Hello again!

Two updates in one week…I'm not sure I've ever done that.

I get most of my inspiration from songs…so I wanted to share a few of the songs that inspired this chapter and most of the story in general.

Snuff—Slipknot

Wicked Game—particularly the Stone Sour version

Hesitate—also by Stone Sour

The lyrics and emotions in those songs really get to me and I enjoyed making this chapter come to life.

Enjoy!

Chapter 14: The Fight

Kyo was restless and couldn't sleep—not for lack of trying, though—no, he was exhausted. But anxious thoughts and what-ifs crept into his mind. He hadn't voiced it earlier, but he had felt there was something the softly dozing boy beside him wasn't being fully forthcoming about. Kyo was no longer afraid of Akito, but Yuki was, as if he knew something that Kyo didn't. He had snuggled up behind Yuki, trying to put it out of his mind, but he couldn't erase the image of those violet eyes staring back at him, full of fear and uncertainty. And yet, whatever it was, they had vowed to face it together.

Together.

That one word had been his undoing, and a rush of heat came over him, recalling the way they had both given themselves freely and completely to one another. It hadn't been their first time, but it had felt different—more….desperate, almost like a goodbye. Maybe it was—after all, Akito was unpredictable at best. He felt a stirring in his core and almost woke the sleeping rat to do it all over again. Instead, he nuzzled the boy's ear and drifted into a fitful slumber, saying a silent prayer.

He awoke a few short hours later, the sky beginning to lighten outside his bedroom window. He gently withdrew his tangled limbs from around the beautiful boy and took a moment to wonder at Yuki's peaceful expression, tenderly reaching out to graze the back of his hand over his smooth cheek. Kyo rose quietly from the bed, pulled on jeans and a t-shirt and was about to head downstairs when he remembered the omamori sitting on the bedside table next to the small figurine Yuki had given him. He pocketed the small talisman and retreated to the roof to watch the sunrise, for what very well could be the last time, if everything went to hell later.

. . .

Yuki stirred from his slumber and rolled over to find Kyo's side of the bed empty. The sun was already streaming through the shades and he knew, without needing to ask, where the cat had disappeared to so early in the morning.

He had slept surprisingly well, all things considered. But now that he was awake, those same fears and anxiety from the night before tumbled through his head.

Ugh. Get it together already. There was no going back. He had made his decision. Loving Kyo was worth whatever came next. If the price he had to pay was taking Kyo's place and lifting that boy's burden, then he was happy to do it. The problem was that Kyo would never see it that way, and would never willingly allow Yuki to make such a sacrifice on his behalf—not anymore, anyway. And so Yuki found himself backed into a corner.

Yuki slid out from underneath the covers, grabbed his clothes from the floor and headed to his bedroom for a new pair before heading down the hall to the bathroom. He needed to be as alert as possible. He hoped a cold shower would do the trick, and clear his mind in the process.

Footsteps sounded on the stairs and Kyo's head popped up over the top rung. The boy smiled at him, saying endearingly, "Hey you. I thought I heard movement up here. Shishou says we need to get going…." he trailed off.

"I was thinking of hopping in the shower quick."

Kyo's answering grin was enough to make Yuki's toes curl. "In that case…Mind if I join you? I didn't want to leave yet, anyway."

He answered with a quick nod, cheeks flushing at the mere thought. I guess that's one way to clear my mind. If these were some of the last happy moments he was to have with the boy he loved, then yes, the main house could definitely wait.

. . .

The two boys proudly walked hand in hand through the Sohma Estate grounds, with Kazuma following behind them, looking sullen and withdrawn. Making their way into the central gardens, primarily used for summer picnics or celebrations, Yuki gave the other boy's hand a tight squeeze as they beheld the crowd gathered by the pagoda.

Kyo spied Kagura standing off to the side with Hatsuharu and the rest of the zodiac members, all of them with varying expressions of anger, resentment, and regret. Kyo no longer blamed them though, and acknowledging that change in himself, he was grateful for their presence—their support.

They paused before pushing their way through. Kazuma wrapped Kyo in a tight, fatherly embrace, and then reached out for Yuki to join. The three of them stood there for a few moments in the embrace, before separating. Yuki and Kyo proceeded through the gathered assembly—family members and groundskeepers alike—still clutching each other's hands in reassurance.

