Chapter 14: I am and always will be...

A/N: Sorry for the long wait! And Sorry if this chapter isn't as good. It was tipped at one in the morning. I don't own Legend of Korra, but I do own Kallik, Bear and Fochik.

I left you when you were barely a few months old. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make. That year. On that day I lost so much. My uncle Aang, my mother, Tenzin and so many more friends and family, but I did get the reassurance that you would be safe. Even if I did pay dearly. Thinking back I wondered if I would ever be able to tell the truth. That I give birth to my airbender. The whole truth, but some things were better kept a secret.

I remembered everything after that. The battle. The bloodshed. The attack was seen well before it came, but the warriors were so strong. Almost undefeatable, but everything has its flaws and weaknesses. They might be hidden, but it was there.

I don't think of myself as one to have weaknesses, but I did. It was you. I was told that it wasn't a bad thing. That was correct it was my greatest strength. You were my greatest strength. If it weren't able to manipulate. It was and my strength plummeted. The result? Me telling myself I wouldn't cry when I turned away from you, but I did and no one had the right to think any less of me. They didn't know. How Pema never realized that Jinora wasn't her daughter was rather strange. I didn't blame her. She was her father's child, but I know there is something else. I always knew and it was getting rather obvious. I have to tell that both Korra and my problem with Fochik were intertwined.

After that I would go to Air Temple Island at night , watch you be given the love and care I couldn't provide. That my scarred and somewhat cold heart couldn't give. It made the biggest wound I ever had. A stab, a cut ,a tear in my heart...In my soul. It was a pain I wouldn't want to have again. No matter what I did or tried it will always be there

Regret? No! Never I didn't regret doing what I did. I don't regret. How would you feel if I told you that? Will you understand? Or will you reject me? It's funny, I wouldn't blame you.

I explained to you. I was your mother ,yes. You believed me. You knew I wouldn't lie, but I can see some doubt lingering in your eyes. The eyes that holds the same determination and other qualities of the Beifongs. You are a Beifong no matter what your power might consist of.

It was on your sixth birthday when you were discovered to be an airbender. By blowing a candle, you shot the cake in Pema's face. Your doings were the only thing that could take this sadness I had away. Even if it was just for a little while. I felt relieved, but also upset. I was dealing with the thought that you won't never knew of your past and whole family.

That a sense of being different would drift away along with your faint memories of me. I was there when you least expected. In the background, hiding in the shadows.

I was there at your birthdays and some other occasions. At your birthday. The real date you were born. I would leave a nameless birthday card at your bed. Leaving them thinking it was one they missed. With a discussed hand writing of course. Tenzin knows too much about me, but not everything.

Like us Beifongs your training didn't come that easily. You struggled with patience and with your airbending. I heard you couldn't get past the air gates for a long time. You were upset, Tenzin was worried and it broke me bit by bit. Knowing that I couldn't give you the comfort you desperately needed.

It took quite some time, but you mastered the air gates in a month or so. I didn't always had to be at the Temple to know, like I would've preferred. Newspapers and reporters did that for me. I had a job to do. Keeping the City safe so that I knew you were too, but for how much longer?

What will happen when I am not there? My mother had to deal with the same thought. She said that motherhood will change you. It will make you panic at even the smallest of things. Their cry of help will make you drop anything you are doing, just to see that they are save.

Your child is your whole world. The world seem to darken without them in your presence, but when you see them and their accomplishments, their innocent smile that becomes all you care about.

One question is constantly haunting me. Was I ever a mother to you?

Perhaps, but I was never a mom. Will I ever be?

There is one thing I know we can bond over...reading. You love being able to know. To explore. I used to read to my mother a lot. It is the time I can spend with you were we won't be alerting anyone or looking suspicious.

I wanted so much more. I wanted to love you ,while keeping your family and me tighter. I had to restrain myself. Your safety will always be first. My needs will come last. It has been that way ever since I took my place as Chief and your pare- mother.

I walked into the kitchen at one of the beach houses we were staying at. The pit stop? None other than Ember Island and their accursed plays. Filled the past couple of days. Korra and her friends were have already gone out. Tenzin, his wife and Rohan were still sleeping.

The ship had to refuelled and repaired. That Avatar decided on a reunion. By starting it with her crashing a against the boat along with a wave of water.

How knows why she decided to take off. I still can't believe the Lion-Turtle didn't mould her.

I didn't mind the break from the ocean. The time I spent without my element was getting to me.

'I'm getting soft.' I thought dryly. 'This is not what I need.' That thought disappeared when I saw my daughter...reading as usual. She looked up and smiled at me.

Mind reading it with me?" She asked.

"What book is it?" I took a seat next to her.

"The most historical love saga ever written."

"Again. You are filling your head with too much of that mushy romantic novels. Of course I will read it with you." I smiled.

"You know .That mushy romantic business is what brought you and my fa-"
"Chapter 12:" I began, wanting to avoid the subject.

"How did you met? Was it romantic? Did you visit a volcano?"

Still ignoring the questions I went on."The heroine hurried over to -"

"When was your first kiss."

"Start reading. Or you will the one going down a volcano."

She laughed and confidently declared."I'd like to see you try. You won't even be able to catch me"

"I'm Chief of Police. I can do anything."

"That makes me the future Chief of Police." Her expression became a bit more serious. As if trying to represent an authority figure.

I gently shoved her and couldn't help, but think: 'We may not have much but, if reading was all we had. I will cling to it until my last breath.'

A/N: You can't possibly tell me that, that wasn't touching. Or likeable at least. Sorry if Lin was a bit out of character, but it is true being a mother does change you so I had to tweak her emotions a bit. Please don't hate me. More Lin and Jinora will be coming. Korra and Kallik have had their spotlight for this part and will return with their doings later in part 2. Please review. Do I really not deserve a review?