A/N: ok so... here's chapter 14. I hope you don't find it awkward. Or don't find any other part depressing or anything. I hope you like this chapter! Please review!

Chapter 14: Realizations

Renesmee Cullen's POV

We didn't stand a chance. They had already made the rest of my family flee, daring them to fight. Jacob was the only one who stayed to defend me against them. The Volturi. They were all there. Jane and Felix in the front, Aro hidden behind his monstrous guard. Jacob growled fiercely, scaring even me. Jane didn't even flinch, nor did Felix. Jane smiled at him angelically, but the effect was anything but pleasant. Jacob sank to the ground, howling in pain.

"Stop! Please, please stop! No!" I shouted and begged, but Jane kept hurting him, using her power to send him the illusion of unbearable pain. Jacob kept howling, a tortured, strangled sound. Out of nowhere, Felix pounced on Jacob, who was still crying in pain on the forest floor. I heard Aro's malicious laughter, his red, thirsty eyes just visible beyond the gray cloaks of his guard. Felix was still tearing Jake, ripping him to pieces. "No!" I screeched, my vision blurred from my tears.

Felix just laughed viciously as he tore my Jacob to pieces, Jane still using her evil gift on him. Soon after, the howls of unendurable agony that were ringing through the air died off, silent now. I sank to the ground, sobbing. He was dead. Surely I would die now, too. I closed my eyes and lay on the hard, cold forest floor, waiting and wanting to die. Half of me was gone now. Without Jacob, I was nothing. I couldn't survive without him. But now he was gone. I saw the Volturi's drifting shadows desert the clearing silently. This was worse than if they'd have killed me. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to quiet the sobs. I couldn't. I crawled over the dead grass and weeds to my Jacob and lay against his now cold, broken, torn, bloody body, waiting to join him, to die.

All of the sudden, indescribable pain shot through my body. My eyes landed on Jane's black cloaked figure standing by the trees. So they hadn't left. I knew that my mental and emotional pain would end soon, thanks to this, but Jane's gift was like a living Hell. Screams ripped through my throat, already sore from my crying and shouting. I saw Felix walking slowly back out to me, a lighter in his hand. He was going to burn me, though I wasn't a full vampire. This just made me cry out more. He was now just a mere yard away from Jake and me, an orange flame already visible from the top of the lighter. He reached down and put the lighter to the dead grass right beside me, where my shirt would catch fire. I tried to put out the flame, but I was rendered helpless with Jane still mentally attacking me. The flames licked up the fabric of my shirt, slowly going through to my skin. I screamed bloody murder at the sudden heat, hotter than anything I had ever felt before. Felix flitted back to the trees, leaving me here to burn. Jane was still smiling at me deviously, and I was still writhing at the use of her gift. This was it. I was going to die…

I woke up screaming, hot tears falling out of my eyes, cold sweat on my face and neck. I saw Ryan, Jacob, Edward, and the rest of my family, worry and panic written across all of their faces. The only one who knew what was going on was Edward, but he didn't appear to have said anything to anyone else. As soon as I had opened my eyes, Veronica muttered, "It's about time you woke up and stopped screaming, little brat."

Jacob glared at her for that, but then turned back to me. "Ness, are you alright? What happened? I…" Jacob said frantically. Seeing his face, the worry in his eyes, it was all so real. It's like my dream never happened, like it didn't exist. I couldn't help it; I threw my arms around his neck and started quietly sobbing again.

Through my tears, I wailed, "J-Jake, you're…o-kay…"

"Of course I'm okay… Ren, what's going on? Why were you screaming?" he asked, holding me close comfortingly.

"I-I had a nightmare… It…it was h-h-horrible… Y-you…" I blubbered.

Jacob stole a quick glance at my father, who had a somber expression on his face. Then he looked back to me. "I what, Ness?" he prompted.

"Y-you…you were…you got k-k—" I started to tell him, but then yet another sob overtook my body, a new series of tears pouring through my red, splotchy eyes, remembering. "Volturi," I whispered in his ear, when I could speak again.

