Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, et al.

Author's Note: So here's the deal. What happens in this section, what's revealed was intimated to the reader since the inception of the story, there are words and feelings to describe what has happened since its inception. So if you are so inclined, go back and read and do the treasure hunt, I promise you won't be disappointed AND if you had already guessed, then kudos to you. ENJOY!

If you have been reading and enjoying this story, could you let me know about it, seriously it would mean a lot to me.

Chapter 7 – The World I Know – Meredith Grey

"Hope still lingers on."

Dim lights invaded Meredith's mind, body and spirit, she saw flashes of that night, the one she so desperately wanted to put aside, yet found herself completely drawn to – for Derek's hold on her, it was tight – tighter than ever before and she was done trying to break away. Flashes, intermittent now, the familiar sensation of his lips covered her body; the familiar scent of him – of them – invaded her nostrils and stuck there like sweet honey. Her body responded to his ministrations without her consent – she could get away from it, the dull ache of him had lodged itself to her soul – for she had been deemed its keeper. She tried to turn away, her heart beat wildly in her eardrums now – the sensations so overpowering, so real – he may as well have been with her.

Derek, Derek, Derek, his wide eyes bore into hers – she saw him and he saw her, almost as if it was for the very first time – and with that, she was back to the day of Doc's death, to the night of the Prom.

She decided to brace herself for what was to come – flutters of their last series of intimate moments together crowded her brain now – and here was no place for her, she was consumed. So instead of fighting them off she succumbed to the heavy weight of their emotional meaning once again – somewhere in between – the world she once knew and the world she so desperately wanted. In the end, she did what she always did, she allowed herself to become lost within the dull ache of the only man she ever loved.

***

Her hand submersed in Doc's soft golden fur.

Derek's fingers brushing against hers for the briefest of moments.

The electric current that passed between them.

Invisible fishing lines reattached.

Souls reunited.

Derek's glistening eyes, unshed emotion.

The last beat of Doc's heart.

The tight feeling in her chest.

Derek's wide, tortured eyes over the loss of their safe connector.

The look on his face as she came down the steps to the Prom.

Her wide eyes on Derek as she danced with Finn.

Their fighting words to one another.

Derek's secret torture revealed … he can't stop seeing her.

The revelation … they both cared about the tragic beauty that defined them.

The small spark of life that ignited deep in her core at the first touch of his lips.

The perfect crescent moon indentations her fingernails left on his shoulders.

Derek's heartbeat under her palm.

His hands submersed in her wild tresses, his need to wield control over their kisses.

Meredith's willingness to give that to him.

The taste of his skin.

The velvety soft skin around his rock hard cock, his veins pulsing with need as she led him safely home.

His perfect fit within her muscles as he rocked her into bliss.

The look of torture-filled pleasure in his gateways as he found their perfect tempo.

Her heartbeat under his palm.

The euphoria of their bubble.

Magnets no longer repelled.

Skin on skin, flesh around flesh, muscles around muscles … all connected, all joined in harmony.

Blissful oblivion … their connection restored forevermore.

It meant something, what did it mean?

The rebirth of their passion, their love or even more simply put … that she had loved him for … ever.

***

Meredith opened her eyes wide to the new day, and as she did she heard her distant voice coming from deep within her subconscious and breaking through into the real world, her small room on the near-ruined island. Her voice always sounded the same – passion-filled, hoarse, broken, desperate and far away – like through a deep underground tunnel. Her calls for Derek always rang around in the empty space of her room – DEREK, DEREK – like the whistle of a forgotten tea kettle.

Meredith rolled over and sighed, she peeked at the clock – it was just after 11 AM – she had slept for only four hours and she needed more. Derek's aura encapsulated her and she snuggled down into the thin cotton sheet for moment longer – her skin pricked with heat, although it had nothing to do with the natural damp humidity of the island, Derek, Derek – she willed him to stay with her in the here and now … in this world here. She let the warm energy cover her like hot water from a shower and she basked in the beauty they once shared – stay with me – she pleaded silently. And he did.

Only then did Meredith fully open her eyes to the day. Her room was brighter, only small short shadows played along her walls, the bright sun peaking through the palm tree outside her window, and then again through the thin filter of the sheer white curtain. She sighed into the space all around her and pushed herself back onto the headboard. She blinked hard, forcing herself back into reality.

She was exhausted, no perhaps fatigued would be a better sounding word. She and Owen had hosted a nighttime clinic the evening before and then headed straight into some trauma work so that by 6 AM Meredith could barely keep her eyes open. She wondered briefly where her stamina had gone, but chalked it up to change because everything was different out here on this island. Villagers were in dire straits – pure survival stuff was the theme – many had nothing left but their family members who had survived along with them, so their fear in losing even more lifelines was tantamount to truly losing everything.

Most could not communicate with them and all of them were scared. Meredith had seen some patients come in with villagers she had treated before, which she and Owen agreed was a good sign … their fear was dissipating and it was slowly being replaced by trust.

