The Day Before You

Written By: Ms. Maggs / Edited By: KJT
Chapter 14: Cause for Celebration – Part 3

"Greg!" Jan shouted when she reached the top of the stairs.

With his eyes clamped shut, Greg pulled the bed covers tighter and mumbled, "Ten more minutes, Mom, pleeeeeeease."

Nick bolted up. "What's goin' on?!" When he saw his partner peacefully slumbering next to him, he figured he had dreamed the yelling.

"Nicky! Greg!" Jan called out as she strolled down the hall toward the master suite. "Your vehicles are in the garage so I know you're home!" Checking her watch, she sighed, "They're probably getting it on in the shower and lost track of time."

"G!" Nick gave him a hard shove.

"What?!"

"Your mother is in the house," Nick whispered. "I thought she was gonna use the keyafter she moves to Vegas so she could stop by and give Chico attention and cook and do laundry some afternoons while we were sleeping. What's she doin' upstairs today?"

"Haven't you heard the saying there's no such thing as a free meal?" Rubbing his face, Greg droned, "The price of clean underwear and a freezer full of heat and serve dinners is going to be her invading our privacy on a regular basis." He waved to his mother who was in the doorwary grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Hi, Mom." He pulled the covers to his neck. "We didn't answer because we were still sleeping, but you really shouldn't have barged in, because we could have been…discussing confidential case files."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's how you spend your time in bed."

"We honestly we do discuss case files in bed…and while we're brushing our teeth…and when we're putting away the groceries. We're only part-time lovers, but we're full-time geeks." Greg chuckled, "Our solve rates have soared since we moved in together. We're right behind Sara and Griss, but they've been hitting the sheets longer, so…"

"Whatever." She tapped her watch, "It's six-thirty. You're supposed to be at the restaurant at seven. You would have slept right through dinner if I hadn't barged in."

"Doh!" Glancing at his clock, Greg huffed, "You said you set your alarm, Cletus."

"No, you said 'got the alarm', so I said 'okay' and didn't bother."

"No," Greg corrected his bedmate, "I said 'got the alarm?' and you said 'okay' as in you'd get it."

"No, I said 'okay' as in I wasn't setting my alarm because you were setting yours."

"Ha!" Greg laughed, "This totally reminds me of that Friends Thanksgiving episode."

"Got keys?" Nick chuckled.

"Exactly!"

"Boys!" Jan snapped her fingers. "I told your father to drop me off here and then take the girls to the restaurant to put our name on the waiting list for a table. It's Friday night and The Cheesecake Factory doesn't take reservations, so it'll probably take an hour to be seated." She held up her bags, two from Nordstrom and one from Petsmart. "I have deliveries - one for each of my boys. You said that Chico loved the fleece stuffed toys, right? And Gregory, I got you this fabulous Michael Kors zip-front cashmere hoodie and a Juicy Couture shirt with this crazy face on it, it reminded me of some of the nuttier stuff you like. And Nicky, I'm trying to push you out of your conservative clothing rut a little, so I bought you a few fashion-forward sweaters and button downs."

"Fashion forward?" Nick said with a curious lilt.

Greg laughed, "That's another word for gay."

"No," she huffed. "They're just slightly less heterosexual than his usual attire." She pulled out a black button down with a large grey crest on the back. "See."

Greg lisped, "That's so gay, mother."

"I kinda like it actually." Nick admired the shirt.

"Congratulations, Cletus, you're officially a raging queer."

Jan laughed, "From the amount of supplies you two tore through on the Freyja, I'd say he has been for a couple of months now."

With indignation in his voice, Greg corrected her, "I'll have you know we donated all those condoms and bottles of lube to the poor and horny of Catalina Island."

"I'm so proud of my philanthropist son." Jan placed a hand over her heart. "Compulsive liar that he is."

"Thanks, Jan." After envisioning the shirt with his favorite jeans, Nick was excited to wear it. "I appreciate you thinkin' of me when you're shoppin'."

"You're very welcome, honey. Since your commitment ceremony is less than two months away, I thought dressing on the fringe of gayness would be a subtle way to give your co-workers who don't know about you, a hint. That way you won't shock the hell out of them by showing up at work with a wedding band that matches Greg's." When her son suddenly hid his right hand under the blanket, she grew suspicious. "What are you hiding?"

"She's gonna see at dinner, G." Nick proudly held up his right hand. "We couldn't wait, so…" Before he could finish, Jan started shrieking and clutching her head.

"I don't believe you! How could you do this to me?!"

Listening to the woman shriek, Nick said, "Now I know where you get your girly hysterics from, G."

"You ungrateful little bastards!" The outraged mother threw her shopping bags to the ground. "I have spent weeks planning and the girls were all excited to be in it, and UGH!" Too angry to speak to them, she stomped for the door.

