Sections in these **** are flash backs.
Jack's Heart Break.
"What's going on Ianto? What do you mean Phoenix was having my son?" Jack ask Ianto, his head filled with confusion but his heart breaking at hearing that.
"I think we should go into the office Jack," Ianto tells him putting his arm around Jack's waist and moving him towards the office.
As they pass Owen, Gwen and Toshiko, none of them could look at either Ianto or Jack. They saw that Jack was physically crush by the bomb shell that had just landed in his lap. Ianto takes him into the office, shutting the door behind them and sitting Jack in his chair behind the desk. Ianto retrieves a glass and the bottle from the bottom drawer and pours some into the glass and hands it to Jack and he took it.
"What is going on Ianto? What is all this about a son?" Jack asks Ianto, almost downing the whole drink in one.
"She let it slip and I don't think that she meant to. She said that you were mine and that she didn't care about you anymore. I told her that you cared about her to which she replied, you cared about her that much that you abandoned her to die while she was carrying your son," Ianto tries to explain to Jack but he wasn't listen as he was still had thoughts that Phoenix had been pregnant with his son.
"Why didn't she tell me? Why didn't she tell me that she was pregnant?" Jack asks Ianto and he slides across the desk and sits right in front of Jack.
"Look at me Jack," Ianto tells him and after a second or two, Jack finally looks at Ianto.
"The feeling I got from her and it is just a feeling but I think that she had only just found out that she was pregnant before you went into that battle. I don't think that she would have told you as you went into battle as both of your minds wouldn't have been on what you needed to do. I think she would have told you afterwards but things didn't work out that way," Ianto tells Jack and a tear falls down his face.
"Phoenix was pregnant with my child, my son before we went into that battle. She was fighting a battle while she was pregnant, risking hers and our child's safety to save other people and when she needed me the most, I abandoned her and ran. Because I was a coward, she nearly died and she lost our son," Jack clarifies as the tears stream down his face.
"You didn't know Jack. Phoenix didn't tell you for good reasons but she didn't tell you. How where you meant to know? It's not your fault Jack," Ianto tries to tell him.
Jack closes his eyes, tears still streaming from his closed eyes.
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They were enjoying a lie-in on a beautiful Saturday morning. Jack was laying on his back and Phoenix was laying on her side, Jack's arm around her neck and Phoenix holding his hand.
"I wish we could this more often. It's nice just laying here with you," Jack tells her and she smiles at him.
"Careful Jack. You are on the verge of becoming soppy again and we don't want that to happen," she tells him and they laugh.
She looks up at him and he looks down at her, their lips moving closer to each others. Just as their lips are about to touch, Phoenix doesn't feel right and has the over whelming urge to throw up. She jumps out of the bed, almost tripping on the bed sheet and she reaches the bathroom just in time and she throw up.
"Are you ok in there? If I didn't know any better, I would say you were either suffering from food poisoning or you were pregnant," Jack jokes as he sits up in bed.
Once she had finished and cleaned up, she came to the bathroom door and looked at Jack.
"Me! Pregnant! Where the hell did that idea come from?" she asks him a little surprised as he gets out of the bed and walks over to her and puts his arms around her waist.
"Would it honestly be that bad an idea?" Jack asks her with a serious face.
"Yes Jack. Given what we do, it isn't a good idea and are you really thinking about this?" she asks him seeing that it had crossed his mind.
"Just a fleeting thought," he tells her with a smile.
"Doesn't stop us practicing though does it," Phoenix smiles and then Jack smiles.
*******************************
"We talked about it once, in a very fleeting conversation. She was sick one morning but I joked that she either had food poisoning or she was pregnant. We both laughed about it, Phoenix saying that given what we both did as a job, it wasn't a good idea," Jack smiles as he remembers but the smile fades away quickly.
"You really did love her didn't you?" Ianto asks him filling his glass again.
"Sorry Yan. I knew this can't be easy for you to hear," Jack tells him and Ianto smiles.
"I am under no illusion that I was your first love Jack. I know you have had lovers in the past and I know that you have loved in the past too. I just didn't expect the woman you loved to turn up in the hub but I'm ok with it Jack. I know that it will bring back memories and feelings but I know we are strong enough," Ianto tells him and then he sees Jack's tears start again.
"Is it my fault Yan? Was it my fault that Phoenix lost our son? If I had stayed, could I have saved them?" Jack asks Ianto looking for answers where he couldn't find them.
"Honestly Jack, I don't know. I can't give you the answers you are looking for, only Phoenix can do that and she isn't here. All that I can say is that you didn't know Jack and if you didn't know, you couldn't have done anything," Ianto tells Jack.
As Jack cries, Ianto gets off of the desk and stands next to him and holds Jack's head to his stomach, stroking his head as his lover falls apart in front of his eyes over the lose of a son he never knew about.
After everyone else had gone, Ianto comes back into the office and down into the bedroom where Jack had retired too and was curled up on the bed. Ianto takes his shoes off and jacket off and climbs onto the bed. He lays down behind Jack and puts his arm around him. He can feel Jack crying but doesn't hear him, his body shaking under Ianto's arm and Ianto's heart breaks.
"Let it out Jack. Let all the sorrow and pain out," Ianto tells him knowing how much it was hurting Jack, kissing his shoulder and Jack turns to him.
Jack buries his head in Ianto's chest and Ianto holds him tight and kisses his head. They spend the rest of night like that and Jack finally falls asleep in Ianto's arms.