Disclaimer: Even after taking this pretty long break, I still own nothing.
Author's Note: Hi there everyone! Remember me? Remember this story? Yeah I know, it's been awhile. A whole month actually. I know, I know Holy Cow! I am sooo sooo soo sorry times like a thousand. I don't have any good excuse, except that life really got in the way, and I really started to play favorites to my fics which was something I really didn't want to do. But I got blocked by this one again and that's why I worked mostly on "Two Weeks" But now I'm back and ready to update more often! I can't tell you how much it means that you guys were still alerts and favoriting this story. I felt a tug if guilt each time I saw that. But here it is now at last a month later, a new chapter of "Meet the Hydes" I really hope you guys like it. And please review, to let me know you guys are still reading. I am extremely sorry about the wait I will try my very very best to make sure that doesn't happen again! Well enough chit chat you've waited long enough so Enjoy!
Steven Hyde sat silently on the arm of his adoptive father's armchair. He'd been watching and listening to talk about babies for what felt like a month, but was probably only a few minutes. The whole topic was boring and really outrageous so he stayed out of it completely.
Really, him and Jackie having a kid together? That was laugh. Although sure they'd make some awesome looking kids, and if they inherited their parents right characteristics they could be pretty awesome all around…but still him and Jackie and a baby? No way.
"When Jackie first told us she was pregnant we were all really happy and really surprised. We couldn't believe it!" Donna said to Annie and then turned to Hyde, "Right Hyde?"
"You can say that again." He mumbled back in response.
Annie's ears perked up as she heard the kind of tone Hyde had used to answer Donna's question. It wasn't a very happy tone. Maybe he wasn't happy about the baby. Maybe it wasn't his baby! Oo and he sounded surprised which meant this baby was an unplanned baby!
"Steven, you don't seem too enthusiastic." Annie commented, trying to speak sweetly. The blonde woman didn't wait for an answer and instead gasped in surprise, "Is it not your baby?"
"Of course it's his baby!" Jackie argued, not realizing how angry it made her when her cousin had accused her of carrying another man's 'baby.'
Annie tilted her head slightly as she looked over at her cousin, "Jackie dear, I believe I was talking to Steven."
Jackie opened her mouth to argue, but was surprised when she felt Hyde touch her shoulder with his hand.
"I got this one." Hyde said softly to Jackie before turning back to Annie, "No the kid's mine. No need to worry 'bout that, Annie. I'm just still pretty surprised about the whole thing. You know, the baby, being parents, changing diapers."
"Uh huh." Annie nodded, "So what you're saying is this baby was a surprise? A unplanned baby? A mistake?"
Donna sat in the background, observing the scene and she covered her mouth to keep her from laughing when she saw Hyde stare blankly at the smirking blonde woman. This Annie was good.
"No, no, no." Jackie jumped in right away, "That's not what Steven meant at all, right honey?"
Hyde didn't answer. He couldn't answer. He hadn't even heard the question. He was too lost in his thoughts trying to figure out just how he'd lost the ball to Annie. Knowing it would only do more harm waiting for Hyde to answer, Jackie continued to speak.
"The baby was a surprise, but he or she wasn't unplanned. You see just one night we were talking about starting our family, we both decided we really could wait to have kids. And then by the end of the week I was pregnant!"
Annie raised her eyebrows slightly, "Oh?"
"Yup." Jackie smiled back.
Hyde, having snapped back into reality, smirked a smug smirk, "My boys are fast swimmers."
Sensing that the couple was trying to make a hint at how she and Phil still had not children, Annie quickly came up with a comeback.
"Well so are Phil's!" she answered almost too quickly, "In fact we could have had five children already, but we decided we were going to wait a few years and just spend some time with just the two of us. Though I do think we could be starting our own family a lot sooner than we planned."
"Oh honey really?" Phil asked excitedly, startling his wife.
She thought he was lost in the baby conversation with Eric. That was the only reason she'd said those words with him still in the room.
