Author's Note: dies

Well first of all, let's correct the little error in the last chapter. This is of course the fourteenth chapter. Not the last one as I so brilliantly stated. God. I'm getting dumber by the minute. Must be all this prolonged exposure to my brother now that he doesn't get to piss off to school anymore.

snigger

Mirage

What was I meant tell him?

Did I tell him the truth about my relationship with Gaara? How he had saved me life? How he had admitted his feelings to me that night three years ago on the rooftops of Sungakure? That couldn't be the solution, surely. It would destroy Suigetsu, and in turn, destroy me. The Houzuki was considerate for a murderer – I found that old feature still to be true – and I doubted he would stand in my way if I did ever go back to the Kazekage. But he would always be there, and I would know how he still felt, because I had heard him swear that it would never change.

I knew I loved Suigetsu. I would not have done all that I had if I didn't. I would not be traveling with the stupidest Uchiha unless I could have him any other way. I had tried to repress my thoughts of Gaara, enlisting in Itachi's mind-altering abilities to help me, but the persistent redhead always broke through. At times I managed to hide him, deep at the back of my mind – mostly when I was training, or too much mess had been made by my teammates that I was still obliged to clean up.

Now I was faced with a question that would have been so simple if asked by anyone else. I thought for a bit. Who was Gaara? He was a ninja – a very good one. He was the leader of Sunagakure. He was the youngest of three children, and his father and mother were dead. His life had been a hard, painful one, and he swore that he would kill to make himself feel alive, until Uzumaki Naruto brought him to his senses.

That was him literally. But I knew Suigetsu was asking who he was to me.

I should have no trouble telling people about Sabaku no Gaara; but now, the boy that rested so calmly on my lap had asked the only question with the real ability to tear us both apart.

"Gaara is…. He's…" Usually lies, excuses and cover up stories came to me as smoothly as the water in one of my techniques. But I didn't appreciate being dishonest with the Houzuki.

"I'll know if you're lying, Katsumi-chan," he murmured, eyes closed and lips barely moving. My hand grasped his silky hair tightly. If it bothered him, it did not show.

He wasn't joking. He would know if I was lying or not. I could feel myself getting defensive, anger rising thick in my throat. We'd been together only a day, and still there were so many things we hadn't said. Did he even appreciate my search that spanned almost a decade to get back to him? Did he miss me truthfully? If so, how much? How had he even found out about Gaara anyway?

When I asked, he replied with an easy sidestep of my question, once again addressing his own. "You haven't answered me properly."

"What's it to you?" I snapped, shifting from under him so that his head fell to the ground. I started in alarm as it burst into a giant splash of water, then reformed once again into his familiar smooth features.

Suigetsu grinned without amusement, opening his eyes lazily to look up at my face. He put both his hands under his head and sighed, chest rising upwards until he let the breath back out. "I just want to know about him. He must be important to you if you were talking about him in your sleep."

I swore to myself explosively. Sleep was the only time when I could not fully protect myself. I didn't remember dreaming about Gaara. I only remembered the Akatsuki meeting.

"He's no one," I sighed, fighting to take control of my temper. It sounded pathetic, even to me who was saying it. The lame excuse was not to try and fool him though, but to send a subtle message that I was willing to forget about it.

Unfortunately, Suigetsu did not share the same mind set.

"He's not no one. Not to you. What did you do while I was away, Katsumi-chan? It's been a long time…."

"Shut up," I hissed. "I -"

Sasuke's soft, threatening voice rose from where he was sleeping. The Uchiha didn't seem to appreciate being woken up. I huffed to myself, barely sustaining from telling him to get back to his beauty sleep – he'd need it – when he muttered the redheaded Kazekage's name.

"Gaara? Hn…."

Sasuke caught Suigetsu's attention, and the teen rolled onto his stomach and propped himself on his knees. "You know him, Sasuke?"

"Hn."

"Who is he then?"

Sasuke sat up and turned his head ever so slightly to take in the two Mist nin, one staring with an open, easy smile back at him and the other scowling angrily, using her eyes to tell him to stay quiet. Unfortunately, as the leader of the little group, Sasuke called the shots. He didn't much like me anyway, I don't think. I was pretty slack to him whenever we crossed paths in Konoha. Plus I was in league with his brother. He hadn't pressed the issue lately – his reason being that he needed to 'prepare' before he started to act – but there was no doubt that he would start up again soon – probably when we had gotten Karin and whoever else was left.

