Disclaimer: I do not claim to own the characters from Bad Girls, they are the property of Shed Productions with the exception of Laura Gossard who is completely fictional from my own head, innit. They are used here without permission, purely for entertainment purposes, not profit.
Copyright: Copyright of this piece belongs to Liz Mulligan. Please do not reproduce it without permission.
As this is my first attempt at writing a BG-based story, I would be grateful of any feedback.
E-mail me: liz_
Shit Happens - Chapter Fourteen
Nikki was led to the dock after a desperate, clingy hug, both reluctant to let go for what might be the last time. She could not take her eyes off Helen as the court awaited the arrival of the Judge. When they were instructed to rise, she turned to face the front of the court, her face unable to mask the terror she felt. The judge was impressed immediately by how contrite she looked, not like the cocky young woman her files had made her out to be. The court was seated and the re-trial began.
G-Wing was full of whispers about the re-trial and Nikki's chances. Most of the women knew that even if Nikki was sent back to prison, it would be unlikely that she would return to Larkhall after all that had happened, especially seeing as some of Laura's cronies were still there baring grudges. There was also a buzz going around about the sudden disappearance of Mr McAllister. He had returned from his holiday in Spain but had only reported for duty once before seeming to disappear into the night. There was no sign of him at his house and no one seemed to have any idea of anywhere else he would be. The two Julies, ever romantics, were speculating about him having got his rocks off with some bird on holiday and that he had decided he couldn't possibly live without her. Di Barker overheard their conversation and seemed to be more than a little perturbed by their imaginings. She ushered them to move along, chivvying them along with their cleaning duties. She too was pondering on the causes for Dominic's sudden departure. He had been fine when she went round to see him the night after he got back from Spain and he had reported for duty the next day, although he had been a bit quiet. He said nothing as he left after his shift was over. The Julies scuttled off to see if they could find the new sexpot on the wing, the officer transferred from C-Wing to cover for Mr McAllister's temporary absence.
Nikki sat in the dock watching Claire make her opening argument, outlining the case for the defence. She was a formidable woman, who Nikki decided she would not like to have against her. She found she had to force herself not to look round at Helen constantly and tried desperately to concentrate on what was being said. Helen too was having difficulty focusing on the evidence being presented. All she could think of was what she and Nikki would do together once this was all over. It never entered into her thoughts that Nikki would not be coming home with her. She truly believed that they would not have allowed her out under any circumstances if they thought she was a danger to anyone or that she would do a runner. She was roused from her reverie as she suddenly realised Nikki was being called to the witness stand to testify. For the first time since the re-trial had begun, Nikki's eyes searched out Helen's. She was rewarded with a reassuring smile that made her heart swell with pride. Nikki forced herself to look away, concentrating on the questions she was being asked. Claire had gone over her evidence with her thoroughly, and Nikki was appreciative of finally being given the chance to tell her side of the story officially. She was careful to avoid sounding bitter about the events leading up to DC Gossard's death and said that she truly regretted what had happened, but that she had acted on basic instincts when her lover was threatened. When it was the prosecution's turn to cross-examine, Nikki was prepared for any questions he threw at her.
"Miss Wade, can you be sure that those same basic instincts you spoke of will not surface again if confronted by a similar situation?"
"Yes." Nikki decided not to elaborate unless she was pushed to do so.
"How can you be sure? Are you saying that if someone were to attack your lover again, you would not do the same in order to protect them?"
"I would do whatever I had to do to protect someone I cared deeply about, but I realise that violence is not a way of solving problems." Nikki spoke quickly to prevent the prosecution's barrister from cutting her off.
"Are you saying that you would never turn to violence again?"
"I can't say that I can see a reason why I would choose to, no."
"How can you be so sure?"
Before Nikki realised what she was saying, the words tumbled out of her mouth. "Because I have been placed in that very same situation, where my lover had been sexually assaulted by someone and I chose to inform a person in authority, rather than seek revenge myself, despite knowing and disliking the perpetrator." As she finished statement, she flicked an apologetic glance over to where Helen was sitting. Helen's head was bowed, her shoulder's beginning to shake. Nikki had to stop herself from calling out as Helen rose to leave the courtroom. She prayed for all she was worth that she would get the chance to apologise to Helen for dragging her ordeal into this. The cross examination seemed to last an eternity until Nikki was finally allowed to step down and retake her place in the dock. As she did so, she noticed a clerk open one of the doors and usher Helen back inside. She refused to make eye contact with Nikki as she retook her seat at the back of the room. No sooner had Nikki reached the dock, than the court decided to break for lunch. Nikki waited to be allowed down from the dock, so that she could go and talk to Helen. Claire came over to her, her face solemn and serious.
