And now for another episode of Total…Pokémon…Island!
000
"Are you finally going to do it?" asked Gengar, staring at Dragonite. Dragonite, meanwhile, was eyeing himself in the mirror. He also had some freshly picked flowers in his hand.
"I'm thinking about it," said Dragonite. "How do I look?"
"I'm not into guys, so I can't tell you," said Gengar, shaking his head.
"You're helpful," remarked Zubat. Gengar grinned.
"Well, if he just asked her out, we wouldn't be here right now."
"Look, I'm going to do it!" said Dragonite. "…in ten minutes."
Gengar groaned.
000
Oddish, Bellsprout, and Lileep were all in the mess hall, eating up their food.
"What do you think Mew has planned?" asked Oddish. Lileep sighed.
"I dunno," she said, her voice glum. Bellsprout patted her on the neck sympathetically. Ever since her two friends had been eliminated, Lileep was feeling really down.
"I-I'm sorry Venonat got eliminated," said Bellsprout timidly. Lileep looked at him.
"It's okay…just the two of my best friends are gone now."
"Hey, it's okay!" said Oddish. "We're your friends!"
Lileep smiled. "Right."
000
"I'm not into him like that, but Oddish is a really nice guy," said Lileep. "Not awful looking either…I wonder if he's interested in anyone…"
000
"Clefairy, what am I supposed to do?" asked Mawile miserably.
"Well, don't you like him?" asked Clefairy, folding her arms.
"I do, but…I just…don't want to admit it!" wailed Mawile.
"Why?"
"I've always been independent and…strong…and on my own, but…this just goes against everything I believe in!"
"Have you ever been in a relationship before?"
"Once, with a Sableye."
"How'd that go?"
"I knocked out his teeth when I got angry once…after that, it ended."
"Oh…well, Wooper doesn't have teeth!" said Clefairy brightly.
Mawile smacked her head. She was missing the point.
000
Dragonite took a few deep breaths. "Okay…I'm gonna do it."
"Good, because that was TWENTY minutes, not ten," mumbled Gengar.
"I'm gonna ask her out!"
"Go get 'em tiger!" shouted Zubat. Dragonite nodded then walked over to the door.
"CAMPERS! MEET ME IN THE MESS HALL IN FIVE MINUTES!" shouted Mew's voice over the intercom.
Dragonite groaned. Lapras opened the door.
"Oh, hey Dragonite," she said, smiling. "Were you going to come in?"
"That is…I…I was just…going to tell you…that we have a challenge?" said Dragonite, grinning.
Gengar smacked his face. "Weak."
"Oh, well…I heard Mew…what's with the flowers?" asked Lapras.
"Oh…Zubat wanted some…right Zubat?" asked Dragonite.
"Yup…I wanted flowers," mumbled Zubat.
"Oh, okay…well, let's go see what Mew has in store for us," said Lapras, moving past the three boys.
They just watched her go. Gengar frowned and smacked Dragonite.
000
"Good afternoon, campers!" shouted Mew.
"It's 11 o'clock, so it can't be 'afternoon, genius'," said Cacturne, his voice laced with sarcasm. Gardevoir and Banette giggled.
"Ignoring the sarcastic sociopath…"
"I am NOT a sociopath," growled Cacturne.
"You're antisocial; good enough," retorted Mew. "Anyway…today's challenge is a simple game of Hide and Seek!"
"The rules are simple, losers!" shouted Mewtwo. "I hunt you down by any means necessary…the last person I find wins it for their team! Got it?"
"Get out there! You have a minute to hide!" shouted Mew.
000
Bellsprout, Lileep, and Oddish all dug their way underground. The left their leaves and flowers above ground so they looked like flowers.
000
Zubat flew up into a cave.
000
Gengar grinned as he crawled into a chimney.
000
Weavile crawled under a canoe, while nearby, Charmeleon climbed a tree. Rhydon hide near Weavile under a larger boat.
000
Kadabra smirked, pulling out a giant, fake cardboard rock. There was an opening under it, so Kadabra could hide under it, as well as a hole for breathing.