"He's a Suna shinobi. He was in the Chuunin exams."

"He pass?" Suigetsu inquired. He sounded innocent – as always – as if we were talking about just anyone, not the other person I had feelings for.

"No."

"None of them did, except one," I muttered. Suigetsu raised an eyebrow at Sasuke, who stared at him dully.

"So he couldn't be that great then," the Houzuki teen mused, sitting back on his heels and taking a long draught from his water bottle.

"I heard he was Kazekage now," Sasuke told him flatly.

Suigetsu yawned, unfazed. "They must have low standards to appoint someone the leader even if he didn't pass the Exams. Seems sort of stupid to me."

I held back from linking the words 'stupid' and 'Suigetsu' together, deepening my scowl and picking at one of the spikes on my katana. Deciding that I needed something to distract me, I cut a gash on my palm and went to smooth the blood on the blade. Not seconds after I did so, Suigetsu lurched towards me, grabbing my wrist and turning it upside-down to look in disbelief at the self inflicted wound.

"What are you doing?"

"Sharpening my sword."

"With blood?"

"No," I snapped sarcastically. "With sauce."

He sighed, closing his eyes and letting go of my wrist. "Messy…. Seems like something Kisame would do."

I ignored the comment, continuing on with what I was doing as Suigetsu reverted back to questioning Sasuke, who was getting more and more irritated by the minute. I snuck glances at him from the corner of my eye, marveling at both the similarities and the differences between him and his brother. Maybe it was because of the age, but Itachi always seemed so much more intimidating that Sasuke. Perhaps it was because I'd seen the human side of him, before he'd gone to Orochimaru, and Itachi's past was still a mystery to me.

While musing over the Uchiha brothers, I felt the Akatsuki ring in my ear burn. I scowled again. Surely Pein had said everything he needed to say, ne?

"I'll be back," I muttered, and slipped away. Suigetsu, in all his intelligent glory, did not notice, but Sasuke's black eyes followed my form until I disappeared into the shadow.

I looked around to check that neither of them had followed me, and performed the necessary hand seals to teleport my conscience to the chamber of the Jinchuuriki statue. My teammates were all there bar two – Sasori and Deidara. Pein addressed me as I bowed respectively to him.

"Katsumi. How close would you say you are to Suna?"

I chewed the inside of my cheek thoughtfully, ignoring the urge to kick something. Jashin was having fun holding the Kazekage above my head. I muttered something about the god, and Hidan's image looked up attentively, flashing me an approving look. Oops. Let's not get his hopes up.

"Pretty close. Maybe about half a day if I move fast."

The Leader blinked in acknowledgement. "Good. I want you to go there. Leaf ninja are interfering with our plans. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't bother sending backup for Deidara and Sasori, but as long as you're close anyway, I think its appropriate."

"Ha!" Hidan sniggered, hefting his scythe. "Poor fuckers. Not gonna be happy. Getting saved by a girl. And a kid one at that."

"I have Jashin on my side," I said half-seriously, which shut him up almost immediately. "Yeah, I thought so."

"Katsumi-chan. This is your chance to kill someone from the Leaf village," Kisame-sensei grinned delightedly. Itachi glanced at him dully, no doubt quite sick of hearing how much he hated Konoha. "Get some good ones for me."

"Perhaps you should go too, Kisame. Uzumaki Naruto is on a mission to get Gaara back, along with Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura, and an elder called Chiyo – Sasori's grandmother. All are potent ninja – even the younger ones. If Katsumi can handle the Haruno girl and perhaps the Copy Nin, then you can focus on your own target."

"Do you think I'm strong enough for Hatake Kakashi?" I asked, remembering seeing him in action before. He was a socially retarded, perverted, lazy bastard, but he was a powerful ninja, not to be taken lightly.

"If you don't think you can handle it…" Hidan smirked at me. I flipped him the finger, being subjected to a stinging glare from my blue sensei.

"Shinju Katsumi. That is your new mission."

"Hai…. Ano! Leader! What about Sasuke?"

"If you have information on Itachi, then he'll most likely follow you anyway," Pein said, looking at the Uchiha in question. "He and the Houzuki boy might be useful, especially if he is as dedicated to you as Kisame has told us."