"Nikki, I'm afraid they're going to have to take you down to the cells during the recess. The order, which allowed you to be free as long as you wore the tag, was revoked this morning. It's been decided that for the duration of your re-trial, you have to remain in custody. I'm really sorry, I should have warned you. I'll come down to the cell in a minute and explain."
"Can I see Helen?" She felt as though she had been punched in the stomach, that all the air had deserted her lungs leaving her struggling for breath as Claire slowly shook her head.
"I'll go and explain to her now and then I'll be down to see you." Nikki was led away desperately craning her neck to catch a glimpse of her lover before she disappeared down the steps from the dock to the cells below. She saw Helen watch in confusion, pain and tears evident in her eyes. Helen saw her pain and fear mirrored in Nikki's eyes as she was led away and she turned her attention to Claire as Nikki disappeared from view.
"What's going on?" Helen's desperation was evident in her voice. She felt the urge to grab someone and shake them to make them see Nikki was better off with her, not locked away.
"I'm sorry, Helen. It's out of my hands. The curfew order and the electronic tagging were only ever meant to be temporary. They were revoked this morning at the request of the prosecution. The court it would seem agreed that they cannot be seen to be allowing someone on trial for murder to go free every night. It's in her best interests, too. If Nikki's free during the trial, there maybe the suggestion that she interfered with the jury or they may try to contact her."
"And you didn't think to warn us of this possibility? Can I at least see her? She's going to think I hate her for what she said in the witness stand, I need to make her see it just caught me off guard. I need her to know I'm not angry."
"I'm sorry it's not possible. I can pass on a message to her if you want me to."
"Tell her, not to worry about me. I love her and I understand why she had to say what she did. Let her know I'm glad I could help her prove she won't do it again."
Claire nodded and walked off to the cells. She paused turning to Helen again and saying, "you do realise she's not going to be coming home with you tonight don't you?" Lips trembling, Helen nodded and walked off towards the car, watched by the same man as when they had arrived at the courthouse.
Nikki paced up and down the tiny cell. It was even smaller than she had remembered them to be. She sat nervously at the table as the door was unlocked and Claire was shown inside.
"So what now?" Nikki was defensive again and Claire could see from her body language there was a lot of pent up aggression. She just hoped that she could control it when she had heard the full extent of her predicament.
"Now you have lunch and calm down before we go back in. We're doing well in there Nikki. You did brilliantly in the witness stand, I couldn't have asked for anything more."
"So why the hell am I down here? Why am I a danger to the public again all of a sudden, what's changed?"
"I should have warned you before but I really didn't think the prosecution would push for the orders to be revoked. The court thinks it would make them look bad if someone on trial for murder is free to go home at night." She reiterated what she had said to Helen moments earlier.
"So it's alright for me to be out when I'm not on trial, but put me in a courtroom and I'm suddenly going to pounce on every unsuspecting person when I leave. I don't think I'll ever understand the British Justice System." Nikki stood and turned away before asking how Helen had been.
"She sent a message. Said to tell you she loves you and understands why you said what you did. She said she's glad she could help you prove you weren't capable of doing it again." She was about to add how upset Helen had been, but decided Nikki did not need to hear it.
The lunch break seemed to drag as Helen sat in her car trying to comprehend going home without Nikki. It wouldn't seem like her home anymore. Although she had only lived with Nikki for one month, it felt so right she could not imagine going back to living on her own. That thought also scared Helen, fears about attacks and vulnerability coming back to haunt her.
Nikki paced the floor chain-smoking her way through a full packet of cigarettes she'd conned out of Claire during the lunch break. Her mind was working overtime, trying to figure to how she would cope with being back in a cell overnight, unable to reach Helen. A plate of food remained mostly untouched as Nikki's insides were too churned up to think about eating.
Karen Betts sat in her office working her way through the paperwork for that day's arrivals. She scanned down the list for any familiar names and stopped as she saw Nikki Wade's name towards the bottom of the list. She had realised that the re-trial would be soon but had expected her to be held at a different prison for its duration. But then, she reasoned, Larkhall was the most convenient for the court. She made a mental note to greet the van herself, to make sure Nikki was alright. She imagined her reaction to having her freedom with Helen removed and groaned hoping she would not do anything stupid. 'But then she's had a taste of what she stands to lose', Karen thought to herself. Nikki may be hot-headed at times, but she was not stupid or self-destructive.
Nikki heard a key in the lock of her temporary accommodation and looked towards the door expectantly. Claire stepped through, carrying Nikki's holdall having retrieved it from Helen. They sat at the small table, going over details of the incident, making sure Nikki knew what was going to happen and why Claire was going to be asking certain questions of the other witnesses. Then it was time to go back up to the courtroom.
Helen walked the short distance from the car to the courthouse steps before stopping at the sound of her name being called. She turned round to see Dominic jogging up behind her.
