Peeta lies in his room underneath the covers of his bed. His face the only part that pokes from under the duvet, the rest is cocooned within it. His hands grasp firmly to the inside sheets to keep it close. The soft sheets cling to him like they are just another layer of skin on his body. The room is not dark, but only just light, as strips of pale sunlight manage to slither through the blinds into the room. He wakes and his eyes flutter open but close soon enough and he falls back into a half-sleep state. Then the sound of banging feet makes its way towards him. The door bursts open and Lloyd jumps straight onto the bed in his underwear.
"Wake up wake up wake up" he shouts, bouncing the bed but Peeta just pulls the sheets over his head completely forming a barrier between them. So Lloyd lifts himself off the bed, grabs hold of the duvet and in quick movement tugs it off Peeta, throwing it away from the bed. Peeta moans and curls his body into a foetus position. "Get the fuck up!" Lloyd shouts, shaking the mattress.
"Ok ok" Peeta says, waving his hand towards Lloyd.
"It's Christmas you shit head so put some clothes on!" Peeta opens his eyes suddenly when he realises that it is in fact Christmas. He may be almost eighteen years old, but there is no holiday that gets him as excited as Christmas does. He can't quite place what it is. Maybe it's the warm, comfortable feeling that comes with it that always homely. The smell of pine wood and cinnamon that seems to follow you no matter where you go, or maybe the snow that is almost always coating the streets like a blank canvas. If you walk past someone in the street, it doesn't matter who they are, whether you know them or not, they acknowledge you, whether it's a friendly smile, or a 'Merry Christmas'. Everyone seems so happy and peaceful, and everyone is so kind.
He stretches first in his room then goes to his wardrobe to find some clothes. He pulls out some grey sweatpants and pulls them on after taking off his underwear because he feels so much more comfortable without them. Lloyd runs back in wearing a pair of blue sweat-shorts, still no shirt– he's really taking his body in his pride since he's been working out. He's come a long way, now with developed abs and pecs, maybe not huge in the way Cato's are, he's still a slim boy, but he undoubtedly is proud of his progress and Peeta doesn't blame for flaunting it. If he looked the way Lloyd did, he would flaunt it too, but his body still lacks that definition. It may look better than before, but it's not at a stage that he feels he can flaunt it. But before he can even grab a shirt, Lloyd has him by his upper arm and is dragging him downstairs.
In the living room, placed on the coffee table was a pile of presents. They found their parents sitting on the sofa drinking cups of tea. Lloyd rushed immediately to the pile and found all the ones that were for him. Peeta had gone straight to the kitchen to make himself some tea, when he came back Lloyd had found his too and separated them into a pile.
"Who gets tea when there are presents?" He asks, raising and dropping his arms to his lap like he's utterly disappointed in Peeta. He rips the wrapping off of various boxes throwing them in every direction around the room like a child. Peeta opens his slowly, taking each time to appreciate each gift. From his parents he received a small pile of CDs. One was from a singer called Damien Rice. He recalls telling his parents about him, how he thought his music was so calming and atmospheric. How it was emotional unlike the generic pop music that his generation blasts through speakers for everyone to hear. He thought it very impersonal and that music should be for the individual and then to be shared with others like you're offering up a piece of your soul. Really he just reiterated what Austin had said to him as they laid down on his bed, playing music of all sorts, talking, staring up at the ceiling. Not touching, just talking. It's what he found comforting about Austin, he was opinionated and would tell Peeta his thoughts, think out loud and Peeta listened, because he knew that's what Austin wants; someone to listen, but also because he admired Austin's individuality and wanted him to be himself, untainted by generic pop culture.
He held the CD up in front of him. "Thank You" he said to them and they smiled back.
"Dude!" Lloyd shouted holding up a small tub of protein powder. "This is awesome!" He was gleaming at Peeta's present to him. Not only was there the protein powder, but a book called 'Will Grayson, Will Grayson' which Peeta had read a while back and kept telling his brother to read it, but Lloyd wasn't the reading type, so Peeta thought he'd get him the book then make him read it, because it was his favourite book, and he wanted to share that part of him with his brother because hadn't shared something so personal with him before. He had left in Lloyd's room some more gifts of a more humorous nature – a jockstrap with protective cup and a large pack of condoms.
"Thanks." Lloyd said. "For this, and the other stuff" and he laughed. "They'll come in handy" he said and the brothers hugged each other. Peeta opened his own gift from Lloyd. It was an all black jumper of a reasonably thin material, a brown and green checked shirt and a pair of dark blue, faded skinny jeans.
"Your wardrobe kinda sucks" he said and Peeta hit him.
"Thanks." He replied, forcing his words like they came out the pit in his stomach because he realised that his little brother must have spent a lot more on him than he did for Lloyd. But because it was Christmas, he pushed it out of his mind.
Peeta and Lloyd sat next to each other on the floor, leaning against the wall and watched the Christmas films with their parents like they did every year. They were half way through The Polar Express when the doorbell rang. Nobody moved at first. They patiently waited out the other people in the room, hoping someone else would answer. The door bell rang once more and Peeta gave in. He stood up and walked to the side door. He didn't check who it was, just opened the door to his brother Giles.