Jacob held me out at arm's length. "The Volturi? Them?" he asked gently.

I nodded. "Yes. J-Jake, they… J-Jane and Felix…" I said softly, crying onto his shoulder again.

He repeatedly stroked my hair and my back, comforting me. "Shhh…" he kept saying. Then he pushed into my head, they promised to leave us alone, remember?

I nodded, then sat back up in my seat. "I-I'm sorry…"

Jacob smiled half-heartedly at me, not reaching his eyes. "Don't worry about it. Just forget it. Forget all about it. I'm fine, and so is everyone else. Nothing ever happened," he assured me.

I nodded. "Thanks, Jake." I looked at Edward. "Hey, are we almost home?"

"Yes. We'll be at the airport in about fifteen minutes," he said, then came over to me and hugged me. "It's alright, Nessie. It didn't happen, and it's not going to happen," he told me, wiping stray tears from my eyes. I hugged him back, trying not to cry again. When everyone went back to their seats in the next few minutes after I assured them that I was fine now, I sat on Ryan's lap, laying my head against his chest.

"Ness, who are the Volturi?" Ryan asked.

"No one," I breathed quickly.

He dropped the subject. "Alright. But are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine…now."

He kissed the top of my head. We stayed silent until we got to the airport. We all exited the plane again and made our way to our own cars. When Jake was about to get into the driver's seat, I asked, "Um, Jake…can I drive?" I smiled sweetly.

"But…you've never driven before. You're dad would kill me…" he said.

"Is that your only excuse?" I asked, tilting my head.

He sighed. "Isn't that a good enough excuse?"

"Please?" I begged.

He was warring with himself. Then, reluctantly, he handed me the keys. "Please don't make me regret this."

I smiled brilliantly. "Thank you!"

He walked over to the passenger seat. "Yeah, yeah. Happy birthday." I opened the driver's car door and sat in the seat. I put the seat belt on, though only Ryan and Veronica needed it. I put the key in the ignition and turned it. The car roared to life. I grinned. Then, I gently pressed down on the gas pedal, and the car shot forward from its parking space. "Be careful!" Jacob warned. I just laughed gleefully. He rolled his eyes.

"Um, Ness, have you ever driven before?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah…" I lied slowly. Jake rolled his eyes again. Ryan and Veronica still didn't look convinced. I continued to cautiously drive out of the airports' parking lot and onto the highway.

"Careful!" Jacob repeated at predictable intervals. Once, I almost drove off the road at a curve, and Jacob had to reach over and take the steering wheel from me temporarily. "Good Lord…" he muttered.

I smiled sheepishly. "Sorry…" Jacob took a deep breath and hesitantly let me have the steering wheel again.

"Why, oh why did I ever agree to this?" he asked no one in particular, looking up at the car's ceiling and shaking his head.

I rolled my eyes and concentrated more from then on.

About five minutes after that, we pulled up the driveway. Surprisingly, we were still in one piece when I pulled into the garage. We were the last ones there.

"God, remind me to never agree to that ever again," Jacob said as he quickly unbuckled his seat belt and stepped out of the car.

I laughed and climbed ou of the car, too. "Now, why would I do that?" I asked, smiling.

"Because you don't want us to die," Jacob said, a little jokingly.

I hugged him for about a second since Ryan was present. "Thanks, Jake," I thanked him, grinning.

"Sure, sure," he said, and walked inside.

I walked over to where Ryan was exiting the car. "Hi. Sorry about my driving skills..." I apologized.

He looked a little shaken. "That's alright." I took his hand and led him inside.

My dad was looking hatefully at Jake. "Why the hell would you let her drive?" my dad yelled.

"Well, it's her birthday and she asked me, so..." Jacob defended.

"Edward, don't blame him. It was my idea," I said, trying to keep him from yelling at Jake any more.

Edward still looked really ticked, but didn't say anything else. For now.

"Nessie, come on!" Alice said gleefully, taking my arm and leading me up the stairs.

"Alice, what are you doing?" I asked.

