that we're friends now." Brooke grabbed her purse off of the dresser and looked at her friend. "How do I look?" She couldn't help the queasiness that ran through her body as she spun around and she leaned against the bed for support.
"Are you sure you don't want me to call Lucas?" Rachel asked, grabbing a hold of her friends arm.
Brooke rolled her eyes. "Rachel I am fine okay? I just lost my balance. We have to get going if we're going to meet Haley before school."
Against her better judgment, the red head linked arms with Brooke and walked out of the room and towards her car. "I still can not believe that the principal won't let Haley be the valedictorian. She's been practicing this since she was old enough to talk!" Brooke tried her best to change the subject as Rachel pulled out of the driveway and towards the school.
"Well maybe he'll change his mind. Never say never, right?"
Brooke sighed as she glanced through the window. "I just wish I could do something. I mean I am class president that should count for something right? But when I talked to principal Turner he said that there was nothing he could do. That it wasn't his decision but he thought that the school board had made the right choice."
"Well we still have time to convince him," Rachel added hopefully.
Brooke turned to her friend and raised her eyebrow skeptically. "Since when are you on team Haley? I mean I get why I am riled up, because Haley is one of my best friends. But you hate her and the feeling is mutual."
"This has nothing to do with Haley," Rachel explained. "I don't have to like her to know it's not fair. If Haley hadn't been pregnant, she would have been the valedictorian. And it sucks that because she's knocked up she can't."
Brooke couldn't help the giggle that was forming on her lips. "Admit it Rach, you're starting to like tutor girl. That stone exterior you show everyone is starting to crumble! Haley James Scott has gotten you to crumble," Brooke laughed as they pulled into the school parking lot.
"She's not the one making me crumble okay Brooke?" Rachel said finally. As she parked the car, she turned to her friend and shook her head. "You don't get it, okay? I've never had friends, not boys and certainly not girls. You were the first person to ever actually like me, let alone keep my secrets. So if you see that there is something in that know it all tutor then I am sure as hell going to try and see it too. You're my best friend."
Brooke sat in the seat stunned as Rachel continued. "But if you tell anyone I said that, I swear I'll send you to the hospital myself."
"You love me," Brooke said with a laugh. She opened the car door and stepped outside, before turning around and facing Rachel again. "You love me!"
"Whore!"
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The beginning of school had been easy, she had gotten through four of her classes and was currently enjoying the silence of eating her lunch in peace. That was until Nathan slammed his book bag onto the table.
"What's that?"
Nathan caught Brooke off guard as she quickly closed her notebook. "Nothing," she mumbled as he reached for the book and she quickly pulled it away from his grasp. "It's nothing okay?"
"Then why won't you let me see it? What in the world are you hiding Brooke Davis?"
With a shrug of her shoulders, Brooke handed him the book in defeat. She watched as Nathan flipped through the pages and he looked up at her. "Your bucket list?" Nathan said as he rolled his eyes. "Please tell me that you aren't spending your time watching horrible Jack Nicholson movies."
"I loved that movie okay," Brooke corrected as she pulled the book back to her. "And besides, it's not a bucket list. It's just things that I want to do." She tilted her head to the side and tried to explain. "Peyton and I use to have this list," Brooke explained. "It was simple, just ten things we wanted to accomplish before going to college. But now that she's not around..."
Nathan nodded his head.
"You're making your own. But Brooke, that is way more than ten things on that list."
Brooke blushed as she shut the book. "It's just with the cancer and everything, there are just so many things I want to do." Through the years of knowing Nathan, the two had never been close. He had come into her life in junior high, where both she and Peyton thought of him as just another cute boy. But then the blonde began to date him in high school and their lives had been intertwined ever since.
She knew that she could count on her hand the number of times they'd had an important conversation. But still as he stared across the table at her with worry, she couldn't help but feel close to him. "I understand Brooke," Nathan said with a sad smile. "Sooner or later Brooke, you're going to need to let someone in. And if you don't think you can trust me and you don't want to stress Haley... Then talk to Lucas."