000
"I MIGHT'VE looked at Mew's challenge schedule, and I may have just planned ahead a little," said the Psi Pokémon, smirking.
000
Dragonite hid in the outhouse bathroom, locking the door. Not just to hide, but he really needed the bathroom too.
Banette kicked the door. "I want to use the confessional!"
"Sorry, you'll have to wait!"
Banette groaned, and he and Mismagius went to go hide in a bush together.
000
Scizor crawled into a hole in a hollow tree.
000
Swinub was freaking out. "What do I do?"
000
Cacturne grabbed a straw, looked down at the water, and hopped in, submerging himself. He placed the straw in his mouth so he could breathe, and only the tip of his hat emerged from the water. He began to swim further away from the camper, to the swampier side of the island.
000
Clefairy threw herself under the covers of her bed. Mawile, on the other hand, hid UNDER her bed.
"We really need to get better ideas," remarked the Deceiver Pokémon.
000
Houndoom crawled into a log in the middle of the woods.
000
Gardevoir hid under the dock that led to Wailords of Losers. Weavile eyed her from under canoe…if she had to, she could give away Gardevoir's spot.
000
Wooper and Kabutops dove into the water, staying under. Lapras tried to follow them, but she wasn't fast. Mewtwo's voice rang out from the entrance to the kitchen. Desperately, she tried hiding behind a tree.
"Ready or not, losers, here I- Lapras, really?" asked the mutant.
"I had nowhere else I could go!" she protested, annoyed.
"Riiiight," muttered Mewtwo. "Let's see…"
He proceed to go through every cabin. When he went into the Great Groudons' Girls' Cabin, he came out holding a struggling Mawile and Clefairy.
"You brats stay in the center of camp!" he growled.
Wooper peeked above the water for a moment, and saw Mewtwo. Mewtwo whirled around, but Wooper disappeared into the water again.
Underwater, Kabutops folded his arms. "Did he see you?" the Shellfish Pokémon asked.
"I don't know!" said Wooper. "But there's no way he can come out here and find us!"
On the shore, Mewtwo was holding a fishing rod. With a mighty swing, he cast out his line.
Back underwater, Kabutops and Wooper were chatting.
"So, what are the Great Groudons like?"
"They're okay, but Weavile's alliance is pretty mean. The Killer Kyogres?"
"They're all pretty cool people…they seem a bit nicer than your lot, but- Wooper, what's that thing on your head?"
"What thing?" asked Wooper. Kabutops pointed to a fish hook on the pink thing jutting out of Wooper's skull.
"Uh…I don't know what it is," said Wooper. "Looks like a fish- ow!"
The hook began to yank and pull Wooper away.
"OH GOD, HE SAW ME!" yelled Wooper. Desperately, he bit down on Kabutops's arm.
"DON'T TUG ME WITH YOU!" snarled Kabutops.
On the shore, Mewtwo sighed, using telekinesis to reel in the Pokémon. "Got 'em."
After another minute, a soaked Kabutops and Wooper emerged from the water.
"You're both out," said Mewtwo, sounding rather bored. Gardevoir was restraining herself from giggling under the dock. Mewtwo heard a splash under the dock, and looked under. Gardevoir froze when she saw him.
"Nice spot," the co-host commented gruffly. "But you're still out."
Mewtwo wondered where to look next. He walked off.
"Wonder where everyone else is hiding?" asked Wooper, shaking water droplets off.
"Weavile and Rhydon are under the boats," said Gardevoir. "And Gengar is in the chimney…and Dragonite is hiding in the confessional."
Mewtwo was walking past the confessional, when he heard a sigh from inside it.
"Who's in there?" he demanded. "Come out, I've found you!"
Silence.
"I KNOW SOMEONE'S IN THERE!"
Silence.
"Fine…we'll play this the hard way…," growled Mewtwo. He picked up the outhouse with telekinesis and walked towards the mountain, smirking.
When he arrived at the cave, he decided to look inside. He looked up at the ceiling to see Zubat dangling there.
"Uh…hi?" said the bat, grinning.
