DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in the story and I am not affiliated with Pretty Little Liars—the cast, the writers and creators of the show, or the book series. All characters featured in "For Now" belong to the creators of PLL, but I do claim the story line as my own.
With that being said, I hope you guys enjoy :)
"And if you're in love, you're one of the lucky ones because most of us are just bitter over someone."
Ezra had left for work the next morning after putting up much of a fight with Aria on the subject. "I'm fine," he promised and practically pleaded.
Aria looked at him, examining him for anything unusual. "You took a nasty blow last night, Ezra. I'm not sure I want you risking something." She sounded like an overprotective mother as she spoke, but he knew it was just her fear of something more becoming of the altercation and he could hear that mounting concern for it lingering in her voice.
"Aria," he said as he cupped her face in his hands. "I will be fine," he insisted and gently placed his lips on hers, a soft, long kiss ensuing.
She pulled away slightly in her last attempt and tried to appeal to the man in him. "But we could stay like this all day." She paused, a grin on her face. "I don't have to go to class today and we can-"
But even this didn't make him budge and reconsider taking a day off. "Aria," he said, sighing. A small smile formed nonetheless, flattered by her desire to keep him with her. "I'm going." He leaned in to kiss her forehead and, as he pulled away, he reminded her, "I'll see you tonight."
It wasn't that he didn't want to spend a day with her, but he knew that spending a whole day with Aria made him want her even more and she wasn't ready to open up enough for that part of the relationship to begin again. He was okay with that, but didn't want his desires to overwhelm him in the heat of the moment. He knew that he'd never go past what she felt comfortable with, but he needed to not be placed in a situation where he had to keep a close watch on the obvious sexual intimacy that still existed between the two of them and where it took them before they were ready to open that door again and explore the love they shared in closer ways that a quick kiss or hug. And the truth was, neither of them were ready to become intimate in that way just yet because they needed to maintain a strong connection without being sexual towards each other.
After Ezra left for work, Aria was left to her own devices to find ways to pass the time until her full day of classes started. She found herself wandering his apartment, becoming reacquainted with it, but wishing he was there with her. Not only was she beyond smitten once again (which felt good), but she also needed an excuse not to go to the lecture halls and buildings of Hollis College campus and the classes full of intimidating English professors and students who were much too convinced by their own skills and abilities.
She walked over to his unmade bed, smiling at it as she thought of the night before and how comfortable she'd felt, being so close to him. It was like nothing had changed: the spot in his bed was still reserved for her, no matter the amount of nights she'd spent away from it. Her face flushed when she was reminded of the other times they'd spent together, intertwined with one another between the sheets, passing time comfortably.
She sat on the bed, close to the nightstand, admiring the picture that sat on top of his dark oak nightstand. The picture captured them happy and in-love. Ella had snapped the picture at a family dinner, as Aria stood next to Ezra, with her right arm wrapped around his waist, tugging on the side of his shirt, and an admiring grin on her face, one that obviously held laughter. She looked up at Ezra, who smiled back down at her, just as much happiness detectable in his grin as in her's. It was a candid moment and the two were extremely happy with the photo her mom had taken and given to them as a surprise gift on their two year anniversary.
She picked it up to look more closely at the picture but, as she did, she felt a small slip of folded paper attached to the back of the frame, a small piece of tape holding it in-place. She flipped over the picture frame, tearing the piece of paper off the back carefully. She unfolded it and tried to remove the creases time had made as it kept it paralyzed on the back of the frame.
Aria's face was drained of all its color as she began to realize what it was, staring at it breathlessly. She didn't know what to make of it.
She looked at it in disbelief: a $5,000 check made-out to Ezra Fitzgerald, written by Byron Montgomery.
Aria spent her Old Literature class sitting and thinking of what the check she found could have meant. Did it change anything? Everything? Dozens of explanations occupied her mind, keeping her from examining the words of Shakespeare and being engaged in class discussion.
She planned to skip her next class to go see and talk to Ezra over his free lunch period. It wasn't something that could wait much longer because the questions were keeping her in a state of panic and emotional instability and the answers were seeming to call her, teasing her with playful "catch me if you can"s and a constant repetition of "you'll never understand, foolish girl," which kept it nearly impossible for her to be productive with her day. Her decision had been made by the end of the exhausting set of morning classes that had allowed her much time to be with her thoughts.
She was left to think about it by herself during the ride to Rosewood High and she thought she would implode by the time she parked in a guest parking spot. But deep down, something in her knew that no matter how many reasons she came up with, the truth behind the check wasn't going to change, twist, vary because it was exactly that: truth. She feared she already knew what the truth was. Consciously though, she wanted to give Ezra every benefit of the doubt and allow him a chance to explain because something in her - everything in her - screamed, telling her to not let go and hold on tightly to him because he was the one.
Aria walked in a fast pace as she made her way into the school, ignoring the faces of students as she raced past them. Answers motivated her to reach Ezra as quickly as possible before the unknown and what she found could possibly mean for them ate her alive. A check made out to him from her father made no sense and she could only come up with one possible explanation for a large sum of cash being given to him from her dad and she feared that it correlated with their sudden breakup. Could Ezra really have been sold out?
"Ezra," she said, walking into his classroom and up to his desk. "We need to talk."
"Okay," he said, a concerned look on his face, though it was obvious that he was happy to see her.