"Peeta!" He shouted holding up his arms as high as he could lift them, but the bags we're weighing them down.
"Giles!" He said and stepped back to let him in. He dropped the bags as soon as both feet we're in and embraced Peeta in a hug but Peeta pulled away. "You're covered in snow!" he said.
"Well put a shirt on then" Giles said, unravelling the scarf around his neck and hanging it on the pegs next to it along with his coat. Giles was taller than Peeta, and only slightly taller than Lloyd. He had ashy blonde hair similar to Peeta but he kept it long and pushed back. "You're bigger" he said punching Peeta on the chest.
"I swear you're skinnier, if that's possible" he said punching him back
"Hi sweetie" Said their mother who had emerged behind them and she took her son into a warm embrace.
"I'm so sorry I'm late. Finn's car broke down and it was too late by the time we got it working again so we stayed in Seam for the night."
"Oh don't worry about it, you're here now. Aunt Mae and your cousin are coming down too this evening." She said as the all walked into the living room.
"You're kidding, right?" Lloyd said. He wasn't fond of their cousin, Phil, and neither was Peeta really, but he puts up with him because he's family. Phil has a tendency to want to be the best at everything, and brags a lot, which gets on Lloyd's nerved a lot. The last time they saw each other, Lloyd actually punched him. Things could get very tense.
"Jeez. How come everyone around here is buffing up" Giles said as he pulled Lloyd up into hug.
"Maybe you should move down here. It looks like you need a bit of muscle" He said pinching at his arms under his sleeve.
They all sat down on the sofa and floor in the living room and caught up, heard about college life for Giles and his new girlfriend, Jessie, a short brunette from the halls opposite him. After a while their parents left to begin preparing dinner and the boys all sat together talking. Then Peeta heard his phone ringing upstairs so he ran but missed it. When he picked it up he realised he had a number of messages from various people. Gale, Katniss, Rae, Johanna, Finnick - the lot; all wishing him a Merry Christmas. He replied to them all, except he realised he hadn't received a message from Austin yet. He felt annoyed at first, that there was no dedication, but he realised that they weren't together, that dedication wasn't necessary. So he brushed it off then checked who he had missed the call from. He had hoped it was Austin, but he knew it wouldn't be. It was Cato.
His thumb hovered for a moment above the 'call' button but then he pressed it. It rang 5 times before Cato answered.
"Hello"
"Hey, Cato. You rang me?"
"Yeah. I wanted to see how your Christmas is going." That's really sweet thought Peeta.
"It's going good. So far."
"Is that all you're going to say?"
"What else do you want me to say?"
"Well, more than that."
"Umm. Okay. Well, my brother, Giles just got here."
"Only just now? My brother got here yesterday."
"yeah, his car broke down or something. Anyway, he's here now. My Aunt and cousin will be coming over later, unfortunately."
"Why is that bad?"
"My cousin. He's a complete twat." He heard Cato chuckle down the line. There was a very brief silence in between sentences. "So what about your Christmas?"
"Oh, well. It's been alright I guess. There four of us together isn't always peaceful you know. We can always find something to argue about." Peeta felt a stone in his stomach. He recognised those words, the tone. Cato wasn't having a good Christmas and he felt so bad about it.
"Oh. It's surprising actually how good it's been here. I mean in previous year I'd be having a go at Lloyd by this point and we'd end up fighting." What are you doing? That isn't going to make him feel better.
He began to speak again but then he heard shouting down the other line. It was a man's voice; His father maybe. Peeta couldn't work out what he was saying, only heard the muffled sound of Cato's voice. He was covering up the phone.
"Nothing...I'm just on the phone...a friend...Dad, I just...I'm just having a conversation...because I want to talk to him, hear about his Christmas...I'm not doing anything wrong" Peeta heard a female voice being introduced although he couldn't decipher the words. "Mom, please...she's not a slave...don't you think you've had enough" Peeta was panicking now. Should he hang up? It would be rude to keep on listening, right?
"HEY! Stop that...Don't touch her...Let go of me...what does it matter to you...stop it...Dad...STOP IT" The yelling was painful for Peeta to hear, then he heard a bang and a shatter as well as the drop of a phone. A few quieter bangs followed. The words became inaudible then and he hung up, tears filling his eyes. He didn't know what was happening, but it was killing him, what he heard. He figured Cato lived this perfect life as the jock of the school, the hot rich boy who was so kind to everyone, but there is something seriously wrong. Peeta wanted to believe it wasn't usually like this, but deep down he knew that there was a cancer at the heart of that family.
He blinked away the tears in his eyes and puffed out his chest. He heard then the rest of the family arrive downstairs, and he felt like running out and going to Cato's. But he couldn't do that, so he got out a jumper and put it on then sat on his bed and Lloyd came upstairs.
"The cunt's here" was all he said and disappeared into his bedroom and came back out wearing a black sweatshirt. Peeta sat there for a bit longer then and his phone pinged so he checked who the message came from – Cato.