"What are you doing here? Are you not working today?" Helen could not believe he was there or work out why.
"I thought you and Nikki might need some moral support. I'm not going back to work, too many bad memories and Di's seriously beginning to freak me out. She's nice and everything but it's getting a bit like a bunny boiler job!" Despite herself, Helen laughed at Dominic's description of Di Barker.
"It's a shame. The Prison Service could really use someone like you in it."
"Yeah, you too. I've no doubt something will turn up. How did things go this morning? I didn't get here 'til about half an hour ago. Where's Nikki?"
Helen felt tears burn her eyes and a lump forming in her throat. "They decided she has to go back to prison during the trial. They've taken her to a cell." Dominic saw how upset she was and put his hand on her shoulder to comfort her. Helen moved forward, leaning against his chest crying as she felt his arms wrap around. Dominic realised that she was probably wishing it was Nikki holding her, but was just grateful of the chance to have her in his arms. After a moment he checked his watch and suggested they had better make a move. Helen wiped her eyes and kissed Dominic on the cheek, thanking him for being so supportive. He kept his distance physically as they entered the courtroom, knowing Nikki would go mad if she got jealous and he would never be forgiven by Helen if his presence caused Nikki to jeopardise her chances. So he was content to sit beside Helen, squeezing her hand just once after they sat down.
Nikki's gaze found Helen as she stepped into the dock again. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw who was sitting next to her lover. She could feel irritation and jealousy rising in her, but forced herself not to think about it. Helen had proved on many occasions how much she loved Nikki. Since saying it aloud for the first time, Nikki had barely been able to stop Helen from telling her she loved her constantly. But she couldn't help but notice how close Dominic was sitting.
Dominic found himself under close scrutiny from Nikki and he thought the best way to deal with would be to smile at her. He did so and held up his fingers which he had crossed to indicate he hoped everything went well for her.
'Tosser,' Nikki thought. 'What's that supposed to mean? Good luck to me or I hope you get banged up again so I can take over with Helen?' Nikki hated herself for having such thoughts. Maybe he had genuinely come to offer her moral support. She forced herself to smile back, switching her gaze to Helen's face. She could tell she had been crying, even from this distance. How she longed to hold her in her arms again and make it all OK.
Helen looked at Nikki's face, watching the silent battle with her emotions going on, clearly visible. She mouthed three words to Nikki just before the judge returned and Nikki had to turn away. Nikki's lingering image of Helen was of her mouthing 'I love you,' to her. Her fears abated, she turned to the front of the courtroom and stood ready for the judge's return.
The rest of the day's proceedings passed by in a blur. All Nikki could think about was the fact that she wouldn't be going home with Helen at the end of the day. Although they had made the morning special in case of this happening, neither of them had truly expected it would. It did not even occur to her that she would be returning to Larkhall. When the judge decided they had heard enough for one day, Nikki's defence team had only one remaining witness, Mrs Gossard. The two WPC's who were testifying had both been very clear and precise in giving their evidence, but Nikki was beginning to think it was hopeless. Under cross examination, holes had appeared in their stories, small inconsistencies but significant all the same and it was enough she felt to undermine their testimony. At the end of the day's proceedings, she was led away to the cells underneath the court to await transfer to a prison. Claire made her way down there too after speaking briefly to Helen.
Dominic walked back to Helen's car with her. He could sense she was upset and asked if she wanted to go for something to eat. She agreed, wanting to put off going home to an empty house again, although she warned him she would not be very good company. He simply smiled and climbed into the passenger seat of her car.
Nikki was slumped on the bench when Claire entered the cell, looking as if she had already been tried found guilty and sentenced to another 20 years in prison.
"It's not that bad Nikki. We still have Mrs Gossard's testimony tomorrow."
"Yeah, but the fact still remains that I killed him. Just because he was a bastard doesn't mean I should have done that. You can produce as many witnesses as you like to say that he was cruel, but it's not going to help is it? Be honest, we're grasping at straws aren't we?"
"Nikki, you always knew it was going to be difficult. We have to remain positive. They wouldn't have let you out to await trial if they were going to dismiss it out of hand."
"Thanks Claire you've just answered my question for me without even trying." Claire was shaken by how badly the day had affected Nikki's confidence. Before, she had been quite optimistic about her chances, but now she seemed to be giving up hope.
Before either of them could say anything further, the door swung open and a security guard informed them the van was ready to take Nikki to Larkhall for the night. She sighed, grabbing her belongings and picking up her suit jacket from the back of the chair and followed the guard out, nodding to acknowledge Claire's 'See you tomorrow.'
