-CHAPTER THIRTEEN-
FORGIVENESS
Friday 20th November 2009, continued…
ANASTASIA
WHAT HAVE I DONE? This man melts and breaks my heart simultaneously. He left. Left over a silly misunderstanding. These moods are confusing me! Yet why does he need to be so God damn good looking.
Gripping the pamphlets Grace gave me, my fingers rubbed over the glossy covers. The top one "Making your choice," made me hug my blankets a little tighter.
"Your decision to have an abortion or continue a pregnancy is not a simple or easy one. It is important to take the time you need to make the choice that is best for you. Talking with family members, friends and loved ones whom you trust can help…"
Fuck I can't do this. I don't want an abortion! I can't kill my baby.
Flicking through the remaining pamphlets, What to Expect, How is your body changing?, What can you take during pregnancy?, and Teenage Pregnancy Support, I'm so overwhelmed. The sound of the door slowly opening had me in a panic.
Shit!
I crumbled the pages under my sheets and noticed a happy Kate gliding through the doorway.
"Oh honey," she said as her hand carefully stroked my hair. It was comforting, making some of the worries float away.
"Sooo, Christian left in a hurry and Elliot too." she cocked her eyebrow expecting me to spill.
Hearing his name hurt, blinking hard hoping the tears didn't fall. The only form of communication was a simple shrug as I didn't have the strength to muster a single word.
Why? I shouldn't have pushed him away.
"Ana, what the fuck is going on?" Kate's voice echoed as my mouth remained shut. The view outside my window seemed the better option. The safe option.
Just feeling her presence made me realized how unusual this whole situation was. She gave me a total of twenty seconds before she pushed further for vital information. Information I wasn't willing to give.
Knowing I was trapped, should I just cave and voluntary give her something rather than it being ripped from me.
My words could only whisper, "He thought I had a boyfriend, you know… the sleeping with kind." My words were far from clear as my teeth clenched my lip hoping this would filter any further information during the Kate interrogation.
"What? Why would he ever get that impression?"
"I might have mentioned the name Ray,"
"Oh please," She scoffed, "guys can be real dicks, but I know he likes you… you know a whole lot, because—"
"You don't understand, I pushed him away."
"Hang on, what were your words exactly, maybe he misinterpreted th—"
"I quote," I arched my index fingers in the air, "No, get out. Oh and it gets even clearer, I need you to go."
"Honestly you need to think of the context, words have so many meanings. But seriously he left?" She whispered, "What a pussy!"
"He was thinking about me." I paused, "It's.. well Kate… He knew if we fought it could be bad for—" shit, my breath hitched, catching at the back of my throat.
Don't mention the babies. Don't say anything about babies. No Babies.
"Bad. For. What?" Kate slowed her words, "What the fuck Ana, what aren't you telling me? Is there something wrong with you? You need to tell me n-o-w!"
"Well, you could say yes," My cheeks grew warm but instantly it dissipated, "but really it's nothing," shaking my head.
"What? Nothing? Why are you being so fucking cryptic? What's the matter with you?"
"My blood pressure…well, it's a little off and stress can make it rise."
"Aww, that's why he left. I know, oh honey you're both excited."
Excited? Shit, she knows…
"About what, ex-ac-t-ly?"
"The Ball silly," she slapped my arm, her look was as if I had forgotten her birthday.
"Ouch. Kate don't injure the girl that's lying in the hospital bed."She couldn't help but roll her eyes.
In Kate's particular fashion, she went on talking about her Ball preparations. All I could think about was how fucking awkward it's going to be staying at the Grey's household and Christian's Mom knowing I'm knocked up with twins, possibly by her youngest son.
"Kate, I'm going to rest for a little while, I'm feeling a little off, " which wasn't a lie. I was rather nauseous and hoping the meds were going to kick in soon.
Just as Kate stood up to leave the room Grace walked in. She held a white folder matching her doctor's jacket. With my fingers crossed I hope Grace looks at my face. She turned and smiled. I returned the gesture giving a slight shake to indicate don't mention anything to Kate.
"Ana, how are you feeling? Is the Maxolon aiding the nausea?" She looked in the folder clicking her pen and scrawling notes on the page.
"Not really. I still feel pretty queasy."
"Well it's only been," looking at the clock on the wall, "h'mm, 45 minutes. It shouldn't be too much longer. If need be we can give you a little Tylenol too," she hurried through her notes again.
"Oh Grace."
"Yes dear."
"Kate and I were only just mentioning the Ball. Is it wise that I attend with my current situation?" cocking my brow.
"What situation?" Kate heavily whispered to me.
I mouthed "blood pressure" and she sighed with great relief.