The head of the family was waiting for them, livid with impatience. "You think you can just make me wait like this? With no consequences? Just who do you think you are?" the woman shrieked, approaching them rapidly and shoving the two boys apart.

"Save it, Akito," the cat retorted. "We're here now so let's just get this over with."

"Don't speak to me!" she snapped. "You filthy monster. Soon you will learn your place in this family."

Kyo's crimson eyes met Yuki's for a moment, and he watched the boy shake his head as if to say, "Don't make this worse." Kyo said nothing more and waited for Akito to say whatever it was she needed to say.

"What, cat got your tongue?" Akito taunted, but Kyo remained silent with his head held high. She huffed, before finally striding back to her bench. She took a moment to compose herself before announcing sweetly to those gathered around, "We are gathered here today to witness a monumental affair! You see, Kyo here, made a bet with me years ago that if he beats Yuki in a fight, he gets to become a true member of the zodiac. Isn't that lovely?" She clasped her hands together in mock celebration, and earned a few snickers from the vicinity. It was enough to set Kyo's blood boiling. "Well…what are you waiting for? FIGHT!"

Kyo approached Yuki and leaned down to touch foreheads. "I love you," he whispered, just loud enough for only Yuki to hear.

Yuki smiled softly, "I love you, too…stupid cat," and earned a cheeky grin from the boy. Kyo turned to walk away, but the rat gripped his arm firmly, "Just imagine it's another one of our training sessions." Kyo nodded in agreement and stepped away to face Yuki from a few feet away.

Yuki dared a sidelong glance at the head of the family, who looked both disgusted and smug at the same time, and lounged leisurely on her bench. He also noticed that she was drumming her fingers impatiently against her temple, and took a moment to gloat inwardly. He felt a sense of satisfaction at having made her wait, but he was ready for this—and looking at the boy before him, he knew Kyo was ready as well.

They both took up their fighting stances—arms raised and bodies angled in a standard defensive position.

"Alright rat-boy, come and get me!" Kyo goaded, and the two boys began circling each other, getting closer with each pass. Kyo, having learned to practice patience and wait for his opponent to show weakness or make a mistake, feigned a few jabs and tossed around some taunts. Despite not wanting to go through with this at all, he couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement as he readied himself for the fight to take shape. He could see it in Yuki's eyes, too—the thrill of the fight—and he put everything else out of his mind, focusing only on winning.

Yuki was done with the feigning and stalling, "Is that all you got?" He ducked low and exploded forward, catching the cat off guard and swiftly tackling him to the ground. Yuki distantly heard some gasps and cheers from around him, but paid them no heed. He efficiently straddled his opponent and punched him across the jaw, purposely avoiding the nose and eyes. Kyo's arms were still free, however, and he utilized that moment after Yuki threw his weight forward to catch him off balance and launch him sideways into the gravel.

Both boys rolled over swiftly and bounded lithely to their feet, sizing each other up once again. Yuki threw a punch that was blocked effortlessly, and sidestepped to avoid the retaliating knee to the groin. Kyo collected himself quickly, not wanting to be caught off guard once again. He aimed an elbow up into Yuki's chin, and was able to spin out into a roundhouse kick before Yuki recovered from the facial blow, sending him flying backward onto the ground.

Damn, Yuki thought with pride upon hearing more gasps from the gathered crowd. He thought about letting Kyo end the fight right then and there but, remembering his lover's words from the night before, forced himself to hop to his feet once again before Kyo could pin him to the ground. Yuki circled around Kyo and aimed a foot into Kyo's chest, knocking the breath from his lungs. Kyo pushed through the lack of air to swing his dominant arm into a mock jab, following up with a left uppercut into the rat's gut. Yuki toppled to the ground, gasping for air and doubling over in pain. Damn, again.

He glanced up to see Kyo also bent double and frantically dragging air into his lungs, clutching at his chest. Beyond the orange haired boy Yuki caught sight of Akito, no longer looking smug, and no longer sitting on her bench. She was pacing nervously. Her malevolent gaze shifted to meet his own and she smirked, cunning and wicked, and it sent a wave of fear and nausea through his entire being. Images of a whip cracking in a dark room filled his mind, and he felt himself beginning to tremble slightly. He shook his head violently to banish the thoughts, unsuccessfully. Kyo was beginning to recover his breath, and they circled up once again.