"Well, Rose, Esme, and Bella need to set up for your party and I have to get you changed into another outfit!" she exclaimed.

"Why?"

"Why what? I can't read your mind, unlike some other people," she said, a little sourly.

"Why do I have to change clothes?" I elaborated.

"Because it's your birthday party and you need to wear something more special than everyday clothes," Alice told me as she closed the door to my room. She dashed over to my walk-in closet that seemed to be bigger than the main part of my room. In two seconds, Alice came back out of the closet with five garment bags covering her small figure. "Okay, we need to pick an outfit out for you. I picked a few outfits for you to try. But I think I know the one you're going to pick."

"Wow, that's a first. You said 'I think,'" I said with false shock.

She sighed in exasperation. "You know I can't see you or Jake. I hate that..." she shook her head once and threw a garment bag at me. "Try it on!" she instructed, peppy again.

I quickly pulled the bag over the clothing inside. It was a smooth, silky, strapless, floor-length dress. It was maroon colored, the kind of dress a girl wore to prom, not their seventh birthday party, even if they were pretending to be seventeen. "Sorry, Alice, but I'm not even going to try it on. It's too formal..." I said. I saw Alice's face fall and quickly reassured her. "But, it's really beautiful. I'll wear it to prom, okay?" I promised her. Her bright smile came back.

"Okay!" she said excitedly. She quickly covered the dress back up and handed me another clothes bag. This was a light green, poofy dress that went just past my knees. It sort of looked like Tinker Bell's dress. I shook my head at Alice. "Why?" she asked, trying not to frown.

"Too princess-like. Sorry," I said apologetically. She sighed and gave me another outfit as she put the fairy dress away. I lifted the bag over the dress and blinked my eyes a few times. The dress was covered in bright, mirror-like, silver sparkles. It was absolutely sparkly, not a speck of dress free of shimmer. I put the bag back over it. "Really sparkly," I told her, and handed her the bag.

"Alright. There's only two more. You better like one of them," she warned, narrowing her golden, honey-colored eyes at me. She tossed me another bag and I removed it to reveal yet another dress. It was silky and bright red, with faux diamond studded thin straps. It was pretty low-cut, and it went a couple inches above fingertip length. I liked it, but I knew if I wore it to the party that I would feel self-conscious. Nonetheless, I decided to try it on. I had to admit, it looked really cute on me, and it fit me perfectly, if not too perfectly. It clung to every curve of my body, which made me feel more revealed than I felt in my two-piece swimsuit. "So, how do you like it?" Alice asked, a brilliant smile on her face as she stood next to me and examined me in the mirror.

I looked in the mirror with her. "Well, I like it, but...it's a little short, don't you think?" I asked hesitantly.

"Well, if you think this dress is short, then the other outfit won't be much longer. But at least the next outfit isn't as formal..." Alice said.

I removed the last outfit from the garment bag and gasped a little. It was one of the outfits that Alice got me at the mall the day Jake told me about imprinting. It was the violet colored, thin silk strapless shirt, paired with a short, tight black skirt. "This?" I asked Alice a little breathlessly. There were so many wonderful things about that day, but also so many things that had gone wrong.

"Yes, why?" Alice asked curiously.

I shook my head, trying to clear it. "Nevermind." I pulled off the tight red dress that I was currently wearing and slipped the shirt and skirt pair on. I actually really liked it. Yes, it was short and pretty revealing, but with Veronica at the party, I wouldn't look the cheapest.

"So, do you like this one?" Alice asked, brows raised.

"Yeah, I do. Thanks, Alice," I said, hugging her.

"You're welcome, Sweetheart," Alice said, embracing me back.

"Is the party ready yet?" I asked, suddenly impatient.

"Relax, Renesmee," Alice told me. "You, Jake, Ryan, and Veronica are going out to lunch first so we can get the party set up quickly. They're starting to set things up at human speed now."

"Alright, where are we going?" I questioned.

"I don't know. It's up to you. You're the birthday girl," she spoke as she handed me four hundred dollar bills, presumably for the lunch costs.

