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Garrus and Kaidan sat together at the mess table, their worry and anxiety heightening with every moment. It was very early in the morning at 0400 hours, and there was no sign of Shepard. The two of them had both fallen asleep outside her cabin to ensure nobody goes in and she doesn't come out. Apparently the second part of that plan hadn't worked out so well. Garrus, who had awoken first, decided to check on her, only to find that she had disappeared without a trace. The only means of escape she could have used were the ducts, and after many threats they had finally gotten Joker to admit she had left late last night. Garrus desperately wanted to search for her but had no real clues on where to begin. Instead, they decided to wait it out a few more hours. And that's when they heard Joker.
"Hey guys, the Commander is on her way down."
"Thanks Joker," Kaidan replied. He released a discontented sigh. He wasn't prepared for how this was going to play out. Kaidan knew well enough not to question Shepard's personal decisions. Sure, he didn't agree with her leaving, and it most certainly worried him. But he wasn't at the liberty to tell her what to do. Garrus, on the other hand, had a different opinion. The turian was clearly both troubled and irate. He could tell Garrus had no intention of holding back. He also knew Shepard would not simply stand around and take a reprimand.
When Shepard reached the floor, her initial intention was to sneak by and into her quarters, avoiding confrontation. However, she was quickly spotted as if her arrival was expected. Damn Joker! She turned to find Garrus staring at her, his expression quickly turning from relief to rage. Growling low in his throat, he stalked up to her and grabbed her roughly by the shoulders. Staring into her eyes he could see an unreadable emotion hidden behind her cool exterior.
"I can smell his taint all over you," he snarled. "Why?"
She narrowed her eyes in challenge. She didn't have to ask how he knew it was the Councilor she had been with. Turians could easily identify people by scent. But the fact that he would be so bothered by her actions left her livid. "What do you care?" she spat, wrenching herself from his strong grip.
His mouth opened to respond but no sound came out. He could see shame in her eyes as she stared back at him, but the stony expression on her face didn't falter. Despite the effects of the Hallex, he couldn't believe she would go to the Councilor. In a way, he had hoped that last night's encounter in her quarters, may have meant something. That she wanted him wasn't just due to the drug. He knew of her attraction to turians, but whether or not she wanted him was still a mystery. And the idea of her sleeping with Valern filled him with an unexplainable rage.
Kaidan finally regained his composure enough to step forward, concern present in his eyes. "What's going on Commander? What's Garrus talking about?"
Shepard felt the fury building up inside her. Who did they think they were to challenge her personal decisions? She was single. It was nobody's business but her own who she slept with. "Apparently Garrus disapproves of my sex life." When he continued to stare at her blankly, the conversation still lost on him, she reiterated, "I fucked the turian Councilor, Kaidan."
Kaidan peered back at her, slack-jawed. He wasn't sure what to think, let alone how to respond, so he chose to remain silent.
"I shouldn't have to explain myself, but I didn't have too many other choices," she continued. "The effects of the drug were too much to handle and I was losing it. In the state I was in, there was no knowing what I would do, maybe to one of you."
"So you chose the Councilor…" Garrus growled. He had to force himself from adding "over me" to the end of that statement. He wasn't certain why a part of him may have thought she might have wanted him. He was merely a young and inexperienced ex-C-Sec officer, not a Councilor, or a Spectre. If she wanted experience and power, she wasn't going to find it in him. The realization stung, and it struck him to the point of where he wasn't sure what else to say. He knew he was overreacting but he couldn't help it. So many emotions stirred within him that he needed time to sort them out.
"Well, I'm glad you made it back safely," he said through clenched teeth before walking away from her.
Shepard spent the rest of the day making preparations for departure and ensuring that every crew member was safely aboard. It provided to be a decent distraction from the many other concerns that were weighing down on her. Those concerns were mainly pertaining to Garrus, whom she hadn't seen since that morning. As the day wore on, it was looking as if she may be required to swallow her pride and seek him out for a talk. She still didn't understand why he reacted the way he did. She did understand that he was concerned for her safety, but he seemed more angered by the fact that she had slept with the Councilor. Sure, Valern was a conceited ass, but that's why she chose him. He would accept her sexual advances, give her the release she needed with no strings attached; or so she had originally thought. His reaction had been a bit different from what she had anticipated, but it wasn't anything she couldn't handle.