Meredith sighed and closed her eyes briefly, she should go back to sleep, she didn't have to be at the clinic for several more hours, she should sleep so she could be of some use, but the dream of Derek had called for her and now for better or for worse she was awake. Her eyes darted along the walls of her room again. She spotted her cell phone on the small desk in the corner and thought to call her voicemail, but mentally dismissed the idea. She swept her eyes to the chair against the wall where some journals, both personal and medical sat, along with the survival guide Alex had given her. She smiled in remembrance, but the smile faltered slightly when she thought about the letter she had given Alex that night. Had Derek read her letter? She sighed resolutely and then her eyes came to rest on the bright and shiny red apple one of the village boys had given her yesterday. It was the most colorful object in her room and it stood out like a jewel or something close to it.

Without thinking, Meredith got out of bed and crossed the room to the desk. She took the apple in her hands, it was clammy to the touch, but hard and smooth, without bruises. She held the apple in her hands for a beat longer, before she grabbed a bottle of water and headed to the sink to wash it. She poured the water over the apple and dried her hands. She took a bite of the crisp apple and smiled, the face of the angel of a boy who gave it to her crowded her mind. She took another bite and crossed the room to get a glimpse of the sky; it was almost cloudless, ideal walking weather.

And on that thought, she decided she would make the short jaunt over to the holy temple before she would make her way to the clinic in the afternoon. She somehow felt that going to the temple and submersing herself in the culture of the people here would forge a greater connection with them and with the deep part of herself she was trying to heal and rejuvenate. She made to ready herself to go and while she did, she took another bite of the apple and secretly relished the idea of enjoying one of Mother Nature's more perfect treats.

***

An hour later Meredith stood outside the entrance gateway of Pura Rambut Siwi. The humid air swallowed her whole and a light breeze moved through the trees all around her, the air smelled sweet and completely invigorating despite the oppressive humidity. She reached inside her bag and switched her cell phone to vibrate. Meredith was wearing a tank top with a light linen long sleeve shirt over the top of that. She had a pair of board shorts on but had just tied a colorful sarong around her waist, remembering the temple etiquette she glossed over in one of her ample travel books.

She looked up and over the stone boundary wall of the temple grounds and from her vantage point; she could see just the very top of the eleven-roofed Meru, which is the tallest shrine within the temple and her point of interest for today. The temple was beautiful and ornate and had stood the test of time; Meredith reached up and ran her finger over the intricate stonework that graced the tower of the temple gate. She once read that every square centimeter of the temple gateway is carved with design and a diminishing series of demon faces adorned the top of the gate to ward off evil spirits. She looked up and saw the demon faces now and a small smile played along her lips. She glanced to the right of the tower gate and spotted a small sign, it read – "Be well-dressed, Be respectful, Be ritually clean" – Meredith read the words – stumbling over the last phrase – making note of her sarong and covered shoulders and passed through the gate and into graceful limelight of the temple.

"Has the sweet breeze blown?"

Once inside, Meredith took a couple of steps into the courtyard area and just turned around and around, slowly, getting her bearings, testing the energy. She felt an inner peace come over her – it gently pummeled her like a soothing back rub – the sun was so bright for the moment, it illuminated the whole area to the point where life literally sprang from every nook and cranny within. She felt a flutter pass over her, the beautiful energy encapsulating her with no intention of letting go. Meredith couldn't describe it if she tried – but for some odd reason, here in this spiritual moment – she felt Derek and she smiled. The temple was relatively empty at the moment, but even if it were crowded, Meredith had the sense that she would be able to find her own spirit here with relative ease.

Meredith stepped through the side gate on her way to her destination. Bright green plant life alternated with intricate shrines and wood-carvings along the walls – more and more demon faces stared back at her – one after the other after the other. Many of the small shrine statues had typical offerings from the early morning – sweet rice and fruit, fragrant flower and burned incense – which left behind a sweet, musty odor. The temple was quite possibly the most beautiful grouping of structures she had ever seen up close and even more so because they were still standing after the tsunami. She shivered to think about what might have been lost here.

Meredith knew that all temples were oriented mountains-sea (not north-south), so that the holiest of the shrines were located in the back of the temple in the direction of the mountains and this was her destination. She wanted to be secluded for a moment in time, just to soak it all in – to rejuvenate, heal, grow – and learn to live without fear in this world in the here and now and embrace it, love it and own it and move forward.

She wanted to let go of her desire to push Derek away. She also wanted to do this in a sacred place so it would mean something to her. She just wanted to accept that Derek was here with her in spirit. She wanted to accept her desire for Derek because she also knew that her time here was bigger than her, or him or even them. In the end, Meredith knew that eventually the time would be perfect for them, Owen's words rolled around her mind and she held on tight to his words because she believed him – in her soul she knew they were meant to be and she didn't really need more confirmation than that – for she was resigned to love Derek forevermore and her deep feelings for him had only grown exponentially with their separation.

Meredith entered the last courtyard now, there was a small ledge of a wall and leaned against it and took it all in. A few villagers and a couple of tourists were facing the shrine, its multi-level roof structure was over-powering, it dwarfed Meredith and she knew that was the point. She looked at the ornate demon faces to her left along the far wall and smiled, they were growing on her and she felt safe and warm and completely at ease to cleanse her spirit. The tourists turned their backs on the shrine and walked away.

