A/N: This is not a new chapter. However, I would suggest that you revisit chapters seven and eight - especially seven. I think you'll find some pretty interesting additions and revisions. :)

Chapter 13 – Thread

I'm hanging by a thread

I waited for your call

My hands are turning red

I'm hanging by a thread

I thought I had it all

My parachute's in shreds

I can't sleep. I can't eat. The walls are closing in on me as I sit in this room. I can feel their eyes always watching me; no matter where I go, they are always there. Mobius. They'll forever haunt me until the day they finally grow bored of the chase and take me away to God knows where.

I keep running, but it's never enough. I can't take it anymore. Whoever finds this journal, just know that it's not over. It's never over. I still hear the ringing.

I held onto him for what felt like hours, too afraid to let go. Despite the fear of losing the only thing I had left, I was afraid of what he might do if I pulled away. A not entirely uncomfortable silence remained between us. His possessive grip, though somewhat unnerving, was strangely comforting. It was like every single memory I had repressed over the years was drained into a gigantic ocean of misery and I had been forcibly pushed over the edge to plummet into its murky depths – and here I was clinging to the most risky and unpredictable raft of all time.

Not once did he give any indication of discomfort, instead remaining still, contented despite his inexperience in giving comfort. I didn't even have to look at him to know that he was pleased with my newly formed dependence upon him. He was the only lifeline available when I felt myself hurtling toward the abyss, but just the slightest movement might sever this secure tie with him. I knew that this was probably the most contentment that he had experienced in years, and the thought only made me hold him tighter. He felt less rigid in my arms, almost as if slowly allowing himself to drop his shell-like exterior.

In the heat of the moment, the emotional roller coaster left me a nervous wreck. I still clung to him like a child clings to their favorite toy. Tear drops no longer fell, instead there were only the remnants of despair in their wake. Seized by the tragedy, I felt like a hollow shell of the woman I once was. Everything had been turned upside down in a single moment with only a few simple words from his scarred lips. My eyes closed and I took in a deep breath of air.

"So what happens after all of this?" I asked as I nestled myself further against his chest. "After we leave STEM?"

"You and I will begin the life that we should have had. Together," he replied in a tone that betrayed the hatred for those who had harmed him.

I raised my head to lock my anxiety-filled eyes with him. "Won't Mobius be after us?"

"I will take care of Mobius," he replied in an almost nonchalant tone despite practically spitting the name. "Everything will work as it should."

With a gulp, I fought down the anxiety that was steadily increasing. It took great effort to divert my thoughts from wondering what would happen if he was wrong. I attempted to put on the most serious expression I could muster as a thought entered my mind. "You have to promise me something, Ruben. No more killing. It's bad enough that you're taking Leslie's body away from him, don't make things even worse than they have to be."

The request visibly did not sit well with him. His jaw clenched in frustration. "I cannot guarantee that."

"Ruben-"

"-You have my answer," he replied firmly.

Feeling anger and anxiety rise within me, I gripped at his cloak with a tightened fist. He was thinking about Mobius, more determined than ever to exact his revenge upon the organization that had caused him so much strife. Chewing on my lip, I mulled over his response; but somehow, if I was completely honest with myself, I still wanted to remain by his side despite the morbid admission. My gaze shifted toward a pile of slowly crumbling debris about fifteen feet away from where we stood. Little flecks of ash fluttered to the ground in a tiny heap like snowflakes. Somehow I knew that though everything around us was burning, we were safe amongst the rubble.

"Am I crazy?" The words left my lips before I could stop them.

He returned his gaze back to me though I didn't look at him. A grin formed at my lips, albeit humorless, though I was quite unaware of its subtle appearance. "I'm in the arms of a murderer, a serial killer,...but he's my only friend. And as much as I should hate him, I can't bring myself to because every time I look in his eyes, I see that little boy that I loved so much as a child. But he's broken. Beaten. Literally torn apart." I let out a breath of a laugh, shaking my head. His hold became like a vise, causing me to wince in discomfort. "He's insane." This caused him to frown. If I were anyone else, I would have been killed in that moment. "And I think I must be too."