She pored over the reports that the asari Councilor had forwarded her, regarding Noveria. According to the reports, Matriarch Benezia had been spotted in the area. As that's where there next destination was projected, this came as quite the pleasant surprise. Suddenly, she heard a knock at her door. "Come in," she announced.
The door slid open, revealing a rather disgruntled-looking turian. "Shepard…" he started hesitantly. "Sorry to bother you, but I wanted to apologize for the way I acted earlier." He stepped in further, allowing the door to slide shut behind him.
Shepard rose from her datapad, standing face-to-face with him. "Garrus, you don't have to apologize. Wrex told me you and Kaidan spent the night standing guard outside my cabin. You were trying to keep me safe and I snuck out, without any regard for you. I betrayed your trust, Garrus, and I'm sorry."
Garrus moved forward until he was only inches away. He took in her scent. It smelled of earth flowers mixed with a scent that was just… her. The Councilor's scent still lingered, but hers overpowered it, distracting him from its presence. Her scent calmed him. It made him feel safe and secure. He wanted to embrace her; wanted to bathe in that scent. But he held back.
She looked away, distraught. "It's a scary feeling you know… not being in control. You do things that shame you. That night, on the Presidium, I wasn't in control." She paused, thinking of how to continue without sounding overly sappy. She looked up at him, her eyes expressing an overwhelming sense of gratitude. "Two random acts of kindness from a stranger brought me back to myself. And for that I'm grateful to you."
"Shepard…" At this point, he could no longer hold back his need, if not for himself, then for her. Right now she needed comfort, to know that someone was here for her. She needed someone to see her as a woman, not as a Commander. And he wanted to be the one to do that for her. Enveloping her in his arms, he pulled her close into a secure embrace. At first she was stiff and ridged as he held her, but she quickly relaxed into him, laying her head against his chest.
"Thank you, Garrus," she murmured.
"Anytime Shepard." She could feel his deep voice vibrate in his chest when he spoke, comforting against the side of her face.
"In the door! Move, move, move!" The squad sprinted into the next room, the door sliding shut behind them. One of the creatures took a leap, wedging itself in the door before it could completely close behind them. A shot rang out behind Shepard and her squad, blasting the beast directly in the head, its blood splattering over the metal door. Shepard wasted no time and kicked the thing with all the force she could muster until its body fell back into the previous room. The door finally shut.
"Boy, am I glad to see people in this hellhole… kinda."
"If those damn things keep sneaking in here, we're gonna run out of ammo," the defending squad leader said. "Who are you people anyway?"
"I'm a Spectre, and I'm here to help."
"Well I'm not usually one to look an armed horse in the mouth," he said. "I'm Captain Ventralis."
"Any more survivors?"
"Some of the science team. Most are sick, injured, or dead."
"Where did those things come from?" she asked, referring to the alien creatures.
The Captain shrugged. "They overran the hot labs last week. The board sent in an asari to clean up the mess. She hasn't returned since."
"Benezia," Liara murmured.
"We're going to the hot labs then," Shepard stated.
"Good luck with that. I wouldn't be sending my team down there. It's dangerous enough up here," Ventralis commented.
"Yeah well, some of us have to do our jobs," Shepard stabbed. "Let's move out!" She turned, completely ignoring the scowl she was now receiving from the Captain.
Hours later, they had finally escaped the issues surrounding the survivors. As usual, Shepard's team played the heroes; killing the asari infiltrator who was actually Benezia's follower, finding cures for the ill… all in a good day's work. As a reward for their effort, the doctor was compliant enough to provide them with his access card so they could bypass the main route to the labs by exiting through maintenance. The back route from maintenance to the labs, was bitter cold, the tunnel walls being thoroughly encased in ice. She was glad she had decided against bringing Garrus on this mission. Turians were much less resilient against the cold than krograns, so Wrex proved the better choice. Plus, this way, she wouldn't have to listen to his whining about how she handled the Mako as they traveled through the rough, icy terrain of Noveria.