"It's not that simple Nate," Brooke sighed.
Nathan nodded his head. "It's hard to open your heart again, I know. I remember. But you're going to need him through this."
Suddenly, Brooke found herself smiling at the younger Scott brother. She couldn't pin point exactly when Nathan had matured but over the years, he had come a long way. Much like she had.
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"Mr. Turner, I have nothing else to say to you..." Haley said as he entered the tutoring center. Haley frowned at her principal before returning her attention to the paper in front of her.
The older man cleared his throat.
"Well I have something else to say to you Haley James."
"Scott. Haley James Scott."
The man nodded his head and sat down in the seat across from Haley. "It's come to my attention that perhaps we were too harsh on our decision." Haley looked up from her paper and shook her head, not understanding exactly what he was trying to tell her.
"I don't want to let my students believe that teenage pregnancy is acceptable. Because it's not Haley."
Haley glared at him. "Do you think that at thirteen or fourteen, I decided I wanted to be pregnant before college? Hell even married? Because I didn't plan this baby and I didn't plan on falling in love with Nathan and getting married. But guess what Principal Turner? I'm dealing with the consequences. Nathan and I both are struggling with this but we're not giving up. I'm still finishing high school and we're both still going to go to college."
"I know," the principal said quietly.
"Then what else do you want from me? I've been dreaming of this day for all of my life and because my personal life isn't like every other teenager in your school, you're taking it away from me."
He shook his head. "Like I said, we were wrong in our decision. You and Nathan are both proving that you can handle this responsibility and more importantly you are facing your future as a couple together. The students here in this school could learn a lot from you Haley, so I am hoping that you will accept my apology and represent your class. As valedictorian."
"Really?" Haley asked through the tears.
He nodded his head and laughed a bit.
"Really. Now will you tell your friend to stop harassing me?"
Haley looked down at the table and forced a laugh. "About that, Brooke is just trying to be a good friend..."
"Well I am sure she is but I was talking about Rachel."
Principal Turner stood up and made his way out of the room as Haley sat there stunned. She had always been so mean to Rachel, so why was the girl helping her out, she wondered to herself. Her phone rang and she glanced down at the caller ID. "Nate? Guess what!"
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Brooke played with the end of the hospital gown as the doctor began to read her chart. She couldn't help the nervousness that ran through her body and she quietly wished that Lucas could have been in the room with her. Here she was, barely eighteen years old and about to start the fight of her life.
By herself.
She knew it wasn't fair, mostly because Lucas was in the waiting room but it didn't stop the feeling that she was alone in this battle. The doctor cleared his throat before looking up at her. "I'm glad you decided to take the chemotherapy. Now I know you graduate next week but I am still insisting that we start soon. We'll start in two weeks."
"What's going to happen?"
The question came out in a faint whisper and she looked up at her doctor helplessly. "I mean, I know the stuff they show in the movies. I know that my hair will fall out and my skin will be pale and I know that it's really going to kick me in the ass but what else do I need to know?"
"Brooke there are a lot of symptoms that you can experience. Fatigue, nausea, weight loss... They're all the major ones. But you'll also be prone to bruises and you're body won't be able to fight off the regular colds and flus as you usually could. I have some pamphlets that I can give you..."
She nodded her head, his words still echoing in her ears.
"And my hair?"
The doctor cut her off with a wave of his hand. "Brooke you are lucky that we've found this earlier on. And with the chemotherapy we have a chance of beating the odds and you could pull through this. If along the way you lose your hair, then isn't that something you're willing to do?"
She knew she sounded awful but the thought of losing her hair scared her. Brooke had always hidden behind the long dark locks, letting people believe that she was just another pretty face. If that was taken away from her, what was left? They'd see the real her. The one that is just as scared and who's self esteem was just as low as anyone else.