"Um, we'll…we'll talk about it later." Annie replied patting her husbands hand.
"Oh ok." Phil nodded with a smile and then turned his attention back to his new best friend, "You know I can't wait to have kids, Annie was really the one who wanted to wait. I've wanted to be a dad ever since I was little…I used to pretend I was a dad with my dolls."
Eric smiled and nodded on the outside, but inside he was hoping these dolls of Phil's' were like hi s and were really action figures. Otherwise…well this guy was getting just too weird.
"And can't you just imagine Annie pregnant with a big round tummy?" Phil continued to ramble, "Hey honey, you think we'll have those five kids we were supposed to have already? Oo what if we have them at the same time."
Annie's eyes almost bulged out of her head, she really didn't want to talk about her being fat and pregnant and having kids.
"We'll talk about it later." Annie sternly and almost angrily told her husband, after seeing Phil's and the other slightly frighten expressions in the room she changed her tone completely, "Honey."
While everyone else took a few more minutes to recover from the outburst, Phil simply shrugged his shoulders and grinned.
"Ok," he said happily to his wife and then turned over to Jackie and Hyde, "Hey you guys, I've been thinking of some names you can use for the baby."
Jackie stared back at her cousin-in-law. He was really a nice guy, who she did like a lot better than her cousin, but he was kinda odd…okay really odd. And there was no way she was letting him name her baby, real or not.
"Phil, that's sweet but…" she began to say only to get interrupted by the same man she was talking to.
"Ok I'm thinking for a boy, Phil." Phil said proudly, "And for a girl, Phyllis."
"Phyllis?" Donna asked, sounding abit puzzled.
"Yeah, like from The Mary Tyler Moore Show." Phil replied with a smile and a nod, "But only cause it sounds like Phil. My favorite character was Rhoda. She was a looker."
"Yeah, I don't know." Eric said scrunching up his face abit, "Rhoda always seemed like someone I could be related to, never really found her attractive. Now Mary, Mary was hot."
Eric's smile dropped when he saw the two confused expressions on Annie and Phil's face, the angry glares coming from Jackie and Hyde, and his girlfriend trying to hide her smile with her hand. He didn't know what he'd said that was wrong until he remembered his role in Jackie's little play. The gay brother-in-law.
"Uh, yeah Mary was hot." Eric nodded, still trying to figure out how to cover up this little spill, "Those outfits she wore were gorgeous. And those shoes…I'd pay good money to live in her closet!"
"Yeah, your pretty use to living in closest by now huh?" Hyde asked jokingly.
Before Eric could make any comment, like he'd planned to, Annie spoke up. She wanted to change the subject back to more important matters. Talking about Mary Tyler Moore and closets was not going to help her prove that this was all an act.
"You know Jackie," she began, "All this talk about the baby has really got me so excited, and Phil and I are just going to have to come back for a visit after it's born."
Jackie smiled a large, plastic smile, "Well that would be just wonderful, Annie."
"I know." Annie replied smugly with a smile, "Now when is the little one due?"
"October"
"July"
"January"
"April."
For different voice had answered all at the same time. It confused Phil and made Annie suspicious. The four others exchanged looks, deciding which one of them should try to explain. However before they could explain, a new voice was heard from the stair way.
"Hello everyone!" The voice greeted and the group turned to where Red's den was and saw a figure walk out with open arms, "It is I, Fez."
While her husband grinned and waved at the newcomer, Annie frowned in confusion, "Who is this person?"
"Uh that would be…Fez." Hyde answered, trying not to sound as unsure as he really was.
Jackie's eyes were wide as her heart beat quickened. She loved Fez, and he was one of her closest friends. But he was foreign. She could imagine what Annie would say if they introduced Fez as one of their friends. So the charade continued.
"Our butler!" Jackie announced.
Donna and Eric held back their giggles and quickly turned to look at Fez, wanting to see his outraged expression. When they look at him though, they were shocked to see that their friend just continued to smile, if any change at al had occurred it would've been that Fez's smile showed even more proud-ness.