They were both becoming fatigued—this fight would not last much longer. Kyo told himself to wait, to let Yuki make the first move, but he could feel it in his bones—he was winning this fight, and he was confident that he could end it. Kyo vaulted forward, intending to tackle Yuki to the ground. At the last moment, he realized that was exactly what the other boy would be expecting, and switched tactics mid-stride. His hesitation was a mistake. At that moment a fist connected with his jaw and he stumbled backward a step.

Yuki closed the gap and swung two quick jabs in succession, both connecting with Kyo's nose, blood spurting in various directions. Stop. You are taking this too far. A voice nagged from the back of his mind, but all he could see was darkness. All he could hear was the sound of the whip cracking.

Something was wrong. Kyo felt the edges of his vision begin to blur.

Yuki barely registered the pain in his own knuckles. He swung again, aiming an uppercut to Kyo's chin. Don't do this. He was no longer in control—and he was no longer holding back. He watched as Kyo flew swiftly through the air, orange hair blazing and eyes widening in alarm. The cat crumpled to the ground in a heap.

In the distance someone screamed, "NO!"

Kyo was fighting to stay conscious, but it was too much for him. He dared one last look at the silver haired boy standing over him, chest heaving and hands trembling. "Yu….ki…" he managed to groan before the world went black.

. . .

Akito smiled triumphantly as Kyo failed to rise from the hard ground and Yuki collapsed to his knees, mere feet away from the crimson eyed boy he loved so much. "Take the monster away."

She sauntered over to Yuki as two of the male groundskeepers dragged Kyo away, Hatori, Kazuma and Kagura following close behind. Yuki stared helplessly after, until he no longer saw that flash of vibrant orange hair, and the rest of the onlookers had parted from the yard—all but Akito.

The head of the family placed her frail palm on Yuki's head, still damp with sweat. Yuki was trembling. "There, there," Akito crooned. "I knew you would make the right choice in the end." Yuki couldn't speak—couldn't think—barely registering his former lover's hand resting in mock sincerity on the crown of his head. He was rooted to the spot, unable to do anything. Icy laughter filled his ears as Akito grasped the fine hairs at the nape of his neck and yanked his head back, forcing him to look at her. He was unable to look away, trapped in her dark, uncaring gaze—all cold hostility and heartlessness—how had he ever fallen for her tricks? Tears pooled along his lower lashes against his will, and he fought to keep them contained. He couldn't give her the satisfaction of seeing him cry—couldn't let her see how broken he was. But it didn't matter, because in the next moment one of those tears slid silently down his cheek, giving him away.

"How pathetic," Akito sneered and gripped him harder for a moment, leaning forward so their noses were nearly touching. "I told you there would be consequences," and then she released him violently, flinging him almost face first into the dirt. "Clean yourself up, rat." And with that, she stalked away.

Yuki sat up slowly, surveying the blood drying on his knuckles—Kyo's blood.

What have I done?

His shoulders slumped and he buried his face in his hands, sobs tearing from his throat and tears pooling on the ground beneath him.

My God, what have I done?

. . .

"It's all your fault!" father bellowed. "You filthy monster, you are the reason she is dead!"

"It's not…It's not…IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" he cried, tugging his father's sleeve and begging him to look at him—to hug him—anything other than the words he was saying. He father backhanded him across the cheek, sending the small child tumbling to the floor.

"You don't deserve to go on living. You aren't worthy of love! I wish you had never been born!"

"Father…Why? Why are you saying these things?"

His father was silent for a moment. "She would still be alive if she had never given birth to a monster like you," he spat and walked out of the room.

The room dissolved into fog and suddenly his mother was kneeling in front of him. "Mom, why can't I go out and play?"

"Because I love you silly! And I want you all to myself!"

The scene began to change again and there was blood—so much blood. Mother's wrists. She was so weak. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that his mother was dying.

She stretched out a shaky, bloody hand towards him. "This…is all…your fault," she gasped. "I won't…forgive…don't love…you."