"Jan! Jan!" Nick jumped out of bed to calm her down. "Stop! Listen!" He rushed to block her. "We're still gonna have the big ceremony! We just…"

"Dude!" Greg shouted. "You're naked."

Jan couldn't stop herself from looking…twice.

"Ugh." The squicked son rolled his eyes. "Stop checking out his package, mom."

Horrified by his faux-pas, Nick raced back to bed and dove under the covers. "I'm very sorry, ma'am. I didn't mean to offend you."

"I've been going to nude beaches for decades. I'm not offended by high quality nudity." Jan chuckled, "Too bad your father wasn't here for this, Greg. His ego would love to know he'd win a Most Endowed contest by a landslide."

Greg nodded at his cringing partner. "You know when you're little and you see your dad naked and think that one day you're gonna grow up and look just like him? Well, I'm still waiting. My daddy has a porn-worthy weenie, but all I got were his brown eyes and gangly toes."

"Great, just what I needed – more personal information about your dad that I didn't need to know." Sighing, Nick told his crazy mother-in-law, "You know, Jan…I'm really much more conservative about sex than you, so it makes me uncomfortable to talk like this…especially when I'm in bed…naked…with your son."

After glancing around the room, Jan picked up a jar of Kama Sutra Honey Dust and a box of chocolate penises. "Conservative, huh?" As Nick cringed she continued to take inventory. "Three empty wine bottles, two dozen sex products, and a blow up doll in your walk-in closet. I'm no CSI, but this evidence doesn't scream conservative to me."

"We're on our honeymoon, remember?" Greg held up his right hand. "We kicked it up a notch."

"Thank you for reminding me." Jan's ire returned. "I can't believe you put the rings on before the ceremony! Now what are you going to do to symbolize your commitment? Shake hands?"

"We're gonna move the rings from our right hands to our left," Nick explained. "I'm sorry, but I just couldn't wait to have somethin' that said we're together forever."

Jan melted when she saw Nick take her boy's hand and smooth his thumb across the band. "Aright, fine. I think moving the rings from right to left will be lovely actually. I'm sure the minister will be able to re-work the ceremony wording to accommodate the change."

"Minister?" Greg laughed. "The only time you ever took me to church was for weddings, Mom. How do you even know a minister?"

"Jillian found her when she attended services at a gay church in Dallas. Her name is Reverend Hale. Your mother was very impressed with her, Nick."

"Really?" He was stunned. "She didn't tell me any of this. I didn't even know there was a gay church in Dallas."

"Yes, it's called New Hope Church and it's not small, it's a mainstream megachurch with nearly 3,000 members. I forget which denomination it's sanctioned under, but it's one of the bigger ones. Your mother went there to speak with one of the ministers in private. After several sessions, I'm happy to report that she no longer believes that you'll burn in hell for bein' gay hell, Nicky."

"When did she tell you all this?"

"We speak almost daily, honey," Jan informed him with a smile. "New Hope Church conducts gay weddings and your mother toyed with the idea of asking you to get married there because she thought it might turn your Holy Roller sisters around. Ultimately she decided not to because she was concerned how it would affect the family name and your brother's campaign since he's been very outspoken against gay marriage. The ceremony did sound lovely though. I checked out the church's website and it is beautiful place. They would give your a real marriage certificate, not that it gives you any rights here in Vegas, but it's something. I was all for it, because it would have been very classy and there are some lovely places to hold a reception in Dallas."

"G…" With a gleam in his eye, Nick asked, "Do you have your heart set on a beach ceremony? Because I think a church wedding would be real nice."

"You do, huh?" Staring at his grinning partner, Greg asked, "Do you want to get married in the church because it's spiritually important to you? Or because you think it will help your family be more accepting of us? Or do you just want to do it because it will piss off your daddy?"

"Honestly?" Sitting up taller, Nick excitedly replied, "To have a real minister in a real church pronouncin' us married in the eyes of God will get a lot more respect from my family than a barefoot ceremony on the beach. It probably won't be enough to persuade my twin sisters, but I think it would be enough to get Nancy and Marcia there, instead of just Gwen. And I bet my Aunt Katie would come and some of my cousins." He took his partner's hand and gave it a squeeze, "I'm an old-fashioned guy and kinda like the idea of havin' our union blessed in a church…and I think it would be a lot of fun to show you where I grew up and the places I used to go. Like you got to do in California with me. We may not get an invite to the ranch, but I could bring ya to Gwen's house."

"Okay, I can see that being special." Greg stared down his mate. "Any other reason you want to get married in Dallas?"

Nick burst into a shit-eating grin, "Hell, yeah, there's one more reason. If my gay wedding is the talk of the town, then my brother and father will freakin' lose their minds! Whaddya say?"

"I say…" Greg whooped, "Yee haw! We're goin' to Dallas, cowboy! I'd love to help you piss off your pompous, closed-minded brother and complicate his Neo-Con life."