"After everything I've done for you," he began with a tone so low that it resembled a growl before I interrupted him.

" – Let me finish," I begged. Curiosity bid him to allow me to continue. I stepped back and moved to look deep into his eyes. He was obviously not pleased with where I was going, as evidenced by the tightening of his jaw, but I was determined to make him understand what kind of a position he was putting me in.

"But," I drawled, "he and I…," I took in a breath of air before I could speak the words, "belong together." He was expressionless now, the anger slowly dissolving away. "I can see that now. We'll be broken together."

I hesitantly placed my hands on both sides of his face and stood on my toes to plant a kiss on his cheek which retained some portion of his former skin; I gave him a tiny smile. He was momentarily caught off guard by the act, eyes growing slightly wider despite his deadened nerves unable to feel my lips meet his pasty flesh. My grin vanished, opting for the most serious face that I could muster. "And I'll follow you into the dark," I said with finality.

He studied me for a moment, almost as though allowing the words to sink in. With a sudden ferocity, his hands moved to the my back, crushing me against him. I let out a gasp; his face displayed the intensity of his thoughts. "Don't you see? You and I can finally have the lives that we should have had."

Hands still gently placed upon the sides of his cheeks, I brushed over the area where my lips had been with my thumb. My eyes darted across his features, feeling a pang of sadness burst through me. I could see in his eyes that he desired the feeling of my touch, but it would take the sacrifice of Leslie for that to happen. It felt wrong. Guilt filled me despite the fact that I would not be the one at fault. My eyes closed momentarily as I pushed the thoughts aside. "I want that so much," I whispered with a sad smile.

As I lowered my hands, he rested his forehead against my own. I was surprised, but submissive to the sudden act; but God he was so cold. As uneasy as his proximity felt, it wasn't enough to deter me.

"You don't think that I will succeed," he stated.

A tightness formed in my throat. "It's hard to have hope in you defeating something that's so much bigger. You have to admit, it's quite a lofty goal."

"I created this machine. I know its workings."

I bit my lip, taking his hand in my own. "Well then, I suppose that's enough of a reason to not doubt you."

He pulled away, giving me a slow, reassuring nod of agreement.

"Can I ask you something?" I questioned with a slightly quivering voice.

He raised a brow. "Haven't you already been asking me questions?"

I shrugged, glancing off to the side at the uncomfortable response. "But…this is different…," I said in a low, unsure tone.

He remained silent, no doubt pondering. "Ask," he commanded.

My nails dug into my palm, gaze shifting from the floor to any random object located inside the room; never once looking at him. "This whole thing with taking over Leslie's body…you obviously knew that the machine was capable of this, so I assume it's not just a fluke plan you came up with…" I took a chance to judge his reaction to find him intently listening, albeit as intently as he was capable of being. With this as a reassurance, I continued. "Was STEM originally supposed to be a way to bring Laura back? Transfer her consciousness into another's body so she would wake up?"

Once again, he was quiet. Different emotions were hidden in those silver eyes, some that I could not make out. A part of me was scared that I had offended him, which wouldn't' have surprised me considering that the man was a ticking time bomb. However, I was pleased to find that he retained his composure; whatever he was feeling, he kept it well hidden. "Yes. It will revive her as well," he replied, determination stitched firmly within his tone.

"Where is Leslie now?" I asked.

"For now, he is safe with the detective."

My eyes grew to the size of dinner plates as I recalled the man in question. "Sebastian? Is he…Is he alright?"

He gave a dark breath of a laugh, a smirk forming at his lips. "That would depend upon your definition of "alright.""

Not in the mood for his sarcasm, I furrowed my brows in frustration. "You know what I mean." Despite the temptation to roll my eyes, I settled for a sigh.

He, however, did not stifle the temptation. "Yes…he is "alright,"" he replied in a monotone manner.