She wanted to keep calm and slowly lead into her questions, but her anxiety for an answer made her quickly pull the check out and pair it with the note she'd found. "What the hell is this?!" she questioned him as he glanced at it, allowing his eyes to focus on what she was holding. "What the hell does this mean, Ezra?!" she asked furiously, her eyes beginning to water as she saw his face drop. She knew what it meant: her instincts were true.
She shook her head silently, trying to deny it and blinking back the tears quickly forming in her eyes.
"Aria," he began, but was immediately interrupted.
"Read what the note says, Ezra," she demanded.
Ezra didn't reply, refusing to make eye contact with the note and check she was holding.
"Read the god damn note!" she said, raising her voice in frustration.
He cleared his throat, hesitating and looking up. His eyes sent out a plea of please, don't. Please don't make me do this.
But Aria's head nodded upwards once, a silent command to read it.
He mumbled, "For whenever you decide that Aria's future is more important than the one you two seem to have made up in your minds. I thought this would be a nice incentive for you to compromise" just loud enough so she could hear it.
At this, tears escaped, steadily streaming down Aria's face. "Ezra," she whispered in a voice that reminded him of a whimper a wounded animal would cry out. She wanted him to deny it, say the words were a sick joke, but she had seen and read them too.
"Please, Aria, listen to me," he started, pleading with her in an attempt to make her stay.
She did. But only because something in her hoped that deep down inside, it wasn't what it seemed and there was a reasonable answer.
"Your father came and talked to me one day," he began when he realized she was staying to listen. "He convinced me that I was holding you back and taking away chances and that if I continued to do that, it would be selfish of me. You deserved to be with someone your age and who didn't keep you from experiencing the things that you should at this age."
"Since when is that your decision?" she snapped back. "And why did you think it was yours to decide on? What happened to us being a team?"
"I didn't want to have the life you weren't intended to have because of me. There's so much out here, more than this. You deserved to go places and that's what I wanted for you. I don't want to be the reason you have regrets or the reason you didn't have the chance to experience more than what I can offer you," he explained frantically in an attempt to keep Aria from leaving and to get her to try to understand where he was coming from.
Aria broke out into sobs. "You made me feel like it was me. I didn't know what I did to you when you suddenly decided that there was no room for me in your life. Did you ever think about that, Ezra? I felt worthless and broken. I wanted to be with you and I was willing to give up all that so that we could have an actual chance, a shot at the life we wanted together. I told you this before."
"I didn't want you to sacrifice opportunities! You could go far, father than you could with me," he said softly, attempting to reason with her.
"I don't want to go anywhere if it's not with you!" she yelled.
With this statement, a silence blanketed them. The quiet that ensued between them was tense and growing. Aria wiped the tears from her face, trying to get her emotions under control. Ezra was quiet, stuck in his own thoughts and thinking about what she had said and how he had allowed Byron Montgomery to bully him into something he never wanted and convince him that their future and the plans they'd made were insignificant and unrealistic.
She had just one more question for him. "Why didn't you fight?" she asked sheepishly, looking down with her arms crossed over her chest.
"I thought he was right and that there was nothing to fight about. I wanted what was best for you and had to put my wants and needs aside to make sure yours were met," he explained, his tone low and soft in an attempt to settle the rising tension and frustration.
Aria snapped her head in his direction, looking up at him with disbelief written all on her face. "I would have fought, Ezra! I would have fought for us and what we had. I would have fought for the life we wanted to share. What happened to being in this together, Ezra? I was willing to sacrifice parts of my life because I wanted to hthat's life with you. And you made the choice without me, made the choice for me. You're selfish for doing that, no matter your reasons. And you completely disregarded the meaning of a life together. I thought we were on the same page, but you gave up so easily and if you're willing to give something so 'special' without a fight, what does that mean for us? Or the future we wanted together?" She took in a long breath then exhaled to release the emotions built up inside her.
She shook her head slightly in disbelief. "And knowing that you took 5,000 dollars over me and the promise of a future together..." she trailed off, not beings able to finish. "Just keep the check, Ezra," she finished, unable to make eye contact with him.
"Aria, I don't want the check. There's a reason I never did anything with it. I could never accept that money." He took the check in his hands and began to tear it up, wishing to undo the damage it'd already done. "5,000 dollars is nothing to me compared to what we have a chance at."
"But it was enough at the time," she scoffed, looking up at him with a harsh glare.
"I didn't end things because of the money, Aria. I ended it because I thought that you had a better chance at a life you wanted - and deserved - without me."
"Ezra, the only thing I cared about having in my life was you. There's nothing that I wanted besides a life with you and I don't care about those chances because I had what I wanted and needed with you. Why do you get to make these decisions for me? For us? Our future isn't just in your hands," she said.
She looked around his classroom, avoiding any eye contact, before saying in a low voice, "I need to go." She glanced up at him for a moment then turned to leave.
But before she could leave, Ezra grabbed her wrist gently and turned her around to face him. "Aria," he said, his eyes pleading for her not to leave like this. "What does this mean?"
She herself was unsure of where this left them and what it meant for their newly recovered relationship. The only thing she was sure of was that she needed time to think for herself. "I don't know," she replied simply.
"I don't want to lose you again," he said, sadness laced in his voice.
"I can't guarantee that you haven't," she whispered, distancing herself from him. She gave him one final glance, her eyes seeming to say, I'm sorry I can't give you more. She left quietly, trying to fight back more tears from destroying any sense of strength she had left.
Ezra stood, his head down as he tried to comprehend how everything had gone so wrong so fast.
Aria was gone and so was his chance.
Thank you so much for reading! :-)
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xoxo Halle