"Well I should say it's about time we saw some of your staff." Annie stated in a posh tone, "I was beginning to think you didn't get any help around here Jackie, and was doing it all by yourself."
"Oh no, I am a lot of help." Fez said as he walked deep into the living room, "And I do have a good looking butt."
Fez then proceeded to turn himself around and give the guests a nice view of his keister. While Annie rolled her eyes and looked away, Phil took a look—not wanting to be rude.
"So I can assume you and Jackie have finished switching places?" Annie asked Fez, remembering one of the first conversations she'd had with her cousin.
The foreign man furrowed his brow for several seconds as he searched his brain for a recent time that he and Jackie had switched place. A few seconds of think and a light bulb went off.
"Ah yes, yes." He nodded to Annie and then looked back over to Jackie, "And I already put your purple high heeled shoes back in your closet."
By this time Jackie had already dropped her head into her left hand, leaning closer against Hyde, trying and hoping to make herself disappear.
"Jackie, purple shoes, really?" Annie asked in and almost disgusted tone.
That got Jackie's head back up and out of the dark. She was not going to loose because of some shoes. Some purple shoes that she really did love. Of course she wasn't about to admit it now.
"No, not purple." Jackie began, "They're more of a deep, rich violet. And they're very expensive and very one of a kind."
Annie's conceited expression fell from her face, and she suddenly wished she had those shoes, "Oh."
"Aye Jackie, I am sorry." Fez said out loud, getting Annie away from the feeling of feeling sorry for herself, "I did not know they were expensive and one of a kind. I thought you just got them at Payless. I accidentally broke the heel off the right shoe."
Jackie resisted the urge to jump up out of the chair and go kick Fez's ass. Not just because he's said she'd shopped at a discount shoe store, but because he'd ruined one of her favorite shoes. So instead she looked up at Hyde and the two locked eyes.
Now they may not have actually been married, but still they were somehow able to do that freaky telepathic talking thing married people did.
"Hey Fez," Hyde called up as he and Jackie already started to stand up, "Could me and Jackie see you in uh your office."
Fez grinned, "Oo I have an office!"
Hyde rolled his eyes, "The room you're always in…as our butler."
"Oh right." Fez nodded and then soon frowned, "Which room is that?"
"Get in the kitchen!" Hyde ordered loudly.
Phil, Annie, Donna, and Eric watched as Hyde and Jackie disappeared behind the swinging door. A few minutes passed and the room continued on with an uncomfortable silence as each couple exchanged looks with their other half.
"So um…" Phil began to ask breaking the ice only to be interrupted by a foreign yell coming from the next room.
"What?"
Over in the kitchen, Fez stood infront of Hyde and Jackie looking beyond shocked. They had just finished quickly explaining to him what was going on and what his role was going to consist of. What his jobs were as their butler.
"I am not doing those things!" Fez protested with a stomp of his foot.
"Too late." Hyde said with a shrug of his shoulders, "You already said you were our butler."
"But…but…but..." the foreign man struggled with an answer, "I did not know that was what butlers do!"
"Now you know." Jackie said with a smile, as if she'd just helped him.
Fez just glared at his two friends, but now apparent 'employers.' "This is because I am foreign isn't it?"
Jackie and Hyde looked at each other, exchanging glances before turning back to Fez and nodding their heads.
"Yes."
Fez threw his hands up in the air and his jaw dropped to the floor. Jackie had seen similar actions on TV last night while watching a rerun of I Love Lucy, and she didn't want a Ricky Ricardo on her hands. Thinking quickly, she walked over to Fez and placed her hands on his shoulders, calming him down just in time.
"Fez, please you've gotta do this." She practically begged, "It'll really help us out, and it'll mean a lot to me, and…"
"Jackie'll flash you, if you do it." Hyde added when he saw his 'wife's struggle.
While Fez's face looked as if he'd just won the lottery, Jackie snapped her head around to glare her angry mismatched eyes at Hyde. But Hyde just smirked smugly and shrugged his shoulders; he was finally giving Jackie some payback for creating this whole mess.