More questions came to mind despite how much I wanted to save them for another time followed by the tiniest ounce of fear. Annoying him too much could make for quite an unfortunate problem, but I just couldn't seem to stop myself. "You promise that nothing bad will happen to Leslie once you take control, right?" I questioned meekly.

He gave no answer, merely looking beyond me as though lost in thought.

I felt my heart sink, hope falling from my reach. "You can't, can you?" I whispered.

He seemed to come back to life as he finally acknowledged my question. "Nothing like this has ever been attempted before. As for now, the repercussions are undeterminable without further progression."

I growled a curse, placing my head into my hands. That poor boy…after all that he had suffered…

"If it's any consolation, this is my burden to bear; not yours," he said. I could have almost laughed. There was no part of him that would feel any sort of burden when it came to obtaining what he desired, no matter the cost.

My head raised with a slow motion, red tresses messily falling into my face. "And would it be? Do you realize the severity of what you're doing?" I almost barked.

He was without any expression. "He is my vessel. I will use him as I see fit." The words came out with a ominous tone.

I wasn't surprised in the slightest. The constant battle with him was wearing, driving me insane.

I took hold of his cloak, simultaneously pulling him closer and pressing myself into him. A newfound confidence – mostly due to the ever-growing frustration that built inside – caused me to disregard any hesitation that I felt toward demanding his full attention. Though liberating, it was an equally dangerous move – one that he did not seem entirely pleased with. A flicker of a scowl appeared, eyes narrowed in his own sort of perturbed disgruntlement; I had poked the bear with a sharp stick. Oh, how I was treading on thin ground with him. I knew that though I was relatively safe in his company, I was pushing my limits.

I stood on my toes until we were close to the same level, eyes locked onto his. "You still have a heart, I know it's still in there. Why else would you go to all this trouble for me?" Despite my attempt to seem indifferent to his intimidating demeanor, my tone retained its fearful quality.

He raised a hand, causing me to flinch and shut my eyes as I awaited punishment. And though I could not see, I knew that this pleased him. A smile spread across his features, dark and gratified that he was able to make me squirm. He still claimed ownership over my submission. The charred hand latched onto the back of my head, causing my eyes to open. Fingers dug into my hair, pulling the strands as he squeezed. I grunted in disagreement, the pain making my eyes water, but still I would not submit. He wanted me to beg and I would not give him the satisfaction.

This wasn't enough for him. His other hand dug into my low back. He leaned in close, inches separated us. I did not squirm. Eyes daring him to do more, I gave a defiant smile. The gleam in his eyes intensified as he eyed me hungrily – much as I imagined that he looked at one of his test subjects before the initial procedure. I could feel his breath on my skin as it came in heavy waves. My heart raced as I anticipated his next move with an unnervingly giddy excitement deep inside my chest. C'mon, I silently provoked, What more can you do to me?

However, I did not anticipate what he did next.

It jarred me, bewilderment causing the realization of his actions to be delayed. His lips roughly met mine; calloused, scarred flesh pressed against the comparatively tender skin of my own pair. My eyes widened in confusion and utter surprise. I froze, terrified in his grip; every nerve was on fire with his touch. He pulled away, a satisfied smirk slowly returning to his features.

But I refused to allow him to win; if this was how he wanted to play it, then I wouldn't go down without a fight. I pulled the edges of his hood, tugging him back towards me. Once again, our lips united as I pressed mine to his. His hand released itself from my hair and traveled until it reached in between my shoulder blades. Fingernails dug into my skin, causing me to let out a tiny whimper. And oh, how this pleased him.

He tasted of blood. His tongue demanded entrance; I, in turn, allowed him exploration while our battle continued. Teeth sank into my lip, causing me to let out a small cry. My hands clawed at his skin, no longer concerned with fragility of its never-healing scabs. A growl came from deep in his throat. I traversed the contours of his body until landing on the fabric of his cloak, causing the hood to fall from over his head. As he realized what had happened, he shoved me away. I was sent stumbling, gripping the wall to keep me upright.