Finally, after working their way through the winding tunnels, they had reached the labs, however nothing would prepare them for what they would find within. As they entered, they were met with the hateful gaze of the asari Matriarch, Benezia. Looking to the middle of the room's expanse, they could make out a rather large glass containment unit. Within it was a colossal version of the aliens that had been overrunning the station.
"Commander Shepard," Benezia's deep, calm voice echoed through the open area. "I knew you would come."
Shepard scoffed. "Did you see that in your crystal ball, or do you always dress like that?" she mocked, referring to the asari's rather dark taste in garb and the dreadful headpiece she wore upon her head.
Benezia regarded the Commander with distaste. "Saren failed to mention your wit, human."
Shepard shrugged. "It's hit or miss. And that was just too easy." When the asari's eyes narrowed dangerously, she continued. "By the way, I don't know what kind of voodoo you're playing in here, but there's a bunch of miniature versions of that thing killing everyone on the station. Just sayin'."
"You do not know the privilege of being a mother," the Matriarch hissed, turning to gaze thoughtfully at the encased creature.
"This coming from the paragon of all mothers," Shepard remarked.
"There is power in creation. To shape a life; turn it toward happiness or despair. Her children were to be ours, raised to hunt and slay Saren's enemies."
"You were raised by this?" she asked Liara. The young asari, not knowing how to respond, facepalmed in embarrassment. Wrex could barely stifle a deep laugh.
Benezia raised her chin in the air and narrowed her cold dark eyes as she turned to regard her daughter. "I will not be moved by sympathy, no matter who you bring into this confrontation," she stated, her voice undeniably lacking in emotion.
"Obviously…" Something about this woman irked her and it caused the Shepard Troll to arise from within.
"Have you ever faced an asari commando unit before? Few humans have."
"Quite often actually. But only after breakfast."
"I didn't get breakfast," Wrex grunted from behind Shepard. "Does that mean I can sit this one out?"
Liara shrugged.
"Silence!" Benezia shouted furiously, a purple-blue glow beginning to wash over her body.
"Now you did it, Shepard," Wrex commented.
Liara gasped. Groups of asari commandos and geth began to trickle into the room from side entrances, surrounding them on both sides. "Hostiles incoming!"
Ducking behind the crates that were stacked near the entryway, Shepard ordered Liara and Wrex to fire upon the incoming wave while she would take the occasional shot at Benezia, who strategically positioned herself on a platform, only accessible from the other side of the room. The wave of geth and asari commandos proved to be difficult to whittle down, and the Matriarch's barrier held strong. Shepard used her sniper to pick off the last of the commandos before directing her squad to press forth to the next corner of the room. As they reached the next pile of crates, another wave, even larger than the last, poured into the area.
"Looks like we may be here a while," Shepard commented grimly.
After defeating several waves of asari and geth, the team finally made it to the platform where Benezia held ground. She appeared much weaker than she had in the beginning of the fight. She was losing power. This was their shot.
"Quick! Her power level is down!" Liara shouted.
"Got it!" The painful blue glow that Shepard dreaded, shot forth from her hand, consuming the asari Matriarch in its brilliance. She was lifted nearly twenty feet into the air weightlessly and then dropped as if all the gravity that had released her came barreling back tenfold. Still alive, however, she crawled to the containment unit's console and leaned her back against it wearily.
"You will never stop Saren," she declared weakly. "You…" the Matriarch trailed off, hesitantly. The coldness of her dark eyes seemed to warm over as if the life was forcing its way back into them. She seemed different somehow, almost as if she was more at peace.
"Tell us where Saren is headed next," Shepard demanded.
"Saren…" Benezia's eyes filled with distress and then hope. "He sent me here to gather information on the Mu Relay. He feels it will lead him to the Conduit."
"Someone here knows about it?" Shepard pressed for more information.
"In a way… yes." Benezia admitted. "Two-thousand years ago the rachni discovered the location of the Relay. The rachni can share memories across generations. Queens inherit the knowledge of their mothers. I took the location of the Relay from the queen's mind." She bowed her head regretfully. "I was not gentle…"
"You must listen," she continued, raising her head. "Saren is not the real threat. He is being manipulated by the Reaper, Sovereign, just as I had been. It captivates you, bends you to its will. It cannot be escaped… Even now I feel it fighting to regain control."
