Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-grins-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!
5) Each chapter will be a different question.
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

Chapter Fourteen: Arguments

"We're eatin' out, yo!" Reno said, grinning happily. "That way, ya don't have ta cook, an' I ain't gotta feel guilty!"

"Guilty? Why would you feel guilty?" Cloud asked, looking at the redhead in confusion. In return, the Turk grinned meekly at him, hoping to avoid answering. "Come on, Reno. You can tell me."

"Ugh," he sighed, knowing that the blonde was not going to give up the topic until he got an answer. "Fine. Well, yer the guest, an' all ya've been doin' is cookin' fer me, even though ya didn't have ta." Cloud smiled and instantly Reno was on alert. "What? ...S-stop smilin' Cloudy-Pie. 'S creepin' me out. ...Quit it! C'mon, yo! Ya ain't supposed to smile! Yer Emo-Cloudy! Ya don't smile!" His smile just grew and the turk began to panic. "Frown already, dammit! What're ya, havin' a stroke or somethin'?!"

"No," the blonde replied, just smiling more, watching as Reno squirmed under his gaze. He reached forward and pulled him into a crushing hug. "You're so cute, Reno."

"C-cant...br-bre-breathe!"

"Sorry!" Cloud said, letting go of the thinner man. "But, Reno, I cook because I want to, not because I have to."

"But ya cook so damn much, Cloudy!"

"No, you just eat too little."

"Do not!"

"Explain how skinny you are, then. And why your refrigerator was so empty."

"I get a lotta exercise on the job. An' I haven't gotten ta shoppin' yet. Why? Ya act like I'm starvin' or somethin'."

"Practically!"

"Was not, Chocobo-Head!"

"I stand by what I said, and if we even go out to eat, I'm paying."

"Woah, the fuck's that mean?"

"Which part?"

"The 'even' part! ...An' the payin' part." Reno pouted at the blonde, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked at the blonde.

"I am paying, Reno."

"...Wait a damn minute...the hell're we arguin' 'bout this fer?"

"...I'm not too sure."

Reno started to laugh, which made Cloud smile again.

"We're messed up, yo!"

"Speak for yourself, Reno!" Cloud said, smirking at the redhead.

"Ha! Yeah right, Wifey-Strifey! Yer as messed up as they come!"

"I am not!"

"Ya loved Sephiroth! SEPHIROTH!!"

"I did not! I admired him, but I didn't love him!"

"Suuuuuuure ya didn't."

"I didn't!"

"Well, ya loved...what's her name... In the pink? Flowers with her?"

"Aeris."

"Yeah, her!"

"I didn't love her, either!"

"Dude, ya pinned fer her fer like...ferever!"

"I did not! Even if I did, that just means that I fell in love with people. it doesn't make me 'messed up'!"

"They're dead! An' ya still love 'em! Plus, ya seem ta fall fer that which ya can't have, Cloudy."

"No I don't!"

"Seph? Dude with spiky black hair? Teefs? Aeris? All of 'em ya couldn't have, three are dead, an' ya still love 'em, even though ya can't be with 'em."

"...Reno..." Cloud growled, looking irritated at the redhead.

"...I have the feelin' that I'm 'bout ta get hit...or yelled at... Yeah?"

"No." The blonde looked plainly at the Turk, keeping eye contact. "Listen carefully, Reno. ...Are you listening?"

"Yeah, Cloudy, I ain't dumb. ...I ain't!"

"Good. And I didn't say that you were. ...Now, I don't love any of them. I only love one person right now."

"'S Yuffs, right?" Reno asked grinning.

"I take that back. You ARE dumb!"

"Hey!"

"Reno, who's cock did I suck earlier?"

"That depends."

"On what?!"

"How long were ya awake fer I woke up?"

"...I'll make this easy word problem even easier for you. Listen to me: I only sucked one cock in my entire life. ...Get it?"

"Then that means..."

"YES! Do you understand now?!"

"But then ya mean that..."

"Do I have to come out and say it?"

"It might help, yo."

"Argh! Fine. I love you, Reno, you damn moron."

"Ya mean you..."

"Yes."

"An' ta me..."

"Yes."

"Then ya're..."

"Do you want me to draw it out for you?!"

"I think I get it, yo."

"FINALLY! Just took you a few days!"

"Well, 'scuse me fer not understandin' yer chocobo ways!"

"Don't make me hurt you, Reno."

"'S that a challege? Bring it, Choco-Boy!"

Cloud grinned as he and Reno both took offensive stances. "Did you already forget who kicked your Turk ass over the past years?"

"Sheer dumb luck!"

"For years?!"

"...I can take ya!"

"Bring it, Red!"

"Aww, what happened ta 'Reno-Cakes'?" the Turk said as he and the blonde circled each other in the small kitchen. The swordsman blushed while Reno took a quick jab at his side, making Cloud flinch away. "What's wrong, are ya ticklish?"

"No!"

"I think ya are, yo!"

"Oh yeah? What about you?"

"Like I'd just tell ya? Get real, Cloudy-Puss!"

"Reno, soon you'll find yourself face down on your floor with me on top."

"Yeah, if I trip!"

"You're so going down!"

"Lotta talk, but I see no walkin', Blondie!"

"I'm going to love pinning you to the ground!"

Reno grinned. "Yeah, ya can hold onto that thought when ya find yerself pressed into my floor!"

"That it! It's on, now!"

"Like I said earlier: bring it, yo!" Reno said, grinning cockily right before Cloud lunged at him.

End of Chapter Fourteen

Review for the next chapter. I'm beginning' (have like 2!) ta run outta questions. So, I'm thinkin' that it'll just be Reno messin' with Cloud fer most of the time. Either that or I end it. So, whatchya'll think? End or drag ass as long as...well I dunno. Would'ave updated yesterday, but I passed out, so, sorry?

Bekas Strife: -Laughs-Yup, 's what I do! -Hums "Faggot"-Such a good song. Aww, but then ya'd just have brick powder an' an annoyed Reno!

JeanneAndHerAlters: Ooohhh, Chibi Vince and Rufus? ...I can make that work! -Grabs sweets and starts to work-Mmm, sugar make the worl go 'round...'specially the soul-consumin' kind! ...If only I had a soul... -Snickers-.

Mahoko: -Grins-The ass? I dunno. Well, I guess he had ta clean out the fridge, 's that count?

carefreecat: It will!

CupCake-SweetTreats: -Grabs bucket-MINE!!

D3OPH3ST: It is! -Grins-Yeah, I can't do that either...turns out kinda odd! New name?

kacame: Here ya go!

tala-fangirl: Here ya go, sweetie.

Vaishin: -Laughs hysterically-.

NicotineGum: -Grins widely-Yeah, this's unlike the smut-filled CO. Simple: NO ONE can!

EvilRaccoon: -Laughs-He will! ...An' we'll watch...

AstroStarr42: -Laughs-I can see that happenin'!

-VeNgEfUl PoEt-: Umm, pass! That makes me kinda weirded out.

yumie-darkness123: -Twitches-Bake away!

Toons: -Laughs-Nope, didn't even think of that!

Deinde: -Pouts-I want a few dozen...multiply that by a million!

Kaisha Shiori: -Twitches-God, I love candy, ya'd think I'd be diabetic by now! No need ta apologize, 's all good!