"Ah, well given that you are looking much better, eat small meals regularly. Oh and of course keep your fluids up, but I don't see any issue. Maybe lay low on the alcohol, yeah," she winked.
Could she be any more obvious? Turning my head to Kate I mouthed "blood pressure" again, but I knew that this excuse wasn't going to work when I'm the size of a planet.
"Thanks. I'm looking forward to it," I faked a smile.
Internally I was cringing since I know it's not all happy with Christian and myself.
"Now there is no reason for you to stay overnight…"
That made me happy, even though I do feel a million times better than this morning, a nice cozy bed sounds lovely. I would prefer my own bed but being on the other side of the country, it's a little impossible.
"Since you're staying with us this weekend, I've ensured Mia's room is organized for you." Grace said.
"Mia?"
"Ana," Kate interjected as her nails brushed my skin, "remember, Elliot's little sister," and Christian's too I guess.
"Mia is with friends this weekend, and by far not old enough for the Ball. Gretchen has prepared the room for you dear," Gretchen? Prepared the room, what the hell? "Kate, you and Elliot will have his old room, I'm not too sure about Christian but if he chooses to stay I'm sure it will be in his old room as well."
My best-friend's face was the epitome of happiness, grinning from ear to ear. Me, I was on the fake smile's path and it was beginning to injure my face and heart. Grace's cell buzzed, bringing us out of our smiles, fake or otherwise.
"Excuse me girls. My son." She pointed to the phone, unsure which one she was referring to.
We both smiled in return, but my ears couldn't help but to eaves drop.
"Elliot? Where are you?" She patiently waited for his answer.
"Well yes, you both deserted them. Elliot just answer me, where are you?"
Grace continued answering in code, with the odd 'yes', 'no' and 'it can be done'. What exactly was she up to?
She finished her call and began to speak with us as if the conversation never ended, "Ana, my shift finishes at seven, I'm more than happy to drive you to our home. I'm not entirely sure what my sons are doing, so Kate you are more than welcome to accompany Ana," Grace delicately worded.
"Umm, I'm not sure," I frowned my brows at Kate.
As always Kate was full of smiles. It was obvious she was happy that her boyfriend's mother wasn't biting her head off, "oh, we will be delighted," she said as her hand gripped my own and that Kate wink slipped in.
At some point Grace left.
Whoa she's a ninja.
"Kate what was that about," I thumbed to the door, "only a few days ago, and even on the plane you were petrified meeting Elliot's parents. This includes his mother. What's changed?"
"Oh I don't know," she couldn't even make eye contact.
This is rare. Something isn't adding up.
"Where's my bag?" I tried to get out of bed, "I need to message Christian. I need to tell him I'm ok," my words rushed out.
"Ana? What haven't you told me?" Kate stood with her hand on her hip, "Explain."
"It's ok Kate," rolling my eyes, "I was dehydrated and my blood pressure was a little elevated. You know flying isn't my favorite and with the stress of the date… I think everything hit me all at once," holding her hand, "I'm ok Kate. But, I do need to message Christian."
She found my bag, lumping it on my legs. As I unzipped the front pocket, instantly I clenched my well used cell, and noticed several messages from C?. Damn it, I haven't even had time to change his name.
C?: I'm sorry
C?: I'm sorry
C?: Forgive me
His messages were short and clear. He wasn't walking away, he was giving us some deserved space.
C?: I'm waiting for you
He's waiting for me. What, outside the room or in general?
ANA: Christian, I'm staying at your parents' place tonight. I think we should talk. Can I say everything is overwhelming :/
I waited. No reply. Maybe he wasn't waiting outside the room?
"Kate can you please check to see if Christian is outside?"
Kate skipped to the door frame, poked her head out as her golden curls flicked all over the place. Popping her head back in the room, there was no expression. It was clear, he wasn't there.
"Well where is he?" I crinkled my nose in frustration.
Checking my cell. Still nothing.
Maybe he's giving me some space to think things through; honestly it might do the world of good. But where is he?
"Ana… but Elliot is out here?" she smiled.
"Oh," I sighed, "well aren't you lucky," I frowned and feeling a tad jealous.
"Honey don't frown, he has flowers and a big smile."
"Yeah umm, Kate can you stop rubbing it in."
"No, no you have it all wrong he has a card and it say's, Pixie I'm waiting," I couldn't help but smile at Kate, "Who's Pixie?"
Kate popped her head out of the door again, "Ell, who is Pixie?" Listening to their mumbling banter I heard the exact moment the penny dropped and Kate gave a large sigh.
"Umm, so apparently they are for you," winking at me, "He also has a wheelchair, just for you."
