Chapter: 13 A Good Day to Snow Hard

The royal officer repeatedly and irritatedly bumped his head against a light post. "This anticipation is going to kill me before the hostages! We need to do something!"

"What are you proposing, sir?" wondered soldier. "We are all ready to act, we just cannot endanger the hostages."

The officer groaned, "This is nerve-racking. We need a plan. I need brain food." He paid the baker with some coins, "Three gingerbread cookies please." He munched away, "Anyone got any ideas?"

Marshmallow raised his hulking hand, "Ooo! Oooo!" he bellowed while stomping and making the ground shake.

"Yes...snowmonster?" huffed the officer.

"Me can pick up house and throw it at castle!" The officer simply facepalmed.

Inside the dungeons of Arendelle Castle, Kai sat against the wall. "This is hopeless. No one will come to save us so long as we are the means to an end."

"Have faith, old friend." comforted Gerda. The woman put her arm around him, "There is always hope."

"But how?" despaired Kai. "Who can save us?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAGH!" screamed Hans from the other room. The prisoners stepped towards the edge of their cells to eavesdrop. "He took out the second wave! That's it! That's it! I will not have my plans ruined by one man. Third wave, get up there and stop this hero!"

Kai gasped, "A hero?"

Gerda smirked, "See?...There is always hope."

"But who is it?" asked the soldier, Clarence. "All of us have been captured!"

Gerda grinned, "Not all of us."

Kai raised a brow, "Oh you don't mean...Olaf? Hah...Little Olaf?...What could that little snowman do? The poor little guy is probably hiding in a closet somewhere.

Olaf stuffed the sixteenth unconscious pirate into the closet and huffed. "There can't be that many more." He heard another band of men running upstairs. "Guess I spoke too soon." He tightened his green headband and disappeared into the shadows.

This war party was half Sea Wraiths and half mercenaries, carrying an assortment of weapons from spears, to swords, to crossbows and firearms. In the center of all of them, was a pirate with two bandoliers of bombs. They stormed each and every room until the group's leader barked, "No one here. Move to the third floor!" The men did as instructed, but halted upon ascending the staircase.

"Well well well..." taunted Olaf. "More of you have come to meet your demise?" In the center of the hall stood a man, clad in a full suit of armor. "Hit me with your best shot then!"

"As you wish," hissed a pirate. "Fire!" He hand his fellow gunmen loosed round after round at the man. Bullets tattered across the armor until the force brought the figure to the floor. The leader ran up and stabbed the "knight" in the chest with his scimitar. He then knelt down and checked the body. He slowly removed the helmet to find it was just a statue. "What in the world?..."

"Wrong, man." laughed Olaf, prompting pirates to shoot at any shadow that moved. They gasped upon seeing an entire array of knight statues positioned around the third floor. "But which one am I?"

"Shoot'em all!" panicked a mercenary. They fired while those with melee weapons attacked the other statues. As they were distracted, Olaf fired his crossbow, using the wrest of Kristoff's dirty laundry to knock out foes.

The snowman clenched all of Elsa and Anna's perfumes in his hands. He had tied them together with the rest of the girls' ribbons. "Forgive me ladies," he whispered to himself. Olaf then turned and threw the homemade explosive. It bursted across the floor, blinding the remaining enemies and stinging their eyes. The men were freaking out, swinging their swords at anything that appeared human, from busts to paintings.

"I SMELL LIKE A PETUNIAAAAA!" screamed a blinded mercenary. While the men were still stunned, Olaf scurried by and pulled the carpet from up under them. He then rolled them up in it and pushed them down the stairs.

One of the pirates had narrowly avoided the rug trap, he turned and gasped upon seeing Olaf. "It's him! I see him!"

"It's about TIME!" jeered Olaf before sending the grandfather clock toppling over him.

"Holy-" was all he could scream before it collapsed.

Another enemy was knocked to the ground from the perfume blast. The man was pinned underneath a fallen couch, and watched with widened eyes as Olaf closed in on him. "Oh no...oh please...no no no! What are you doing?!" The snowman glared down at the trapped mercenary and held out a heavy bag of something. "What's in there?!...What...What are you going to do?!" Olaf opened the bag to reveal pounds of Arendelle's Finest chocolate. "Oh lord...No...NOOO-" Olaf began ceaselessly shoving bon bon's into his mouth, until his screams became muffled grunts.

Three thugs ran through the panic and stopped when they saw one of their own down. One of them knelt down and examined the liquid pouring out of his mouth. "Is it...blood?" asked a mercenary.

"No...it's just as I feared. He's passed out from chocolate overdose."

"Sweet mother of gold...he fed him the whole bag!"