She looked up into the sky then; the highest temple roof was outlined by the bright white cloud that hovered above it. She closed her eyes and felt that warm radiant heat pour down over her, she relaxed into it and let herself go, ever so slightly, she relaxed the ties on her soul and she felt like a free-form for a moment in time.

She felt bigger than herself.

She opened her eyes and was stunned by her vision. It was Ketut, the glorious midwife, she was wearing a brightly colored sarong with a traditional selandong (a scarf) tied at her waist. She was even more beautiful here – her serenity of her holy spirit – or maybe her station in life here on the island was evident. The sun peeked through the large white cloud and shone down on her shoulders in wordless adoration. She turned slightly and smiled softly at Meredith. Meredith returned the smile and only then did she approach.

"Hello doctor," she said, her voice melodic, soft. She smiled widely and revealed her perfect rows of perfectly white teeth.

"Hello … Ketut," she replied evenly, saying her name with precision. The woman smiled widely. "I am Meredith, call me Meredith," Meredith said slowly.

"Meri," Ketut said with a smile, she nodded for approval.

"Meri is fine," Meredith answered.

"You are here to look," Ketut surmised, turning to lean against the wall with Meredith.

"I am," Meredith agreed.

"You finish running?" Ketut asked with another smile.

"I think so," Meredith said, her heart raced on Ketut's assumptions.

"Good, happy now?" Ketut asked.

"Yes, very," Meredith answered, her own smile covering her face.

Ketut giggled slightly, she leaned down and took Meredith's hand in hers. "Gentle white hands … gentle brown hands," she teased. "Almost match," she stated with a smile.

"Yes, we do," Meredith said with a laugh.

It was true; she looked down, Ketut's warm brown-skinned hand held on to hers and while there still a slight difference – Meredith had to agree that her skin had indeed become darker – while her hair became lighter with each new day. No matter how much sun screen she applied, her skin was turning brown, she never burned, but her skin tone was becoming that island- almond-brown she loved so very much.

The two women stood side by side together for a beat longer, now the only two people in the courtyard facing the decorative shrine. Peace came over Meredith and she smiled, for this is what she was looking for – just a warm blissful moment like this – one that would restore her faith in her spirituality, it her willingness to give and grown and learn without Derek (even though she was blessed that he was her in spirit).

"Have we eyes to see?"

A light warm wind from the ocean hopped over the temple walls and moved to the back of the temple where they stood. It swirled the sweet, musty air around, moving the leaves of the plant life as it traveled. Ketut turned to Meredith – her eyes wide, gentle, beautiful – without fear, without sadness, but with more wisdom than she could fathom. Meredith froze, but not out of fear – it was something bigger than that and then time stopped and the world as she knew it fell away – Ketut's eyes bore into hers, a sliver of a secret pulsed over her whole face and then she spoke.

"Your baby is blessed," Ketut whispered into the quiet, her eyes never left Meredith's – but her voice was carried into the wind, so much so that Meredith didn't quite hear her – even though she understood what she said.

And even stranger still … utter calm and peace covered Meredith like a protective cloak.

"My baby?" Meredith asked; her voice and heart trembling in unison now.

"The baby you carry," Ketut answered softly.

Meredith's were wide – finally wide enough to see and feel what she knew all along – she looked at Ketut, fastening her eyes on her, she refused to look away.

The world as Meredith knew it stopped spinning and then all was quiet until the wind changed directions and brought with it a new world … a new life.

This was her sign – the small part of Derek, the aura of him was their child – and Meredith knew this without even going to her datebook, without the need to confirm that she never started a new cycle this month.

Meredith knew, as she stood there with her new friend by her side, safely protected within the beautiful calm and peace of the temple.

Meredith knew, as images and sensations from her dreamscapes of Derek flooded every square centimeter of her mind now – mingling with her reality – becoming one once again.

Meredith knew, as a small smile played along her lips as she was swept away for a moment in time.

Meredith knew.

The revelation … they both cared about the tragic beauty that defined them.

Tears pricked her eyes.

Meredith knew.

The small spark of life that ignited deep in her core at the first touch of his lips.

She had no fear.

Meredith knew.

Blissful oblivion … their connection restored forevermore.

She had only love.

Ketut took Meredith's trembling hands her again and moved them to her belly. "There it is, keep your hands here," she instructed.

"Okay," Meredith whispered as the beautiful midwife became blurred around the edges.

And as Meredith stood there with her hands draped protectively around her abdomen, she knew the world as she knew it was finally everything she ever wanted it to be.

She should be scared to trust this, to live this, to survive this twist of fate, but she wasn't – because somewhere deep down, somewhere in the deep recesses of her belly – that small part of 'them' told her not to worry.

She had the sign; now all she needed to do was figure out how to tell Derek and hope against all hope that he would be whole and healed enough to see this sign, to want to take this direction –and when the time was right – that he too would be ready to bask in the small miracle of them.

"Love is gathering."

Chapter 8 to follow.