My reasons for posting late are at the bottom, but I'm posting now, at least :) I've been dying to post this chapter, and I really hope you like it :)
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.:{}:.
I see your eyes, my love.
They tell your story in its whole,
Sweet whisperings of ghosts,
That devour your very soul.
.:{}:.
I'd never been so terrified in my life. Speaking to him, telling him things I'd never imagined telling anyone before… It was petrifying. There was an angry cloud of confusion inside of me, asking me why I was trusting a man with my secrets. Why I was trusting a man to not hurt me, when I was giving him fuel to.
"Why were you sent to Konoha, Hinata?" he asked me, his voice oh so gentle.
"T… To be p… Put in a f… Foster home," I squeaked back, too cowardly to look into his eyes, but unable to look away from where my hand was held loosely in his.
"Why's that?"
I took a deep breath. "M… My Uncle… W… When I w… Was eight, h… He…"
"He raped you?"
The Blood of Ivory
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Chapter 14
I nodded. "E… Every n… Night…" There was silence. "W… When I w… Was twelve, w… We start… ed s… S… Sex ED… In class, I… I asked m… My teacher if i… It was n… Normal for p… People t… To start h… Having s… Sex when they're eight… M… my t… Teacher said 'n… no,' and a… Asked me why I'd a… Ask s… Such a th… Thing… I s… Said 'm… My uncle s… Said it was ok… Kay… Th… Then the p… Police c… Came and t… Took my u… Uncle to p… Prison. I… I thought that th… That would h… Have b… Been the e… End of it, b… But…"
"Hinata?"
I was shaking so hard, and trying to say everything as quickly as possible, I'd forgotten he was even there. I could see the images as they raced past my eyes, taunting me, teasing me… I battled to keep my tears at bay. When his voice slid smoothly into the air, I raised my head and looked at him, to show him I was listening.
"Why don't you sing it? It might help with your stutter, and music helps you to relax. Singing releases endorphins, so… You might feel better if you sing it."
I nodded again, and took a deep breath, before conjuring up a random tune and singing my words along with it.
"My father came into my room one night, and he g… Gave me a locket. At his prompts, I opened it, and on one side was a p… Picture of my uncle and my cousin, smiling. On the other s… Side were the words 'nobody loves a liar.' He made me go t… To the police, and give a statement saying that I had been l… Lying, and that my uncle hadn't…"
He gave my hand a slight squeeze, and instead of terrifying me, I felt a warmth spread through my fingertips.
"You have a beautiful voice," he complimented, and I flushed.
"Th… Thank you," I whispered, suddenly finding the floor incredibly interesting.
"What happened after that?"
"He continued. When I was sixteen, I started saying n… No to him, and fighting back when he tried to… When I was seventeen, I told a t… Teacher, and now I'm h… Here." My voice wobbled and faded at the end of the word, and I could feel traitorous tears well up behind my eyes. How I hated them. How I hated crying. I wasn't supposed to be weak, but they gave away all of my flaws.
"When you got to Konoha," he began, his voice steady, "you started to improve, even in that first week. Your cheeks had more colour to them, and you were willing to smile more. What's happened since then to make you fade away like you have been?"
My jaw hardened, and I looked away from him, turning my head completely. "I have nightmares every night," I sung softly. "I dream that my uncle has started to t… Take my younger sister, now that I'm not there. I dream that she c… Comes up to me in a tattered night dress, with her eyes d… Dead and her hair matted, with blood and cum all through it. Sometimes, she g… Gets angry or sad, and asks me why I left her to him. Recently, she's t… Turned into some sort of demon, and claims that she likes it when he… I want t… To go back to her, and make sure that she's okay, b… But I'm too much of a coward. I'm too afraid."
"You're not a coward, Hinata." It was those words that made my tears fall. "What you did took courage. You stood up to your uncle, you asked your teacher for help, even though you'd already been knocked back before. That took incredible courage. And what's more, even after everything your uncle did to you, you've still been able to tell me, a guy." He squeezed my hand once more, before he started rubbing circles on my palm with his thumb. "You're the strongest person I know, Hinata."
"I… I'm not s… Strong," I protested, and wiped away my tears with my free hand. "I cry a… All the t… Time."
"Only the strongest of people can admit that they're weak."
That shut me up, and I had no argument against him, no matter how much I wanted to deny it. I wasn't strong. Why couldn't he see that?
"But the nightmares aren't the only thing that's happened. What else has been going on?" His voice was soft and kind, but I could still hear the underlying sense of urgency, and that frightened me. What did he want to know? Why did he want to know it?
"I… I don't th… Think…"
"Come on, Hinata. You've already come so far. Tell me, Hinata. You can trust me."
I was shaking so hard I could feel my teeth chattering. He was pushing me, and I couldn't deal with it. "I… I c… Can't…"
"It's alright, Hinata. Just tell me. What's wrong?"
The thread that was keeping me in place snapped, and I wrenched my hand from his grip, fleeing out of the school. I didn't care that I'd left my bag in the room, I didn't care that he was chasing me. All that registered was the urgent need to get away. To escape. It was too much, and I couldn't deal with it. I couldn't tell him. He wouldn't believe me. He'd accuse me of lying, and that would tear me in two, because I'd already trusted him too much.
I flew past the gates, and continued running away from the school, dodging traffic, but at the same time hoping that the cars would hit me. I don't know how long I ran for, or where I was going. All I know is what brought me back, and that was Gaara's hand latching onto my shoulder and turning me around. I tripped over my feet at the unexpected movement, but he caught me when I fell to the ground, and cradled me in his arms as I sobbed into his chest.
"Shh, Hinata," he cooed, and stroked my hair with feather-light touches. "Shh… Why'd you run away? I won't hurt you. I already promised you I wouldn't. I just wanted to know what's wrong."
"Y… Your questions are too much," I uttered, my voice weak. "Y… You've almost pushed me too far."
Gaara was silent for a moment, and he rocked me back and forth like a child. "Then take my hand," he said softly, hesitantly, "and let me guide you back from the edge." His fingers wove into mine where they gripped the front of his shirt, as he held me on the pavement. It wasn't until a while later that I realised he had stroked my hair, and it had felt right.
Naaawww... ^_^
So, I was going to update Sunday, but my mum 'convenientally' decided to forget to tell me that she was getting both main laptops repaired. So no posting. Monday, I went out with friends, Tuesday went biscuiting (tubing), Wednesday I was in so much pain from that... Bruised shoulders, bruised hips, bruised tummy, bruised thighs and bruised feet (I know... Feet :P). But I've come into town today to post this up for you :) I hope you liked it :)
Reviews = love = inspiration = faster updates. Please don't loiter, I'd love to hear from you :) And to those who favourite without reviewing... Please don't. Even one review is enough. How can I know why you like the story if you won't tell me?
Love, SapphireRivulet xox