Olaf got against a wall and gripped his crossbow. The snowman panicked when he realized he was nearly out of Kristoff's laundry. All he had left was one pair of underwear. This was no ordinary pair, however. This was the underwear that Kristoff wore when he sweatily worked eight straight hours harvesting ice. This was the underwear that caused Anna to sleep in a separate bed because Kristoff wouldn't wash it. This...was Kristoff's lucky pair.

Olaf took a deep breath and then darted down the hall exclaiming, "FOR ARENDEEEEEEELLE!" Three mercenaries charged him with their weapons raised high. Olaf leapt over the first man's spear and rubbed the underwear across his face, knocking him out instantly. He then spun and grabbed hold of the next man's axe. He used it to pull himself over before uppercutting the foe with the underwear. "Two down, one to go!"

The third foe carried a massive sledgehammer. "Prepare to die!" He raised it high and roared in anger. Unfortunately, this roar would cost him the victory. As he opened his mouth, Olaf shoved the dirty underwear into it, knocking him out in the blink of an eye.

Olaf caught his breath and beat his chest like a territorial gorilla, "I AM OLAF! AND I LIKE WARM HUUUUUUUUUGS!"

"Olaf..." said a voice from behind.

The snowman quickly turned to see Hans slowly, and ominously walking down the hall. "Well well well...Hans," he sneered.

"A little...stupid...ditzy snowman...has been taking down my men? I had to see it to believe it" The villain lightly clapped his hands, "Bravo, little guy. Bravo. So what are you?" Hans leaned against the nearest wall while gazing at the carnage. "One of the queen's creations I take it. She's really something, isn't she? She'll make one amazing bride."

"She'd never marry you!"

"Oh...we'll see about that, you little snowball." Hans suddenly yelled, "NOW!" Two Sea Wraiths emerged from cover and fired their flintlocks.

"Oh no!" gasped Olaf. The bullets went right through Olaf, but nearly made him melt. He ran for cover as Hans and his henchmen gave chase. They pursued the snowman into the same lounge where Hans left Anna to die years ago. Olaf picked up a log from the fireplace and flung it straight at a Wraith's head, taking him down.

Hans picked up the piece of firewood and smirked. He lit a match and set the wood on fire, proceeding to throw it towards Olaf. "Getting warm in here, snowman?" he taunted as his henchman grabbed more firewood to do the same. "Getting toasty yet?!" Hans cheered, "Melt baby, melt!"

Olaf's feet began to melt as he hastily set up his gear. He then crawled under the nearest table and exited out back into the hall. "Hahaaaa!" mocked the pirate.

Hans marched into the flaming room to check the wreckage, "He should be a puddle by now." The prince gasped when he saw something instead of Olaf behind the couch. It was the set of bandoliers carried by one of his downed henchmen. Every bomb had been ignited from Hans' fire.

Olaf whistled from the adjacent door and waved, "Bye bye!"

Hans yelped, "RUN!" he and the pirate leapt just as every bomb exploded, shaking the castle's very foundation and blasting a gigantic hole in the lounge. Bystanders pointed and screamed at the sight of the explosion lighting up the night. Hans picked himself up and punched the ground in frustration. "That's it! Get everyone up here...EVERYONE!" Hans mustered every single pirate and mercenary downstairs to charge up together and storm the upstairs floors. Even Captain Marik joined in for the full assault. They cleared every room, overturned every table.

"There's no sign of the snowman!" growled Marik.

"But if he's not here..." thought Hans. "Where would he be?"

Olaf scurried into the dungeon. "Hey everybody!"

"Olaf?" gasped Kai.

"Olaf!" cheered Gerda.

"I don't believe it!" said Clarence. "Great job, little snowman!"

Olaf quickly unlocked the cell doors with his carrot nose and ordered, "Everyone! Make for the town! Go! Go! Goooooo!"

Gerda gave Olaf a hug and kissed his snowy head. "Brilliant work, dearie. I like the headband!"

Olaf giggled, "Thanks, now get yourself to safety!"

The pudgy snowman was ushering people out when Hans and his men came running back downstairs. "NOOOO!" screamed Hans as he threw a tantrum. "NO! NO! NO! He's ruining everything!" Hans quickly caught a glimpse of someone downstairs and dashed after them.

Olaf was about to exit when he heard Gerda scream. The snowman took cover behind a table. "Gerda?" he whispered to himself.

Hans had the woman at gunpoint as he dragged her upstairs. "You may have freed the others, but I've still got one, Olaf!" He laughed diabolically.

Olaf tightened his headband, "Not for long. Hang on, Gerda...I'm coming!"