What I exposed caused me to gasp. The upper right portion of his skull was missing, brain tissue exposed through the clear plastic covering that served as protection. Within the plastic were a series of round holes, from which I gathered was how he conducted experiments upon himself with STEM. Crude stitching surrounded the makeshift skull, red and infected in places. Despite my occupation as a nurse, I found myself becoming squeamish at the sight. The full extent of his facial scars were now visible as they extended from the lower portion of his face toward various places along his bald head. He raised the hood, once again concealing the mutilations.

All memory of the previous few seconds vanished as I watched him with concern and fright. "Ru-Ruben." I took a step towards him, only to have him turn his back to me.

He peered over his shoulder, stoic and without a single trace of the dark satisfaction he displayed before. "Always remember that you are mine," he said. With this, the darkness of his demeanor intensified; commanding. "I will return. You will be here when I get back."

I jutted a hand out and clung to his own, stopping him from leaving. A mixture of confusion and annoyance was painted across his features before shifting toward a softer expression at my silent plea to stay. As we stood, arms outstretched as I gripped onto his hand, silver eyes commanded me to release him. With hesitation, I let him go.

"And you'd better return," I replied.

He turned and walked away, glitching out of sight. The hand that held his placed delicate fingers upon my lips as I recalled the feeling of his rough kiss. It certainly wasn't pleasant; he took advantage of me during a moment of weakness and staked his claim upon me. But at the same time, it wasn't quite unpleasant…If anything, it assured me that he was still human and shared the same urges that most face. It was an almost refreshing change from the sadistic nature he normally possessed.

But his goal had been clear; it was not merely lustful intentions, but devious as well. He knew my weaknesses; my pain. He wanted to make my skin crawl by showing me that he could overpower me in every possible way. It wasn't about nostalgia or loneliness, it was control. He did care for me, that much he made clear, but now that he had me he would break me until I was molded into the little girl who depended on him once again.

The places where he hurt me would turn into dark bruises which I would wear like marks of his ownership, I was surprised that he hadn't done more to permanently brand me. I unconsciously ran my fingers over the sores. Even if he couldn't feel much I had done some damage to him, causing him to bleed in areas. That was all I could do. And though he had caused me harm, he showed restraint. I had not seen the full extent of his anger yet.

There was one thing he had succeeded in, though…He made me weak. He made me want him despite all that he had put me through. It made me sick with anger; it made me crazy.

But I wanted him nonetheless.

A/N: Well, that was unexpected. Ruvik, it's kinda soon for that...Also, this is my first kissing scene I've ever done (and I promise this is the raunchiest this story or any other story of mine will ever get.) How did I do? I'd appreciate the feedback. (I may have to run away from the internet for a few days though because of the anxiety; I have an anxiety disorder and I freak out over nothing.)

Thank you to those that followed, favorited, and reviewed!

And to dampen the mood a little,...the town that I live in had a horrible tornado blow right through it on Sunday night, taking out a third of the city. (I actually wrote this chapter during the storm to help calm my nerves.) My family and I made it out fine, but so many others weren't as lucky. Many lost their homes (some of our friends did) and some lost their lives. It's been all hands on deck. Disaster relief people are everywhere and, supposedly, CNN and MSNBC have been reporting it. Really, what I'm trying to get at is that they need prayer - if any of y'all feel led to do it. It would really be appreciated.

Pearl: Thank you so much! :) I'm so relieved to hear that you think that they were realistic, that was something that I was extremely worried about! It's hard to keep Ruvik in character when he's not murderous, XD. Also, I drove such a wedge between them that I was concerned I would never get it turned the way I wanted it to in a believable way. And you are so sweet! :D Oh my gosh! Your reviews just make my day! :) I'm glad to hear that you like my story that much!

And finally, the lyrics are from 'Thread' by Flyleaf.