Chapter 14:Over

Music with the chapter: Kelly Clarkson -Because of you

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters

He woke in the middle of the night from her crying. Her face was turned in the opposite direction and as soon as she sensed that he was awake she tried to stop.

'Don't look at me, please. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't wanted to wake you up'

'Kitten'

'Don't worry, it's one of the easy nights'

If this is one of her easy nights, I wonder how it is when it's hard. She's so brave.

I'm such a freak. I know he will see it too.

'I'll bring you water'

'Thanks' at first she was shivering so hard that she splashed some of the water, but after some time she finally felt better.

'I probably look awful'

'Even like this you're more beautiful than every woman I ever saw'

'Than you haven't met anyone'

'I'm serious.'

'So am I'

'You know that you have to tell me the whole truth sooner or later, right?'

'I don't understand you.'

'You do. Just tell me when you're ready. I know it's not only the rape…'

'You do?'

'You're a warrior. But there's something more here. I can't figure out what but I know there is. You're so brave. And for something to break you there is more. Tell me I'm wrong.'

She went silent.

'Look whatever it is I won't judge you.'

'Night'

She just turned to the other side. It was too soon and too late for the truth. Wrong time. Wrong place. Once she was fighting for the good. She belonged to the light. Now, she belonged to the shadows. She was just a ghost walking in strange world which she wasn't able to understand and it didn't understand her. She was nothing. Everything in her life was complete mess. She failed in everything. And now He was here. And it wasn't fair to him. She just wanted to escape from this reality so much.

Because of you I tried my hardest just to forget everything

Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in

Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty

Because of you I am afraid

They say the morning is wiser than the night and it was truth, almost every time.

But than again, it all comes to the decisions we make.

There are this decisions that are good.

There are the bad ones.

The ones we make because we are weak.

The ones we make because we feel safer.

And there are the hard ones, that don't become easier with the morning.

When the morning came, it wasn't easier.

She knew now, she made a bad decision, which she was unable to change.

When Spike woke up the first thing he saw was Buffy staring at him.

'Hey love'

He leaned to kiss her, but she moved back.

'I'm sorry Spike. All this was a huge, huge mistake.'

'I don't unders..'

'You won't. Never. You can't. It's just like that. Simple. This night won't happen again.'

'Why don't you just tell me the truth once and for all and stop this act. You know I can understand you. But not if you don't give me a chance'

There it was. The decision. She couldn't run again. It was time to do what she must've done a long time ago.

'Spike, it's over between us. Whatever it was it is over. I know you wouldn't want me after that but I will tell you anyway because you deserve it. But after that I will leave and it will be over'