"Mother, please fight it!" Liara pleaded.
"I would little wing, but the indoctrination is too strong. The only escape for me is death." Liara lowered her head in defeat, and the Matriarch turned her gaze to Shepard. "Saren still loves you, Shepard. Perhaps there is still a chance for you to save him from this madness."
Wrex and Liara were without words at the unfolding of this new piece of information. They glanced at one another knowingly. Out of respect they wouldn't push for more… yet.
Shepard didn't respond to the Matriarch's words. She didn't know how to. Whether Saren had done it entirely against his own will or not, he murdered Nihlus, and right now forgiveness was the last thing on her mind. She wasn't sure she wanted to save him if she could. She wanted the part of him that had torn her life asunder, to suffer by her hand. If he wasn't guilty, there would be no revenge, and that currently wasn't something she could fathom.
Benezia groaned in pain. "I cannot hold it back any longer. Please, you must destroy me before I regenerate power."
Shepard hesitated, unsure of how Liara would react if she were to end her mother's life right now. Before she could sort out the options, a purple-blue glow waved over the Matriarch's body as she was lifted, Liara's Singularity holding her in midair.
"Do it now!" the Benezia urged. As if on command, Liara shot a Warp through the other asari's body, damaging the last of her reserves. She was lowered to the floor gently, the final bit of life fading from her spent shell.
"No light… they always said there would be…" the Matriarch trailed off as she passed on into darkness.
"I'm sorry mother…" Liara whispered.
Leaving Liara to mourn her mother's death, Shepard stepped up to the containment unit's console. She stared intently at the magnificent creature whose life she was about to destroy. This creature, from what she had deduced from the Matriarch's words, was the Rachni Queen. Its thick, heavy body swayed behind the glass, almost forlornly. Wrex came up to stand beside her.
"Just kill it so we can get out of here. I'm freezing my quads off," he urged.
Just as she raised her hand to the dial that would deoxygenate the unit, she heard Liara gasp from behind them. She spun, weapon raised in preparation. An asari commando, one of whom had clearly been dead a moment ago, made her way up the stairs to the platform. She moved slowly and her steps were rigid and strained as if an invisible force was puppeteering her body. Her eyes were rolled back in her skull, the whites clearly visible. Shepard raised her hand in an order to hold fire, however she kept the crosshairs of her scope between the asari's eyes. Only feet away now, the woman stopped, and her mouth began to move like that of a marionette.
"So what did the Council have to say about the last mission?" Kaidan asked breathlessly as he dodged a kick to the face.
"They were pissed off as usual." Shepard threw a stray punch, landing the Lieutenant in the cheek. He barely flinched.
"About the Rachni Queen? I can understand that." Kaidan managed to land a fist in her stomach, but she jumped back slightly to soften the blow.
They circled around one another on the mat, waiting to spot another opening in the other's defenses. "I believe she was telling the truth about their ancestors being indoctrinated, and causing the Rachni Wars. I already saw its effects on Liara's mother." She had no doubt that the Rachni Queen was being truthful, else she would have destroyed her. As the queen spoke through the dead asari, there was understanding and sincerity in her words. She wouldn't have blamed Shepard if she chose to end her life, however she was eternally grateful that she had been spared. She even declared that her kind would sing of the kindness Shepard had bestowed upon her. Perhaps someday, the race would prove to be a formidable ally. Wrex, on the other hand, didn't see it that way. He was certain to congratulate her sarcastically, commenting that generations of bugs will be writing songs in her honor. And when you put it that way...
"Skipper," Ashley's voice emanated from the sidelines as she approached the sparring mat.
The Commander's gaze moved from Kaidan to Ashley. The Gunnery Chief looked concerned and she wondered what could have possibly been bothering her. Suddenly her eyes widened and she raised her finger to redirect Shepard's attention. "Shep-" Before Ashley could finish her warning, Shepard felt a sweeping force from behind, throwing off her footing. She landed hard on her back with a huff. Through dazed vision she focused on her attacker to find Kaidan peering down at her, his hand extended to help her back to her feet.