"Me too." The proud PFLAG parent raised her hand. "I'm also thinking as a gay rights activist. A Stokes family member getting married at New Hope Church would be a huge victory for the Dallas gay and lesbian community. Nicky, it might give other people in your position the courage to come out to their conservative families – especially if they know your family attended."

"My father still won't come," Nick assured them. "He's pretendin' I'm not gay and my parents haven't told anyone, not even their closest friends. That's why it'll be a big shock to have Stokes and Sanders Wedding on the marquis."

Jan huffed, "If the Vice President of the United States doesn't hide his lesbian daughter, why is a Supreme Court Justice hidin' his son? Why isn't he at least doin' the same as his political contemporary? He should at least be acknowledging you while not condoning your lifestyle."

"Here's my idiot brother's answer to your question." Nick spoke with Chuck's arrogant tone, "Cheney wouldn't be sayin' a damn thing if he had a gay son gettin' his ass pounded instead of a daughter who liked to munch rug. Men don't give a shit about two women gettin' it on, it's our biggest fantasy'."

"Wendy," Hodges groaned, "oh, yeah…yeah…spray a little more whipped cream on Mandy. That's it…good girl." Writhing under the covers with his eyes clamped shut, the sleeping man watched his biggest fantasy come to life in full Technicolor and surround sound. "Oh yeah, yeah…"

Unfortunately his vintage Howdy Doody alarm clock on his nightstand sounded and ended the fun.

"No!" He shrieked when he realized it had been merely a dream. "No!" It had seemed so real." They were at Greg's birthday party on Saturday night and both women had fallen hard for him. When he broke the news to them and prepared to choose, the girls kissed and said 'Why choose when you can have twice the fun, stud?'

Staring at his tented boxer shorts, the lonely Lab Tech slid out of bed and trudged to the shower to take matters into his own hands…just like he did every day upon waking up…just like he would be handling things twenty years from now if he didn't find a partner to fill the void. He used to say that super geniuses were destined to live solitary lives, but then Grissom ruined the juicy rationalization by inviting Sara to share his home and his life.

"I'm home" Gil announced as he entered the house. Exhausted and ready to sleep for the next twelve hours, he dropped his belongings. "Sara?"

With Bruno at her side, Sara rushed into the living room. "We dozed off waiting for you."

"Sorry I'm so late." He pecked her cheek and knelt down to scratch Bruno's head. "We believe the Jane Doe is a woman named Teresa Martinez. We're waiting for a positive ID from a family member. I would have been home an hour ago, but Ecklie pulled me into a meeting he was having with the DA and their newest hot shot attorney."

"A hot shot, huh?" Sara joked, "Is he a hot hot-shot? Catherine will want to know if she should send her tightest court suit and lowest cut silk blouse to the dry cleaners."

"The hot shot's name is Carrie Blake and unless Catherine's taste has significantly changed, she won't need to dry clean her best suit." Gil kicked off his shoes. "This woman is five foot three, 110 pounds soaking wet, and she looks sweet as pie, but two minutes into a conversation with her and you realize she's a pit bull in disguise. I'm going to warn everyone that they better have their ducks in a row if they're testifying on her watch."

"Great, another 24 year old hothead just out of law school who thinks they can change the world until they find out the pay sucks and the hours are suckier." Sara rolled her eyes. "She'll last two months and then quit to work corporate law just like the rest of them."

"No, she's 30 and was hired in as an ADA. She's passionate about her career because her 9 year old childhood best friend was molested and raped by their coach while taking private swim lessons."

Sara got goosebumps thinking about an innocent child going through that kind of hell.

"The coach never touched Carrie because her 16 year old brother Paul accompanied her to private lessons, but one afternoon Paul asked the coach if it would be okay for him to come back at the end of the hour – he wanted to secretly meet up with this girlfriend who was leaving for summer camp. He was gone for about two minutes when he got this gut feeling something was wrong. He hurried back to the coach's house and caught the bastard sliding his sister's hand inside his swim trunks."

"Whoa." Sara shivered.

"You'll love this." Gil excitedly relayed the rest of the story, "The brother was a huge fan of police dramas and he knew from watching rape case episodes, that if he grabbed his sister and ran, the coach would deny everything and they would have no proof the incident had occurred. So, he jumped out from behind the bush and told his sister to 'scratch the coach's wiener really hard' and then he ordered her to run. After she did as told, he grabbed her and ran to the neighbor's house screaming for them to call the police. When he was brought in for questioning, they found the scratches on his body to corroborate the story and the scrapings under Carrie's fingernails. The coach called it a set up, accusing the Blakes of trying to get money in a lawsuit, but when Carrie's best friend heard what happened, she broke down in tears and told of her own ordeal. The coach had threatened to kill her family if she exposed him, and she had been too frightened to speak up. Five victims stepped forward within a week and the coach ended up behind bars."

"That is a good story. Now I'm looking forward to meeting her."

