Sorry for the EXTREMELY long wait….Hopefully I'll keep updating. Thanks for the reviews!
The sound of a young child's laughter resonated throughout the room. The most beautiful sound, her child's laughter. Haley eyed her daughter; the wide smile that lit her innocent face warmed Haley's broken soul. Ally's smile mirrored her own, yet the rest of her face was purely her father. When Ally laughed and smiled, it was like an exact replica of Nathan. It was bittersweet. The loss of Nathan's presence broke Haley's heart every day. But a part of him was with them everyday, through their daughter. Ally was the best thing that they had ever done. The thought that Nathan couldn't see the perfect product of their love strung away what was left of her heart.
Ally's laughter, once again, brought her back into reality. Ally had her father's gift of making Haley feel whole. God, Nathan needed to see his daughter, and hear her beautiful, perfect laugh.
"Mommy, this is so funny! The Brady Bunch has nothing on this show!"
Haley smiled. Justin had purchased the complete 1st season of "Full House". Ally had been introduced to the Tanners and life would never be the same. "Yea, sweetheart, I agree. Tanners are so much cooler than the Bradys."
"Baby Michelle is so cute!" Ally squealed.
Haley lifted the four year old up and gave her a bear hug. "I remember when you were that tiny and cute!" A warmth filled Haley's heart as she pictured her little girl as a baby. As dark as it was back then, Ally's innocence lit up her days. Her maternal instincts kicked into high gear and Haley was going to protect her angel. Haley had figured that she would have found a way back to Nathan in a few months…but five years later, here they were.
"So is daddy like Michelle's daddy?"
Haley smiled sadly at her daughter. She was so young, so innocent. Her world and expectations were based on what she saw in television shows. A world where she can live with her mommy and daddy and play outside with other little boys and girls is like an unreachable dream. Haley wants nothing more than for Ally to have that world.
Ally has this image of what a daddy would be, but that is all it is—an image. It is based on daddys in television shows and the stories that Haley tells her. Nathan is like magical creature in her world, but she cannot comprehend how amazing a daddy would be—especially her daddy. Ally has never heard her daddy laugh… or felt his love. Nathan would have been…will be the best daddy ever. And no matter what it takes, Haley is going reunite her family.
"Actually, daddy is a lot cooler and not so much of a clean freak. Actually I am the clean freak."
Ally giggled. "Yeah, mommy you kind of are. But I still love you."
"I love you too Al. I'm so proud of you."
"Thanks mommy." The little girl replied as her attention once again drifted to the Tanners.
Haley gazed at the screen. Michelle, Stephanie and D.J. were outside laughing with their dad. The look of innocent envy on her daughter's face made her want to cry.
Well, maybe she couldn't fix the no daddy part right now, but it was a beautiful day out and she could give her daughter the therapy of the outdoors.
"So, Nathan. How are you doing today?"
"Just peachy and you?" Nathan responded with obvious sarcasm. He did not want to be here. Stupid Lucas. Stupid Brooke. He did not need a shrink. He did not need a Dr. Diane Downy to talk about emotions and feelings. This was crap. Complete crap.
The older woman smiled gently back at him. Years of counseling has prepared her to deal with people and situations like this. Although quite honestly, Nathan's case is one of hardest that she has dealt with. She has seen the newspapers and television programs that dissected every aspect of this famous basketball player's late wife and daughter. The preventable loss of such a young woman and child was heartbreaking.
Diane hoped to God she could help Nathan sort through some of his troubles and breakthrough the enormous wall that he has built. "Look Nathan, I want to help you. You have been through more in the past five years than anyone should in a lifetime."
"Yeah, that's what I've heard." Nathan sighed. He needs to stop with the sarcasm. This woman didn't force him to come. She is just doing her job. "I'm sorry. My default setting seems to be ass lately. I just don't want to be here." Not here in this office with shrink. Not here dealing with life without Haley.
"Nathan, it is fine. You have every right to be mad and bitter. You have been given a pretty bad hand to deal with. But we do not have to talk about Haley and Ally right now. We can talk about whatever. It is completely up to you."
Nathan sighed. This was a chance to actually work something out. He needed to take it. Maybe Lucas and Brooke were right. Nathan hated it when that happened… "I guess we should talk about my…Haley and Ally. It's hard, but right now I am really messed up. So, I guess you can follow your usual psychiatric method and we'll see what happens."
"Well, alright. If there is ever any question you don't want to answer or any topic that you are uncomfortable with, then let me know." Nathan nodded in response. "Ok, can I have some background on you and Haley? How did you meet? What caused such a young marriage?"
"Justin! Catch the Frisbee!" Ally giggled as she launched the bright green Frisbee into the air."
Haley smiled at her daughter. Playing out in public was a rare occasion and she loved the pure joy on her daughter's face. Surprisingly, it was easy to convince Justin to take them out to a small park up in the center of the small town. Of course, Haley had to wear a disguise. Fortunately, Justin had agreed to let Ally go without. It's not like there were missing posters of Ally out there.
Haley, on the underhand was sporting a short red wig and sunglasses. The shining sun made the sunglasses acceptable and didn't bring unwanted--okay totally wanted-- attention to them.