Most of the members chuckled, and Hidan sniggered. I blushed and crossed my arms, feeling my spiky sword shift against my back, even through the hologram.

"Go now. Don't bother telling them anything. You just have to make sure you get to Suna before the Leaf nin do. You'll probably be fine for time. Deidara only engaged in battle with the Kazekage less than a day ago. Still. There will be search parties sent out. Especially after what Sasori did to their last Kazekage."

I blinked, shocked. No way. How could I have forgotten? How could I have been so stupid that such an important fact had passed under my nose. It was the most obvious thing in the whole world, and it had gone right over my head. I bid a hasty farewell and dispelled the jutsu, returning with a rush to the dark of the plain where I had been originally. I could see the dim light of our campfire far off to my right, and heaved a shuddering sigh before setting off south, to the Country of Wind.

-----------------------------------

Not for the first time, I cursed myself for not bringing appropriate supplies when I decided to go traveling by myself through the desert, looking for two artists, who were running away with one of my old, demon-possessed love interests, who just happened to be Kazekage as well. If I had not had so much skill in water techniques, and water summonings, then I would have been a lot worse off. Sasori would have some food, I reasoned. He was always well prepared.

Sunagakure was a dot on the horizon when I spotted a large white bird in the sky above me, a lone blond figure standing at ease on its back. Performing my sensei's same seals, I shot a huge fountain of water into the air, narrowly missing one of the bird's wings, and making Deidara whip round, startled. I waved up at him as he leant over the edge, hair blowing in the wind. Giving me a small wave, he started his decent.

Sand rose as the clay animal landed right next to me, and Deidara's face was plastered all over with a forced smile as blood seeped, slowly but surely, from his empty shoulder.

Trying to avoid staring at the cracked shell of Gaara's sand armour as he lay limp and curled in the tail of the blond Akatsuki's bird, I leapt onto its back to join him.

"What have you done to yourself now, genius?" I scathed, walking towards the artist and pulling up his sleeve. I waited for him to remove the cloak completely so I could take a look at his arm, as he replied.

"Fulfilled my mission, un. My art beat his sand."

He let his cloak fall to the ground, revealing his midriff black top, that never, ever failed to make me snigger to myself. I turned serious as I took a proper look at his shoulder. The arm was completely gone, leaving a clotted, bloody, gory mess in its place.

"Down to three tongues, then?" I sighed, focusing my chakra onto my hand and berating myself for not learning more medical training. I knew the rumours about Tsunade, and how she could heal almost any wound, reattach limbs and cure almost any poison ever created. I wondered how she'd fair against Sasori's concoctions.

"Don't worry. I'm not normal yet, un" he chuckled deeply, watching in amusement as the bloody holes across his shoulder healed over smoothly. I picked idly at a big hunk of dried blood, telling him he'd have to wash it, otherwise it would be uncomfortable for him.

"I'll get over it."

I shot him a glare, which he responded to only by raising his right hand and poking two tongues out at me.

"Where's Sasori?"

"Un? Mm. Sasori no Danna ran into our Jinchuuriki's brother… or something. He wanted to stay behind. Puppet user pride and all that, un."

"Right," I said. There was a horrible sinking feeling in my chest. Despite my last encounter with Kankurou, I still felt so guilty that I was part of the organization adding to Gaara's already insurmountable troubles. "You don't have any food, do you?"

He pressed his remaining hand to his stomach, sighing mournfully. "Not me, un. That's Sasori-danna's thing. I only ever carry my clay… un."

"Ooh, look. Now you're a starving artist. You hero you," I sniggered. He shot me a look before sighing and lying down, propped up against the neck of the bird. I joined him, making myself comfortable. I knew his brief show of maturity wouldn't last for too much longer. As soon as I shut my eyes away from the harsh desert sun, there was a loud slurp, and half my face was wet.

"Deidara!" I yelped, sitting up and scrubbing at my face, catching sight of his arm jerking away, tongue lolling. He laughed at me, shaking his head and reaching for his cloak, complaining that if Sasori saw him without it on, even in the heat, he would not hear the end of it. I caught sight of something in the distance: two figures, right on the horizon, moving fast towards us. Groaning, I alerted Deidara, who hurriedly slipped on the Akatsuki uniform and jammed on his hat before chewing extra clay to lengthen the tail of his bird.