"Can I leave? Don't I need to be discharged? Kate I can't just leave the hospital."
As the word 'discharged' fell from my lips, Grace made an appearance. Her large white folder was back and she began to check a list.
"Ok darling, you are good to go. Now you need to take it easy over the next 24 hours. If you have any questions just ask me, don't feel that any question is silly, I'm here for you. Remember to keep hydrated darling and don't forget to read the pamphlets."
Finally out of this white prison!
Grace removed my cannula and placed a cute little pink princess strip over the wound.
"So I'm free," smiling at Grace.
"Yes dear," she smiled back.
As I sat up and flopped my legs over the edge of the bed, I knew I had moved too fast as the room began to spin.
"Ana, now it's policy to leave the hospital in a wheelchair."
"Really? I can walk… Oh hang on is that why Elliot has the chair?"
"I'm afraid so," she couldn't make eye contact. What's going on?
With Kate and Grace helping me to the wheelchair, the flowers Elliot had in his hand blew me away.
"Elliot you didn't need to get me flowers. I already have these," lifting my beautiful bouquet from Christian.
"Oh no, these are from Christian too, here read this," he ripped the small card from the brown paper entitled "Pixie I'm waiting."
As we started to move Elliot was his goofy self, making all kinds of car burnout sounds.
Holding my little card, I tore open the cream envelope:
1+1=4
What kind of crazy math is this?
It was gorgeous with two little babies on the cover. Ensuring Kate doesn't see I open the card quickly slight hunched over.
I gasped to see, several print outs of the ultrasound, our two tiny beings.
To the lovable mother of my unborn children.
"Ana are you alright?" Kate broke me out of my daze.
I covered the card with my hand, "yeah the card is just a little inappropriate to read out loud. I'll tell you later when he's not around," raising my head towards Elliot.
"Yes finally the juicy stuff," Kate couldn't help but giggle.
Looking at the card again I finished the message.
I'm waiting for you.
See you soon.
C x
"Ana are you blushing?" Kate winked, "It must be a dirty note, you never blush," she giggled.
"No, it's a little warm in here that's all," fanning my face and smiling at her.
…..
IT SEEMED LIKE HOURS I had been wheeled around the hospital, as we finally entered an elevator, I couldn't believe how slow they were moving. I want out of this hospital.
"Elliot, who are you messaging?" Kate inquired.
"Just my bro," being goofy as always.
As the doors opened I could hear a piano. It sounded familiar, and I couldn't shake the song from my mind. As we rolled down several more corridors the music increased in volume. My hands fumbled, rearranging the flowers on my lap.
Elliot stopped abruptly, giving his burning rubber sound effects.
Oh Elliot!
He was there. In the center of the foyer entrance of UWM, Christian was sitting at a brightly painted piano with flowers surrounding the instrument. When I say flowers, I meant buckets of them, literally. I lost count after the tenth. The smell was amazing yet slightly over powering.
Kate held my hand tight, as I was frozen in my chair, unable to move.
Breathe Ana, breathe.
He pressed the ivory keys and my mouth dropped. Hearing the notes being played, it was obvious it was an old untuned instrument. Did this matter? Not one bit.
Out of nowhere a voice started to sing.
It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide,
I don't have much money but boy, if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live
If I was a sculptor but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
Oh, I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song
and this one's for you
My hands relaxed around my bouquets, hearing his voice sent chills right down to my toes.
And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world
How does he know I love this song?
I sat on the roof and kicked up the moss
Well, a few of the verses, well, they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind
While I wrote this song
It's for people like you that
keep it turned on
So excuse me forgetting
But these things, I do
You see, I've forgotten
If they're green or they're blue
Jesus Christian, they are Blue, they are blue!
Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen
And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but
Now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
He paused staring at the keys, looking up at me with a smile all over his face and continued, refusing to look away, never at the keys.
How wonderful life is while you're in the world
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world.
My hand fell from Kate's. My heart was racing trying to escape my chest. How do you react to something so selfless, beautiful? This was another first Christian has given me. Singing, singing to me.
Oh my.
Leaping from the wheelchair straight into the lap of Christian's, I didn't say a word, he didn't say a word. There wasn't a need to, looking into each others' eyes was enough. As my arms slowly surrounded him, and I felt at home, with my Christian.
A/N:
SONG MENTIONED:
1. Your Song - ELTON JOHN, but I prefer Kevin Laurence's cover version. It can be found here- goo. gl/YPRQ15 (remove space)
Thank you for reading the new reworked/beta-ed "Misplaced & Found." If you haven't already done so, please favourite, follow, review and PM me regarding any M&F questions or concerns. See you soon for chapter 14.
missmusicteach