"You're out."
Sighing, Zubat flew out of the cave.
"Wait a minute Zubat," said Mewtwo, motioning for him to stay. "Watch this."
Smirking, Mewtwo put the outhouse bathroom down on the mountain cliff. Then he gave it a might push and pushed it down the mountain. Mewtwo watched in delight, while Zubat watched in horror. Dragonite's screams could be heard.
"OKAY! YOU FOUND ME! MAKE IT STOP!"
Dragonite hit the bottom of the mountain with a dull thud. Mewtwo waited.
"OH GOD…IT'S EVERYWHERE…IT SMELLS HORRIBLE…DEAR LORD!"
000
Dragonite was covered in, er…waste…and twitching. "NOT! COOL!"
000
After that, Mewtwo, Zubat, and Dragonite made their way back to camp. The others were horrified by what happened to their friendly neighborhood Dragon Pokémon.
"DUDE!" gasped out Wooper. "NO WAY!"
"Yes," moaned Dragonite miserably. "The old outhouse prank!"
"Well, Dragonite!" said Mew, blocking his nose. "You have to go sit in the water, away from everyone else…because you stink!"
Dragonite groaned and walked over to the water.
000
Rhydon was cackling in the confessional. "AHAHAHA…wait…OH MAN, THERE'S STILL SOME ON THE WALLS! GET ME OUT OF HERE!"
000
As Mewtwo got ready to walk away again, he smelled something in the distance. Smoke…fire?
Charmeleon swore as the tree was in was set ablaze by his tail. "Damn my life."
"OY! PYRO!" roared Mewtwo. "GET DOWN FROM THERE!"
Charmeleon flashed him a middle finger, and then got down. Mewtwo was about to go and yell at him for harming the wildlife, when he noticed three strange plants all in a row. One looked like a regular weed…another was yellow and thin…and the last one looked pinkish and weird. Grinning, Mewtwo grabbed the yellow plant and pink plant. He pulled hard and yanked both Bellsprout and Lileep out of the ground.
"That's eleven now!" said Mewtwo, laughing. "I've found half!"
He then looked closely at the weed.
"Well…we don't want weeds all over our island," said the co-host. "Why don't I just have Charmeleon burn it?"
After THAT little comment, Oddish scrambled to get out of the ground as fast as possible.
"Twelve…I'm on a roll."
He noticed something else. Near Charmeleon's charred tree were two boats…one with a long tail sticking out.
"Pathetic," growled Mewtwo. He used his telekinesis to flip that one over. Rhydon swore as he was found. Mewtwo flipped over the second one to find Weavile.
"Fourteen down, eight to go!" rasped Mewtwo. "So I still need to find the pig, the scarecrow, the dog, the bastard, the bastard's girlfriend, the grinning ghost, the red bug, and the smart guy…this'll be pretty tough."
"Oy! Maggots!" shouted Mewtwo. "Help me find them! Except you, Dragonite…stay in the water."
Dragonite let out a sigh of annoyance. The rest of the campers went around the island.
Eventually, Mewtwo found a bush. The co-host noticed it wiggling, and a long gray tail coming out of it. He grinned.
He grabbed the tail and yanked it with all of his might, pulling out Banette and Mismagius, who seemed as if they were TRYING to make out (well, Mismagius was, anyway).
Banette slammed into a tree, and glared at Mewtwo. "Asshole. How many of us are left?"
"Six," said Mewtwo, laughing.
"Well, we both lasted long. We're safe for the night," said Banette.
"Perfect," muttered Mewtwo. "I should've found him first."
000
Kabutops was walking slowly through the forest. He was looking for signs of Swinub, Kadabra, or Scizor…he had already found Houndoom, but he wasn't going to tell Mewtwo that…he wanted his team to win!
He heard a sneeze that sounded as if someone wanted to stifle it…a female voice…but it wasn't Mismagius's, so it had to be.
Scizor's eyes widened as Kabutops found her in the hollow tree. "Found ya, Red."
"So what?" asked Scizor. "You're not Mewtwo."