"Off you go, un," he told me, pointing to where there was now a place for me next to Gaara. The tail was completely unfurled, balancing Gaara on the flat, clay surface. I climbed down and took my place reluctantly next to him. The cracks in his armour made him looked like a broken doll. I wondered exactly what Deidara had done to him to knock him out this bad.

"Oh Kami…. Look at you, Gaara," I whispered, reaching a hand to move the red hair from his face. It was hard in the cramped space, being completely encompassed by the clay of the bird tail, but I managed it. I could have sworn I saw his lips move, and his eyes flicker open – even if it was just for a second. I was glad it was dim. If I could get away with him just thinking I was there, then it would be fine.

Not that he would survive after the extraction anyway. I bit my lip, eyes stinging just thinking about it. After three years with Akatsuki, I hoped I'd forgotten how to cry.

"Sa-baka no Gaara. That's who you are," I huffed at him. No matter he was unconscious. It made me feel better. "Idiot. Had to go fight an Akatsuki member, didn't you?"

"Katsumi-chan?" Deidara sighed.

"Un?"

"Shut up… un."

"Hai…. How far away are they?"

"They're close enough to see you and Gaara, but too far away to see I'm talking to you."

"Right."

I listened with a rapidly increasing heartbeat as Deidara yawned, then called out a greeting to the two boys that were approaching. If I raised my head just slightly, I could make out the black hair of Sasuke against the sky, and the flash of light that reflected from Zanbato's grey surface. The Uchiha looked the same as normal. Suigetsu looked angry. I could imagine what was going through Sasuke's mind:

This guy is in Akatsuki.

Therefore, he knew Itachi.

Kill, kill, kill and all that jazz. I wondered vaguely how Deidara would fair against Sasuke.

I liked to think Deidara would win.

"Who are you?" Sasuke asked, voice deceptively calm. He was aching to kill something. I could tell.

"My name won't matter to you, un…" the blond answered. I was disappointed. I would have expected a nasty little drop about Itachi.

"Don't you think he looks like his brother, un? Gaara? Girl?"

I tried to keep from laughing as the bird's tail uncovered us, pretending to be completely unconscious. I was staring blankly, for dramatic effect as well as observation purposes, and could see the furious look in Sasuke's now whirling Sharingan eyes. They were pretty interesting… Not as interesting as Pein's eyes, but they were okay.

"Hmm. Maybe I was too harsh on them, you think, un?" Deidara taunted. Suigetsu, who had been staring at me, biting down on his lip so hard there was blood spilling down his chin, turned to Sasuke and unsheathed Zanbato.

"Can I kill him yet?"

I laughed to myself. What a Kiri thing to say.

"No. Leave him. He can give me information."

"But Katsumi-chan knows about your brother too. If we kill him and get her back, then -"

"No. This guy's in Akatsuki. He'll know more about Itachi then she would."

"Mm. Look at you two," Deidara said cheerfully. "Arguing like an old married couple… un."

I winced inwardly. Maybe suggesting the two were together was not such a good idea.

Suigetsu swung Zanbato once experimentally, then leapt towards the Akatsuki blond, hacking away viciously. Deidara was startled, but only slightly. He'd been wondering at which point one of them would crack. Dodging the ex-Kiri nin's attacks while chewing frantically on a large hunk of clay, he only succeeded in making Suigetsu more annoyed. Not that he took his self-satisfied, over-confident grin off his face at any time.

Sasuke had taken to rubbing his temples in displeasure. Watching the battling pair carefully, he trod silently around to the unfurled tail, scanning Gaara and I quickly before grabbing me around the waist and sliding me off. Putting one arm around his shoulder, he "hnn-ed" before doing the same with Gaara.

I heard a cry of triumph come from Deidara as he landed almost six sound hits on the chest, head and shoulders of the Houzuki teen. To my extreme shock, Suigetsu turned to water, spraying the fresh clear liquid everywhere, and then reforming himself with it. He laughed smugly at Deidara, who looked at him as if he were a freak.

"What?" I exclaimed, before remembering I was meant to be knocked out. I covered it with a drunken-sounding slur, lolling onto Sasuke's shoulder. Hopefully he would be too distracted to care at all.