"Oo yay!" Fez clapped, jumping up and down, "Ok, ok I'll do it!"
Jackie turned her head back to her friend, and hopefully soon butler, "Fez, I am not flashing you."
"Then I am out." Fez said in a very serious tone.
"But Fez…" Jackie began to say only to have Fez lift up his hand and turn his face away.
"I said out!"
Jackie sighed out of frustration. She had to think of something else. She really didn't want to flash one of her best friends. What did Fez like better than boobs? Or at least liked the same amount?
All of a sudden something clicked and a small grin crept its way onto Jackie's lip-gloss covered lips.
"Fez, I'll make you a deal." She began, "Instead of me flashing you. I will give you two candy bars, of your choice, every day for the next three months."
A look of deep thought with a mixture of nervousness, was displayed on the young man's face. He really did want to see Jackie's boobs, but he also wanted candy. It was the great old debate. Boobs or candy? Boobs or candy? Candy or Boobs?" Candy or Boobs?
Jackie could see the difficult fight Fez seemed to be having with in himself—the foreigner was turning from one side to another—and so she added a little something extra to her end of the deal.
"I'll make it three candy bars."
That's when Fez knew what his answer was. The man wasn't dumb, he could do the math. There were only two boobs but three candy bars. He turned himself back to the couple and grinned largely.
"Just call me Benson!" he happily announced.
Hyde and Jackie looked at each other and then a second later turned back to Fez.
"No." they said with a shake of their heads.
"Things are already to confusing." Jackie informed.
Hyde nodded in agreement, "Yeah, Jacks is right. Now come on lets go before we raise more questions."
As the couple walked off ahead, Fez stayed behind smiling at the fact that Hyde had used his nickname for Jackie. After almost two years of not hearing it, it was like music to his ears.
But as Hyde just about opened the swinging door and got ready to walk back to the living room, Fez broke out of his day dream of the Burkhart Hyde Wedding.
"Wait!" he shouted, causing the two to turn around, "What does a butler do again?"
Jackie sighed feeling just about fed up and ready together give up or kill Fez. Luckily Hyde stepped in before she could do either.
"Fez, man we don't have enough time to go over all the duties right now." He explained, "So just do what think you should, but keep an eye on me; I'll let you know how your doing. Got it?"
Fez nodded while giggling, this got both Hyde and Jackie to frown.
"What?" Hyde asked.
"You said doodie." Fez said trying not to burst out laughing.
"Got it?" Hyde barked, as Jackie rolled her eyes in the background.
A frightened Fez nodded his head yes and then followed his friends slash employers into the living room.
Both Jackie and Hyde reentered the room with smiles on their faces. They felt confident that this part of their story would fit in and everything would get back in control.
They hadn't expected to walk out and find the seat that they had been sitting in before now occupied by a man-pretty kettle head as he ramble don to their guest.
"Yeah, I've gone all the way to playdo." Kelso said as if it were nothing.
"You mean Pluto?" Annie asked sounding confused.
"No." Kelso snorted, "That's Mickey Mouse's gay dog."
Both Annie and Phil exchanged perplexed expressions while Donna and Eric stood in the background trying their best not to laugh out loud.
The scene had a diverse of reactions to those who had just entered as well. Fez grinned madly, happy that his friend had joined in on the game. Hyde looked on with wide eyes behind his shade. And poor Jackie looked just about ready to faint.
Author's Note: And that is Chapter 13 of "Meet the Hydes" Hope you liked and that it was worth the wait!
Little-not-so-interesting-fact: the name Annie was chosen because when I first started writing the story I had been watch Father of the Bride movies and the daughter's name is Annie who is played by the wonderful Kimberly Williams Paisley, who yes is married to the wonderful and very handsome Brad Paisley. That Lucky gal.
Until next time, thanks for reading, hope you liked, please review and lemme know what you think, stay tuned, take care, sorry for the long wait, and have a nice day!