Background: Season 1, episode 12 (Vision of Hope) (Background doesn't really matter in this particular chapter)
Inspired by my own nasal condition that has been sticking around for TWO FREAKING MONTHS.
P.S. Check out my new fic, Ghosts!
Disclaimer: I do not own Disney, Mickey Mouse, Star Wars Rebels or any of its characters.
Partly inspired from a YouTube comment saying that if stormtroopers tried to miss their targets on purpose, they would hit every target.
"YATSCHUUF... sniff"
That signaled the start of a series of unfortunate events for the stormtroopers.
Following that first sneeze, a whole legion was infected with the flu virus.
It was not a strong one, but irritating enough to mess with one's everyday lives.
For one thing, the rebels could always tell stormtroopers were hiding nearby because of the muffled TCHOO or echkffe behind doors, around corners and inside vehicles.
For another, they failed to be the galaxy's worst shots. Yes, they were supposed to miss every target, but a sneeze would mess up their aim every time and they ended up acing every shooting practice session.
"Alright, there's gonna be a bunch of stormtroopers in there but don't worry, it will be as safe as always," Mickey told the rebels, yet unaware of this situation.
"Okay," said Sabine while Ezra saluted jokingly. They had no idea what lay waiting.
"YOU TOLD US IT WOULD BE SAFE!" screamed Kanan into the comm twenty minutes later.
He, Zeb and Sabine were dragging or carrying the rest of the unconscious crew and running as fast as they could towards the nearest blockade which they could hide behind.
Coughing and sneezing stormtroopers followed close behind.
Even with their blasters set to Stun (as always, actually), they had knocked out half the rebel crew.
Once they realized what was happening, they quickly switched to Sting, but even that greatly hindered the crew's plans.
Sabine felt like she was being pummeled with one of those BB guns. The Sting setting hurt... And those troopers were squaring every shot!
Quickly she jumped behind a pile of rations crates. The rest followed suit.
"What do you mean, I told you you were safe? You are!" Came Mickey's reply, slightly buzzing with static.
"Well, safety my great Lasat butt!" yelled Zeb into the comm before Kanan could reply. "When did they get so good?!"
"Well, I don't know what's going on! Is your team capable of continuing filming?"
"How can we film when half of us are knocked out?"
"Ugh. If it's that bad, get back to the main office immediately. We'll... Put it on hold."
And so the episode was put on hold, while half the Ghost crew recovered from stun shots.
The stormtrooper battalion was replaced with a different one. The soldiers were notified to drop by the medical office for a checkup.
After they were diagnosed with a flu, thwy were forbidden from appearing in any episodes until they fully recovered, and it was a common sight to see a stormtrooper in bathrobes, drinking hot chocolate.
Not that they minded any of this.
Some troopers actually wanted the flu to stick around.
But alas, biological science worked its way, and it was to much grumbling that the guy in the meds office told the stormtroopers that they were fully healed and back in action.