"You already know her brother; he's Captain Paul Blake from the Sex Crimes division over in Henderson. We worked with him a few times, most recently on the rape and murder of that ten year old girl found in a garbage can - Keisha." Sighing, Gil removed his jacket. "After hearing Carrie's story, it's easy to see why he wanted to be a cop when he grew up. Saving someone you love and helping put an animal behind bars would give a 16 year old boy a rush and make him hungry for more busts."

"Have you ever met a person you didn't analyze?"

"No. Have you?"

"Nope." After they shared a laugh, she asked, "Did Ecklie the Pig try to hit on her?"

"No, he called her a Femi-nazi and declared her a lesbian."

"In his world lesbian means 'woman who doesn't find me attractive'."

"I believe you're right," he chuckled. "Enough about work." Taking Sara's hand, Gil strolled for the bedroom. "Let's talk about you. How much sleep did you get?"

"Not much. I was too preoccupied." Remembering the news she had to share, she tensed.

"What did Bruno do this time?" he droned as they strolled into the bedroom.

"Nothing."

The boxer followed his owners over to the bed and reclaimed his divot in the comforter.

"So what were you preoccupied about?" Gil popped open the buttons of his beige shirt while waiting for an answer.

"Case stuff." It wasn't a lie. "And Greg's birthday…we almost didn't get to celebrate it this year and look at everything he would have missed out on if he had died. That's stuck in my head."

"Yeah." Thinking of his own mortality, Gil sat on the edge of the bed and sighed, "I'm sure Greg's feeling a little reflective and solemn about the day too."

"Time for another round of shots, Jan!" Greg cheered as he approached the Cheesecake Factory bar with his mother. She already had one at the house while he and Nick had two"After the year I had, I'm celebrating my birthday for 48 hours straight! Straight…ha!" He snapped his fingers. "Bartender! Four shots of your smoothest tequila, por favor! And keep the bottle handy, 'cause I'm drinking on my Daddy's tab."

"None for me!" Dave yelled over the din while holding up his Scotch. "I'm already on my second double and I'm not mixing. I'm waaaay too old for that shit," he laughed. "Believe it or not, back in the day I could drink you under the table, Nick."

"Yeah, I hear ya about the age-factor. I've been on the downhill slide since thirty." Nick laughed, "Hell, I only have two shots in me and I'm already feelin' it. Back in college, I wouldn't have noticed a difference until I downed five." He pointed to Greg swaying at the bar. "This is why we took a cab here, Jan. One more round, G! Then we're gettin' some food in ya and switchin' to beer!"

"I love how protective you are of him, Nicky." Jan smoothed her palm over her future son-in-law's back. "You're his lover, but you're still his best friend. That's a really good sign that your relationship will stand the test of time."

"Yes, ma'am. It most certainly will."

Watching her son explain to the bartender that it was his 'lucky to be alive birthday celebration weekend', Jan said to her husband and Nick, "I knew it was a good move letting the girls have a sleepover at Mama Evelyn's." When she was at the house, Dave had called her cell to say the restaurant had a 90 minute wait and the girls, who hadn't seen each other in 3 weeks, were begging him to just grab a pizza and let them have a quiet girls night. "One more, Gregory, and then I'm done with tequila for the night. I'm too old to keep up with you."

"He can't keep up with himself," Nick informed his future in-laws. "You should have seen him after the two bottles of wine earlier."

"Bottoms up!" Greg joked as he handed his lover and mother glasses, "Sorry, that's your line, Cletus."

"That's right."

Standing in the corner of the packed bar with his family, Dave cringed behind his tumbler.

"Oh, come on, Dad!" Greg needled, "I'm heading to the chapel in seven weeks and you still can't think of me having sex with Nick without cringing? I stopped cringing at you and mom having sex years ago…except that time I caught her on her knees in the kitchen gooping you up with chocolate syrup while only wearing her Christmas apron."

"It was chocolate Fondant," Jan corrected as she turned to Nick. "Greg and his best friend Becca came home from Stanford for Christmas break a day earlier than expected and I had been drinking a lot of wine while prepping all the food and Dave came downstairs wearing his old Santa costume that he used to put on for Greg every year and to make a long story short, Santa was stressed from Christmas deadlines and Mrs. Claus decided to coat his peppermint stick and take his mind off work for a little while."

"Sorry about the cringing, son," Dave said trying to change the subject and get Nick to stop imagining Jan on her knees with a mouth full of fondant and flesh. "I really do try."

"You try to think of me having sex with Nick?" Greg teased, intentionally trying to fluster his father. "Do you picture me on top? That's my new favorite position."

"G!" Nick smacked his smartass partner upside the head. "Leave the poor man alone and be thankful he's still talkin' to you, unlike my father."

"You've gone versatile?" Jan gasped recovering from the tequila.

"Hell no!" Nick quickly and vehemently answered as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "We know our places, right, G?"

