Before He Cheats

And baby, next time he'll think, before he cheats.

Anti UraSoi (Song/Pairing requested by Devil'sEyeAlchemist13)

Soi Fon walked through a parking lot next to a popular local bar, her friend Rangiku trailing close behind.

"Are you sure we should do this?" She said, looking around for camera's and finding only one that pointed to the small booth that took the cash.
"I'm positive. What better way to get back at someone for killing something I love, my heart, by killing something he loves, his car?" She said, repositioning the large, black, duffle bag perched on her shoulder.
"I don't know how to answer that." Rangiku replied.
"Then shut up and help me find the damn car." Soi Fon said sharply, a her voice angry, but really cloaking the pain of the inevitable breakup. Once the car was wrecked, it'd be over for her and Kisuke. Forever. There was NO chance of her getting him back after she did this.
"Is that it?" Rangiku said, pointing to a car in the middle of the dimly lit parking lot.
"Yup." Soi Fon said, walking over to it with a devious smile plastered across her face. She remembered how much time he'd spent making his car this awesome. She remembered how many dates he'd canceled to go buy parts for his fucking car.
Soi Fon set down the duffle bag and tossed Rangiku a set of keys before picking up a baseball bat.

"What are these for? Are these the keys to the car?! Are we going to ram it into a tree?! I've always wanted to do that!" She asked.
"You are going to key the outside of the body and put x's on all of the windows so I can get in. And as much fun as that would be, the car has to stay in the lot." She said, walking to the front of the car and setting herself up like a baseball player. Her brow furrowed and she took a swing, smashing one of the headlights. She repeated this process and thought briefly about running, as the car alarm had started to go off. She quickly pulled out a small box and pushed the button, immediately quieting the car.
"I put x's on all the windows, and I'm starting to key the side." Rangiku said, tapping the back windshield with one of the keys. Soi Fon
smiled and set herself back up. Her mind flashed back to her first kiss with Kisuke, sitting in the backseat of the car, but then she thought about what was going on inside that bar.
"So what do you think's going on?" Rangiku asked between slashes. Soi Fon frowned.
"Well, I don't know much for sure, but he's got a girl. Kisuke can't live without his bitch. I would know, that used to be me." She said before taking the bat and smashing it on the back windshield. Glass went everywhere and she said,
"I could never get in and out this way." She broke all of the other windows before reaching into one and pushing the button that unlocked the doors. She opened the door and looked around. Soi Fon was etched on the leather seats. She looked at the seven thousand dollar stereo system and smiled.
"The sides are all keyed!" Rangiku call from outside.
"Why isn't the car alarm going off?"
"Because I turned it off," Soi Fon replied.
"Now slash holes in all of the tires and take the spray paint and write, "think before you cheat" on the sides of the car." Rangiku nodded. She ruffled around in the duffle bag until she found a can of white spray paint.

"This'll ruin the paint job! It's got acids in it!"
"I tried to find the most acidic one in the store. It's the kind you use to make long lasting graffiti." Soi Fon called from inside, opening her door.
"You might wanna back up. There's going to be some sparks here." She said, reeling back the bat and smashing it down on the stereo system. Sparks went everywhere and Soi Fon jumped out of the car and was back on her feet in seconds.
"And he said spending two weeks volunteering for a "spy camp" was stupid." She said with a laugh. She cracked down on the stereo a few more times and said,
"Alright Rangiku, are you done?"
"I think so."
"Then let's leave." She said, taking her keys from Rangiku and putting the bat back in the duffle bag.
"Can we get something to drink?"
"Sure. But at a different bar." Rangiku groaned, stood up, walked over to her friend and dropped in the empty can. Soi Fon pulled the bag on her shoulder and started walking. Rangiku trudged behind her, the only think keeping her going was the drink her friend had promised.

§THREE HOURS LATER§

Kisuke Urahara stumbled out of the bar with Yoruichi Shihouin. Both were completely drunk, but her house was only two blocks away and Urahara wanted his car. They walked into the parking lot and looked around for the car.
"I parked *hic* it over here." He said, walking to... His completely destroyed car.
"M-my car!" He screamed. "What happened to my car?!"

So, how was it? ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!