Dealing With It – Part 14

Jack lay silently while Nina slept. He'd woken early and, never the easiest sleeper, he'd found himself unable to drop off again. He thought back to last night and couldn't stop a small smile of pleasure at the memory. It was kind of a relief to have broken the sexual tension that had been building between them for over a year now and he had to admit, it had been good. Better than good.

He looked over to where she lay curled up, with her back to him. She'd fallen asleep in his arms but had moved sometime during the night and there was clear distance between them now. Jack reached over and ran a finger softly down her back, carefully, so he didn't wake her up. There was so much he didn't know about Nina, he'd only seen her alone outside of work twice before this night. Neither of them socialized much with their colleagues, so he hadn't heard anyone else really talk about her either. 'Well, I'm the boss,' he reminded himself. 'No one would gossip to me anyway.'

He looked up at the ceiling again and thought about Teri. What the hell was she going to make of this? He had to tell her didn't he? He couldn't go back, knowing he'd slept with another woman and not tell her that. Jack sighed, and all the good feelings about the night before went away, leaving him feeling sick with guilt. Sure, he and Teri had separated. But nothing had been said about seeing other people and he knew she wouldn't have done what he just had. Would she even take him back at all though, whether she knew about Nina or not? She might decide to never let him come home. His insides clenched at the thought. No, he couldn't think that. He had to hold out hope.

But then...he looked at Nina's back again and felt even worse. Had he just used her for sex? Was he so lonely that he'd just taken what he could get...or was there more to it? He liked Nina, he knew that much, and he respected her immensely as well. She was so good at her job and so professional, and calm, and...damnit! Jack felt like sh!t and was all of a sudden too restless to just lie there. He slid out of bed without waking her and went downstairs to make a coffee.

He didn't want to stop seeing Nina. That's what it came down to and he had to admit it to himself. Oh sure, he'd go back to Teri in a heartbeat if she let him – but she hadn't let him yet and he didn't like being on his own. He wasn't used to it. And Nina was fun, and smart and sexy, she could get any guy she wanted. Jack was sure that she only wanted a casual thing with him, there was no way she'd waste herself on a married man, surely?

So why not? Why not keep seeing her? Jack rubbed a hand over his face and scratched at the stubble on his chin. If it was just a fling she wanted....oh hell, she might have only wanted a one night stand. He was obsessing. He turned to the coffee machine and poured a mug, then went to sit in the lounge. Play it by ear, that was the thing to do. She'd probably tell him it had been fun but that was it – and they'd be able to go back to who they were before. He put Nina out of his mind for the time being and starting wondering if Teri would actually talk to him this weekend.

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Nina waited until Jack got out of bed before opening her eyes. She'd felt him run that finger down her back and it had been all she could do to stop herself rolling over and leaping on him. But she'd pretended to be still asleep and was quite relieved when he finally got up and went downstairs. As soon as he did, she rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling, her mind racing.

It had been incredible. Really incredible. She had never allowed herself to feel anything really special for a man before, so while sex in the past had been good, it was never mind-blowing. But it was different with Jack. She felt a pull towards him that was a completely new experience for her. It was scary – but intoxicating at the same time.

She remembered the way he'd felt when he grabbed her and the way he'd held her close afterwards. It had been so confusing, eventually she'd had to disentangle herself from his arms and sleep away from him. Being held like that was almost too much. Even now, she wanted to go and see him, just talk to him and kiss him. Spend some time with him. But...what if he was only interested in a one night stand? He was married – and he obviously still loved Teri. She was sure he'd go back to her as soon as he was allowed to.

He hadn't said a great deal about the separation, just that Teri had asked him to move out. Nina didn't know if there was another guy involved or whether Teri had fallen out of love with him or anything....maybe Jack had been treating her badly. But judging by Jacks high level of respect for people in general, she found that one hard to believe. Still, there wasn't any indication of what was going on, Nina didn't know enough about the situation to find any cracks and exploit them.

She wanted Jack. She had been attracted before last night and now it was a thousand times worse. And as for those.... 'extra curricular' activities at work – well, they needn't be an issue. There didn't seem to be much chance of her being activated fully any time soon, they would wait until she had the top job for that. For now they seemed to be content with any nuggets of information she tossed their way so there was no reason why that would get in the way of spending time with Jack. She didn't keep any evidence of her other life at her house, so it would be OK to have him here and....

Nina stopped herself. She was getting carried away. There was no indication yet whether he'd ever be coming back here again or not. Maybe he'd walk out in a few hours and go back to simply being her boss. She hoped not. More than anything, she hoped he wouldn't do that. She wanted to go and join him downstairs but something stopped her and she didn't move. If she went down, it might be all over. At least by staying here she could hold out hope that in the morning, they'd still be lovers, and he wouldn't leave like everyone else did.