As the van drove away from the courthouse, Helen parked outside the restaurant suddenly feeling very guilty about what she was doing. Nikki would be at this very moment heading back to a lonely cramped prison cell and here she was about to dine out with a man she knew had feelings for her. She was about to take a rain check, when Dominic ushered her inside and the maitre d' pounced on them showing them to a secluded table. He looked appreciatively at Helen before smiling at Dominic and pulling out a chair for Helen to sit on. Dominic blushed as he realised they had been mistaken for a couple, but secretly enjoyed the thought of playing along with the charade. The lights were low and a candle was burning slowly in the centre of their table. Helen felt uncomfortable, but did not have the nerve to get up and walk out now they were seated, so she took the menu offered to her. Dominic sensed her tension and smiled at her apologetically.
"If I'd known it had gone so slushy I wouldn't have suggested here." He hoped she could not tell he was lying.
"It's OK. I just feel a bit like a goldfish. The staff are practically tripping over themselves to get a look at us."
"Must be a slow evening." The waiter arrived to take their drinks orders and was disappointed when they agreed on a jug of iced water.
Nikki bounced about in the back of the transport van, hands placed flat against the walls to avoid bumping too much. After one final heave, the van finally settled in the forecourt of Larkhall Prison. The guard was surprised to see the Governor of G-Wing awaiting their arrival.
"Unload this lot first, leave her until the last. I want to speak to her. I can do that while the others are being processed." Karen indicated to Nikki's name on the list. The guard nodded and set about unlocking the other doors. Nikki heard him walk past her door and was about to start shouting the odds when a familiar voice said, "Don't worry Nikki, we haven't forgotten you. I just thought you might appreciate it being a bit quieter when we let you out." Nikki sat back and waited while the rest of the new arrivals were taken off and then stayed seated when her door was finally opened.
"I just couldn't keep away from the place." Nikki's voice broke as she struggled to stop the tears burning her eyes from coursing down her cheeks. Karen could see she had been crying for most of the journey, her eyes were red and puffy, dark spots on her crisp suit jacket.
"Come on, let's get you inside." Karen put an arm around Nikki's shoulders as she walked in through the door with her. The difference she saw in Nikki was remarkable as she walked with her head down and shoulders slumped forward. She looked to Karen for all the world like someone who had given up any hope of ever seeing the outside of a prison ever again and she guessed that the first day had not been a success. She decided not to ask Nikki about it thinking it would be too painful. Karen stayed while Nikki was processed and then made sure she was the first to be searched.
Helen found that once she got over the awkwardness of the situation, she actually enjoyed the evening. Dominic's company kept her mind occupied as he talked of his plans for the future. The food was fantastic and she vowed to bring Nikki here to celebrate when she was released. Helen suddenly realised that it was more likely to be if she was released and it sobered her mood. They had both finished eating and had been sitting chatting for a lengthy spell, so she decided that it would not be untoward of her to suggest making a move. Dominic hid his disappointment well. He had been enjoying the evening immensely and was sorry it had to come to an end, but he understood Helen was still upset about Nikki. As they walked to the car, Helen turned to him.
"I'll drop you home. You'll have to give me directions."
"There's no need, I'll get a taxi or you can drop me off at the bus stop."
"Nonsense, I'm not tired and it's the least I can do to thank you for being so understanding and for the moral support today." They climbed into the car and Dominic directed Helen to the end of his road. She turned in and waited for him to point out which one was his, driving slowly so she did not miss it. Pulling up outside, she thanked him again for a pleasant evening.
"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow? I think Nikki's going to need all the friends she can get, she looked really down this afternoon."
"I know she'd appreciate it, I certainly would." Dominic felt emboldened by this statement.
"Would you like to come in for a coffee or something?" Helen was tempted. Anything to avoid going home alone.
"Better not. Early start in the morning and it's getting late. Besides I want to get back in case they let Nikki phone. I don't want to miss her."
"Sure, I understand. See you tomorrow then."
"I'll pick you up, if you like. Save you the bus fare."
"Great thanks." He climbed from the car and waved her off as she called goodnight. 'Yeah 'night gorgeous,' he muttered to himself unaware he was being watched by Di Barker from the shadows across the road.
Nikki was led to a segregation cell which would be her home for the night. Karen stepped into the cell behind her, apologising for the lack of storage space. "We'll see if we can't get you a bed on the wing tomorrow. I had no idea they would be putting you back in here."
"Neither did I. Can I use the phone?"
"I'm sorry Nikki, it's past lock-up, you know the rules." Nikki nodded and began to empty her holdall until she found what she was looking for. Karen stepped silently from the cell as Nikki gazed longingly at her photograph of Helen. As she locked the door, Karen heard Nikki give way to the tears that had threatened so often since she had arrived back. Walking to the officer on duty, she instructed him to keep an eye on Nikki. "I want her on suicide watch, just in case she tries anything."
To Be Continued…