Haley kept fighting back the urge to take off the sunglasses and wig and scream that she was Haley Scott and had been abducted five years ago. But, a long time ago, Justin had told her the harsh repercussions that would result. Haley had no idea if Justin actually carried a gun with him, but she wasn't about ready to find out.
However, Haley had devised a plan…an extremely rough and half baked plan…but a plan it was. For the past month, she had been doing her best to get on Justin's good side. What this would do, she wasn't sure yet. But it couldn't hurt.
After all you need to keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
She wanted Justin's trust because that would be the key to open some vital information. Like who is responsible for keeping them there. Why are they there?
Maybe she could convince him to work with her. They could find a compromise where Ally and she could leave and Justin could avoid jail. Or Ally and Haley could escape and Justin's ass rots in prison…….both a win win.
Whatever happens, she is going to be smart and cautious with the execution of her plan.
Diane's heart dropped after listening to Nathan's remembrance of his wife. He gave a genuine smile when telling some of their early times. Nathan's adoration of Haley was evident. Haley was the first one to ever believe in him. She undid so much of the damage that his father had done to his self-esteem.
She also learned about Chris Keller. The "poser asshole" –Nathan's words not hers—had taken advantage of Haley back in their junior year of high school and convinced her to leave him. Of course Nathan had been devastated and this incident nearly caused the destruction of their marriage.
"But she came back. She loved me enough to come back to me. She fought for me like no one else ever had. So, of course I took her back. I needed her. My life didn't make sense without her." Nathan paused, breathing it all in. Ironically, he would do anything to have her gone on tour now instead of…what was.
"Haley and I had to work so hard to keep our marriage going. And we did, we ended up stronger and happier than ever before. You know, I promised her that I would always protect her." Nathan laughed sadly. "God, but I didn't that night."
"Nathan. It is common for people to blame themselves for things that are completely out of their control. And Haley's abduction was out of your control."
"Maybe."
"Besides, if what you have said about Haley is true. Then I am positive that she would want you to be happy and not to blame yourself."
"You know, that is what everyone says, but how can I be happy? My wife is dead. It would have been one thing if it happened because of an accident or natural cause. Don't get me wrong that still would have been horrible. But, the way she was killed, with no reason-so callously. I just…" Nathan had to take a breather. "I just don't understand how anyone could be that inhumane. She was pregnant…She was pregnant with our baby."
"There are awful people in this world. Their actions are unexplainable and horrendous. But, Nathan you can't just analyze that night and that horrible man's actions for the rest of your life. You cannot let it consume you."
"I know. But even if I learn to get on with my life. I mean, what is that even? I'm not even sure what that means anymore."
"Nathan, do not take this the wrong way or think that I am disrespecting Haley in any way. But, do you think that there is a chance at dating in your future. Possibly marriage."
"No." Nathan simply said.
"Nathan"
"Look, Haley was the one. Not too sound lame or whatever, but she was my soulmate. My endgame. There's not a chance that I could even fathom dating another girl. It would be a lie."
Dr. Downy realized that Nathan and Haley probably epitomized true love. The saddest thing was that so many people search forever for this… and Nathan and Haley find it so young, and then Haley is taken… There was an awful irony to the situation.
"Well, alright, if you feel strongly about that."
"I do."
Dr. Downy decided to go for a different approach. "I know that you lost your daughter as well and I am very sorry about that."
"Yeah, me too. She would have been amazing." Nathan inwardly sighed. She was his chance to prove that he was a better man than his father.
"You like kids?"
"Yeah, I am really close with my niece Kate. I try to volunteer at youth basketball programs."
"Would you ever consider adopting a child?"
Nathan chuckled. "No, I couldn't. With Ally, Haley and I were going to work together to raise her. Haley would have been an amazing mother, which hopefully would have brought out my paternal instincts. But, on my own, I could never raise a child."
"There is always foster care."
"I know, but without Haley, I just couldn't. I'm happy with babysitting my niece right now."
"Okay, fair enough. You are still young though, so you may change your mind."
Nathan used to think that he would be a good dad. At least that is what Haley always said…but anymore he can barely take care of himself. He would never put a child through that crap. No, he used to be that kid with a horrible father. History was not going to repeat itself.
"Ok. So what are your future plans? Basketball is going well for you."
"My future plans are just to get up and do what I got to do to make it through the day. Hopefully, I'll find a little bit of happiness. I want to make Haley and Ally proud. I want to be a good brother, a good friend, and a good uncle. Haley always pushed me to follow my dreams and that was always basketball. A little while ago, I was considering quitting. It just didn't feel worth it. Not without them."
"Nathan, they are always with you. And I think that Haley would be so proud of you in your career and in your relationships. It is obvious that you care for your brother, mom, friends, and niece."
Nathan held back his emotions. It had been awhile since he felt worthy. Five years…actually.
"Thanks. That actually means a lot. But yeah I am going to keep playing basketball. Why should I ruin one of the good things I have left?"
"That is great Nathan. Well it is the end of this session. I hope that you feel we made a little headway."
"Yeah, actually, just talking through some things really helped. Lucas always tries to talk with me. But, it is easier with a stranger."
"Well, I know that we have more sessions scheduled, so I hope that even more progress will be made."
"Thanks, appreciate it Dr. Downy."