"Yep." Laughing, Greg unconfused his mother, "I meant like when a woman is on top, Mom."

"Oh!"

"People! Why the hell are we talking about this stuff here?" Dave shook his head. "Even if the bar is too noisy for anyone to hear us, I can't believe we're having this conversation in public."

"Geeeez, when did you become a prude, Dad?" Greg informed his partner, "When I was little, my 'rents threw wild pool parties once a month. In the morning I'd go looking for tossed bikini tops. I'd find them in the pool house, in the bushes, even in my treehouse." He needled his father, "So have you gone conservative, Daddy-O, or is it just gay sex you can't joke about?"

Since he had a couple of strong drinks in him, Dave didn't hold back, "You want to know why I cringe, son? I'll tell you why I cringe." He pointed at Nick. "It's your smug attitude about being the top that makes me cringe. Whenever sex comes up in conversation, you puff out your chest and make sure everyone knows that Greg isn't allowed to touch your ass, but you're entitled to his whenever you snap your fingers. I hate that." He imitated Nick's accent and body language, "'Hell no! We know our places.'"

"What?" Upset by the statement, Nick protested, "No, I…"

"Yes! Yes, you do." Dave shot back. "As a father, it's hard for me to hear you treating my son like a piece of meat." After a breath, he said, "I think you're a great guy, Nick, I really do, except when you're making sure everyone knows my boy is your bitch. I've never demeaned my wife in front of people like that - and don't tell me that it's a gay culture thing, because I have gay friends who have been together for over two decades and I've never heard Larry flaunt his top status and he's a big, macho guy."

"Dad! Chill, okay. No more Scotch for you." Surprised and touched by his father's reaction, Greg said, "I appreciate you looking out for me, I really do, but you're wrong. I'm allowed to touch my man's ass whenever I feel like it, isn't that right, Cletus?"

Mortified to be involved in yet another Sanders Family sex discussion, but desperate to make Dave feel better, Nick quickly nodded.

"See!" Greg clarified, "And about a month ago, he even insisted that we switch roles to be fair. We both found it to be mutually awful to be in the opposite role, so that's why he said 'we know our places'. Okay?"

"Were you sober or drunk at the time?" Jan giggled, "Because I only find it fun when I'm plastered, Nicky. And if it was Greg's first time in the lead, I'm sure he stunk, because he's always been a little slow when it comes to learning new physical activities. He didn't ride a bike until the 2nd grade and it took him an entire summer to learn how to swim across the pool."

"Mother." Greg shook his head. "So not helping."

"Okay, fine, this time I was wrong," Dave huffed, "but you have to admit that you've made other comments on other occasions. When I was out here on moving day, I heard you laughing about it with Warrick. Maybe I'm overly sensitive because I heard Greg being bullied and belittled his whole life…geek, dork, loser, freak, faggot, fairy, you name it, but as a father it's important for me to know that my child is going to be respected by his spouse and not be the butt of every joke."

"My dad said butt," Greg gasped air as he laughed. "And considering the context…ha…damn, I'm plastered for the second time today. I love my birthday."

Ignoring his intoxicated son, Dave dropped a hand on Nick's shoulder and spoke from the heart, "When you're a parent I'm sure you'll feel the same way when it comes to your child, so I hope you understand where I was coming from."

"Absolutely, Sir." Nick nodded at the concerned father. "I promise that I won't even crack jokes about it in front of you anymore."

"Thank you." Dave set his empty Scotch glass on a ledge. "I would have been more tactful without the booze."

"That's okay, I appreciate you tellin' me how you feel, because I want us to have the best relationship possible." Nick sobered, "Having your respect is more important to me than ever now that my father is ignoring my existence."

"Come here." Feeling bad, Dave stepped forward and gave the rejected son a bear hug. "We may disagree on things from time to time, but I'll always be here for you, Nick...unless you break my boy's heart of course, then I'll kill ya."

"Not gonna happen." Watching his partner laugh by himself, Nick sighed, "I'm afraid I'm addicted to the lunatic." Reaching out he grabbed Greg's hand, yanking him close. "God help me."

"Aww." Jan snapped a photo for her scrapbook.

"It's the paparazzi, Cletus!" Greg covered his face while his mother tried to take pictures. "They want a scandalous photo for the Dallas society page." He posed provocatively while doing a voiceover, "Nicholas Stokes, son of Justice William Stokes and brother of Republican House of Representatives candidate Chuck Stokes was seen wearing a queer shirt and vigorously Frenching a gay geek tonight. The photo is a little cheesy, but they were at the Cheesecake Factory, so…"

"Stop it, Gregory!" Jan huffed, "I want a nice photo."

"Sanders Party of four!" Cambree, the perky hostess called into the bar.

"Ooh! Right here!" Jan almost fell over waving at the girl. "Those shots are hitting me hard, Gregory. Hold onto me as we walk."