"You taught me to never be distracted during a fight, Commander," he said, justifying his actions.
A bright smile spread across her lips. "I taught you well," she declared, grabbing his hand. Once back on her feet she turned to him with a teasing smirk. "You were too lenient though, I would've kicked your ass harder."
"I'll remember that next time, Commander," Kaidan said with a grin.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, Commander…" Ashley trailed off.
"No problem, Ash. Excuse me Kaidan," she pardoned herself before stepping away with the Gunnery Chief. "What's bothering you Williams?"
"It's Liara," she started. "She seems totally unaffected by what happened with her mother. I tried to speak with her about it, but she shrugs it off like it was nothing." Ashley cast her eyes to the floor. "Is that what happens when you live for so long? Do you become so unaffected by the deaths of those you love?" The sorrowful tone in her voice made Shepard wonder if there was more personal concern behind her question.
"You want me to talk to her?"
"If you could, mam. You were there. Maybe she needs to confide in someone who was."
"I'll try," Shepard assured her.
"Thanks, Skipper," Ashley said with a smile before returning to her post.
Shepard stepped into the back room of the med bay. A small smile curved her lips as she remembered her last intimate moments with Nihlus that had been spent in this room. She could make out some shallow scratch marks that had been left in the wall by his claws as they lost themselves in the heat of passion.
"Shepard!" Liara greeted her with surprise. "What can I do for you?"
Turning her attention to the asari, a veneer of friendly concern masked the appearance of wistful contemplation that had been present in her expression moments earlier. "How are you feeling, Liara?"
"I'm fine, Shepard, why do you ask?"
"Losing a parent can be hard on anyone. I wanted to see how you were coping."
Liara bowed her head. "Of course I mourn my mother. I loved her." She raised her head, her large pale blue eyes shimmering with a hint of dampness. "Asari have long lifespans. After a time, you come to accept death and losing those you love becomes a part of life. It doesn't make it any less distressing, but it becomes easier to deal with those emotions."
"I see," Shepard responded. "That's quite a disadvantage of having an extended lifetime."
"It is," Liara affirmed despondently.
"Well, I'd better get back to work. If you ever need to talk, about anything, you're welcome to visit at any time," Shepard offered sincerely.
"I will, Shepard. Thank you."
Before turning to leave, she decided to add one more thing. "And Liara, make sure you speak with Ash, she was worried about you."
"Ashley?" Liara asked, her eyes widening in surprise. Shepard nodded and turned to leave, but not before she took note of the pleased smile plastered on the asari's face.
Shepard opened the door to her quarters, a sigh of relief escaping her lips. She was happy with how well that went. Liara proved to be genuinely accepting of her mother's death. Despite her timid nature, the asari was much stronger than anyone gave her credit for. Every day she seemed to be learning more about the people on her team, and it left her feeling content.
"Shepard…" Garrus's voice rumbled through the silence of the room.
Her eyes shot up to meet his, the expression on his face filled with his usual youthful zeal. His unexpected presence made her heart jump in anticipation. She wasn't sure why he was here, waiting for her to return to her quarters, but her mind was sure to form its own hopeful answers. "Garrus, what are you doing here?"
"Sorry Shepard, but I needed to talk to you. It's important," he said determinately, stepping closer to her.
"Oh?" She felt her stomach flutter with excitement at his close proximity. Her lips parted slightly, anticipating, almost begging him, to make a move. He just stood before her, as if contemplating. If he continued to hesitate much longer, her heart was going to burst in her chest.
Then, he finally spoke. "Remember what I told you about the case I had, regarding Dr. Saleon?"
Her heart fell. "Oh…" You're an idiot, Shepard, she scolded.
"I was finally able to acquire the transponder frequency for his new ship. Apparently the bastard is now going by the name of Dr. Heart… his idea of a sick joke I guess," Garrus said with distaste.
She looked into his hopeful blue eyes, understanding what he was about to ask. "Send Joker the coordinates and we'll go after him."
He displayed his pointed feral teeth in a grin and grabbed her shoulders with unabashed enthusiasm. "I was hoping you'd say that! Thank you, Shepard."