"Well, ACTUALLY, I've already been found," explained Kabutops, smiling smugly. "We're helping Mewtwo find the rest of the players…and you, Kadabra, and Swinub are the last three for your team."
Scizor swore as she realized his plan. "You wouldn't," she hissed angrily.
"Wouldn't I?" asked Kabutops, laughing.
"Don't even think about it!"
"He's not far off," said Kabutops, still smiling like an asshole. Scizor covered his mouth, but he trapped her hand against a tree. She tried to block him out again, but he pinned that hand to. She attempted to kick him in between the legs, but he blocked it with his own.
Kabutops smirked, while Scizor flailed desperately.
"OH MEW- MMPH!"
In desperation to avoid being found, Scizor kissed him furiously.
Kabutops's eyes widened. Scizor pulled her head away and scowled. But then she smiled.
"Too shocked to say anything?" she asked, laughing. Kabutops scowled.
"Bitch!" he growled, kissing her. Scizor was caught off guard this time, but as Kabutops continued to kiss her, she started to like it. They both fell on the ground.
When Mewtwo arrived five minutes later, he was shocked.
"Kabutops, who did you- WHOA!"
Kabutops and Scizor were rolling all over the ground together, still making out.
"Scizor you've been found-"
"YEAH YEAH, WHATEVER!" hissed Scizor. "GO AND BOTH SOMEONE ELSE, WE'RE BUSY!"
Mewtwo just arched a brow and walked away.
000
Mewtwo folded his arms. "I'm just doing my job! She doesn't have to get all huffy!"
000
As Mewtwo walked away, however, he noticed two things...the first was a footprint, in a path of dirt…it was round and circular. Mewtwo smirked. So Cacturne had been nearby, eh?
The next thing he noticed was a SECOND footprint, within Cacturne's.
"Ah…Kadabra was trying to conceal himself, wasn't he?" said Mewtwo. "Smart…but not smart enough."
Mewtwo followed the foot prints to where they ended…they led into the water. Kadabra's footprints disappeared all together.
"So Kadabra switch paths at this point," muttered Mewtwo. "Probably started to levitate…but Cacturne is in the water?"
Mewtwo picked up a large amount of tiny pebbles, and tossed them into the water with his psychic powers. But nothing emerged or came up.
"Cacturne WAS here…I've just got to find him…"
With that, Mewtwo began to float across the water.
Cacturne, meanwhile, was still underwater, breathing through the straw. He had no idea how long it had been since he started out down here. Hours?
He glimpsed a shadow passing over him, and he completely stopped moving.
Mewtwo continued to fly, until he noticed something strange. There was a plant that looked like bamboo emerging from the water. Floating closer, he noticed that it was a straw. Mewtwo shook his head. Ingenious.
Mewtwo put his thumb over the opening of the straw. Cacturne let out a gulp as his air was cut off. Maybe if he stayed still long enough…
But it wasn't going to happen. Pushing himself up, Cacturne emerged from the water, gasping for air.
"You picked the best hiding spot so far," growled Mewtwo. "Very impressive. Even if you don't win, you have my respect."
"Thanks…," muttered Cacturne, as Mewtwo lifted him out of the water. "How many left?"
"Only four now," growled Mewtwo. "And I know where I'm going to look."
000
Kadabra was still hidden beneath his cardboard rock. Those fools still hadn't found him…perfect.
But then Kadabra stopped and thought a moment. What if Mewtwo DID find him? And what if the co-host wondered how Kadabra knew that a rock model would be helpful?
Kadabra swore. He had completely overlooked the fact that Mew and Mewtwo may question why he had had such a PERFECT replica ready at the PERFECT time. And even though he had temporarily disabled the cameras, he would still be in trouble.
Cursing, Kadabra removed himself from underneath his cardboard disguise. Hastily, he hid the thing up in the branches of a tree…he would be able to use it later if he needed it.
A few moments later, he heard voices. Kadabra decided to float up onto a branch, and into a tree. He looked down. Mewtwo emerged, with a wet Cacturne at his side. Kadabra exhaled in relief. Just in time.