"If you have any other questions, feel free to call me." He jotted down his phone number and handed her the card and she sighed down at it. "You can get dressed now and I will tell Mr. Scott that he can come in."
Brooke nodded her head sadly and waited until the doctor was out of the room. She quickly changed and there was a knock on the door. "You can come in," Brooke said as Lucas appeared in front of her.
"Ready to go?" Lucas said with a small smile.
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After dropping Brooke back off at Rachel's house, he knew he needed to clear his head before going home and facing his mom. It was an easy choice, the river court being the one place that allowed him to think in peace. As he drove towards it, he couldn't help but think about Brooke and how scared she had looked. He wondered just how long it had all gone unnoticed, by him and by everyone else.
"I wish that it was me."
His eyes searched hers for understanding but there was none. So, with a gentle voice she continued. "I know that's horrible and I know that its selfish. I watched you rescue Peyton and you told me you rescued Dan..." Her voice trailed off so it was just above a whisper.
"And sometimes I wish you could just rescue me."
He shook his head and sighed down at her. "From what?" He questioned, tracing circles around her wrist with his fingers.
Brooke shrugged her shoulders against the weight of his body and wished for nothing more than to stay like this forever. That the school shooting and his uncle's death could be erased so that they could lay in each others arms and be happy once again.
"From all of it," she whispered.
He nodded his head. "Okay then, I will." Brooke couldn't help but doubt the words but Lucas seemed sure of himself. He smiled slightly. "If you promise to rescue me back."
Brooke smiled.
"I promise."
Lucas slammed his car door shut and made his way towards the blacktop, cursing at himself for being that stupid. How had things changed so drastically in only a matter of months?
Had he been so blind with grief that he hadn't noticed her heart felt pleas?
Lucas wondered to himself if she had known all along, that perhaps that was the reason that she had broken up with him in the first place. "No, she would have told me..." Lucas said, although unsure.
"Would have told you what?" Nathan asked as he approached his older brother.
Lucas didn't look up as he began to speak. "How long do you think Brooke's known about all of this?" He questioned, one he was sure that Nathan would know the answer to. "She didn't break up with me because of this. Did she?"
Nathan shook his head and couldn't help the laugh that formed on his lips. "You really don't get it, do you Luke?" Nathan asked, suddenly angered at Lucas' blindness. "Do you really want to know why she broke up with you?"
Lucas' face said it all as Nathan continued. "It had nothing to do with whether or not she loved you, hell it had nothing to do with leukemia. The truth is simple, Peyton confessed that she was still in love with you and Brooke didn't have the energy to compete."
"No," Lucas said as he shook his head. "Peyton would never have done that."
Nathan shrugged his shoulders as he bounced the ball against the court. "Whatever man, think what you want but deep down, you know it's true." He threw the ball into the hoop and turned to face Lucas. "What's going on in that head of yours?"
"How could I have been so stupid..."
Lucas walked towards the picnic table and sat down, still trying to sort through all of his thoughts. Could Peyton have really done that to Brooke after everything they had put her through the year before? His mind replayed all of the decisions he had made sense Brooke broke up with him and he groaned.
"Oh fuck, what in the hell have I done..."
Nathan laughed at his older brother's revelation before tossing the ball once again into the hoop. "You can't change the past, so you royally screwed up your relationship with Brooke but maybe now is your chance to make it up to her."
"How do I do that?" Lucas questioned.
"For starters stop kissing her best friend."
Lucas began to open his mouth and then shrugged his shoulders. "I fucked up man," he admitted quietly. Nathan wasn't following so Lucas continued. "I kissed Peyton again. After we broke up, after I found out about Brooke's leukemia..."
"Wow, you really are a fuck up."
It was supposed to be funny but as Nathan looked at his older brother, he knew that the boy was in serious pain.
"Don't stress about the past Lucas, you've got to live in the present. To remind Brooke that her future is worth fighting for. With or without you."
TBC...