Sorry about that x it said, so Peeta rang him and also immediately he answered.
"Hey." He said.
"Hey. Sorry about that. My dad is just a little drunk, nothing to worry about" Peeta could hear him sniffling down the phone.
"Cato, are you okay?" He asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He said and a brief silence fell over them, but it was heavy, unlike any other silence.
"Here's a funny idea" He said. He didn't know what to do. "Why don't you come over here?"
"Peet, I don't think that's the best idea."
"Why not? I mean, it would be fun. You get to meet my amazing cousin. It'll be a blast"
"I don't think my parents would - " Cato started,
"You don't have to if you don't want to, but I would like it if you did. And it'll be fun. You need the cheering up" He knew he shouldn't have said that last part, but he needed to pull Cato away from whatever is going on in his house. Another silence fell between them and Peeta was now pacing the room.
"I'm sorry Peeta. I can't."
"Okay"
"How about we do something soon though?"
"Yeah. Okay" and he hung up. There wasn't just a stone in his stomach, he felt like the big bad wolf, cut open, stuffed with stones and filled back up again. He could here Phil's awful cackle from downstairs and he cringed.
He made his way downstairs and walked straight pass Phil who sat on the sofa, calling him. He walked into the kitchen but his parents made him go back in and he reluctantly waddled back in to the room.
"What the fuck, you ignored me" Phil said to Peeta.
"Had to speak to mom and Dad." He replied, but speaking to his brothers.
"Anyway, I was just telling them, I totally got the new iphone" he said, waving it to them.
"Oh how did you pay for that then?" Lloyd asked.
"Like I would pay for this myself. Mom paid for it" He said, like it was some achievement, and the three boys on the floor just rolled their eyes at their spoilt cousin. They started to talk amongst themselves, not including Phil in their conversation but he weaved his way into it and soon got talking about a girl who had sucked him off the week before.
"So?" Giles asked.
"Well of course that doesn't matter to you, college boy" He said and looked to Lloyd and Peeta, expecting some reaction.
"Sex isn't a competition" Peeta said, his eyes fixed on his feet.
"Of course it's not. But somehow I believe I'm winning". Peeta just wanted to smack his smug face.
"What makes you think that?" Peeta asked.
"Well have you had a blowjob?" Phil asked, expecting a 'no'.
"Countless" Peeta replied.
"Although they're almost mediocre compared to the sex" Lloyd added.
"You're not a virgin?" Phil asked with a shocked expression and Lloyd shook his head.
"He's far from a virgin." Peeta said.
"Like, how many then?" He asked.
"I don't keep score" Lloyd said. You could detect in his voice how much he had grown tired of this conversation.
"But you must have an idea" Phil sounded agitated.
"I don't know, Phil. At least 10 maybe" he shrugged.
"10 times!" Phil shouted.
"No, not 10 times." Lloyd chuckled. "10 people. And I said at least."
"I don't believe it" Phil said with his arms crossed.
"Believe it. I unfortunately walked in. And the other time's; not even music could block out the noise" Peeta said.
"Well what about you then, Peeta. You're a virgin, yes?" He asked, his mouth open but Peeta shook his head. "I think you're playing me. So what? You've been with 20 people or something?" he was now speaking loud, almost at a shout and it was making the others uncomfortable.
"Nope, just the one guy" Peeta said.
"GUY!" Phil shouted.
"Peet. You're gay?" Giles asked, his voice much more calmer than Phil's.
"Yeah, I am." He said and his brother just smiled back, so he turned to Phil and said: "You got a problem with that?" His tone was violent and threatening. Phil held his mouth open, words trying to escape his mouth but he couldn't find the correct words so instead nothing but silence came out.
"You have an issue with gay people?" Giles then asked, standing up now.
"Nope nope nope nope" Phil repeated.
"Good" Giles said and sat back down.
Phil was reasonably quiet for the rest of the night, keeping his bragging to a minimum and only then was it directed to Mr and Mrs Mellark. The three boys retreated to Lloyd's room to spend the rest of Christmas. Giles would be sleeping there from now on and Lloyd offered it to him and would temporarily be in Peeta's room on a blow up mattress. Giles objected at first but Lloyd insisted. The family felt whole once again with Giles back, and nobody argued with each other which was unusual for 3 brothers – for Peeta and Lloyd more like. Peeta was happy. His Christmas was a good one, but there was still those stone's in his stomach weighing him down, because every time he found himself alone and away from conversation, thought of Cato crept into his mind and he would worry about him and feel guilty for having a good Christmas, as stupid as it sounded. Why was he so bothered by some noises he heard down the phone which could have been nothing? Why was he so concerned? Then he realised something. He was never concerned about Austin. Never concerned about Finnick, but he is concerned now over Cato. He likes him. It may be only the formation of feelings, but he has them. He has feelings for Cato.
Authors Note: Thank's for all the reviews and stuff guys. I've been slow updating I know. I think I know where I want this story to end now whereas I didn't before. I'll try to update more often and get it finished soon for you because I have some ideas for a few more fictions but keep on giving me feedback if you could please. Again, sorry about the slow updates. Thanks though.