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Teri sat in the den, coffee in her hands and her robe pulled tightly around her. She'd woken up and her first thought had been whether Jack was alright or not and then she hadn't been able to go back to sleep. Since Phil had kissed her the night before, she'd found herself unable to think of anything but her husband. She felt so guilty about what she'd done – partly because she'd kissed him back and partly because she'd really enjoyed it too. She liked Phil a lot but....well, he wasn't Jack. She'd rolled the situation around in her head so many times, looking for an answer, but so far, nothing.

She sighed and took a sip of coffee. She'd have to talk to Jack. She'd been putting it off and putting it off, waiting to see how things developed with Phil, waiting to see what Jack did, trying to sort out her own feelings. But there was only one way to figure out how to move on, and that was to see if Jack was getting any better. And if he was? Well....Phil would understand. He was a great guy and she really liked him a lot. But Teri couldn't pretend to love anyone but the man she'd been married to for all these years, and she had to give him a chance. Things could carry on the way they were if Jack still wasn't ready, but she should at least talk to him and find out how things were going. She missed him, that was the truth of it, and she finally felt like it was time they tried to put things back together again. It had been two months now after all. Teri grinned with relief at having come to something close to a decision.

'What are you smiling about?'

Teri jumped in shock and snapped her head around to see an annoyed looking Kim standing in the doorway, her arms folded tightly across her chest.

'What are you doing up honey? It's 5am.' Teri tried to sound light-hearted and friendly but she couldn't help but feel annoyed at the open hostility in her daughter's voice.

'I saw the light on. What are you doing?'

'I couldn't sleep.'

Kim smirked. 'Guilty conscience?'

Teri frowned. 'Why would you say that? And please don't use that tone of voice with me Kimberly, its not nice.'

'Mom, give me a break. You kick Dad out of the house, you're seeing another random guy and now you're sitting there grinning to yourself like everything's fine! Well it's not fine! Why are you doing this? When's Dad coming home?' Kim was almost shouting now.

Teri was stunned and couldn't say anything for a second, something that was not lost on Kim.

'You didn't know I knew about him, did you? Yeah well, you should be a little more careful about kissing him in the car with the light on – it wasn't hard to see you. And Susan's mom saw you at a restaurant with him last weekend. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is, having a friends Mom ask why you weren't with Dad?' Kim was really shouting now, her face was red and she was pointing a finger angrily at her mother.

'Kim...' Teri didn't know what to say. She'd been taken completely by surprise, she'd had no clue that Kim knew about Phil. She felt terrible that Kim had found out the way she had – and if she was honest with herself, she was sorry that she'd found out about it at all. 'Kim, I'm sorry honey. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to tell you about Phil because – well, it's nothing really. There's nothing to tell.'

Kim refolded her arms and looked disgusted. 'Nothing? So you'd do that sort of thing if Dad was here would you?'

'No!' Teri looked at her hostile young daughter and just felt sad. Kim had every right to be angry really, she couldn't blame her for feeling this way. 'No Kim, of course I wouldn't. Come and sit down, I want to talk to you.'

Kim glared for a minute, but she did eventually unfold her arms and stalk over to one of the chairs. She flung herself into it and stared at Teri, waiting to be convinced.

Teri leaned in towards Kim, her face sad and her voice soft. She really needed Kim to understand this. 'I didn't meet Phil very long ago. He and I are just spending some time together, that's all. There's nothing really going on – I love your father. You know I do Kim, and hopefully he'll be back with us soon. I want you to understand that we're doing everything we can to try and fix our problems.' Which wasn't strictly true, Teri admitted to herself, but it was better that Kim thought it was.

Kim relaxed a little but her tone was still hard when she asked 'If you're doing everything to fix it, why are you kissing another guy? Why isn't Dad here every night talking to you and working it out? It doesn't seem like you're trying very hard!'

'It's complicated Kim. We need some space from each other and if he were here all the time we wouldn't get that. But we both still love you more than anything and we'll do everything we can to be a family again, OK honey?'

Kim just stared at her, not buying any of it. Her disbelief was written all over her face and frankly, Teri couldn't blame her. She'd done a lame job of explaining things – but it was hard for her to even explain this stuff to herself, let alone a teenager.

'I'm going back to bed. This sucks. Can I ask Dad if I can sleep over at his place on the weekend?'

Teri tried not to let the hurt show on her face. 'I don't know if that's such a good idea Kim....' She saw the mutinous expression start to form on the pretty features and all of a sudden, felt too tired to deal with it. '...but I'll ask him, OK? If he's not working I can't see it being a problem.'

'Thanks.' Kim walked back to her room, leaving Teri feeling like she'd just gone five rounds with a heavyweight boxer. She couldn't believe that she'd been careless enough to let Kim find out about Phil, couldn't believe that she hadn't noticed before just how angry Kim was about all this. She hadn't even really thought about the consequences of what she was doing....well, at least one thing came out of all of this. It was time to start fixing things. Teri felt resolved for the first time in a long while. Even if she and Jack couldn't salvage the marriage, at least she'd know. It was time to stop running from it and start talking. She'd call him tomorrow.