"Kadabra, I've found you," growled Mewtwo, hearing Kadabra take a breath. "Get down."
Kadabra nodded, floating down.
The three of them continued to walk until Mewtwo found a log. Grinning, the psychic grabbed a long stick and shoved it in there. A loud yip told them that Houndoom had been found, as the dog rushed to get out of the fallen tree.
"Did you have to hit me?" asked the dog.
"Yup."
Mewtwo, Cacturne, Houndoom, and Kadabra headed back to camp, where Mewtwo called all of the campers back.
"All right, losers, listen up!" shouted Mewtwo. "Only two campers are left! Swinub and Gengar are somewhere on this island, and we've got to find them!"
Gengar snickered. He still hadn't been found.
"You STILL haven't found Swinub?" asked Weavile, rolling her eyes. "Isn't it OBVIOUS where he is?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Mewtwo.
"He's in the kitchen. Duh."
"Weavile!" hissed Scizor.
"GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT!" roared Mewtwo. "HE WAS THERE ALL ALONG!"
Gengar was sniggering loudly now. Suddenly, he inhaled quickly. Gengar's nose twitched. He was about to…about to.
"ACHOO!" sneezed Gengar, shooting out of the chimney. He landed on the ground in front of Mewtwo and the others.
"Well, Gengar…you're found, I guess," said Mewtwo.
"Great…the pig beat me," muttered Gengar.
"Well, let's get in the kitchen and get him," said Mawile, sighing.
She, Wooper, and Mewtwo walked into the kitchen. Five minutes later, they emerged.
"He wasn't in there," said Mewtwo.
"He WASN'T?" asked Lapras.
"SWINUB! GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE!" roared Mewtwo.
Silence. Then a door opened, and Mew floated out of his cabin, Swinub at his side. They were both eating potato chips.
"What's up guys?" asked Swinub, laughing.
"You were hiding…with Mew? That means he was found all along!" shouted Mismagius.
"Nuh-uh," said Mew, wagging a finger in an annoying fashion. "Technically, I said MEWTWO has to find you…Mewtwo never came inside my cabin, but Swinub did, because I wasn't the seeker. So basically, while you all were rushing to find a hiding place, Swinub and I just kicked back, relaxed, and watched you all go crazy."
Wooper frowned. "Why didn't you invite me, Swinub?"
Swinub smiled sheepishly. "You'd already dived into the water."
"So, the Great Groudons win, but Swinub…seeing that you are COMPLETELY AWESOME today…why don't you pick one member of the Killer Kyogres to get immunity?"
Swinub paused and thought for a moment. "Well…I say, Cacturne. He had a pretty awesome hiding spot."
"Where'd you hide?" asked Kabutops. Cacturne explained.
"Wow…in a swamp, underwater?" asked Banette. "Damn."
Cacturne just tilted his hat down. "Well, let's just say I'm taking a shower."
"Sorry, Cacturne, Dragonite is going to be taking showers all night," said Mew. "Well, Kyogres, meet me down at the campfire for another elimination!"
000
It was elimination time again. This time, however, NO ONE knew who was going home. The only one who truly thought he was safe was Cacturne, and that was because he had invincibility. Dragonite feared that he would be leaving because of his stench, Gengar for sneezing and losing the challenge, Lapras for being found easily, Gardevoir and Kabutops for being found right after Lapras, Banette and Mismagius for having crappy hiding places, Houndoom for what happened two episodes ago, and Bellsprout because…he was Bellsprout. Mew certainly wasn't making it any better.
"Campers…it is your fifth elimination ceremony for this team. And in front of me, I have twelve campers, and eleven Pokeblocks."
"Twelve?" asked Lileep. "There are thirteen members of this team!"
"Dragonite is still in the river, but we've already given him his Pokeblock. He wasn't eliminated tonight…unlike one of YOU!"
Everyone shuddered.
"So, let's begin!" shouted Mew. "Cacturne, since you've got immunity, you come up first."
Cacturne slowly walked up, while Mew continued.
"Bellsprout!"
"O-oh…th-thanks!"
