I didn't feel angry as such towards Logan but I craved answers to the billions of questions that were now swarming like a disturbed bee hive in my mind.

The drive home was painfully quiet, he said that once there, he would explain everything. I guess that gave me lots of time to think of all manner of questions but the more I thought about what he had told me the more moments from the past made sense.

The rain still poured heavily, Logan's windscreen wipers were on full throttle, he was away with the fairies consumed in his own thoughts. The occasional streetlight flickered past us in the car, making Logan's face glow a golden colour. It was then that other questions began popping up in my head, not ones that concerned Regan but ones that concerned me. Here I was in the company of Logan Henderson, my boyfriend and the person who I made love with and hugged and kissed and told pretty much everything about my life to, but how well did I know him?

I was about to have a baby! The biggest life changing event of a womans life but here I was still chasing boys around and getting caught up with problems of their past lives. Had I really not learnt my lesson from James.

Just because he was my idol and I felt right now I was completely in love with Logan, was I? Was I truly in love with this guy who I now sat next to? I had been head over heels in love with James! But as I found out this morning that was apparently all one sided.

Being famous doesn't make these boys good people! Was I willing to risk more heartbreak and the happiness and stability of my babies life to risk Logan being a good guy?

I looked at him as he drove, his eyes not moving from the road, he looked relaxed now, a lot more relaxed than how he had been ten minutes ago when we left the mediums house. His face was unreadable, he looked like kind, loving, funny guy Logan still but now my mind was whirring as to what was going on inside his head.

He had hurt me before, when he went back to Viola, and tonight I had discovered he had slept with Regan! What other secrets was he hiding?

My thoughts then strayed to Kendall, he was being lied to and manipulated just like I was. He was innocent like me! Just following his heart, believing it to be the right thing. James didn't follow his heart, that much was obvious. I thought Logan did though... I thought I was his heart.

My baby kicked and I placed my hand on the place I had felt it. I was due to give birth in a matter of weeks, I was beyond fat and looked unattractive all the time, I was condemning Logan to an unnecessary difficult life. Why would he go along with that? Why would he put up with his girlfriend expecting another mans child, why would he introduce me to his parents if it wasn't the real thing?

I could feel my chest tighten as my worries grew and grew. This wasn't built to last, this wasn't built for anything. The annoying part was I knew that all the entire fucking time I've been with Logan! I was happy in Canada! I definitely did not want to live in Los Angeles or Texas or any other state that America offered, Canada was my home and the United States was Logan's.

There really was no meet in the middle point.

I had been sugar coating my life with fantasies that Logan and I would be a happy couple that would last forever, I had imagined the dress I would wear to our wedding, I had invisaged my little girl dressed in pink as Logan tossed her in the air, playing.

I had no place being here. I actually felt that James was right and I needed to go home. But this time alone.