"Mother? Mother, no!" the boy screamed. "I'm sorry… I'M SORRY!" He was sobbing, "Don't….DON'T LEAVE ME!"

"MOTHER…WAKE UP!"

"MOTHER PLEASE! Please…just wake up…"

"Mother!" Kyo gasped, bolting upright from a makeshift cot. The tears still clung to his cheeks, and he was drenched in sweat, panting heavily. He felt the familiar tug of stitches and gauze of bandages clinging to his face, but that's not what had startled him. He hadn't dreamt of his mother in months, so why now?

"Kyo."

Yuki. He'd recognize that voice anywhere. Didn't even realize he needed to hear that voice. And then it all came flooding back to him. The fight. He should have won…no, he was winning. And then…then…. He registered the hands that gripped the bars of the door to the hallway, still covered in dried, cracked blood—his blood—and glanced up to see the boy who had betrayed him in those final, vital moments. Something had changed at the end, because now he was here, in that room—the room designed specifically for him—for Kyo, the monster. And Yuki was free. Together, he reflected bitterly, expelling a breath of hot air through gritted teeth. He wished he could reach through those bars and strangle the boy he had given himself to—the boy he had loved.

He felt his heart shattering, and his hope vanishing. fury. Betrayal. Helplessness. It all threatened to consume him.

"Get out," Kyo spoke with lethal calm, glaring daggers at the rat.

He saw Yuki shift closer to the bars, but the boy still couldn't—or wouldn't—look at him. "Kyo…please, let me explain." His voice was pleading, and full of shame.

"I SAID GET OUT!" Kyo was trembling, barely able to contain the emotions that overwhelmed him.

Yet Yuki made no move to leave. "I won't. Not until you hear what I have to say."

Kyo could no longer restrain himself. He leapt swiftly from the cot, ignoring the pain in his side—likely a broken rib—and approached the door, fists clenched at his sides. He was seething, eyes flashing scarlet in the dim lighting. "What—could you—possibly—have—to say to me?"

"I'm sorry," Yuki breathed, finally risking a glance up into those crimson eyes that were now looking at him with hatred, and he knew the look in those eyes would haunt him.

"Save it for someone who cares." The cat slammed his fist into the brick and mortar next to the door, and slumped against the wall, facing away from the rat. "I can't even stand to look at you."

Yuki considered his next words carefully. "Just listen then. You don't have to speak…or look at me…" When Kyo didn't respond, Yuki continued, "This wasn't what I had planned. Akito…she threatened that if I lost, it would be me locked away in this room. I've known since the day I told you the truth, and yet I couldn't bring myself to tell you this part of it, because I didn't want to add to your burden. I should have let you be the judge of that. If I had, maybe we could have figured a way out of this. But I didn't…I thought I could bear your fate for you…as long as you were free," his voice cracked and he was silent for a few minutes. "But then I saw her, at the end. The way she looked at me…I…I panicked," he whispered again, choking on the word. He was silent for a few excruciating moments, hoping Kyo would speak. "You can hate me. It won't matter, because no one hates me more than I hate myself right now."

Kyo remained silent on the inside of his cell, head resting against the wall, staring at the dark ceiling. Hot tears ran silently down his face. He could taste the salt on his lips; feel the sting as the warm liquid made contact with his various cuts. But he made no move to wipe them away. The other boy's confession resonated within him, tugging at his heart, and begging him to offer forgiveness. But the fact of the matter was that Yuki had lied—had refused to trust Kyo with that secret. He had believed the promises made, and in the end, the rat had only sold him out to save himself, just like in the original tale of the Zodiac banquet. It didn't matter why Yuki had done it. He just had.

You are nothing but a filthy monster.

You are not worthy of love.

It was true. He was cursed. He was alone. And he was no longer free.

"I'll fix this," drifted Yuki's soft voice from outside, stirring him back to the present.

Kyo almost laughed at the thought. It was just another meaningless promise that he could not afford to be deceived by. "You can't," he managed to speak past the solid lump in the back of his throat.

"I will," he swore.

Fuck you and your promises, he thought to himself. But all he managed to utter, broken and weary, was, "Leave."

Wooftah.

Talk about emotional rollercoaster.

Drop a review and let me know what you think!

Love Always, Aya Mae