"Mommy's a lush," Greg told the imaginary tabloid reporters while navigating the bar crowd.

"I'm partying because I'm a full-time mother again and this will probably be my last night without having a child to tend to for a while….and because it's your birthday."

"We're driving Dad crazy."

"I'm make him forget his worries later." She giggled, "In honor of your birthday, I may even go gay tonight and let your father in the backdoor."

"Are you trying to make my ears bleed, Jan?" Appreciating his wacky mother's love and ability to joke about his love life, he scolded, "I can't believe you bashed my ability to top. You assumed I was bad just because it took me years to learn to ride a bike…ha!"

"Sorry, honey." She giggled as they strolled into the bustling restaurant. "Were you good?"

"God no, I stunk." Sliding into the booth, he cringed at the memory. "It was like two guys breaking down and having prison desperation sex and Nick lost the coin toss."

Jan placed her hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter.

"Menus are on the table and your server will be right with you," Cambree stated before darting off.

Since their men were taking their time arriving, Greg confided in his open-minded mother, "Nick said he'd let me try it again now that we're not using condoms, because I've never gone without and he thinks I should experience it at least once in my life. I plan to take him up on it one night when I'm drunk but not too drunk to..."

"You're barebacking?!" Jan blurted in a whisper.

"You're killing me with the lingo, Jan."

"I don't approve, Gregory." Her eyes narrowed. "Stop laughing! I'm being serious – I'm not happy about this decision."

"There's no reason to worry. We were tested for everything, things I'd never even heard of, and we're squeaky clean."

"What if he…"

"Not gonna happen."

"You can't say that with 100 percent certainty."

"I just did," he serenely replied. "This morning we shed our clothes, morphed into swans, and mated for life." Taking his mother's hand, he assured her, "Nick won't cheat on me. I'd bet my life on it."

"You are betting your life on it, son."

"Don't go all 'Afterschool Special', Mother." He pleaded with his eyes. "Think about what you're saying…did you make Dad wear a condom after you got engaged?"

"These are different times in a different world, sweetheart."

"True, but Nick's an old-fashioned guy." Tequila and happiness surging through him, he dreamily said, "And I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else."

"Hi there! I'm Tawny!" The bubbly blonde waitress greeted her newest customers. "How are you doing tonight?"

Feeling a strong buzz, Jan cheerily replied, "Wonderful!"

Eye-to-eye with a pair of D-cups, Greg said, "Hello!" Chuckling, he lifted his eyes to the girl's face. "Whoa, I'm getting the strangest sense of deja vu. Have we met before?"

"I don't think so. No." She smiled at the men sliding into opposite sides of the booth. "Hi, I'm Tawny. Welcome to the Cheesecake Factory. Can I start you off with something to drink?"

"Just a glass of ice water," Jan said, still feeling the tequila burn in her throat. "My son made me do shots and I need to regroup."

"Ooh, are you guys celebrating something?"

"It's my birthday tomorrow and the 'rents are taking me and my…" Greg gushed a smile at Nick and nudged him with his elbow. "What are you now that you're wearing my ring on your right hand? Definitely more than a boyfriend, but not spouses until we say 'I do' in the chapel, right?"

"Yeah." Looking forward to the day he could officially say 'spouse', Nick rested his arm on the back of the booth so Greg could rest against it. "I guess it's still partner."

"I kinda figured you guys were a couple." Tawny smiled.

"Why?" Nick asked out of curiosity.

Tawny winked at the dark-haired man. "A guy as hot as you wearing a flamboyant shirt like that…totally gay."

"Ha!" Greg lisped, "I told you that shirt screamed queer, mother."

Dave smiled at the gorgeous young lady. "My family is wacky, but I tip well."

"Tweeters!" Greg shouted and pointed at the waitress. "The billboard next to The Erotica Boutique on Tropicana! That's where I know you from. You're wearing a skimpy gold costume and saying 'come watch me shake my tail feather'. Am I right?"

"Tweeters?" Dave said, thinking of Hooters.

With his eyes on the menu, Nick explained, "It's a high-end gentleman's club that caters to clientele with cash – high rollers, rappers, celebs, sports pros."

Dave chuckled to himself when he saw his future son-in-law checking out the menu instead of the babe. Geez, you really are gay.

"Yeah, I figured that's where you knew me from." Tawny laughed, "I didn't want to say anything in case it would get you in trouble with your mommy."

"I knew it!" Greg boasted, "I'm a CSI for LVPD, so I'm a very observant guy."

"Something's on your mind, Sara." Propped up on an elbow in bed, Grissom studied his lover's eyes. "And it's not a case or Greg's birthday."

She glanced at Bruno. "For once I'm the one in the hot seat instead of you."

Gil's concern grew. "Sara…"

"It's nothing bad," she began. "I'm just not sure you'll like what I did."

"There's only one way to find out."

"The vasectomy thing has been bothering me. You have to know that."

