Hey everyone, here is chapter 14. I can't believe it got this far. haha. :) Thank you to everyone who reviewed. Sorry if this makes a bit too much sense. Haha.
I guess I should also put in a disclaimer considering I haven't been doing that. Haha. I don't own any of this stuff :) Now enjoy.
(Mrs. Lovett is lying down in her chair reading a teenage vampire novel. All of a sudden Toby runs in…)
Toby: MUM! MUM! MUM!
Mrs. Lovett: Shut the hell up, Toby, what do you want?
Toby: Don't you want to know where I've been?
Mrs. Lovett: Not really.
Toby: Well, I was running an errand for Mr. Todd.
Mrs. Lovett: I don't give a damn.
Toby: Well, there should be something you should know about Mr. Todd, Mum.
Mrs. Lovett: I know just about everything about Mr. Todd! Are you suggesting I'm not a proper stalking fan girl? D: and stop calling me Mum. I'm not your Mum.
Toby: Well do you know that he's Johnny Depp in disguise?
Mrs. Lovett: Is human the secret ingredient in my pies?
Toby: What?
Mrs. Lovett: NOTHING! O_O
Toby: Alright then… e_e
Mrs. Lovett: You can hold nothing against me.
Toby: Anyway, Mr. Todd kills people.
Mrs. Lovett: So?
Toby: Sooooo… That's not a good thing.
Mrs. Lovett: Is this going to get to a point anytime soon?
Toby: The point is that nothing's gonna harm you. Not while I'm around.
Mrs. Lovett: Aww. That's so sweet.
Toby: I FEEL SO ACCEPTED!
Mrs. Lovett: And you know what Toby. Things are gonna hurt you. As long as I'm around :D
Toby: :( WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME?
Mrs. Lovett: Because you're an annoying street rat that gives me free labor. Not my son. Now let me get back to my vampire novel.
Book: Edward's bare chest glistened in the daytime, making him look like a gay disco ball.
Mrs. Lovett: Oh Edward. You remind me so much of my dear Sweeney. Except he doesn't sparkle and he's not gay. At least I don't think he is.
Toby: Hey, Mum. Wanna know something?
Mrs. Lovett: Not really.
Toby: Edward gets Bella pregnant and Jacob starts being all pedo to their daughter!
Mrs. Lovett: LE GASP! D: YOU SPOILED IT!
Toby: MWAHAHAHA :D
(Mrs. Lovett slams her book down on the floor.)
Mrs. Lovett: BASTARD!
Toby: BITCH!
Mrs. Lovett: Oh. IT IS SO GO TIME!
Toby: crap.
(Mrs. Lovett picks Toby up by his throat and carries him to the bakehouse. She chucks him inside, sending him sprawled across the floor.)
Mrs. Lovett: While I have you down here, I might as well show you how to make pies. When you begin to cook the pies, you stuff into the oven and close the door. I don't care if you do it properly, I could care less if you burn. You also plop in the huma- I MEAN MYSTERY MEAT into the grinder. Make sure you get all of the muscles and flesh to become nice and mushy.
Toby: Whut?
Mrs. Lovett: Just get to work! I'm going to go check on something and not lock you in. By the way, there are sewers here in case that is going to be really useful anytime soon.
Toby: :( okay. Do you mind if I have some pies while I work?
Mrs. Lovett: Whatever.
(Mrs. Lovett walks outside of the bakehouse and locks several locks and sets a bunch alarms)
Mrs. Lovett: That should keep the rotten brat in. Now, back to my book.
(She then walks back upstairs to her vampire novel.)
Book: "Oh Edward," Bella said in a monotonic voice. "I just love how your chest sparkles like diamonds against the sun."
Mrs. Lovett: *sigh* Stephanie Meyer, how do you do it?
(She then falls asleep imagining what a bare chested sparkling Sweeney would look like.)
I'm sorry that I had to put that image into your minds. Haha. I couldn't help it. Anyway, please review! They are my oxygen. They help me breath and shizz. Anyway...
Does anyone have any plans on what they're going to be for Halloween? I'm going to be Mrs. Lovett :) I've got the costume and everything. What do you guys plan to be?