I could practically sense him rolling his eyes. He was over it. Perhaps he wondered if he should let the fight between Deidara and Suigetsu go any longer. The water-moon was pretty much impossible to kill, and there was little chance of Deidara surviving.

"Katsumi," he said, jerking me up and down so that my head fell forward of his shoulder. "I need some of your clones."

"Can't you do it yourself, pretty-boy?" I snapped back at him, keeping my voice low so that Deidara didn't hear. There was no point hiding from Sasuke anymore. He wasn't that stupid.

Could've fooled me.

"My hands are full," he replied. I wondered if the deadpan vocals and expression was a trait of all Uchihas.

"Fair enough."

I created one water clone of myself, and then made a replica of Gaara. The two clones took the places that the Kazekage and I had occupied before. "Now you have to hide us real ones. Any ideas?"

"You have to use your jutsu, the Hiru Banshō: Bōka no Jutsu. Take Gaara, and merge with Suigetsu."

"Sasuke! He's right in front of that blond guy!"

"Find a way."

My clone took the chance. Sasuke was acting all cool and distant, watching the fight like a guy who'd bet on a rigged competition. Gaara and I were under the tail, waiting for Suigetsu to fall for my trap. As the fake me woke up, she started shouting, drawing both the fighters' attention. Deidara because I was supposed to lay there and shut up, and Suigetsu because I sounded terrified. Personally, I thought it was unrealistic. But hey. Whatever works.

Just as expected, he was at my side in a second, having jumped back down onto the sand. As soon as his feet hit the ground, I performed my jutsu, holding tight to Gaara, and threw myself onto him. I'd never shared a body with two other people before, especially if it's a body that can break down and rebuild itself using water, so it was really, really strange, but I managed it.

Thing is. I wasn't sure for how long it would stay manageable.

Suigetsu had completely frozen while he tried to make sense out of what had just happened. I figured I could explain it all later…. While I thought up a good plan for why I just stole one of Akatsuki's targets and betrayed one of my top favourite teammates. I took dominance over his mind, leaving him up the back of our head with a restless Inner Gaara/Shukaku to deal with.

"Suigetsu. That's enough."

Maybe the Uchiha was clever. Not Shikamaru, perhaps, but he did have impeccible timing. Well, I expected no better.

I hung 'my' head, admitting defeat and walking back to Sasuke dejectedly, scowling up at Deidara angrily. Everything seemed very different when you were suddenly a couple of inches taller than usual. Sasuke repeated his line about extracting information again, and I joined in, whining about how I should get to finish what I started.

Deidara, now panting, looked Suigetsu – me – up and down curiously. He knew that Suigetsu's ability would be hard to overcome. Although, I myself would have to keep my jutsu activated at all times so I could hide in some of the water droplets that would spray everywhere if I was hit. I wasn't at that level quite yet. It would be too hard with an extra passenger. Sasuke seemed to understand this. He was bluffing like a pro.

After a few heated, taunting words from Deidara, and a few cool comebacks from Sasuke, the blond tossed his head, sending his long hair off his face for a second before it came to sit perfectly back into place.

"I got what I came for… un. And with a bit extra. Should I give your regards to Itachi, hm?"

He laughed at Sasuke's angry scowl and set off into the sky.

I waited until he was completely out of sight before I released my jutsu, sending Gaara and I sprawling on the ground. The Kazekage was still dead to the world, and I was choking on sand.

"Katsumi-chan! That was you?"

I coughed, trying to get the gritty stuff from out of my throat. "Yeah."

"And who's that?" he asked, confused.

Before I could answer, Sasuke, who had knelt down to check the pulse of the Suna shinobi, replied, "This is Gaara."

Zanbato, who was in the process of being put away, stayed ready in Suigetsu's hand.

Author's Note: Well, there you are! Goodness me that took a ridiculously long time. Wow. Maybe I haven't gone dead after all. I was scared there for a while that I'd never write again. I couldn't make anything work. But I reckon this turned out okay.

Lol. It's 1:32am.

Meh. It's also the holidays I suppose.

Everyone, please review – I accept anonymous ones so you don't even have to have your names on them. I'd love to know what you all think. The next chapter will only be posted if I get 4 reviews. Teehee.

Oh, btw. Just wanted to clear this up.

Gaara is by no means joining Hebi. God. No. What do you think I am?