"Yes, I've been wearing an extra sweater all week because of the chill."

Sara rolled onto her back to stare at the ceiling. "I was bitchy at the scene today and Nick asked me what was wrong and before I knew what happened, I blurted everything to him."

Stunned by the news, Gil huffed, "You talked to Nick about my testicles?" He gaped at her. "How would you like it if I spoke to Catherine about your uterus?"

Glaring at her lover, she asked, "You haven't, have you?"

"No, I was illustrating a point and considering your offended reaction, I think I proved my point." Sitting up against the headboard, he said, "Our reproductive systems shouldn't be used as conversation starters while killing time in the field."

"I wasn't killing time, I was teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown." Sitting up to see eye-to-eye she said, "And talking it through with a guy made me get it."

"Get what?" he asked, feeling humiliated and lost.

"I get why you changed your mind about getting snipped. It doesn't have anything to do with wanting children." Smiling, she shared, "Nick theorized that you want to have sperm left to help repopulate the post-apocalyptic world."

"What?!" He shook with laughter.

"Is that not why?"

"No." He released a second round of laughter. "No offense to Nick, but sometimes his deep thoughts are very shallow."

"He also thought since you're a Biologist, that you have all this 'survival of the fittest' BS in your head and you'll feel like a weak, old species if you lose the ability to reproduce."

"Oh." Gil stopped laughing. "Yeah, that was it."

"Really?"

"I was sitting in the waiting room and I picked up a copy of National Geographic. I saw two male hippos fighting over a female and I panicked. I fled the office clutching the magazine with one hand and my balls with the other."

"But I'm the only female you need to worry about and I'll love you the same with or without sperm. Actually, I'll love you more without sperm, because then we won't have to use condoms and I won't have to worry every month."

"Did Nick say he'd get snipped if he were me?"

"Yeah, he would, but first he'd make a few deposits in the sperm bank, so if there was an apocalyptic event, he could still help re-populate the world. He thinks geeks like us would be obligated to make a geek baby, because the new world will need as many geniuses as it can get. He and Greg will fill turkey basters and find geek girl survivors to make geniuses of their own."

"How generous of them." Sliding back onto his side, Gil clicked off his bedside lamp and relaxed, "So that's what was on your mind?"

Sara nodded. "Yep, that was it." She clicked off her bedside lamp, pecked his cheek, and settled in under the covers. "Night."

"Maybe I should get the vasectomy."

"I'm pregnant," Mandy confessed to Jacqui as she stopped in front of the Motherhood maternity store in the mall.

"Greg?" Jacqui blurted. "Wait…if you're pregnant with his baby, then why are we here shopping for a birthday gift for him? You're already carrying his spawn, what more could he want?" She chuckled, "I don't suppose I could just sign your card and…"

"No." Tears forming in her eyes, Mandy shook her head. "It's not Greg's baby."

"Damn. Now we'll still need to get a gift."

"Jacqui!"

"Sorry." It was time for another guess. "Warrick?"

"No!"

"Please not Hodges." Jacqui wracked her brain for something positive to say in case the answer was tragically 'yes'.

"It's Henry's baby," the mother-to-be cried as she watched glowing women shop for maternity-wear. "And he hates me."

"Thank God."

"What? Why are you thanking god that Henry hates me. Were having a…"

"No, I was thanking god that you hadn't slept with Hodges."

"Oh." Mandy's smile gave way to a laugh. "Thanks for making me see that the situation could be worse."

"Do you want to go inside and…"

"No." As a happy couple holding hands strolled into the store, Mandy's smile faded. "I'm dying to check things out, but everyone's coupled up and I'll feel like a loser."

"Come on, honey! Don't be shy, let's go in!" Jacqui boisterously directed her pretend-partner. "Our baby will be here before you know it." She yanked her into the store.

Too busy laughing to cry, Mandy hurried inside. "Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah." The supportive co-worker joked, "I'm drawing the line at paying child support."

"Have you ever thought about being a surrogate mother, Tawny?" Jan continued analyzing the girl's bone structure while the men inhaled the food she had just delivered.

"You mean like get impregnated for someone who can't have a baby of their own?"

"Exactly."

"Can't say that I have, why?"

The desperate grandmother grinned, "You said you wanted to give up stripping, but couldn't afford it, right? If you offer your gestation services to the right people, you would be compensated very well. And while taking it easy, you could study for your GED and start taking online college classes. The right family might even let you move in and take care of you…nurture you, and make you feel like part of the family."

"Really?" The desperate girl queried, "Like how much?"

"Some people have been known to pay a hundred grand plus room and board and college tuition."

"Seriously?!"

"Uh, Mother…" Greg stopped chewing and gaped at her. "Are you commissioning our waitress's uterus while she serves us dinner? Do I get a say? After all, it's my sperm."

"If anyone gets a say, it's me, it's my cash." Slicing his steak, Dave said, "You are just drunk and kidding about all this, right?"