"Thanks, Alice," I acknowledged again, smiling.

"No problem, Ness. Let's get you ready to go downstairs. I'm sure Ryan and Jake will start drooling when they see you," Alice predicted, rolling her eyes.

"Jake?" I asked, confused. Jake would drool over me?

Alice started laughing a little, thinking it was a joke. Then she saw my serious expression and looked, dumb-founded, at me. "You're kidding me, right?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Um...no..." I said slowly.

"Sweetie, are you blind?" Alice asked me.

"No, Alice. I'm sure my sight is perfect, seeming as I'm half vampire," I said sarcastically.

"Ness, do you see the way pretty much all of the guys at school look at you?" she inquired a little impatiently.

"Yes. Why?" I repeated.

"That's the way Jacob thinks and feels about you, only he's smart enough not to express it around your father," she told me, rolling her eyes. "Only I don't know how he's going to contain his thoughts when you walk down the stairs today. Edward will already have a hard time not yelling at Ryan."

I was shocked. "Wait... Jacob thinks that I'm...hot?" I asked.

"Sweetie, 'hot' is an understatement," she said, tilting her head at me.

"And you know all of this how?" I asked her skeptically.

"Ren, I don't need to have mind reading powers to know that Jacob is madly in love with you. Actions and expressions tell all..." she said mysteriously, grinning mischievously.

"Can we go downstairs now?" I asked her, sighing.

"After you take a shower to get the salt water out of your hair so I can style it," she answered, smiling. Then she narrowed her eyes at me a little, studying me. "You won't need make-up. You're already extraordinarily beautiful," she said, smiling at me. She quickly hung the garment bags back in my closet and set out a pair of black high heels.

I sighed and went to my bathroom, took off the outfit, and folded it neatly, setting it on the counter. I took a quick shower, about four minutes, and dried off. Once I was completely dried off except for my hair, which I pulled back into a messy bun, not wanting to ruin my silk top, I changed back into my clothes. When I was done, I went back into the main part of my room where Alice was going to do my hair.

"Okay, what to do, what to do..." Alice muttered to herself, deep in thought as she studied my hair. Suddenly, she smiled. "I know!" She ran to my bathroom and came back with my hair straightner and crimper.

"Alice, do you really have to straighten my hair before you crimp it?" I asked her as she took a fairly think group of strands of my hair and pulled the straightner through it.

"Well, I don't have to, but it looks better," she told me, straightening another part of my thick, curly, light-brown, almost elbow length hair. My hair was so long because Alice and Rosalie refused to ever have it cut. They loved my hair.

When she was finally done styling my hair, she handed me my pair of black, silky heels and ran the straightner and crimper back to my bathroom. She was back before I could even put on one shoe. She took the high heels from my hands and pulled them on for me. "Thanks," I told her.

She smiled. "There. Now you are officially perfect!" she exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes. "Can we go downstairs now?" I asked.

"Sure," she said, smiling. She pranced to the door and I followed her. When she got to the top of the stairs, Alice put her hands up to indicate me staying there. She danced down the steps and into the living room. "Okay everyone," she called. The living room got quiet. I groaned. "And now, the birthday girl! Ness, come on!" she announced excitedly.