"Gardevoir."
"Phew…"
"Banette."
"YES!"
"Oddish!"
"Sweet!"
"Mismagius."
"That's good."
"That's seven of you who are safe tonight," said Mew, smiling at the remaining campers. Houndoom was tense. Gengar frowned. Lapras looked scared.
"Zubat, you're safe too."
"Yes!"
"And…Lileep."
"Kabutops."
"Well, that isn't bad!"
It was down to the final three. "And…Houndoom."
Houndoom got up, looking back at Gengar in fright. He didn't want to lose his alliance leader!
"Lapras, you were found first in today's challenge, but Gengar, while you were found last, your sneeze caused your team to be here tonight. The question is…which of you is safe, and which of you is NOT?"
Lapras was tense. Gengar's eyes were wide.
"The last Pokeblock…"
Lapras twitched. Gengar clenched his fists.
"Goes to…"
Houndoom's tail was swishing back and forth. Zubat held his breath.
"…Gengar."
"Whew," said Gengar, wiping his face.
"Me?" asked Lapras. "Why am I going home?"
"Sorry, Lapras," said Kabutops, shrugging. "You were found quickly, and well…last challenge, you weren't that good…same with the dancing…and you didn't even participate in the singing…so yeah."
"I'm really sorry," said Mismagius, her voice genuine.
Lapras sighed. "I understand…thanks, you guys…I've had a good time."
She gently slid herself down to board her Wailord.
As she was about to hop on, a voice called out to her. "LAPRAS!"
Lapras was putting her suitcase down when she saw Dragonite, still in the water. "What is it?"
The Wailord began to float away.
"I LIKE YOU A LOT!" yelled Dragonite. "WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?"
Lapras blushed. Wasn't this romantic? Horrible timing, but…
"YES! I'D LOVE TO GO OUT WITH YOU!" she called back. "GOOD LUCK!"
Dragonite continued waving, before sighing. "I confessed my feelings but…now she's gone…aw man, this sucks."
000
Lapras was still blushing. "Wow…awful timing, Dragonite," she said, shaking her head. Then she smiled at the camera.
"If he, Mismagius, or Gardevoir wins, then I'll be happy…the three of them are such nice people…so yeah, good luck, team! Go Killer Kyogres!"
000
Gengar let out a gasp of relief. "That was WAY too close."
000
Gardevoir frowned. "Lapras is my friend, but Cacturne told us that it was better to vote her off than Gengar- after all, it wasn't Gengar's fault he sneezed."
000
"Pssst…Wooper!" whispered Swinub, shuffling towards his friend.
"What is it?" asked Wooper. The rest of the guys were asleep. Not even Kadabra, who often feigned sleep to eavesdrop, wasn't awake.
"Come outside! I have to tell you something!"
The two of them walked outside.
"Keep this between us," ordered Swinub, his voice low.
"Yeah, dude, sure…"
"Well, listen. You know how I hid with Mew. And I watched the other campers on camera?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, we didn't see Kadabra…at ALL! He was never on camera until Mewtwo found him."
"Isn't that how it works?"
"No, I mean, we never saw him HIDE…or even move across the island…but some of the cameras went down at certain times…I think he cheated to try and win this challenge."
Wooper took a sharp breath. Kadabra was cheating?
000
Well, there we go. The first SHOCKING ceremony, I think.
Lapras…good contestant, but she doesn't seem like the "go all the way" type, does she? She was kind, friendly, and mature (well, she was sort of cold to Houndoom), but all in all, not a bad girl. But now that she's gone, Gardevoir and Cacturne are pretty much the last two mature members of the Killer Kyogres (well, then again, Oddish and Lileep are pretty good).
Kadabra is cheating? Gasp! Well, now Wooper and Swinub know. The question is, will the clever psychic finally get caught? Find out next time on TOTAL…POKÉMON…ISLAND!
Next Episode: First it was tag. Then it was Hide and Seek. And now it's a shoot out. Watch the campers go head to head trying to shoot each other in the next challenge!
Lapras: Review, good readers! Please!