"Look at her!" Jan pointed to the girl. "She's a Nordic beauty. She'd make beautiful babies with our boy."

"OH!" Feeling silly for not catching on, Tawny said, "You want a grandkid and your son is gay. I get it."

"Here's my phone number, sweetheart." Jan handed over her business card. "If you ever want to discuss the matter, just give me a ring. Or if you ever need a stand-in mommy." The poor girl had shared her tragic life story and she wanted to reach out. "I've recently adopted a fourteen year old girl and in a few weeks we'll be adding an eleven year old girl to our family. Both of them have sad stories like you, you poor girl."

"Thanks." Tawny tucked the card in her pants pocket for safe keeping. "Too bad I didn't meet you when I was sixteen instead of twenty-one."

After a sip of beer, Nick asked, "So are ya gonna find a girl for my sperm too, Jan?"

"Don't worry," Tawny winked, "for a hundred grand a kid, I'll do it twice." Laughing, she joked, "I'd even have sex with you."

"Hey!" Greg nearly choked on a shrimp. "What is that supposed to mean? Impregnation by turkey baster for my kid?"

"Aww." Tawny ruffled the geek's mop of hair. "I was only kidding, Chuckles. I'm an exotic dancer, I don't even like boys."

"Right." He didn't believe her.

"Hey, maybe we could do a sperm cocktail and luck out with twins from different daddies." Tawny giggled, "The double daddy thing happened on a soap opera I watch."

"Tawny!" the restaurant manager yelled. "You have more than one table y'know!"

"Oops." She flustered. "Gotta go. We'll have to talk out the sperm details later."

"Have your sperm frozen," Sara said, hoping Gil would like the idea. "That was Nick's suggestion. Then you can have the vasectomy, but know that you could produce a geek baby if called upon after the apocalypse. And the procedure is reversible if you dump me for a kid-crazy babe."

"You're the only babe crazy enough to want me, Sara." Gil rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. "You were supposed to protest the validity of my statement by saying lots of women would want me."

"Oh." She laughed after a few seconds.

"Fine." He breathed deep. "I'll make a new appointment."

"Really?"

"Yes," he answered upon meeting her eyes. "Before they get snipped though…"

"You think you deserve a little spoiling?"

"I don't know." Gil smirked, "What would your buddy Nick say if you asked him?"

"Do it!" Nick goaded Tawny. "It'll be fun."

"I don't know," she pondered the proposition while wiping the table. "It sounds a little mean."

"If you knew Hodges, you'd have no problem saying yes."

Greg nodded. "What he said."

Even Jan had to agree. "The man is as irritating as they come and he's been torturing my boys ever since he found out they were gay. He's held it over their heads, threatened to out them, told endless jokes, you name it. He definitely deserves some payback."

Dave sipped wine and let the lunatics plot.

"Okay," Tawny giggled, "I'm in." They offered to pay her $300 for her performance and all the food and drink she cold inhale at the party. "It'll be an easy gig compared to the private parties I usually work. I know a bunch of LVPD guys won't force themselves on me."

"Yessssss!" High-fiving his partner, Greg cheered, "Thank you, Tawny! Sweet revenge on Hodges is exactly what I wanted for my birthday!" He slurred, "This is gonna be grrrrrrrrreat."

ANs:

Thanks for reading!

If you don't know who Carrie, Tawny and Becca are – they are OCs from my other CSI series. Carrie meets Nick in a courtroom and they bond over their childhood abuse stories and eventually fall in love, Tawny is the stripper Greg has a 1 night stand with and gets pregnant, Becca is Greg's best friend just like she was mentioned to be in this story.

For everyone reading who know who Carrie, Tawny and Becca are - have you ever seen the movie Sliding Doors with Gwenyth Paltrow? It came out in 1998 and the movie is told in 2 parallel stories all based on 1 alteration in fate – the main character slipping through the sliding doors of her tube car in London just in time and the other version shows what happened because she didn't make it through the sliding doors before they closed in front of her. I love the movie's premise and this chapter is my homage to it. I believe that life can be altered by 1 event, but that some people are just destined to cross paths no matter what happens.

FYI – there is a gay megachurch in Dallas called Cathedral of Hope that is part of the United Church of Christ (4th largest Christian denomination). I changed the name of the church and ministers in the story to keep things fictional.

Thanks to KJT for editing as quickly as I sent the scenes! And to my hubby and Veronica10 for pre-reading and making suggestions.

I found a little time last week and caught up on replies, so if you commented on the last 3 chapters, you should have a reply from me : ) Check the guestbook, if you didn't leave an email addy you don't get a notification of the reply. Thanks for your support of the story and to the reader who nominated The Day Before You in the CSI Fanfiction awards, WIP-Vegas category!

Next Chapter – it's party time! And no, Sara still hasn't told Gil about the Big Sister thing.

Maggs