I walked slowly down the stairs, staring at the floor self-consciously. When I became visible, I heard two intakes of breath. I looked around to find the sources of the noise, though I already knew who they were. My Uncle Emmett, being Emmett, whistled. I looked at him and rolled my eyes. Veronica was looking at me with jealousy and pure hatred. My mom, my grandma, Rose, and Alice were smiling approvingly at me. My dad was smiling at me, too, but also glaring at Jacob and Ryan, but mostly Jake. Emmett, Jasper, and my grandpa were all looking at me with wide eyes. They weren't looking at me with interest, just disbelief. Ryan was looking at me with wide eyes, too, and smiling like an idiot, which made me giggle. And then there was Jacob. He didn't look at me like Ryan did. He wasn't drooling like Alice said he would, or whistling jokingly like my uncle Emmett was. He was different. He didn't look at me with interest, or that much, anyway. He looked at me in awe. Yes, his eyes were still wide, his lips slightly parted for a smile. He looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing to ever walk this earth. His leg muscles looked tensed, like he was trying not to run to me, like he was keeping his feet rooted to the ground. I met his eyes, and his face lit up like fireworks on Independence Day when I smiled at him. I wanted to look into his mind, to find out what he was thinking that made my dad so angry that he was staring daggers at him, his jaw was tensed. But I decided against it, for I didn't want my father to be angry at the both of us. I reached the bottom step of the stairs, me and Jacob still staring at each other, our gazes locked. At that moment, it felt like I knew my reason on this earth. My reason, the reason of my very existence, was to be with Jacob. Forever. It took me so long to realize this, and now what? What could I do about it? I was only seven years old. I knew what I was going to do about it. I was going to wait seven more years until Jacob and I could love each other. I sighed absent mindedly. I was still planted on the bottom step, staring into Jacob's beautiful, deep, smoldering brown eyes. I didn't know how much time had passed. But soon, all too soon, the beautiful, wonderful, magical moment was interrupted by Edward's throat clearing. It must have been longer than I thought. I slowly and reluctantly drew my gaze away from Jacob, looking into the love struck eyes of my boyfriend, feeling nothing at all. I could still feel Jacob's eyes on me, full of love and admiration. It took all my willpower not to stare back at him.

"Hi. Wow, you look...you look beautiful," Ryan said, breaking the connection completely.

I was a little upset that he had to talk and pull me from the extraordinary experience, but smiled politely anyway. "Thank you," I said, being friendly.

"Pictures!" Alice exclaimed, and picked up the camera from one of the coffee tables in the living room. Everyone had changed into something more dressy when I was getting ready, even Alice. Ryan and Veronica brought their clothes. "Okay. Jacob, Nessie, Ryan, and Veronica," she said, positioning us for a picture. Once again, I was between Jacob and Ryan, both of their arms around me, both of my arms around them. Talk about awkward. "Alright, now just one of Ryan and Ness," Alice instructed. She kept clicking the camera like a professional photographer. "Jake?" Alice called, eyes never leaving the camera's viewfinder.

Jacob walked over to stand beside me, taking Ryan's place, and put his arm around my waist to pose for the picture. Alice clicked the camera and we were momentarily blinded by the bright flash of light. In that moment, I questioned why I was dating Ryan in the first place. It wasn't to hurt Jacob or make him jealous; that wasn't my intention. But now we seemed to be hurting each other every second of every day. We've had countless fights since we started dating humans, and we hardly ever bickered before. So, why was I continuing to date Ryan? I realized that I had been trying to find a temporary replacement for Jacob, which was pointless and stupid. No one could ever replace my Jacob. Ever.

My aunt Alice took pictures of me with everyone. Yes, even Veronica. I had a very hard time smiling for that picture.

"Ready to go to lunch?" Alice asked me, Jake, Ryan and Veronica when she was done taking her pictures.

"Yes, we're ready," I answered.

"Do you have the money I gave you?" she asked.

I grabbed my purse that was sitting on the coffee table where the camera was and put the money that I was holding through the pictures into my wallet. "Got it," I answered her.

"Alright. Be back in about three hours, at most. Alright? Everyone should be here by then," she told us.

"Wait...everyone?" I asked her skeptically.

"Yeah. A few people from school..." she trailed, avoiding my eyes.

I decided to leave the house before I got any more paranoid about the party. I didn't really have any close friends at all at school; all the girls were jealous of me. Who could she possibly be inviting?

My mind wandered as I climbed into the passenger seat of Jake's car.

"So, where do you want to go for lunch?" Jake asked me from the driver's seat.

"Um, I don't care. You can pick," I told him. He looked like he was about to protest this, but started driving instead.

After what I realized, I knew that I needed to break up with Ryan. Soon. But could I break his heart?

A/N: I hope you liked this chapter! I'll try to update soon! Thanks for reading and please review!